Rest in Peace Stuart

Photographed by Astrid Kirchherr

Stuart Fergusson Victor Sutcliffe

June 23, 1940 - April 10, 1962

Cynthia met Stuart at Liverpool College of Art when they started in 1956 as classmates and became friends.

“Cynthia and Stuart got on much better, and Cynthia has told me many times how people couldn't help being aware of Stuart; she said he could always be found at work, always sketching something. She said it was clear to everyone that art was his whole life. By the time Cynthia began going out with John, they were both good friends of my brother. When John was difficult with either of them, they also had each other; Cynthia said she was so close to Stuart she instinctively turned to him and he her when John’s moods became too difficult to cope with alone. She also emphasized that John and Stuart had a remarkable affinity, each transmitting his own particular talents to the other.”

Pauline Sutcliffe

Stuart would encourage and help John with his art work. Cynthia would be in the corner, watching (and maybe doing her own work!). John moved in with Stuart and his roommate and friend Rod Murray.

“He was very spotty with horn-rimmed glasses and, just like John's, they were taped up at the edges. As a student, he was precisely the opposite of John, because he was working himself to death, totally dedicated. He wasn't eating properly and didn't have much to do with girls. His work was all-important to him. John needed Stuart really badly. He was going down the wrong road with these two characters, Tony Carricker and Geoff Mohammed, and he probably realized it because John wasn't stupid… Stuart was great fun in art and their minds were right for each other. John obviously looked up to him, and he was bringing John out as an artist.”

Cynthia, 1985

Stuart did have girlfriends in college: Susan Williams and Veronica Johnson. He was with Veronica by 1960 when they went to see Gene Vincent in concert with John, Cynthia, Paul McCartney, and George Harrison. Stuart briefly dated Susan but he left for Hamburg before their relationship grew to the steady phase; they remained friends and Stuart wrote to Susan often.

“He didn't work with us. We were in different departments. But he was the star student in Liverpool College of Art. And everywhere you went, if you went into Life class, there would be drawings or sketches by Stuart. He was a real star pupil. So, we were always influenced and always bumping into each other. Sort of not a lot and not very close friends in the beginning and then John and Stuart suddenly struck up this very bizarre friendship, because Stuart was so unlike John. I think John was desperate for some normality, or, I don't know, something straight in his life because he’s just lost his mother and his history is well known with his father and mother, his mother dying, and his father leaving him. I think there was some stability in Stuart and myself at the time.”

Cynthia

“I loved Stuart. He was really lovely. He was a good friend,a really good friend.”

Cynthia

“Stuart will always have a special corner in my heart. A sensitive, caring young man, he was my friend and supportive ally on many occasions. His talent was outstanding and, thank God, will endure as his memory endures me. His life was cruelly cut short but the legacy he left behind was his work- and his enthusiasm for life, truth, and love.”

Cynthia

While John was in Hamburg, Cynthia went to the funeral with Astrid. When he returned, John and Cynthia visited the Sutcliffe family.

John the Naughty Boyfriend

Part one of two. I am going to say (well, write) it: once again this won't be an easy read and there will be other difficult subjects to explore. However, I can't ignore it either. It's another part of John that makes me cringe and wonder why Cynthia managed to be with him… but to be fair, Cynthia didn't know this part was going on until much later. Cynthia admitted that she was blinded by love and naive.

Aside from his infidelity while with Cynthia, I am also going to take a little look into John's previous relationships with girlfriends before Cynthia here as well.

John was not an angelic boyfriend: he was jealous, possessive, quick mood swings, and he cheated. Why be in a relationship in the first place? Only John can answer that. It's been said that John cheated right from the start. And, of course, he didn't want Cynthia to know about it. Although I do think some affair claims were exaggerating and mythical, but fact is fact: he had a wandering eye.

To be fair though, so did Paul McCartney, George Harrison, and later Ringo Starr. I have heard, and I can believe it, that Paul was the worst of the four. At least until he became a married man because I never heard Paul cheating on any of his three wives. Anyway, back to our main focus: John. I think Cynthia had her own suspicions, but had little lack of proof. She wasn't that stupid but love can be blind. John also kept Cynthia away from some parties- probably told her it would be too dangerous or some lame yet believable excuse to keep her away. His friends would also cover for John.

“Cynthia never went to them or many other parties; everybody protected her from what was going on between John and other women.”

Pauline Sutcliffe

“I didn't suspect, none of us did. We only heard about it years later. Now I’ve got to know how many there were and what happened and I've thought, 'My God, when he was in Hamburg, I could have caught anything off him!’ Thank God I was lucky. They must have gone through so many German frauleins while they were there, but we didn't honestly think of it.”

Cynthia, 2005

“John, who didn't mind describing himself as 'a great wanker from way back’ was highly delighted with some of his efforts. 'I’ve had a great session,’ he would tell us, 'I pulled a couple of birds- but not a word to Cyn!’ Cynthia would often arrive at Mathew Street for our evening performances- and so perhaps would a girl who had been posing for John in the afternoon. When a girl beamed a knowing smile his way, he would switch off as if he never seen her before in his life or, if near enough, give a quick innocuous 'Hello’, for fear of Cynthia stumbling onto his secret.”

Pete Best

John would take pictures of these girls. I wonder where those pictures are today? John may have hidden or destroyed them.

I do wonder what made John want to cheat? Although some say John cheated right from the start. Cynthia did consistently say that they were inseparable in those early days of their relationship. The only real time John could cheat was when he took Cynthia to the bus station late at night. John was a night owl, so there is a good chance he used that time. Other chances would be when Cynthia was in class during the day (morning and afternoon); John playing hooky wasn't unusual. He was either playing with his band, drinking, and, yes, a side treat. Another available time would be playing somewhere with the Beatles out of town (not Hamburg or Scotland) or in a dangerous neighborhood where John convinced Cynthia to stay away. John did indeed have quite an opportunity to do as he pleased.

The affairs. The girls. Let's get into the ones who came forward or that we know about.

Beth was already talked about in a previous post (read Wild Ride: the Dating Years or click on her name under Labels on the right side of the blog ➡).

Barbara Baker

Barbara Baker (previous girlfriend)

John's first serious girlfriend when he was 16 years old and who he lost his virginity to. John's sister Julia remembers finding them making out and he would pay her to scram off (yet, he didn't pay when while doing the same thing to Cynthia!). Obviously, the relationship didn't last. Maybe a year.

Margaret Jones (previous girlfriend)

On and off girlfriend of Len Garry who briefly dated John in between while with Barbara. It was so brief, it was a type of relationship that if you blink, you would miss seeing it happen.

Thelma Pickles

Thelma Pickles (previous girlfriend)

Thelma was John's next girlfriend when he started Liverpool College of Art. I would say that they had most in common: her father bailed when she was 9 and they had a similar outlook on life. Thelma and John did have sex- even at Mendips when Mimi wasn't home. Their relationship basically petered out and remained friends. Thelma did briefly dated Paul a few short years later. Thelma and Cynthia knew each other but mainly as friendly associates. Thelma thought Cynthia could edge off John's anger. During their respected time with John at Liverpool College of Art, both Thelma and Cynthia would try to do John's schoolwork for him so he could squeak by, or attempted.

“He called her Miss Prim, and he said to me, 'It’s a pity she's a bit posh,’ implying there was a gulf he would never be able to overcome. It wasn't that John thought she had any feelings of superiority. He just recognized her different background, because she was from over the water. It was our inverted snobbery. When she walked into the room, he’d say, 'Don't talk like that 'cause Cynthia's here.’ He meant we had to be on our best behavior.”

Thelma Pickles

“Cynthia was so quiet. A completely different type from us. She came from over the water, the posh part, from a middle class area. She wore a twin set. She was very nice, but I just couldn't see her suiting John. He used to go on about her, telling us how marvelous she was. I just couldn't see it. I left college for a year, and when I was away I heard they were going strong. I thought that would settle him down, calm him a bit, but it didn't turn out that way at all.”

Thelma Pickles

I don't know if John cheated on Thelma but I wouldn't be surprised if he did.

Patricia Inder

Patricia Inder

One time on my Children of the Beatles Facebook page, my co-Administrator put up a picture of Julian with Paul Kilmister, son of Lemmy from a popular metal rock band Motorhead and Patricia, when they were briefly in a band together. Patricia made a comment and I, being slightly as a Cynthia defender and sarcastical bitch, replied to her, referring her as John's mistress. I guess she didn't like that word mistress at all as she insisted that she wasn't his mistress but a girlfriend who already shared her story in recent biographies on The Beatles. So… I suppose in her mind that she was The girlfriend and Cynthia was the side piece? I think I used the proper definition of 'mistress’ quite well… what do you think? Well, that was my only encounter with a side lover (MISTRESS!) of John's. That must have been awkward for Julian and for Paul of their parents’ love triangle.

Anyway, let's get down to the real point: Patricia regularly saw the Beatles perform, hardly missing their shows, and became friends with the band. She was 15 at the time and John thought she was too young, but as she claims, John wrote Hello Little Girl for her. When Patricia turned 19, their friendship turned romantic. They mostly had their trysts at her friend's apartment with a spare room and spend their nights together (after John took Cynthia to the train station), and when Cynthia got her own apartment, he would say he would be with Paul writing songs.

“John and I were friends before we became lovers and he was my first. I supposed I’ve always loved him.”

Patricia Inder

During their 'friend’ years (1958-1960), Patricia had a crush on Paul, who was dating Dot at the time. She wasn't attracted to John until he kissed her at a private party for two at a mutual friend’s apartment. He was romantic with her- kissing her eyelids. They would also talk, John spoke about his parents… I guess Cynthia was wrong that he only opened up to her… he would talk about his late mother to Patricia as well as with Cynthia.

“I knew about her, but she didn't know about me. John didn't often bring her to gigs, but I do remember one time he brought her to the Cavern. He came up to me and said he’d be over later after he’d put Cynthia in a taxi. Obviously, I wasn't happy about the situation and I’d tell John I felt I was wasting my time. His response was that one woman was never enough for a man. He would say he was torn between two blondes, that he loved Cynthia, but was in love with me. I have nothing against Cynthia. In fact, I’d love to meet her because we’d have a lot to talk about.”

Patricia Inder

If John was so 'in love’ with Patricia, why didn't he broke up with Cynthia? He had no problems doing so with Yoko, so why not with Patricia? Again, only John can answer that. Patricia claims that while they were drinking over dinner and after they left the restaurant, he proposed. She thought he was joking. The next day, it was forgotten. From the way she told her story, John was mostly with her in between gigs with the Beatles, nevermind with Cynthia. What about when John was in Hamburg- did he also write to Patricia? Did she travel up to see and be with him?

After Cynthia discovered she was pregnant, Paul told Patricia and John confirmed it (Patricia also claimed she had a pregnancy scare around the same time Cynthia discovered she was pregnant). He wanted to continue on with Patricia… ok, now this is the area where it gets sketchy as there are two different versions of the story:

1. According to the Daily Mail (admittedly not the best source), Patricia didn't want to continue on. After the Beatles left Liverpool for good in 1963, Patricia moved on as a Nanny and didn't see John again until 1965.
2. According to Philip Norman’s book, John Lennon: The Life, Patricia did continue to see John after he got married and had Julian. He would have Cynthia believe that he was working (on tour, writing with Paul) until he moved to London.

So, which one is true?

In 1965, the Beatles were playing at the Hammersmith Odeon. Patricia somehow got a backstage pass to see John. He was combing his hair until he saw her. Calling her the love of his life, John swing her around and kissed Patricia. They had little time to talk before he was to be on stage. That was the last time they would ever see each other. Patricia moved on with Lemmy Kilmister but held a torch for John. Apparently, John would ask mutual friends about her and would've loved to see her again.

“John spoilt it for me. He made me think all men were as romantic, funny, and talented as him. John was special, he really was. Wouldn't it have been great if I had married him after he proposed? Things may have turned out very differently for both of us.”

Patricia Inder

I wonder if John would have left Patricia for Yoko as he did with Cynthia? We will never know…

Besides Liverpool, there was also Hamburg.

John and Bettina Derlien in Hamburg, 1966

Bettina Derlien

Bettina worked as a barmaid at the Star Club in Hamburg. She soon discovered that she and John had a lot in common. They would go to the movies whenever John had free time and then some. It wasn't long until Bettina got pregnant; John allegedly demanded that she would get an abortion (proof that John was a naughty boy), which she did so. But the abortion would affect her health and weight by developing a glandular condition. Their relationship changed when John acted all shoddy but Bettina believed he really cared for her. In 1963, knowing that the Beatles were becoming popular, Bettina convinced a friend to take her down to where they were staying to reunite with John, who was now married. John saw her but avoided her as much as he could. Bettina encountered John once more in 1966 when the Beatles tour in Hamburg; it was a much friendlier encounter than three years previously and even posed together for photos.

Renata

A brief girlfriend in Hamburg but they had little time for each other due to conflicting schedules.

Cynthia was unaware of these affairs, she didn't find out until much later. I am not sure about Patricia, but Cynthia was at least happy to be the one John held on to. Cynthia was the one he wrote home to (that we know of!) and she was also the one John sent money to from his meager earnings for Cynthia to save for their future.

“I couldn't believe what he was doing. I said, 'If you do this every week, what do you live on?’ and he said, 'Oh, I can earn a few marks by playing for this stripper 'round the back street in the afternoon.’ It was incredible- very responsible behavior for a boy of that age. All the musicians seemed to booze their money away. John had to get it back to Liverpool quickly.”

Henry Henroid, the Star Club’s booking agent

“When John was with me, it was total commitment. Whatever he did outside our relationship didn't seem very important. We were together such a lot of the time that whatever other affairs he had once we met couldn't have amounted to much because I was with him most of the time. He kept me in Liverpool as late as I dared stay. It wasn't as if he wanted to get rid of me. Later on, during the Beatles’ very busy period and when he was away a lot, it was a different matter. But love is blind.”

Cynthia, 1985

Ying & Yang

John and Stuart playing in the sand by the Baltic Sea, April of 1961

Photographed by Astrid Kirchherr

“It was a very beautiful friendship John had with Stu. John, even though he’d gone into the music end of the art world and left his art behind, he still desperately wanted to be a painter, and Stuart was a fantastic and dedicated artist. It was like John was ying and he was yang. Stuart had the discipline, the talent, he was a genius in his own right. John was the outrageous musician, whom Stuart was fascinated by, and Stuart taught John many things. They totally understood each other and go to each other what they knew, what they had to offer. John helped Stuart to assert himself, and Stuart helped John to come down a little bit, to be less abrasive, less harsh. That was the beauty of their friendship.”

Cynthia, 1988

Always Friends

Cynthia and Astrid

Astrid Kirchherr remained friends with John and Cynthia- mostly Cynthia. In September of 1963, Astrid and a friend of hers traveled to Paris. She somehow heard that John and Cynthia were spending their belated honeymoon there and left a note at the front desk of their hotel to meet up. They drank, ate, drank some more, having a jolly good time. It was real late, John and Cynthia were in no condition to go anywhere so all four of them piled into Astrid's hotel bed and slept. They must have quite a hangover the following morning!

Astrid, Maureen, and Pattie watching The Beatles film A Hard Day's Night, 1964

In the Spring of 1964, while The Beatles were were filming A Hard Day's Night, Astrid came down with someone doing a project. She visited the set where she met Maureen Cox, Pattie Boyd, and maybe Jane Asher (not confirmed at this time). Astrid visited Ringo and George's apartment, hung out with George's parents, and visited John and Cynthia- meeting their almost a year old son, Julian, for the first time.

“I was very friendly with Cynthia, John's first wife, and used to visit them at their flat in London.”

Astrid Kirchherr, 2013

Not much is really known after that other than Cynthia saying it had been a long time since she and Astrid would see each other again. Life carried on but their friendship was always there. In 1994, Cynthia and Astrid attended the premiere of Backbeat in London with Julian and Pattie. In the 2000s, Astrid and Cynthia appeared together at a few Beatles’ conventions. At the time of this writing, Astrid hasn't spoken about Cynthia's death (granted it has been a while since her last interview). Sadly, Astrid died on May 12, 2020 in Hamburg.

Cynthia and Astrid in Hamburg, 2005

Astrid, Bernard Kurz (event producer), and Cynthia in the Summer of 2010 in Berlin

Cynthia and Astrid in Hamburg, 2011

Photographed by Heinrich Geisler

Short Time, Forever Love: Stuart & Astrid

A love story tragically cut short in less than 2 years. It was a whirlwind romance that could have lasted for years. Stuart changed his life for love, he made Hamburg his home. In late 1961, Stuart took Astrid to Liverpool to meet his family and see the sights as Astrid did with him in Hamburg. The second time Astrid returned to Liverpool was for his funeral. Astrid did marry -twice- but both ended in divorce. Stuart is the love of her life, he was hard to fill the void. Astrid remained friends with John, Paul, and especially George. She also remained friends with Cynthia and Dot named her first born daughter after Astrid.

Postman, Postman, Don't Be Slow

John and Cynthia on the beach of the Baltic Sea in Hamburg, 1961

Photographed by Astrid Kirchherr

The first ‘tour’ separation of John and Cynthia was when the Silver Beatles went to Scotland for a few weeks. John sent Cynthia a postcard or two. Then, in August of 1960, John, Paul McCartney, George Harrison, Stuart Sutcliffe, and newly recruited Pete Best, embarked on a questionable extended residency in Hamburg, Germany.

“It was as if they’d gone off to war.”

Dot Rhone

“The group had started to get its own fans. I knew they had lots of girls hanging around them, but I never worried or got jealous. I seemed so much older than all the girls. I felt very secure. But I was much more worried about Hamburg. That seemed so far away and for such a long time. I knew the Liverpool girls, but I didn't know anything about the situation in Hamburg. Anything could happen to them in Hamburg.”

Cynthia, 1968

John promised Cynthia he would write every day. Sure enough, his letters arrived almost daily.

“Thanks sexiest letters this side of Henry Miller. Forty pages long, some of them. [To Cynthia] You haven't destroyed them, have you?”

John, 1968

“He’d written all the time he was away, of course.”

Cynthia, 1968

John filled the letters with the adventurers the band were having- playing at all hours and needed more songs. He would ask Cynthia for help. She would go to the record store, listening and slowing down the record to write down the lyrics to send to John. A Shot of Rhythm and Blues is one example. He would also write notes of love, how much he missed her, wanted her, and reassuring to be patient for him to come home. John would cover the envelope with more love notes, including SWALK (Sealed With A Loving Kiss) and a note to the Postman, “Postman, Postman, don't be slow, I’m in love with Cyn, so go, man, go!” There were also several lewd sexual references that made Cynthia blush and hide the letters from her mother.

“...the love and warmth of his letters made me feel wonderful and miserable at the same time.”

Cynthia, 1985

Cynthia realized that she and John didn't have any photos of one another. However, she did share a story that John borrowed a camera to take pictures of Cynthia to have with him. Maybe he had pictures of her, but she didn't have any of him? Well, Cynthia dolled herself up and went to the photo booth. John sent back his own strips with Goofy and disgusting faces to make Cynthia laugh. Although he missed Cynthia, the boys were having a time of their lives. George was 17 and lost his virginity while the others pretended to be asleep but cheered after he finished. I will discuss John's affairs in another post. Anyway, they slept behind the theater and shared the bathroom with the customers. One night, Klaus Voormann took his girlfriend Astrid Kirchherr to see the Beatles perform after seeing them on a previous night after they had an argument. Astrid became a fan and, during their break, asked the Beatles for her to take photos of them. Klaus and Astrid were modern beatniks, dressed in leather and velvet in black, very fashionable, and in the art scene. The Beatles were quite impressed and attracted of Astrid. However, she took quite a liking to Stuart and vice versa. Cynthia took notice on how often John wrote about Astrid in his letters. She became quite jealous and expected a break up letter at any time but was relieved when she read about Stuart and Astrid.

“I was very curious about this Astrid. She’d cropped up again and again in John's letters home. Everything was Astrid this and Astrid that. Astrid was taking wonderful photographs of them, Astrid had such good taste- until I’d become quite jealous.”

Cynthia, 1994

“You know what I have written- carved- on a church in Hamburg? John loves Cyn. That was my first going out with her at the time. A church that overlooks just outside the Reeperbahn. But out right in town, and it's got a big green tower that you can walk up in. And we all carved our names on there. You can have a look. There will be John & Cyn, Stu & Astrid, Paul & *what the hell was that girl at that time? I think Stu & Astrid is up there but I know John & Cyn is. We stuck our names up there with whoever we were hanging on then.”

John, 1975

*The girl was Dot Rhone. And unfortunately, I heard the carved names are now long gone.

“I loved his mentality, not because I thought he was a sexy boy. That was reserved by me for Stuart, whom I adored and fancied right from the start. John was pleased for Stuart. Also, John told me he had left his girlfriend at home in Liverpool, so that was that.”

Astrid Kirchherr, 1985

“John and I would go and have a couple of quiet beers, just to sit down and chew the fat. And he’d talk about Cynthia and how much he missed her.”

Pete Best

In late November of 1960, the Beatles wanted to break their contract to play at another club with better pay and living conditions. But it was discovered that George was underaged, so he got deported. Paul and Pete got into trouble by lighting up a condom that ignited a fire in the club with some damage. They were thrown in jail before being deported back to England. John drifted around and eventually returned back to England, arriving late one night. Cynthia came over the following day. He kept a low profile before getting in touch with Paul, George, and Pete. Stuart stayed in Hamburg with Astrid. They regrouped and started to play at the Cavern on a regular basis in between trips to Hamburg, including the Casbah, the Jacaranda, and other clubs near Liverpool.

“Well, it was something that you didn't sort of go to see the first appearance of the Beatles together. We all drifted into it from before. Before the Cavern, they played at the Jacaranda. So we had a sort of build up to the Cavern. It wasn't the first time I’d seen them. I’d seen them in all sorts of situations, ridiculous places. They were trying to earn a crust, earn some money. That was when they were students. And then of course when they started to expand and improve, then watching them in the Cavern was no different for me than seeing them starting out. For other people it was amazing. They were rough. They were rugged. They didn't give a damn about anybody. They just blew away everybody, compared to all the rest of the music that was going on at the time.”

Cynthia

Cynthia and John in Hamburg, April of 1961

Photographed by Astrid Kirchherr

The Beatles managed to get back up to Hamburg to continue their reign. This time around, John wanted Cynthia to come up to visit him during her Easter break from college. Cynthia remained a student while John basically left, abandoning his studies. John was still jealous and possessive of Cynthia. Cynthia and Paul's girlfriend Dot traveled by train after being dropped off by Lillian and Paul's father Jim McCartney, with sandwiches and water. During the ride, they stayed in the train during rest stops because they were afraid to miss the train because of the foreign language. Cynthia and Dot arrived in Hamburg very late at night/early hours of the morning; John and Paul, wired from excitement, alcohol, Preludin pills, and lack of sleep, greeted them at the station. John and Paul took the hungry girls for breakfast before settling in. Dot stayed at a houseboat owned by the Hamburg barmaid who befriended the Beatles while Cynthia stayed with Astrid.

“Our weeks in Hamburg with Stuart and Astrid and the rest of the boys were so special. It was a brilliant, exciting time. Everything seemed to be exciting then.”

Cynthia

“Anyway, we strolled back to the Top Ten Club and as we arrived outside, a little Volkswagen pulled up beside us and a beautiful girl got out. Slim and graceful, she had very short blonde hair, perfect features, and her clothes were sleek and elegant. I studied them discreetly… I was impressed and when Astrid spoke the effect was even more charming. She spoke English with a German accent to which had been added a twang of Liverpool. She was very sweet, she was always laughing and smiling and within minutes I forgot my fleeting jealousy. I liked her.”

Cynthia, 1994

Cynthia was very impressed by Astrid's home, her bedroom especially, with all black furniture and silver walls. In between his playing, John showed Cynthia the sights of Hamburg. On one (or more) occasion, Stuart, Astrid, John, and Cynthia went to the beach.

“It was when Cynthia visited John and I had the idea to take them out to the Baltic Sea for the day. We went in the morning and came back at night because they had to play then. It was just a beautiful day and they enjoyed it very much. That was the first time John and Cynthia had been to the Baltic Sea and they were having a lot of fun playing in the sand and having a swim in the sea and they were just like children enjoying themselves. Stuart and John played in the sand building little castles and things by the sea.”

Astrid Kirchherr

There were times when Astrid, Cynthia, and Dot went out themselves, doing girlie things and going through Astrid's wardrobe. Astrid gave Cynthia a blouse that she would later wear for her wedding to John by the following year. They would doll themselves up to watch their men play. There were a couple of times when John wanted Cynthia to stay with him overnight rather than going back with Astrid, squeezing into John's small bunk bed.

“But there were nights when the two girls trooped upstairs to our dormitory and on these occasions, George and I would be instructed not to claim our bunks until 4:00 in the morning. If the holiday-makers, weary of sightseeing, came into our quarters during the afternoon, George and I would be requested tactfully to look the other way. There was little to occupy Cyn and Dot once they had done the sights and visited the shops in the more respectable area of the city, guided by Astrid who drove them around in her grey VW beetle. In the evening, the girls had a choice of either sitting around in the T Ten and watching us 'making show’ with Tony Sheridan for 7 or 8 hours, or wondering off to the dormitory to escape the ear-splitting noise. When they did choose to take refuge upstairs, John and Paul would drift off during a session to visit them, then rejoin us on stage later.”

Pete Best

“Oh, that was brilliant, but again it was very violent and very dangerous. But then again, I had Astrid Kirchherr as my sort of escort. Astrid and Klaus who they met when they first went to Hamburg and became friends with, who were German and knew the ropes and knew everything. So when I went, I was well-protected. I had no problems. But the performances there were completely different to the performances in England. Obviously it was the Reeperbahn, where it was very rough and rugged… drugs, lots of murders. Sounds good, doesn't it? But they were also protected because they had people who lived around Hamburg. They had to perform every night of the week, 8 hours every night.”

Cynthia

“Right from the start in the Casbah, John was always very jealous whenever Cyn was around. If anyone tried to talk to her while he was playing, Lennon would try to wither them with a laser like glare. Once off stage, they would be abruptly told to fuck off. It was plain that night in the Top Ten that the two girls were now a little scared. At the end of the number, the heavy mob of Lennon and Best hurried down from the dais and sailed in to save them. In his usual blunt manner, John handed out a verbal lashing and for a few moments a nasty scene threatened to develop. 'Why are you butting in?’ one of the Germans asked arrogantly, sparring for trouble, which resulted some pushing and jostling. 'That’s my girlfriend you're messing about with,’ John snarled at him. The situation immediately began to cool and the apologies followed. The Germans explained that they thought the girls were simply British tourists looking for fun; what's more, they went on, they themselves were Beatle fans and would never think of trying to upset us. After the near-miss, the waiters, ever dutiful, made a point of hovering near Cyn and Dot like watchful guard dogs. There was never any more trouble after that one incident.”

Pete Best

“... Cynthia managed to join John during the Beatles’second German jaunt. He later told me that it was on her account that he once very nearly placed his own life in jeopardy. This uncharacteristic display of gallantry occurred in the throes of a Beatles performance at the Top Ten Club, when John spied a formidable looking gentleman in the act of pawing his Cyn. In a flash, heedless of the consequences, John threw down his guitar, leaped from the stage, grabbed a bottle, and cracked it over the skull of Cyn's admirer. To John's astonishment, his rival didn't even flinch but merely stared back, motionless and expressionless with the blood, glass, and booze spilling down his face. This apparition lasted a full minute, but the end of which John felt utterly unnerved, convinced he was looking death right in the eye. Yet when the wounded tough finally spoke, all he said was, 'I’m sorry I was annoying you.’ 'Well then,’ John snarled as menacing as he could under the circumstances, 'don’t do it again!’ Whereupon he stalked back onto the stage, desperately hoping nobody noticed he was shaking as he strapped on his guitar.”

Pete Shotton, 1983

“John took Cynthia with him for part of this second trip over Easter holiday in 1961. He had been bragging so much about it at home that he really had no choice but to take her along. I'm sure that Cynthia would have heard about the girl groupies from the others and from general gossip and excitement that surrounded the group, and that this probably strengthened her determination to be at John's side during the next trip. Tables were turned, however, with a singular incident in Hamburg’s Top Ten Club, when someone in the audience tried to attach himself to Cyn, while she was watching John play. In the middle of a number, John leapt right off the stage to hit the chat-up man who was trying to get close to his girl. He must have been wearing his glasses!”

Julia Baird

That's a good point Julia made… John was literally blind as a bat without his glasses on, how could he see who was making the moves on Cynthia? I can only guess that maybe Paul or George whispered to him or John can make out Cynthia's bright blonde hair and see shadows around his girlfriend or he has a radar sense of a guy interested in his girl.

When Cynthia returned back to Hoylake, her mother had news: Lillian was moving to Canada to act as a nanny for her niece's new baby. The Powell family home was to be rented out, which meant that Cynthia had to move out and fend for herself. She was being trained to be an Art teacher, being an assistant at a school while still attending Liverpool College of Art. Cynthia moved in with Mimi. John returned and they did not dare to be passionate under Mimi's roof. Maybe elsewhere, but definitely not Mendips. Eventually, when John went back to Hamburg, Cynthia found Mimi to be difficult to live with and moved in with her Aunt. It was across town which meant Cynthia had to take more than one bus to her destinations. She looked into the classifieds and found an apartment within her tight budget. It wasn't luxury but it was hers and Cynthia tried to make the best of it. Not surprisingly, John was thrilled. They could be together without pressure or interruptions, despite the No Overnight Guests rule (betcha Cynthia broke that one!) Soon, Cynthia's weird lady next door neighbor mysteriously disappeared, so Cynthia took over her apartment while Dot moved in Cynthia's. Since living with Mimi, Cynthia got a 'vacation’ job at Woolworth's, where John would pop in to say hello when in town.

“I became pregnant before I could finish my teaching. I did teaching for a while. Then I became pregnant and following the Beatles and everything else that happened. But, no, I haven't had a job. The work I had as a student was working in Woolworth's. On the perfume counter. The cosmetics counter. But, that was when I was a student during holidays…”

Cynthia

“I believe we are going to Berlin after Christmas, but don't mention this to Cynthia yet in case John hasn't told her, because in a letter he received today she says she can't wait for Xmas and him.”

Stuart Sutcliffe (in a letter to ex-girlfriend and friend, Susan Williams)

Astrid, Stuart, and Cynthia at the beach of the Baltic Sea, April of 1961

Photographed by John

By late 1961/early 1962, Stuart and Astrid got engaged after he quit the Beatles and enrolled into an art college in Hamburg. Paul and Dot were also engaged- even after a very close call of marriage and baby (more on that in another post). John did suggest getting engaged to Cynthia but nothing came of it. They were happy the way things were.

In April of 1962, Stuart died in the ambulance in route to the hospital in Astrid's arms. Stuart had been suffering headaches in the last couple months. He died of a brain hemorrhage. His body was sent back to Liverpool; Astrid stayed with Cynthia. On the day Stuart died, John, Paul, George, and Pete arrived and were greeted by a grief-stricken Astrid who told them the news. John was devastated.