After the Divorce

"People always want to remind me of the Beatles. They ask if I know what's happening to them, will they really get back together again. I say, 'You read the papers, you know as much as I do.' They can't understand that for me it's all over. It's been eight years since my divorce from John. That's a long time."

Cynthia, 1976

Unfortunately I can't say that after their divorce John and Cynthia remained friends (example: Ringo and Maureen, George and Pattie) or manage to co-exist for the sake of their child (example: Paul and Heather). John was the only divorce Beatle who wanted nothing to do with Cynthia; he was the type that once something is finished, it's finished and forgotten, out of mind, out of sight, move on… Well, same with Paul regarding Heather Mills, but to his credit, they do make it work for their daughter. Paul still treats his ex-wife better than John did. Because John died while Julian was still a teenager, we would never know if John could face Cynthia at Julian's graduation or wedding. I don't know if John knew he would have some kind of a relationship with Cynthia, after all they were forever tied together by their son. John did encounter Cynthia a few times after their divorce in 1968.

Instead of picking up/dropping off Julian at Cynthia's house himself (just as well since John was a horrible driver and with terrible sense of direction), Julian's visits were arranged through Peter Brown and transportation from chauffeur Les Anthony. Meanwhile, Ringo and Paul have had no problems going to their exes's homes to pick up/drop off their children.

Julian, Roberto Bassanini, and Cynthia after their wedding at Kensington Registry Office on July 31, 1970

In August of 1970, Cynthia and her new husband Roberto Bassanini hosted a housewarming party to celebrate their marriage. John and Yoko came, as did Paul, Linda, George, Pattie, Ringo, and Maureen. The Beatles were already broken up and had lawsuits flying in every direction, things were frosty yet John would rather talk to them than to Cynthia, who he mostly ignored in her own home and party. According to Peter Brown, the next day John contacted Cynthia to come over that day and spent many hours alone with Julian in his room. Afterwards, John came down, was in a good mood enough to have a chat with Cynthia over a cup of tea. Things were going well and hopeful until it ended when Yoko called being all suicidal- John quickly went home. Is Yoko psychic? How would she have known that John and Cynthia were chatting cordially? Do I think that if Yoko wasn't around and a different woman instead, would John and Cynthia have a cordial relationship? I like to think so. Or Yoko suck it up and let John and Cynthia communicate. 

Then, in 1971, John and Yoko decided that he would deal with Tony Cox regarding Kyoko and Yoko with Cynthia about Julian. Like that would work out! As it turned out, Cynthia said no to Yoko over the phone and Tony kidnapped Kyoko and lived anonymously in central America with rare minimal contact with Yoko (known twice, 1976 and 1980 by a telegram of condolences after John's death); Kyoko and Yoko reunited in the mid-1990s. 

"There were plenty of bad articles about John, and I worked very hard to keep them well away from Julian. But of course the parents of the other kids told them, and they passed it on to Julian in a garbled form. There was no way of protecting him completely, and he was getting very mixed up. As time passed and he didn't see his father I could see that the image of the human being that he'd known was vanishing in his mind, and being replaced by a voice on a record, a face on the TV screen, and a few muttered stories at school. But I couldn't do that because I knew how John had thought of his father all that time he was being brought up by his aunt. And when he finally met him, of course, years had passed, and his dad had grown older and wasn't at all the way John thought he'd be. I didn't want that to happen to Julian, so I talked to him about the past, and tried to make him remember his father as a person."

Cynthia, 1976

Julian and John posing for photographs with Cynthia and May Pang in the background outside the United Artists Recording Studio on January 10, 1974

Photographed by Peter Borsari 

In January of 1974, Cynthia heard that John and Yoko were separated and managed to get his number. Cynthia called, and to her amazement, John picked up! He was surprised to hear from her. Cynthia reminded John that he has a son that needed his father. At the same time, May Pang was encouraging John to reconnect with Julian. 

"It was a very strange period for John and Yoko and anybody who was working for them. You could feel the tension between them. One day, Yoko walks into my office and says, 'I’ve got to talk to you.' I’m thinking, 'I haven’t had my first cup of coffee yet.' She said, 'John and I are not getting along.' I said, 'I’m so sorry to hear that.' Meanwhile everyone could feel it. She said, 'You know, he’s probably going to start seeing other people.' Then I hear, 'Oh, you don’t have a boyfriend.' I said, 'What? I’m not interested.' She said, 'Oh, I know, I know, but I still think you would be good for him.' I said, 'I’m not interested.' One day, we were going to the studio for John’s recording session, and as we were leaving to get to the studio, in the elevator, all of a sudden, John leaned over and gave me a kiss. He said, 'I’ve been waiting to do this all day.' I said, 'What are you talking about?' What happened was, he’d liked me. When he started to pursue me, I kept backing off. Finally, he was more insistent than I had anticipated. It’s hard to resist someone after so long."

May Pang, 2017

"Also, he hadn’t seen his son Julian in three years, and I was able to get him to talk to Cynthia, his first wife, to have closure he never had. There was a lot of loose ends, and that closure was needed."

May Pang, 2017

“Julian and his father— he hadn’t seen him in three years. And so I worked awfully hard to rekindle that relationship and keep it going. I wanted to make it easy and I also arranged it so that Cynthia was in the picture; he hadn’t seen her either. They never had proper closure. I was just trying to make it all comfortable and easy so that everyone could move on."

May Pang, 2017

"Well, when May was with John for the 18 months, during that time I brought Julian over to stay with John and May, and I went off on holiday in L.A. But I wanted Julian to see his father and May was with him at the time and they got along beautifully. You know, we got on very well together. You know, when two people love the same person, it’s hard to describe, but it’s just that we get on very well together. And there’s no sort of bitterness or anything, and Julian loved May, and May was very kind with Julian, and so that’s how it evolved, came about."

Cynthia, 1982

Julian and John posing for photographs with Cynthia and May Pang in the background outside the United Artists Recording Studio on January 10, 1974

Photographed by Peter Borsari 

It was soon arranged for Julian and Cynthia to travel to New York. John paid for their tickets. John was jittery- it had been 3 years since he last saw Julian. Things have changed: especially Julian's growth from aged 7 to now 11. Cynthia and Julian traveled from England to America by boat, sailing, by coincidence, with Elton John, who was very impressed by Julian's mannerisms. John mostly dreaded seeing Cynthia… That being said, there must have been something as Cynthia attempted to smuggle England's specialty blood sausages that was difficult to find in America but it was confiscated by customs (May eventually found a butcher shop that sold blood sausages). John and May greeted Julian and Cynthia. For John and Julian, there were hugs and kisses. For Cynthia, John managed to be polite yet frosty by giving her a peck on the cheek. Then he turned his attention on Julian, the sole purpose of this trip, while mostly ignoring Cynthia. She was hurt but figured it was more important for John and Julian to reconnect. Cynthia was going to stay with Jenny Boyd but the plan fell through, so John put her up at a hotel. John and May went to Los Angeles, along with Julian and Cynthia. Once again, John ignored her but May and Cynthia bonded. In Los Angeles, Cynthia went to stay with studio session drummer Jim Keltner and his family. There was a day when John was going to take Julian out but he threw a major tantrum because he wanted Cynthia to come along. John wasn't too thrilled with the idea but Julian wasn't going to lighten up so he relented. Betcha John ignored her… yep, he did! Cynthia was literally dragging herself behind with the party, sad that John hadn't given her the time to sit down and talk. Mal Evans was part of the entourage and kept Cynthia company. Mal decided that John's behavior to Cynthia went far enough and arranged a gathering that would give John and Cynthia an opportunity to sit down and talk, relax. Thankfully, it worked and even Yoko's daily numerous phone calls didn't damper the mood. John and Cynthia talked about Julian, her divorce from Roberto, their friends, India (according to May), and… an idea of having another child… according to both John and May while Cynthia later claimed that was rubbish. But it may be very true as May wrote about it in her first book, Loving John, and John wrote about it in some letters to a relative, as well as an open letter to Cynthia when her book was being published. I do want to go deeper on the idea of another child, but it will be in a different post. Let's stick to their encounters after the divorce: All in all, John and Cynthia found satisfied closure to their relationship. The next time John saw Julian, Cynthia wouldn't have to come along- he would be under the care of a flight attendant.

That was the last time John and Cynthia would see each other.

"In 1972 I suddenly realized that Julian hadn't seen his father for three years. I felt something should be done about it. Maybe I should have left matters alone, but Julian had an image of his father on a television screen, and that was all. I thought that was terribly sad and possibly damaging to him. Other children he met could talk about their fathers, but he only knew his father as a Beatle. A few months later I took Julian over there, and I stayed with a friend while Julian had a holiday with his father. Since then their relationship has been beautiful. They talk a lot on the phone, there've been other visits, and he's going again this year. I believe now that John is completely off all drugs, has been off them for years, otherwise I'd never let Julian go. As it is, I'm easy in my mind."

Cynthia, 1976

"Just after we seperated John went to live in America for four years, with Yoko Ono. We didn't hear from him at all during that time, nothing. So I took Juilan to America so that he could get to know his father properly, and that's how we began to talk again. John couldn't handle the confrontation or the guilt. It did both of us good to talk again, and of course it was important for Julian because after that he could go stay with his father and they got close then."

Cynthia, 1996

"There were so many petty jealousies. I went there for Julian's sake but it was a very awkward situation for us all. It was certainly no holiday"

Cynthia, 2000

But the contact didn't end there. 

When Cynthia married John Twist in 1976, John (who reunited with Yoko and had a new child, Sean) sent a congratulatory telegram. Around the same time, Cynthia wrote to John regarding Julian's education fees to have her access the money easier rather than having to wait for John and Yoko's signatures. Luckily, John agreed.

I don't know if John and Cynthia ever spoke on the phone whenever John would call Julian. I believe they did and exchanged awkward pleasantries.

"Soon after the Beatles parted John and Yoko moved to New York and Julian's visits to his father petered out. Contact was difficult. John and Yoko had come to an arrangement whereby any matters relating to her daughter Kyoko from a previous marriage were dealt with through John and anything to do with Julian was handled by Yoko.Julian inherited John's musical ability.  He looks and sounds incredibly like him, too. Maybe it was wrong of me but I refused to talk to Yoko about Julian and in the end Julian managed occasional phone calls to John himself. But it wasn't a satisfactory state of affairs. I wanted Julian to grow up knowing his dad. At the moment the only time he ever saw him was on the television. My relationship with John had failed, I accepted that, but Julian would always be his son and I wanted them to be close. Then in 1973 I saw a chance to bring them together. I read in the papers that John and Yoko had split up and John was now living with a young Chinese girl called May Pang. So I wrote to him and asked if I could bring Julian for a visit. I found out later that John wasn't keen. He was fraught and nervous at this time and terrified of seeing me. He didn't want to be reminded of the past. But he did want to see Julian and May Pang helped tip the scales. She came from a close-knit Chinese family and she couldn't understand why John had not set eyes on his son for four years. So Julian and I went to New York. By now I was back in contact with Patti and Maureen and Patti's sister Jenny had by this time moved to New YOrk. The arrangement was that I would check into a hotel, John would collect Julian and take him off for a fortnight's holiday and I would go and stay with Jenny. Unfortunately though, to my embarrassment, the plans fell apart. Jenny was not at home when I phoned and I couldn't reach Patti back in England. John and May Pang arrived. John was very nervous and twitchy with me and he was quite thin but overall he was looking better than in his last pictures. He'd shaven off the beard and his hair was short which made him look much younger. He was civil but it was very awkward. But Julian was delighted to see his dad. He ran to him and gave him a big hug and once John's wariness had faded he was over the moon to see his son. There was a lot of hugging and kissing. As for me, it was very strange. Just being in the same room with John stirred up so many memories. I still cared for him, I couldn't stop caring for him but the old sparkle was gone. The physical attraction was missing. He'd changed so much he wasn't the same in my eyes anymore. As well as being my son, Julian has been a wonderful friend. 'Look, I'm terribly sorry,' I said after a few minutes, 'but I'm in a mess. I'm supposed to be staying with Jenny, it was organized by Patti, but Jenny doesn't seem to be there. I don't know what I'm going to do.' I felt terrible. I'm sure he thinks I've engineered it, I thought. But John was sympathetic. 'It's okay,' he said, 'We're taking Julian to Los Angeles. You can come with us, I'll put you up in a hotel and I can come and take Julian to Disneyland and everywhere.' So that's what we did but it remained a difficult situation. Like children everywhere Julian wanted his parents to be together and one morning when John arrived to take him to Disneyland he got very distressed. 'I want mummy to come,' he insisted. He wanted to go but he didn't want to leave me. He clung to me and sobbed and it was very awkward. In the end I went too but it was awful. I felt I was muscling in and the atmosphere was polite and strained. Julian fortunately was blissfully unaware of the grown-ups' hang-ups and had a ball. And May Pang was wonderful. She was extremely kind and sensitive and I liked her very much. Just before we left though, John and I did at last talk naturally. One of the roadies we used to know in Britain had moved to LA and invited us to a party at his home. John asked me to come and during the evening he talked to me pleasantly. He asked about Roberto and I explained what went wrong. John seemed genuinely sorry that it hadn't worked out. At last, when no one was watching, the guards came down and he allowed himself to care. That was the closest we came.I never saw him again. My third husband was John Twist.  We got on like a house on fire and John and Yoko even sent us a telegram wishing us happiness. Back in England I moved to the North and in 1976 I married John Twist, a sensible, down-to-earth engineer. He was gentle, polite and quite handsome and we got on like a house on fire. Oddly enough, John and Yoko, now reunited, even sent us a telegram to our wedding wishing us happiness."

Cynthia, 1994

Cynthia, Julian, and John walking in Los Angeles on January 10, 1974.

Photographed by Peter Borsari 

It was the last time John and Cynthia would see each other