Rest in Peace Cynthia

"Cynthia Lennon passed away today at her home in Mallorca, Spain following a short but brave battle with cancer. Her son Julian Lennon was at her bedside throughout. The family are thankful for your prayers. Please respect their privacy at this difficult time."

Cynthia in 2014

On the morning of April 1, 2015, Cynthia Lennon Charles died in her home in Spain. It was April Fool's Day and, yes, it was first thought to be a cruel joke… I wondered if Cynthia was aware of the date as she took her last breaths? Maybe she had a bit of a chuckle. It was also the same date that her ex-father-in-law Alfred Lennon died on. I honestly wanted to be a joke, maybe you and a lot of people did too. But the seriousness really poured in: it was officially on Julian's website and social media- most notably was the YouTube music video tribute. It was real. 

Cynthia lighting up John's cigarette at home in Kenwood, 1965

Photographed by Henry Grossman

For the majority of her life, Cynthia smoked cigarettes. As did John, as did the other three; George Harrison had both throat and lung cancer due to the excessive amount of smoking in the 1960s and it cost him his life. John continued to smoke up until his death- we would never know if smoking would've affected his health these days if he had lived. Paul and Ringo eventually quit at some point in the 1980s (as did George). At the time, you can smoke anywhere and everywhere from hospitals, restaurants, you name it. When they were dating, John used to smoke like a chimney but didn't like Cynthia to smoke- at the time, she was smoking two cigarettes a day. In the last 30 years or so, there was a realization that smoking cigarettes was bad for health. Cynthia's father Charles was also a heavy smoker and died of lung cancer in the summer of 1957 when Cynthia was only 17 and about to attend Liverpool College of Art.

“Of course, you can’t do it anywhere now. I’m going to have to wear the patches, I’m going to have to try. I could be an absolute druggy and I could be I don’t know how many feet under by now. But I’ve only this vice and the odd scotch. I’m okay so far.”

Cynthia, 2005

Cynthia was diagnosed with lung cancer in the beginning of the year, January of 2015. At that time, her discovery was too late; the cancer had already spread in her body. Time to get personal with a related experience: my grandmother died from lung cancer. She was coughing and coughing for several months and didn't understand why. At first, the obvious, maybe she was sick? Took medicine, stayed in bed. But no sniffles, no fever. Her energy was normal. Hmm? Maybe it's allergies? Dust? The Kleenex she was using to cough and sneeze? It took awhile for her to go to the last resort, the Doctor. She was diagnosed with lung cancer, and had spots on her liver (I don't think Cynthia had that). And, sadly, she couldn't do anything about it. My grandmother also was a smoker in the 1960s, 1970s. The cancer was wrapped around her esophagus/trachea area so much so that operation would not be ideal- a knick from the scaplel would've killed her. Grandma opted to die at home. Her energy level quickly went. It was in the Summer of 2006. In August, she gifted Mom and me a trip to Chicago for Beatles Fest and when returned, I went to see her to provide details and she laid down on the couch while dressed in shorts and t-shirt. She got completely bedridden by September, started to fade away in October, before passing away two weeks into November, missing eight days before her birthday. 

“My mum always said that you just kill people with kindness. There’s no need to be mean, nasty, or cruel to anybody. Mum was my rock. I didn’t handle it well at all. I threw myself into denial. I couldn’t believe that she was gone. The saddest words from her lips were, ‘I did this to myself.’ That was really hard to take. It was true to some degree. She was mostly comfortable until the last week. Then her body shut down. I don’t think she wanted me to witness her passing, I talk to her at night. She comes to me.This plane that we live on, this existence is the weirdest thing in the world, isn’t it? I’m in awe of it and overwhelmed by it every single day.”

Julian 2017

Now, it sounds like from Julian that Cynthia was quite active until the final week of her life, unlike my grandmother. I am guessing that her cancer's main place was not in the position that could be operated wasn't life threatening. If Cynthia had discovered her lung cancer early, then perhaps her life would've lasted longer. But hearing lung cancer… hate to be blunt but usually means you are out. It's rare to survive it but I personally can't think of who other than Alexis Davis on General Hospital, but that's a soap opera- people come back from the dead. Cynthia was a believer to heal herself before resorting to the Doctor, she admitted it in her first book A Twist of Lennon during her appendix pain. It's not really a surprise or shock that Cynthia waited it out until booking a Doctor appointment. Cynthia and Julian kept the news to themselves. Barely anybody knew! Not even May Pang. I highly doubtful that Yoko knew… maybe Sean knew? I'm iffy on that… a (half) brother should tell his (half) brother that his mother was dying, right? Maybe Yoko did know? That's why I am doubtful. Definitely Paul, Ringo, and Olivia didn't know. There were rumors of Cynthia's ailing health after her husband Noel Charles died in 2013, it got too persistent that Julian had to post on Facebook that his mother wasn't ill at all. Between Noel's and her death, Cynthia only did one interview (in 2014, just before she was diagnosed) and one public appearance for Julian's White Feather Foundation Gala. Cynthia had made it very clear around 2010 that she was done with the Beatles/John Lennon shadow and it was around the time Noel was diagnosed with prostate cancer. From her last interview, Cynthia was rejuvenating herself as an artist, working on her artwork and be seen as an artist.

Julian, Princess Charlene of Monaco, and Cynthia at The White Feather Foundation Charity Ball on May 10, 2013 in Monaco. 

This was Cynthia's first public appearance after her husband Noel Charles' death and her last public appearance. 

From what I gathered on Julian's social media over the last few years, Cynthia continued her art, she also packed up her belongings for Julian to take and inherit while leaving notes for him to find, including two white feathers, and eventually got hospice with a hospital bed in her home. Since her diagnosis, Julian rarely left her side, they joked, talked, spent time together, laughed, serious talks, whatever you do in the remaining moments that they had left. Not one to give up hope, Julian searched for treatments, some he never heard of. It does open a whole new world in the medical field and get educated more than you ever thought about. I don't think Julian stayed at her home though… would think so, but guess not as Julian left the night of March 31st and returned 15 minutes after she passed away. Cynthia must have died in the morning, considering it was late morning on the same day when I heard the news; there is a six hours difference between Florida (where I live) and Spain (where Cynthia lived). Despite the statement that he was by her side, Julian didn't witness her passing. When he told her that he'll see her tomorrow, she replied, "All right, love," but..

“It was sort of a resigned response. I felt something was different.”

Julian, 2017

Those were their last words to each other. To be fair, none of the family witnessed my grandmother's passing either. My mom was there but went to the grocery store to get lunch for herself and the two hospice nurses, my Aunt was driving on her way to see Grandma, my Uncle and I were at work, my cousins were in school, my Grandfather and his wife (my grandparents were divorced) were in their second home they had recently bought in North Carolina and immediately drove back to Florida after receiving the death news. I believe both my grandmother and Cynthia were aware of their surroundings, who were with them (in my grandmother's case, two hospice nurses), and decided to leave Earth behind so their children wouldn't see it. Olivia and Dhani saw George leave. Paul, Heather, Mary, Stella, and James saw Linda leave. Ringo, Zak, Jason, Lee, husband Isaac, and mother Florence saw Maureen leave. I'm not saying it's not fair, I believe it happened for a reason. I don't really regret not being there, it was hard enough to watch beforehand. The next and last time I saw my grandmother was at her memorial service in a coffin before being cremated. Cynthia was cremated and her ashes were given to Julian; on September 19, 2017, Julian decided it was time to let go of his mother to spread her ashes. Half were planted in the New Jacaranda trees in Julian's yard in Monaco that she loved and the other half was scattered into the sea. Understandably, Julian took his mother's death hard- he is a Mama's boy and those two were as close as they could be. Even today, Julian is still struggling. I think he will always struggle, to be honest. Look at Linda's four children, for example: you can still see them mourn after over 20 years. But the worst thing about it? Cynthia died seven days before her son's birthday. Ouch! 

Julian made one public appearance during his mother's illness at his Horizon photography exhibition at the Emmanuel Fremin Gallery on March 11, 2015 in New York City. Little did we, the public, know that Cynthia was in Spain dying. 

What was I doing on April 1, 2015 when I heard the news? Well, it was late morning and I was doing what I am always doing: Picture of the Day for both The Beatles Wives & Girls (BW&G) and Children of The Beatles (links on the side here ➡) for Instagram. Because it was April, I was prepping for Linda McCartney tributes. I glanced at Julian's posts on Instagram: there were pictures of candles and of his mother but no captions, so I thought how sweet yet a bit odd… maybe Julian was fooling around with Photoshop? Then I saw a comment mentioning Cynthia's death. That caused me an internet search frenzy to find out if this was true or a cruel joke. The news was just breaking at that moment and spreading. It was true. My heart broke. My favorite wife of the Beatles had died. As for BW&G, although Maureen and Linda had died, it happened way before the Facebook page as it started in 2010. It was our first death experience to deal with. Everything to do with Linda immediately went out the window except for the 17th. I quickly scraped together a month long tribute on Instagram dedicated to Cynthia. Then I had to go to work. Wasn't easy, I couldn't call and say that I was in mourning over someone I never met, I was tempted but knew it would be ridiculous if I were in the office's shoes. Honestly, I didn't know what to do, there was no warning. Of course, I didn't expect Julian to call me to give me a heads up. It's a miracle that I managed to put together a tribute.

Paul, Ringo, Barbara, Olivia, and Dhani last saw Cynthia in 2006. Julia Baird, John's sister, last saw Cynthia in September of 2014. May last saw Cynthia in 2014. Not really sure on Pattie, but the last known get together was in 2010 with Julian, Yoko, and Sean; same for Yoko and Sean. 

Cynthia in 2014

"The news of Cynthia’s passing is very sad. She was a lovely lady who I’ve known since our early days together in Liverpool. She was a good mother to Julian and will be missed by us all, but I will always have great memories of our times together."

Paul McCartney, 2015

"I'm just really sad that she passed so suddenly. It's a sad time. I hadn't spoken to her for a little time."

Pattie Boyd, 2015

"Sending our love and deepest sympathies to dear Julian Lennon. May God bless Cynthia always. Love,"

Olivia and Dhani Harrison, 2015

"Peace and love to Julian Lennon God bless Cynthia love, xx" 

Ringo Starr and Barbara Bach

"Words fail me... now she has her Angel wings....RIP Cyn. You are loved." 

Cynthia. From the Greek referring to The Moon Goddess Artemis. OUR beloved Cynthia saw her fair share of the dark side of the moon thru the tornado that was the Beatles, but she also had her sunshine always in her heart. Julian. Jules, you are her blessing, her legacy and her artistic talents, love, light, sharing and nurturing nature live on in you. After reading my essay The Chemistry of Lennon & McCartney she rang and asked me if I had 'swallowed a dictionary', and we reminisced about John & Paul’s 'pH balance' that brought the world so much music and so many memories. The last time we spoke, a few months ago, at least I made her laugh. Some silly Scouse joke about 3 blokes in a pub, but she laughed that unmistakable laugh of hers, a quiet, low giggle, still with the charm of the schoolgirl that met John Winston in Art School and then said, in her unique velvet voice 'Oh Luv, you can take the girl out of Liverpool…' God speed, dance with Noel tonight and save us a seat near the stage…"

Ruth McCartney, 2015

"Cynthia Lennon (1939-2015) R.I.P. We'll miss you! Our thoughts and our love and our prayers go to Julian at this difficult time."

Sean Lennon, 2015

"I would be walking down to the Liverpool Institute, while they were walking up to the Art College. I would say ‘Hi, John’ and ‘Hi, Cynthia’, and they would answer to the postbox because they were both as blind as bats without their glasses, and you wouldn’t wear glasses because you were too proud. She was the Wirral girl from Hoylake, and she’d always be around in some of the pictures I took as John was her fella in a group with my brother. That’s how I knew of her existence. After they divorced, she moved back up here, and my ex-wife used to cook in a restaurant Cynthia had in Ruthin in North Wales. The last time I saw her was in Vegas when the Love show was launched, when she was there with Julian. She hadn’t changed at all- she was basically a shy girl, dead straight, rather on the serious side. She was a lovely girl and I’ve got good memories of her. It’s very sad.”

Mike McCartney, 2015

For the month of April, John's estate social media (Facebook and Twitter) had a cover photo of Cynthia from Julian's website featured as a tribute. 

As for Yoko's statement? Well, it's going to have it's own post… to be continued.