Family Road Trip

June 22 - July 2, 1969

Kyoko, Yoko, Julian, and John relaxing in the yard of Corbett Arms Hotel in Tywyn, Wales on June 23, 1969

Since I've been referencing the Scotland car crash a lot lately in recent posts, might as well make a post about it!

One day at Tittenhurst Park, with Julian and Kyoko visiting over the weekend, John and Yoko spontaneously decided to take a family road trip up to Liverpool and Scotland. The plan was to visit family members and for John to show his new wife and children where he grew up. John used to go to Scotland as a child during school holidays with the Stanley family getting together. Fun, right? Well, there's a big mistake in John's idea: he never told Cynthia about it. I don't know if Tony (Kyoko's father) knew, but certainly not Cynthia. We'll get to more of her part later on. Another mistake: letting John, a known terrible driver, to drive. He had a chauffeur, Les Anthony, but John probably had an enthusiasm to be a normal family man to take his wife and children on a road trip. I think John meant well, and it's not often Julian and John went out on vacations. If Cynthia had known, I'm sure she would have approved but would insist Yoko to drive instead. Did Yoko ever drove? I never thought much of that, to be honest. I don't think I have ever seen Yoko behind the wheel? Anyway, it sounds to me that John had Julian for a week over the Summer (it could've meant to be a longer visit if John hadn't crashed). Julian must have arrived at Tittenhurst Park either on a Friday evening of June 20th or Saturday morning of June 21st as the family hit the road on June 22nd. I should also point out that Yoko was pregnant with their second child (their first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage); not sure how far along but I recall that John and Yoko were planning to name the baby (boy or girl) Amsterdam. Okay, so the baby may have conceived during John and Yoko's first Bed In peace protest in late March of 1969 in Amsterdam (their second one in Montreal was in late May, early June with Kyoko with them; they came home in time for Julian's visit)... so, Yoko was approximately three months pregnant. 

John, Yoko, Julian, and Kyoko on the driveway of Aunt Harrie and Uncle Norman's home in Liverpool on June 26, 1969

John, Yoko, Julian, and Kyoko started off their journey on June 22, 1969 from Ascot. Their first stop was Tywyn, Wales which was about a four and a half hours of driving. They stayed at the Corbett Arms Hotel overnight; from what I read, they had hotel reservations. After relaxing, resting, and eating, the family continued up to Liverpool, about two and a half hours of driving on June 23rd. They first visited John's Aunt Nanny in Rock Ferry to spend the night before going to Aunt Harrie in Woolton. Nanny attempt to feed them a meal but John and Yoko declined due to their macrobiotic diet. However, Nanny's son Mike's girlfriend had a bag of jelly beans- John indulged a handful of few until Yoko told him off. A similar thing happened at Harrie's house: she thought John looked incredibly thin and made them a dinner of roast leg of lamb, mint sauce, roast potatoes, vegetables, and apple pie with cream pudding. But Yoko told Harrie that she and John don't eat that and proceeded to cook their macrobiotic meal of steamed vegetables with Tamari sauce and brown rice. Both Nanny and Harrie were put off by Yoko; John's latest antics of Bed Ins with Yoko wasn't doing well by them; it wasn't a "pro-Cynthia, anti-Yoko" situation, just two completely different worlds collision. Yoko talked a lot about philosophy of Zen to Uncle Norman. I'm pretty sure there was tension in both houses. John's sister Julia was living in Belfast, Ireland, newly married and recently welcomed her first child; he called her up from Harrie's house and they caught up. 

John, Yoko, Julian, and Kyoko visiting Holbrook Special School on June 26, 1969 in Liverpool

While in Liverpool, John showed Yoko and their children the houses he lived in, where his mother lived in, going to Woolton, Penny Lane, probably driving by the Cavern as welJulianrie did note to Julia that John and Yoko seemed very much in love: sitting on the sofa, holding hands, and talking for hours, perhaps reminiscent of when John did that with Cynthia a decade ago. After John, Yoko, and the kids left, Yoko left behind two blouses that Harrie saved for Julia when she came by months later to introduce her baby son to the family; the blouses didn't fit Julia, she didn't realize Yoko was petite. They were in Liverpool for about three days. The day of their departure for Scotland, John, Yoko, Julian, and Kyoko visited Holbrook Special School, meeting with schoolchildren and facility. During this visit, John decided to change the Mini Cooper he was driving to his Leyland Austin Maxi, which Les Anthony drove up to deliver and brought the Mini Cooper back home in Ascot. After the school visit, the family drove up almost 5 hours to Edinburgh, Scotland where Julian and Kyoko got matching Scottish kilts.

John, Yoko, Julian, and Kyoko in Edinburgh, Scotland.

Between the dates of June 27th until the morning of July 1st, the family drove around Scotland: Edinburgh, Durness (where Aunt Mater lived), and Tongue Village. They stayed with Mater, where a similar thing happened at Harrie's: Mater made dinner but John and Yoko declined. Once again, Yoko made their macrobiotic meal. Although this time around, Mater didn't hold back. She said exactly what was on her mind. At one point, John told Mater that he was going to take Julian away from Cynthia. Why? Probably due to Kyoko's custody fight that wasn't settled in Yoko's divorce, John got inspired to do the same. Mater was furious! She defended Cynthia, John had no reason to take Julian away from his mother, and told John to get that idea out of his mind. By the morning of July 1st, John couldn't take it. Angrily, John and Yoko left with the children in tow. The weather wasn't all that great and when John spotted a tourist driving pass him, John panicked, lost control of the car that ended up in a ditch. Up to that point, John was actually doing a good job behind the wheel without any mishaps. I just hope he didn't drive in the dark! Anyway, John, Yoko, and Kyoko were unconscious. Julian managed to get out of the wreck and waited on the roadside for help. Luckily a passerby saw Julian and the car accident and called for help. They were all taken to Lawson Memorial Hospital in Golspie: John had a bad cut on his face that received 17 stitches. Yoko injured her back and also had a cut on her face, receiving 14 stitches. Kyoko had a small cut on her face, getting 4 stitches. Julian had no injuries and was treated for shock. He was also able to be released from the hospital. Mater heard about the accident and went to pick up Julian. Despite being pissed off at his Aunt, John granted permission for Julian to be with Mater. 

"He used to have an Aunt in Glasgow, which we used to visit. Now I can't remember her name for the life of me, really can't. We used to go up there and she used to cook homemade flapjacks and all kinds of things. That was when we had the accident. Well, I don't know where we were going - no idea. We were probably already there, I think we'd seen her already and we'd been down to the local town and all bought kilts, respective kilts for respective names, I guess, I don't know. The actual accident, all I remember is sitting in the backseat with Yoko's daughter Kyoko, and driving down a long and winding road, the sun was just about setting. I don't recall how it happened - it felt like possibly we were going around the corner a wee bit too fast but I'm not sure, I couldn't say. The next thing I remember is the car - actually opening my eyes in the car, still picture it being upside down on its side. It's funny, because only just a couple of seconds before that had I decided to kneel on the floor behind Yoko - you know where you put your feet just behind the seat. So I crunch up there to think I was going to try and go to sleep, I think that's what I was doing. When I actually woke up, Dad was unconscious, blood everywhere. Yoko was out. Kyoko - I don't even recall seeing her in the car, she was there. I crawled out of the car and got up onto the road. There was a milestone there, some kind of information stone. Before that, I couldn't raise life out of anybody, you know, there was no sign of life, so I didn't know what to do. Basically I just sort of sat on the milestone and cried, because we were in the middle of nowhere, in the middle of the mountains. I was fine, didn't have a cut, nothing. Well I sat on the milestone and eventually some people drove by and they saw what happened obviously. I remember the ambulance arriving. I remember sitting in the back of the ambulance with purple windows, going with the siren on. I was lying down on the left hand side and the ambulance was just going as fast as they possibly could. The next thing I remember is waking up with pajamas on with a bowl of cornflakes in my hands and directly in front of me was Dad, with a big bandage and channel thickens. Yoko was behind the screen. I was allowed to get up and walk - I actually went over to see what happened to Yoko. She just had this incredible dent in her forehead which was scary as hell. I recall Kyoko being on the side, something bad had happened to her. They really had to do some surgery to stitch some of her face. Then I remember my Mum arriving, driving up there because I just told Mum that I was going to Tittenhurst for the weekend and the next thing she hears on the radio is that Dad's in a car accident with his wife and son, etc. I just remember helping into the car that was it, went to London."

Julian 

John, Yoko, Kyoko, and Peter Brown at Inverness Airport in Ireland after being discharged from the hospital on July 6, 1969. Julian already left with Cynthia a few days before.

Meanwhile, in London, Cynthia had no clue that her ex husband took their son up to Liverpool and Scotland. She found out about the car crash from the television news. Cynthia was livid! I don't blame her at all. John didn't tell her, nor did he tell her through third party (usually Peter Brown), about the family trip. Cynthia immediately embark on her own adventure to bring her son home. Peter arranged Cynthia for a flight to Edinburgh... only except Cynthia and Peter realized too late that they were on the wrong flight, to Belfast, Ireland! Because of the urgency and anxiety, they didn't realize the mistake until after the fact. So, at the airport in Belfast, they caught the flight to Edinburgh, arriving the following day, July 2nd. Cynthia and Peter then took a long taxi ride to Golspie, arriving at the hospital. The hospital informed her that Julian wasn't hurt and was released in Mater's care. Meanwhile, John and Yoko refused to see Cynthia; instead John passed a note to her regarding Yoko having trouble with Julian's behavior. That pissed off Cynthia (I already written about that), but the most important thing to know was his condition and whereabouts. Cynthia called Mater, who confirmed Julian was with her. Cynthia went there, another long drive in the taxi for 50 miles, to find Julian tucked in a blanket drinking hot chocolate. Mater unloaded on Cynthia with these tales of Yoko's macrobiotic diet and John's plan to take Julian away from her. Julian and Cynthia spent the night at Mater's before flying back to London the following day. Cynthia was still pissed off at John but realized nothing was going to change. Peter stayed with John, Yoko, and Kyoko to take them home to London after getting discharged from the hospital. I'm not sure how long after, but the stress of the accident and the injuries Yoko got caused a miscarriage. When John returned to The Beatles to record Abbey Road, John got Yoko a bed to rest on and a microphone hanging for her to make her input, much to the baffled dismay from his band mates. 

Volume I: John and Julian 1963-1971

Julian and John at home in Weybridge, 1965

Photographed by Cynthia

Another one of those posts that will make you (and me) slightly cringe. Okay, let's be completely honest here: out of the Beatles of being the best father, hands down John would be at the bottom of the list. He did get better the second time around with Sean: John was older, at home more, and more control over his career. But, this isn't about Sean, nor nothing against him either; this is strictly between John and Julian and the relationship will be divided into three volumes.

I: 1963-1971

II: 1974-1980

III: After John's Death

Please bear with me, too. Not everything was easy to research and write, especially knowing the strain that these two went through… especially part 2 and 3.

As mentioned before, pregnancy of Julian was an oopsie and kept secret away from fans until late 1963/early 1964. His parents had to get married just as John's career with the Beatles blasted off to a new world of fame. It took John away for most of the pregnancy and his birth; it took three days for John to finally meet his son. He is the only Beatle to do so: John was present for Sean’s birth, Paul was there for Mary, Stella, James, and Beatrice. Ringo was there for Zak, Jason, and Lee. George was there for Dhani. More so because John's marriage and Julian's birth were kept a secret and Brian Epstein was determined to keep it that way. That being said, John wasn't the only celebrity to miss his child’s birth, so I don't think it's really fair to scold him for it. It was what it was, so let's move on…

“Ninety percent of the people on this planet, especially in the West, were born out of a bottle of whiskey on a Saturday night, and there was no intent to have children. So ninety percent of us- that includes everybody- were accidents. I don't know anybody who was a planned child. All of us were Saturday night specials. Julian is in the majority, along with me and everyone else. Sean is a planned child, and therein lies the difference. I don't love Julian any less as a child. He's still my son, whether he came from a bottle of whiskey or because they didn't have pills in those days. He's here, he belongs to me, and he always will."

John, 1980

“Years later he said something in an interview which was to hurt me very much. He told Playboy magazine: ‘Julian was born out of a bottle of whisky on a Saturday night.’ John was with Yoko Ono then but I was still offended and so was Julian. It was so untrue. I could tell that John said it to impress the interviewer but it still hurt. For a start we didn't even drink whisky in those days but the worst part was the implied denial of our love. We were very much in love and very happy- Julian truly was a love child.”

Cynthia, 1994

I agree with Cynthia and Julian here. That comment by John of Julian being a product of a Whiskey bottle was, and still is, hurtful. I don't care if the current wife was sitting next to him or not, John didn't really have a filter or had any ability to be considerate to his son’s feelings. The only thing I do like about the quote is the last part: He's here, he belongs to me, and he always will. John did kind of tried to do damage control by saying that Julian wasn't the only accident- he mentioned himself as an accident. John did have a valid point, yes, I too was an accident, but unlike John, my mother never said anything of it to make me feel hurt.

“During the early years when the Beatles were making it big, I led a real bachelor's life, even after Cynthia and I were married. I mean, I knew I had a wife and small child at home, but I didn't want the responsibility. It's like Julian is a semi-orphan, and I was, too.”

John, 1979

“I think it was all too much for him. And The Beatles' success was too much too soon in many respects. What happened career-wise was an explosive moment in his life. Then finding out what it meant to have a wife and kids as well… I don't think he could deal with the responsibility. He wanted to have fun, is what he would say."

Julian, 1999

“In those days, if your girlfriend got pregnant, it was quite simple- you got married. John wasn’t happy about the baby, although I knew he began months later to really love Julian. But the fact that he had to marry was disturbing to him. His decision to go to Spain, although very selfish, was a ‘fuck you’ to all the things that were happening to him. It’s kind of ironic because months later at a West End pub called the Speakeasy, we were chatting after a recording session. Both of us sensitively talked about our infant children, and how good it felt to be fathers. John loved Julian, but he didn’t love the circumstances surrounding his birth.”

Tony Barrow

Alright, I can buy that. Yes, Julian's arrival wasn't in the best time frame in that point in John's life. As I pointed out many times already, his career was happening! A record deal, more gigs turning into tours, going to more places outside of Liverpool and Hamburg, television appearances, radio appearances, photo shoots, songwriting, recording, nightclubbing, women and girls throwing themselves on these handsome gentlemen, and being the age of 22 years old. Heck, when I was 22, there was no way I was ready to be a parent and I knew it despite having maternal instincts. However, unlike John, I have no musical talent in my body to succeed. But I can definitely relate to being 22, the world became a playground to explore without holding a parent/guardian’s hand. John was not ready to settle down but didn't have much of a choice. Well, he did… he could have said, ‘screw this Cynthia, you are on your own’, and leave. But John didn't. Maybe he didn't want Cynthia to suffer the consequences of being a social outcast or maybe he couldn't bear the idea of another man raising his child. If Julian had been born in 1964, 1966, perhaps John's frame of mind in 1980’s Whiskey comment wouldn't exist. More importantly, I believe John did not want to end up doing what his father did: not be there for him growing up. I do believe in my heart of hearts that John was determined not to be like Alfred, but of course, he did become like his father.

“To be perfectly honest, we were too young. But who was to know then that The Beatles were going to become the biggest thing since sliced bread? John was whisked away from us so that he couldn't fulfill his father's role.”

Cynthia, 1999

Julian and John at home in Weybridge, 1965

Photographed by Henry Grossman

I like to believe that John tried his best with Julian when he was home. But John also wanted 'me’ time while at home to read newspapers and watch TV, to be able to relax, sleep, and forget that he’s famous and in high demand. However, Julian was a baby and toddler in those years, wanting attention and company. John did often take Julian out to Ringo's house, 10 minutes away. I don't think John really took Julian elsewhere like to the park, or go shopping and walk around in case John would get mobbed by fans- that was always the big concern. While on tour (I will get in depth with touring in another post), John would call home almost every night and talk in baby talk to Julian. He would also buy things along the way and fans would give John something for Julian. Many years later, Julian would admit his jealousy of witnessing John spoiling Sean while visiting in New York City; perhaps he was way too young to remember that while John was living with him in Weybridge, John did indeed spoil Julian! He also had his own big room in a mansion out in the Surrey country. Cynthia frequently confirmed on how whenever John went shopping, he would come home with endless gifts including toys that were too old for Julian and be put away for when he becomes the proper age. While recording, touring, or filming, John missed most of Julian's growing milestones, like first steps, first word, first this, first that, growing a couple of inches taller. I am sure that did hurt John deeply enough that when he had Sean, he didn't want to miss those milestones. When Julian became a musician himself and experienced the recording and touring grueling hours, he understood John a lot more better, like an 'oooooh I get it!’ to explain why John wasn't able to watch Julian grow up.

“When Julian was small, we all gathered at Mimi's because John was there. We sat for years listening to idle chit-chat. But this time we were really listening because John was there. I don't know what Nanny said to him, but John insisted that his child wasn't going to be a stuffed dummy, he was going to be a wild spirit! A couple of years later he was ringing Mimi, pleading, ‘Can you please take Julian and do something with him!’”

Julia Baird, 1986

“When he was home, John was a typical father. He couldn't stand changing nappies - I believed he got involved with that later in life - but he loved to watch bathtime. And when Julian went on the bottle, John took his turn at feeding him. he crawled about on the floor with his son and cuddled him just like any other dad. The only thing he couldn't do was take him for walks in the park, because even here, in the country, the fans found us”

Cynthia, 1994

“It was hard for him to come to terms with what was going on at home.”

Cynthia, 1999

“All I know was that he was away a lot. When he came home and we were together, I recall most of all the fun like flying a kite in the garden, or the riding on the back of Dad's motorbike down to Ringo's home. The rest of my childhood with Dad is a fog."
Julian, 1985

“I have a few pleasing images of him from before I was five, for instance, of him playing with me in the swimming pool and riding on the motorcycle down to Ringo's, but they are very distant memories.”

Julian, 1995

"But if Dad was going to be a musician, then he obviously had to be away from home a lot. Nobody is blaming him. I just missed him and wished he was around more"
Julian 1985

"John, as a father, was forced, I'm afraid, to be a part-time dad. For the first few years when we saw him, it was between tours and recording albums. He would sleep until late and be up until late, so when he saw Julian, he was lovely. Bemused, I think because he didn't quite understand that this little boy was his. As Julian got older, John became more emotional about being a father...I think he took a very strong look inside himself and saw what he'd been missing."
Cynthia, 1988

"My earliest memories of my dad were between the ages of three and five, swimming in the pool with him, just doing kid stuff. He used to sit me on the front of his bike in front of him and take me down to Ringo's once in a while, which was fun. I don't recall missing him when he was away on tours that much, because I was always preoccupied by my mother, school, and the fans at the gate, and whenever Dad came back, that was great. It was strange, but it didn't seem unusual because it was part of everyday life."
Julian

"This was serious business for him and he seemed determined that whatever was happening around him, there would be a time in his life for Julian. And there was also an intense regard for his wife, Cynthia. I mean, this was a young father who seemed determined to make sure that things were right. I know John was preoccupied by the insanity of the tour, but he was insistent there be time to make the call home and connect, connect with his wife and his son"
Art Schreiber, Radio Broadcaster

"Once while Cynthia was away with Mrs. Powell, I was staying in the house with Julian. I had put Julian to bed, but he was having an earache and was very upset. I put him to bed, but he was in so much pain, I sat up with him that night. When John came in quite late, he came along to Julian's room to see what was wrong. The light was on and I explained about the earache. John said, 'You got to bed, Dot, I'll stay up with him'. He was always concerned, like a good father. He was a good man."
Dorothy Jarlett, the Lennon's housekeeper

“I’ll keep looking at him crawling on the floor, thinking 'where did he come from?’”

John, 1965

"Well, I just want him to grow up happy. That's the main thing. Just love, that's the main thing you know. He's just going to be happy and know he's wanted. I'm not having any of that boarding school or sending him away. He's going to be with us all the time"  
John, 1965

"He doesn't owe me anything. I'll make life as easy for him as I can but it's no use me thinking what I would do if I was him because I'm not him and he isn't Little Me"
John

"I now take notice of other kids, and compare them to Julian. I think to myself, 'That's clever, I don't think mine can do that' or vice versa. A lot of people like having children for their old age, I just want them because I like them."

John, 1966

"I don't remember seeing him as a child. It was the height of the Beatle thing so I was working all the time, I never considered what it was doing to him, I didn't even count it. The mother was at home, I was away, like most guys at 24 or 25, they're too intent on their career really, you know"
John

“I bought him a slide but he’s got it already. He goes up and down on it but I’m always buying him things anyway. There are a few things stuffed away in the attic which he’s get. But Cyn takes care of it all”
John, 1965

“John used to play with Julian on his skateboard. When skateboards first came out in the 60s, they were quite small. Basically, it was just a board with roller skates. They used to play outside on the slope leading up to the house.”
Dorothy Jarlett

John and Julian at home in Weybridge, 1967

After John stopped touring in 1966, he wanted to be a proper dad to Julian, including putting him in bed with a bedtime story. In 1968, John and Cynthia's marriage crumbled into divorce- that topic will have a post of it's own. John had fallen in love with Yoko Ono and basically lost interest in his wife. During his wooing stage with Yoko during his divorce proceedings, John barely saw Julian from the time Cynthia took Julian to Italy (in May) when John took that opportunity to dump his wife for a new woman until some months later (around July) when John and Yoko came by to meet with Cynthia about their divorce. John only exchanged two words to Julian: hi (with a hug when Julian ran up to him) and bye.

Yoko, Julian, and John watching the Rolling Stones’ Rock n Roll Circus, 1968

It would take until December for John to see Julian again to take him to the Rolling Stones’ Rock n Roll Circus special. During that time period, John was doing heroin and there's no way in hell a child should be in that kind of environment; probably the best fatherly decision John ever made was to know that heroin and a child present do not mix. Then soon after, John married Yoko and settled in Tittenhurst Park, did the regular visitations came into play. In the agreement of the divorce, Cynthia was to have custody while John had weekend and school holidays visitation. I don't think John really liked that agreement… one of the things John told Magic Alex Madras to tell Cynthia that he had planned to take Julian away from Cynthia (and send her back to Hoylake… again, the divorce will be written in depth on it's own post) and in 1969 while in Scotland with Yoko, Kyoko, and Julian visiting his aunt Mater, he told her that he was going to fight for main custody but Mater told him no way. However, I think it was more to do with Yoko’s custody fight over Kyoko with Tony Cox; both John and Yoko envisioned their own world with their children, their exes disappeared from their minds, isolating themselves away from everybody and everything. Even the Beatles were losing top priority. No question that his parents’ divorce and his father's neglect affected Julian, scarred for life. I wouldn't be surprised if it affected enough of why Julian is still not married and certainly why he doesn't have children of his own.

“I do not think that Mr. Lennon showed the usual interest the father showed in the household. He was certainly not bad with Julian, but he appeared to be preoccupied with other matters… When Mr. Lennon was at home there were often rows during meals when John seemed to be too severe with Julian and criticised the way he behaved at table. Julian, who was a very sensitive child at the time would become upset and Mrs. Lennon would argue with Mr. Lennon about this. As a result there would be an argument about the way Julian was being brought up. Mr. Lennon would say Mrs. Lennon was too soft with him. I think that he was probably not enough with his son at my house owing to his profession to know how to handle him. Julian's table manners were if anything better than average. As a result he would often smack him.”

Dorothy Jarlett, 1968 in the Lennon's divorce papers

"It affected him severely. Julian had had a difficult life because he had a famous father that he seldom saw, but after the divorce it was worse because John and Yoko went to live in New York and we stayed in England."

Cynthia, 1999

"I always encouraged John to see Julian. I felt it would be positively cruel to keep a father from seeing his son.”

Cynthia, 1981

“It was hard for John to give space to a child, because he was more involved in growing up himself.”

Yoko, 1985

Yoko, Julian, and John in 1970

In 1970, after Cynthia got married to Roberto Bassanini, they had a housewarming party; John and Yoko attended. The next day, John came over on his own to see Julian, spending many hours in his room. Later, John came down and had a nice chat with Cynthia until Yoko called threatening to kill herself if John doesn't come home. Oddly enough, this day was not in any of Cynthia's books, nor in her six part Hello! magazine installments. I believe it's from Peter Brown’s The Love You Make (known as a trashy gossip book that tabloids would love; that being said, I do think there's some truth in it. I admittedly haven't read it in awhile but that visit stood out). Anyway, visitation scheduling mainly went through, speaking of the devil, Peter since John refused to speak to Cynthia and all seemed well until Cynthia got a call from Yoko.

"She said, 'John and I have decided that from now on I speak to you about Julian and he speaks to my ex-husband about my daughter Kyoko'. Then there was no contact for four years. Julian would watch TV and it would be, 'That's my daddy!' At school it was, 'My daddy is a Beatle'. But daddy wasn't having anything to do with him.”

Cynthia, 2000

[To John] “Part of the reason things got so bad was because with Kyoko, it was you and Tony dealing. Men. With your son Julian, it was women -- there was more understanding between me and Cyn. [To interviewer] For example, there was a birthday party that Kyoko had and we were both invited, but John felt very uptight about it and he didn't go. He wouldn't deal with Tony. But we were both invited to Julian's party and we both went. Or like when I was invited to Tony's place alone, I couldn't go; but when John was invited to Cyn's, he did go. So it was easier for Julian, because I was allowing it to happen.”

Yoko, 1980

“One rule for the men, one for the women.”

John, 1980

Sounds very ridiculous, doesn't it? And no, it wasn't easy for Julian or Kyoko and… Yoko was allowing it to happen? For John to go to Cynthia's alone? Ha! Well, John tried to dominate and bully Tony about Yoko's custody of Kyoko, which freaked Tony out because he was The parent, the one who stayed home with her while Yoko was doing her art shows and doing gosh-knows what else. I honestly don't blame Tony for doing what he did. Kyoko was his baby, he was mainly raising her, and they had a very close bond as did Cynthia and Julian. To have these two other parents that were absent majority of the time threatening to have main custody and give their exes limited access to the children with the money they had? Cynthia wrote in her 2005 book John that if he did that to her, Cynthia would definitely fight tooth and nail for her child- she was prepared for a fight. With that call Cynthia received from Yoko, she didn't agree: John was Julian's parent and that's who Cynthia wants to deal with when talking about Julian. I agree with Cynthia. But despite Cynthia's foot down, it came with a price: after that phone call in 1971, John didn't see Julian for three years.

Julian, John, Yoko, and a friend rowing a boat at home in Tittenhurst Park, 1971

Welcome to the World

Cynthia and Julian in Liverpool

Photographed by David Birch

Near the end of Cynthia's pregnancy, John was hardly home. He was on tour and his next break was for a few weeks at the end of April. John was calling home more frequent- maybe receiving more money now that The Beatles’ debut album Please Please Me was released and earning money from touring. Cynthia wasn't too sure on her due date; today we have more high technology than it was like in 1963. She was originally due in March but no baby despite having a few false labor. On April 6th, Cynthia went out shopping with Phyllis Mackenzie on Penny Lane. John was in Buxton, near Sheffield, about an hour and a half away from Liverpool- probably the closest he was to Cynthia during Julian's birth and was due to travel deep down south of England to Portsmouth the following day (the 7th). Now, remember, this was in 1963. The public did not know John was married, much less had a baby on the way. Everything was tip-top strict tight on exact schedule and John couldn't just say, “Bye! Off to be there for my wife!” plus not with Brian Epstein there tapping his watch and ordering the boys to go on stage for show time. There were also no cell phones, and even for a simple phone call, it was not cheap. I think things got somewhat looser in the 1970s or so where the father can be there for the birth of his child when rearranging schedule. But in showbusiness, the show must go on. In 1963, John certainly did not have that power nor did he had a say-so as he did in 1975.

“It was a bright Saturday early in April 1963 and Phyl wanted to go shopping. I was feeling a little strange as if something might happen, but the doctor had told me I probably had another 2 weeks to go so I thought it would be all right. Anyway, we took the bus to Penny Lane- which was a suburban center lined with small shops and the odd boutique as we called them then. We mooched about looking at baby clothes and giggling over the fashion garments that were impossibly small for me in my pregnant state. Phyl was just trying on a pair of shoes when I started getting these terrible stomach pains. They went off quite quickly but a few minutes later, there they were again. 'Phyl, I think we’d better get back to Mimi's,’ I said when I could catch my breath. 'I think something might be happening.’ Back in my room, we didn't know what to do for the best. The pains would go off for a while and then when I least expected it they’d come back. 'I think I’d better stay the night,’ Phyl said kindly. 'Just in case.’ The evening passed and we went to bed but by 2 in the morning the pains were back with vengeance. By now it was unbearable. 'You’ll have to phone an ambulance, Phyl,’ I gasped. Phyl began to panic. She was running around in her nightie, hair full of rollers, looking for the phone. 'What’s the number? What’s the number?” she called, fingers scrabbling with the dial. 'Oh, yes, 999.’ I heard her spelling out Mimi's address and soon afterwards the ambulance arrived. I picked up my pre-packed bag, Phyl dragged on her dressing gown and off we went in the ambulance without a glimpse of Mimi the whole time. She didn't emerge from upstairs. Perhaps she slept through the whole thing. At the hospital I was put in a wheelchair and whisked off to the maternity ward but Phyl was stopped at the door.”

Cynthia, 1994

Phyllis couldn't get back to Mimi's from the ambulance so she walked, trying to hitch a ride from a taxi. One stopped and allowed her to owe him fare to take her to Mimi's and went to bed until she heard Mimi vacuuming outside the door- a thing she would do to Cynthia to wake up, even on weekends, at 7 AM. Phyllis gathered her belongings and went back home, maybe filled Mimi in on what happened and where Cynthia was.

Cynthia in labor at Sefton General Hospital surrounded by patients and visitors in Liverpool

Artwork by Cynthia

“Up in the ward I’d embarked on a long, long labor. I was put next to another girl who was also having a difficult time. We were both given gas and air which made me groggy but caused her to flip completely. Suddenly, I heard her say, 'I’m going home to Mother.’ There was a rustling from her bed. 'I can't stand it,’ she added, 'I’m going…’ and then this bulky thing in a white nightie rushed past me and disappeared down the ward. I think they had quite a job getting her back.”

Cynthia, 1994

Before the mysterious girl left, she was unmarried while Cynthia was married but had to pretend to everyone that she wasn't. They both were getting dirty looks from other married patients and staff of nurses and doctors, maybe the janitor too. In time speaking, Cynthia was in regular intense labor pains from April 7th at 2 AM until she gave birth by 6 AM on April 8th, so in total around 28 hours of labor. It may have felt forever, I bet! As for the girl, a part of me wonders what happened to her? Where did she end up having her baby? Was it a boy or a girl? I guess we will never know!

“Julian was finally born at 6 AM on Monday, April 8. It was a harsh experience. By then I was so exhausted. I didn't think I could go on. 'If you don't push harder, your baby will die,’ they told me brutally. I did the best I could but Julian finally came into the world with the aid of forceps. When Julian finally arrived I was besotted. John was on tour but managed a fleeting visit on the third day. He was 6 lbs 8 oz and absolutely gorgeous. I was completely besotted. I couldn't get over the size of his little hands. Such miniature perfection was breathtaking. The only minor blemish was a mole on his head with hair growing out of it. Being a typical first time mum, I was embarrassed by this. I kept him in bonnets for a long time until his hair grew and covered it completely.”

Cynthia, 1994

This was the only time Cynthia mentioned that forceps were used in her HELLO! magazine special but nothing in her two books or any interviews or book participation.

“After 3 days on gas and air I was in a terrible state. I remember a nurse saying with a great Scouse urgency at the very end: 'If you don't push now, girl, he’s going to be dead.’ Not very nice, but it worked! It all seems such a lifetime away now, but it was worth every ache, groan, and anguish.”

Cynthia, 1999

“I was something like 3 days in hospital before Julian arrived and then he had jaundice, the umbilical cord was around his neck, and he had a very large mole on his head. He had to be left alone for 24 hours; I couldn't touch him. I was petrified about all these things. But I was scared more than anything about the birthmark, the mole. Knowing John's horror of deformities, I was absolutely panic-stricken about what John's reaction would be. When John came in, I decided not to hide it. I said: 'Oh he’s beautiful, wonderful, John, but he has this birthmark on his head.’ John replied, 'Oh it doesn't matter. His hair will grow over that.’ I was still bothered because I wanted the perfect child for John, but he couldn't have cared less. He was just thrilled, the typical father.”

Cynthia, 1985

The Beatles around the time John's first born son Julian was born

Three days? Many sources say that Cynthia went into the hospital by April 6th, which would make 2 days. Math time: Julian was born April 8… 8 - 3 = 5. So, technically speaking, Cynthia went shopping on April 4th, went into the hospital in the early morning hours on April 5th, spent the remaining 5th, then 6th and 7th in labor, in and out of consciousness due to receiving gas and air before giving birth in the morning of the 8th. Does that sound right to you? Or, to give the sources of April 6th a benefit of the doubt, Cynthia was groggy due to the gas and I am positive that being in labor before giving birth felt like eternity so it may have affected her mind. Of course, Cynthia must have documents of her hospital bill the provides the date she was admitted so, of course, she would know better than the sources. Mimi called Sefton General Hospital to check on Cynthia and the baby's arrival and visited once. John was still calling Mimi for updates and maybe called the hospital himself. But Mimi was the one who told John that his son was born; he was very happy but he couldn't come home right away. On April 8th, John was in Leyton with the Beatles and on the 9th, he was in London for a concert, and doing TV and radio appearances. It wasn't until the 12th that John was in Liverpool (or very late on the 11th after being in Middletown, which is close to Liverpool) due to appear at the Cavern. That morning, on the 12th, John dressed in a disguise and went to the hospital to see his son for the very first time. Before John's arrival, Cynthia was moved to a private room (thanks to Brian) but it had a window to see through. Some did recognize John in his disguise.

“A few did recognize me. 'There’s one of them,’ I heard someone shout, and I had to run for it.”

John, 1968

“John and Cynthia had stayed at Mendips throughout the winter and spring in their newly created ground floor flat. Julian was born 8 April 1963 in Sefton General Hospital where Jackie and I were both born. The birth was extremely arduous and Cynthia was exhausted. Some of the fans have heard about the baby, so she had to be moved to a private ward. Brian wanted the birth, like the wedding, to be a low-key affair. John couldn't come for a few days, as he was touring in the south of England, but when he did he was thrilled with John Charles Julian, to be known as Julian, for our mother. He picked him up, saying, 'Who’s going to be a famous little rocker like his Dad?’ and, 'He’s bloody marvelous, Cynthia!’ We all went round to Mendips to see the new arrival, the day that Cynthia arrived back from the hospital. None of us children had been to the hospital to see the latest member of the family. Mimi went, but no one else. So this was the first time that Jackie and I had seen our nephew.”

Julia Baird

Let's hold off on Cynthia and Julian’s homecoming for the moment. My mind is still in the hospital part.

Julian and John in the backyard of Mendips, Liverpool around Autumn of 1963 

“It was 3 days before John was able to visit his son. He’d been phoning Mimi’s every night to see how I was and she’d given him the good news. Flowers arrived but for 3 days I had to sit there on my own watching the other dad's coming in, until the Beatles’ tour come close enough to allow John a fleeting trip to Liverpool. I understood, of course, but at times I couldn't help feeling a pang. But on the 3rd day, it was all forgotten when the ward doors burst open and in swept John, black peaked cap pulled down over one eye, leather coat flying. Everyone stared and John stared back. 'You’re going to have a private room,’ he said, giving me a hug. Then he looked at the baby and he was over the moon. He couldn't get over the fact that this tiny little creature was his son. He picked him up in awkward hands and stared down into the impassive little face. It was a miracle...Brian presented us with the most beautiful Silver Cross pram- a real classy affair in pale grey- the sort you saw nannies pushing around Hyde Park. I’d bought a carry cot and a crib, Mum had knotted endless woolies, and Mimi had contributed the non-woolen outfits. So, despite his unplanned start, Julian arrived well provided for. A week after his birth, I took him home to learn how to be a mother and John went on holiday to Spain.”

Cynthia, 1994

John was home from the 12th (when he first saw Julian) until the 15th when the tour resumed and ended on the 27th when John went to Spain with Brian. According to Julia, John was home in Mendips when Cynthia and Julian arrived home by taxi. I guess it didn't occur to anybody for John to take them home, or maybe it did? John was already recognized at the hospital while visiting, so taking them home would have been much more suspicious. Also, John couldn't drive. If John saw Julian the 12th, then Cynthia may have been released by the 13th or maybe even the 14th. I recall her saying she was there for about a week.

“John was there, holding Julian, and so was Nanny. It was a welcome the baby gathering. When we arrived, they were all standing in a group by the morning room window, peering at him from this angle and that side. They said they could see John and Cyn in this sleeping bundle. He was the next new thing!”

Julia Baird

“I remember Cynthia coming home from the hospital and going into Mimi's morning room. Mater and Stan were there. We were all gawking at this baby. He was called John Charles Julian Lennon and he had a birthmark on his head. Of course it's covered by hair now, so perhaps I shouldn't say. When a child is born you can see a parent in them and to me he looked very like Cynthia.”

Julia Baird, 1986

“He was brought home immediately to Mendips, where we all gathered. My teenage recollection is that he squawked and never stopped crying, but he was the baby who brought all the family together.”

Julia Baird, 1998