Starting to Crumble

"It was a period of great, great change in John’s life. He didn’t know which direction he was going to take. The direction was chosen for him, anyway. Well, by his meeting with Yoko. That was it."

Cynthia, 1987

You would think that with John done with touring that his marriage would've lasted longer… maybe if The Beatles hadn't stopped touring, would John's marriage to Cynthia lasted? Hard to say. Drugs would still be around, as would John's infidelity. Or if John and Cynthia stayed in Spain one week longer so that he wouldn't have met Yoko Ono? Chances are John would have encountered Yoko regardless for being in an artistic world. Well, let's get out of the What Ifs scenarios and go back to reality:

John and Cynthia arriving at Heathrow Airport in London from Spain after John finished filming How I Won the War as Private Gripweed on November 6, 1966.

Yoko Ono at Indica Art Gallery in London for her exhibition Unfinished Paintings and Objects, November of 1966. 

John and Cynthia arrived home from Spain after he filmed How I Won the War on November 6, 1966… Three days later, on November 9, 1966, John Dunbar invited John over to his Indica Art Gallery to preview a new art exhibition Unfinished Paintings and Objects by Yoko Ono before opening to the public. John heard about Yoko before from reading about her in newspapers; he originally thought her art was whacky but agreed to go. After John went around the gallery, he met Yoko who encouraged him to climb a ladder with a magnifying glass hanging from the ceiling with YES in small print. Yoko then handed him a card that said BREATHE and a copy of her book, Grapefruit. John soon became fascinated with her work, writings, and Yoko herself.

“I got the word that this amazing woman was putting on a show the next week, something about people in bags, in black bags, and it was going to be a bit of a happening and all that. So I went to a preview the night before it opened. I went in- she didn't know who I was or anything- and I was wandering around. There were a couple of artsy-type students who had been helping, lying around there in the gallery, and I was looking at it and was astounded. There was an apple on sale there for two hundred quid; I thought it was fantastic- I got the humor in her work immediately. I didn't have to have much knowledge about avant-garde or underground art, the humor got me straightaway. It was two hundred quid to watch the fresh apple decompose. But it was another piece that really decided me for or against the artist: a ladder that led to a painting, which was hung on the ceiling. It looked like a white canvas with a chain with a spyglass hanging on the end of it. I climbed the ladder, looked through the spyglass, and in tiny little letters it said, YES. So it was positive. I felt relieved. It's a great relief when you get up the ladder and you look through the spyglass and it doesn't say NO or FUCK YOU or something. I was very impressed and John Dunbar introduced us - neither of us knew who the hell we were, she didn't know who I was, she'd only heard of Ringo, I think, it means apple in Japanese. And Dunbar had sort of been hustling her, saying, 'That's a good patron, you must go and talk to him or do something.' John Dunbar insisted she say hello to the millionaire. And she came up and handed me a card which said 'breathe' on it, one of her instructions, so I just went [pant]. This was our meeting” 

John, 1970

John may have been floored, impressed, but I wouldn't say it was love at first sight. John and Yoko developed a strange friendship; he even got rather annoyed with her! Yoko wanted John to sponsor her- I believe he did at some point in 1967. She started stalking him, showing up at his home, staying for hours that gained pity from Housekeeper Dot and Cynthia's mother Lillian who made the mistake of letting Yoko in to call for a ride home. Yoko used that opportunity to leave behind a piece of jewelry and then come to get it back the next day. She also started sending odd "art" packages of broken cups and tampons that freaked Cynthia out.

“I was making little art projects. You’re supposed to mend the cup that is broken. The idea is, when you open the Kotex box and go through it, there is something red in there.”

Yoko, 1980

“I was married and my wife wondered who was this woman who sent me a box of Kotex, ‘This is actually an artist’s work, my dear. This artist happens to work with Kotex. One of the avant-garde fields, Kotex, you see.'"

John, 1980

Yoko gave John her book, Grapefruit, which he read in bed. Cynthia one time asked what he was reading and found out that John and Yoko met, despite John continuing to refer Yoko as a whacky artist. I do think that there was a part of John that was freaked out by Yoko, she does have a rather dominating personality that's captivating and attractive for John.

"Well, it’s very difficult. You can write a book about that. But, and then again, maybe you can’t. Because it’s the kind of magic that you can’t express in words maybe. But we didn’t know it was going to be like this."

Yoko, 1987

Yoko with John during the recording session for the song The Fool On The Hill at EMI Studios, Abbey Road, London, September 25 1967. This was the first time John brought Yoko to the studio.

Besides the growing attraction of John and Yoko, there were other things going on in his marriage to Cynthia. There were the drugs… which I already covered. But it wasn't the only problem. The more John sank into the psychedelic world, the more far apart he was going from Cynthia. Their sex life became far and few in between, they developed a habit where if one is sleeping, the other would sleep in the spare room not to disturb the sleeper. Cynthia would often go out and about with her mother. John and Cynthia were living two different worlds in one roof. 

"I think we both changed. But I did not want to go down the road that John was going."

Cynthia, 1987

"Until about the summer of 1967 I thought the house was reasonably happy. I do remember some differences of opinion between Mr. and Mrs. Lennon but nothing out of the ordinary. Mr. Lennon was frequently away on tour, filming, and recording and I did not see very much of him… From about a year ago Mr. Lennon did not seem as keen as before to take Mrs. Lennon out with him to various functions, studio recordings, etc., to which he had previously taken Mrs. Lennon. I quite often heard Mrs. Lennon ask whether she could accompany him, but he had refused, making excuses for not taking her. He would only take her, if they had been invited together. The atmosphere seemed to change and there seemed more tension. As a result Mrs. Lennon was often depressed and unhappy."

Dorothy Jarlett, the Lennon's housekeeper

Okay, back to Yoko and John's friendship of sorts…

I don't think Cynthia knew that John and Yoko had developed a friendship… could it be naive? Denial? Or Cynthia was in her own world that she didn't notice until it was too late? All Cynthia knew for sure was that John was changing in front of her eyes. During the summer of 1967, as her marriage started to fail, neither John or Cynthia were ready to call it quits. 

On August 24, 1967, The Beatles, along with Cynthia, Pattie, Maureen, and Jane, went to the Hilton Hotel to meet with the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi for a lecture and arrangements for the train trip. Yoko was also there. From my understanding, John didn't know she was going to be there nor did he acknowledged her existence until she decided to ride with John and Cynthia to take her home. John was genuinely shocked by the move.

"That was the first contact. And then we had a few letters from Yoko asking for help, you know, with her cause and her art, and then it just… It’s very hard to be suspicious under those circumstances. John was just surrounded at the time by very weird people."

Cynthia, 1987

"Well, that was an occasion, it was something to do with the Maharishi. We went to a meeting, and Yoko happened to be at the meeting. And she asked for a lift to wherever it was she was living and she got in the car. I said to John, 'Why?' He said, :I don’t know.' And that was it. Well, only Yoko can say that, not me. It happened, these things happen in life. I knew at the time there was nothing I could do to stop what was happening. He was hell-bent on something. And it happened to end up he was hell-bent on Yoko. What he was looking for was a woman and a man combined. Someone he could call a pal, someone who was a woman, someone who encompassed everything in his life. He wanted to thin down his life with one person that he could put his trust in and believe in.”

Cynthia, 1987

“A few days before we left, we had a meeting with the Maharishi’s assistant at a house in London to finalise details of the trip. As we entered the main room, I saw seated in a corner armchair, dressed in black, a small Japanese woman. I guessed immediately that this was Yoko Ono, but what on earth was she doing there? Yoko introduced herself to the group, then sat silent, taking no part in the proceedings. John chatted to the other Beatles and the Maharishi’s assistant and appeared not to notice her. My mind was racing. What on earth was going on? At the end of the evening our driver was waiting outside for us. He opened the car door and, to my astonishment, Yoko climbed in. John gave me a look that intimated he didn’t know what the hell was going on, shrugging, palms upturned, nonplussed. He leant and asked if we could give her a lift somewhere. ‘Oh, yes please, 25 Hanover Gate,’ Yoko replied. We climbed in and not another word was said until we dropped her off, when she said, ‘Goodbye. Thank you,’ and got out…”

Cynthia, 2008

"The first time that I ever came in contact with Yoko Ono was at a meditation session in London. Prior to that, letters addressed to John had arrived at our home asking for his help and support in getting her book Grapefruit off the ground. She claimed that no one understood her work and that if someone didn't help her, she would give up everything. I had also been informed by Dot, the housekeeper, that she had been to the house on numerous occasions asking after John, but had been unlucky on all her visits. I didn't think anything of this lady until the night of the meeting when she arrived all in black and sat quietly in the corner of the room. When I first set eyes on Yoko, I knew she was the one for John. It was pure instinct. The chemistry was right and the mental aura that surrounded them was almost identical. I'm sure that, at this point, John had not even given it a second thought…"

Cynthia

"Well, that’s not how it happened."

Yoko, 1987

Pattie Harrison trying to help Cynthia on the train while her sister Jenny Boyd held her while George Harrison looked on in horror at Euston Station on August 25, 1967

John peering through the window to see the commotion of Cynthia missing the train Euston Station on August 25, 1967

But when Cynthia missed the train to Bangor, the writing was on the wall. It was just the matter of time of when it was going to crash and burn. On August 25, 1967, The Beatles, along with Cynthia, Pattie Boyd Harrison, Jenny Boyd, Mick Jagger, and Marianne Faithful were going to Bangor to attend a seminar by Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. Ringo's wife Maureen didn't go as she just had her second baby and Jane had other acting commitments but managed to catch a ride with Neil Aspinall when he drove Cynthia to Bangor. Cynthia got behind while managing the luggage while everyone else sprinted to get in the train. Just as Cynthia was about to put her foot on the train, she was held back by policemen believing she was a fan. John was already on the train; Pattie quickly realized what was going on and tried to pull Cynthia in but couldn't… at least Pattie tried to help immediately! John realized Cynthia wasn't there and peered through the window, shouting at Cynthia to tell the police that she was with them but no. The door shut closed, and the train started to move. Cynthia couldn't help but felt this was a bad omen, her future, to see her husband fade away from her in the distance.

Cynthia crying while being escorted by Peter Brown and Neil Aspinall after missing the train from London to Bangor at Euston Station on August 25, 1967.

"John leapt out of the car with the others and ran for the platform- leaving me to follow with our bags. It was the result of years in which he’d taken it for granted that others would see to all the details. I followed him as fast as I could. The station was mayhem, with fans, reporters, police and passengers all milling around. I struggled to push my way through, but when I got to the platform my way was barred by a huge policeman who, unaware that I was with the Beatles party, said, ‘Sorry, love, too late, the train’s going,’ and pushed me aside." 

Cynthia 

"In the rush Cynthia was left behind– she was probably carrying the suitcases while John, empty-handed and thoughtless as ever, made a dash for it. And so the train pulled away and I shall never forget the sight of Cynthia running down the platform shrieking at John to wait."

Pattie Boyd, from her book, Wonderful Tonight: George Harrison, Eric Clapton and Me, 2007

“John's wife Cyn got left behind in the crush, and as the train left the station she was just standing there, so I drove her to Bangor that day. Some friends of mine were staying in a caravan in North Wales, and after I dropped Cyn off I went to see them.” 

Neil Aspinall

“I remember Cynthia not making the train, which was terrible and very symbolic. She was the only one of our party not to get there… That was the end of her and John, really, weirdly enough.” 

Paul McCartney

"It was on 25 August that the train, bearing Beatles, Yogi, friends and families, not forgetting the reporters and photographers, left London's Euston Station from platform 8- leaving guess who on the platform? I watched tearfully as the train slowly drew away from the platform. John, realizing that someone was missing from his baggage, poked his head out of the window and other heads sprouted their way out to see what was happening. 'Tell the (a policeman who had pushed me aside) to let you on. Tell them you're with us,' John shouted. I found it very embarrassing.  Brian's secretary told me not to worry, telling me that Neil would drive me to Bangor and that we would probably get there before the train arrived. I knew that, when I missed the train, it was synonymous with all my premonitions for the future. I just knew, in my heart, as I watched all the people that I loved fading into the hazy distance, that that was to be my future. The loneliness I felt on that station platform would be a permanent loneliness before very long. I shivered at that thought."

Cynthia

“I was crying because the incident seemed symbolic of what was happening to my marriage. John was on the train, speeding into the future, and I was left behind. As I stood there, watching the train disappear into the distance, I felt certain that the loneliness I was experiencing on that platform would become permanent one day.” 

Cynthia

John and Cynthia at Bangor Normal College on August 26, 1967

When Cynthia (and Jane) caught up with everyone in Bangor, John was not happy with her on not being able to keep up. Well, John, maybe if you gave Cynthia the first thought of making sure she was next to you, then this wouldn't have happened? Maybe if you guys weren't running as late, then this wouldn't have happened? Cynthia has said that she was ready to go on time while everyone else was running behind… The Beatles were used to having their luggage being handled by someone else as they dashed from plane to car in the matter of seconds while Cynthia wasn't used to the rush. 

On August 27, 1967, their world turned upside down when news of Brian Epstein's death came. There was a phone call that Jane picked up and handed the phone to Paul. I promise you that Brian's death and the Maharishi involvement will be deeply examined in a post of it's own so I will say this much on the subject that for the moment John and Cynthia got closer in grief. Both were in deep shock over the sudden death, and perhaps another nail being pounded on the coffin of their strained marriage.