Secret Newlyweds

“Brian had an obsession about not letting the marriage become public. At a very early stage of my involvement, John mentioned that he was married and Brian went berserk about it to me. He said, 'I don't know why he's told you that. Yes, of course it's true, but he's told awfully few people and I want you to make quite sure you don't tell anybody else.”

Tony Barrow

The Beatles performing at the Cavern Club in Liverpool on August 22, 1962. In less than 24 hours, John would become a married man.

At first, John went along with Brian's plan to keep his marriage and pending fatherhood a secret. But at some point John became frustrated and wanted his marriage known. He figured that his marriage was going to come out anyway and believed it wouldn't make no difference to the Beatles’ growing popularity. Cynthia knew nothing about John's battle with Brian over their marriage.

“He kept so many things from me, bad and good. I only heard much later that Brian wanted me kept quiet.”

Cynthia, 1985

While John was away, Cynthia busied herself washing and drying his clothes,went to check-ups for the baby, and mind their home. Cynthia became John's much-needed stability rock.

“Cynthia was beautiful, physically and on the inside. Although he was apt to find love on the road, she was totally dedicated to his success, and I might add, extremely influential. He was insecure and Cynthia was there to pump him up to buttress, sort of, his weak side. She was a wonderful mother who loved John deeply.”

Tony Bramwell

“After rehearsals or a gig, we would go to a bar in the West End. We would drink and talk. It would be late at night, but Cynthia was always waiting for him, always there to embrace him. She was sweetly sensitive, and I do believe most people have no idea what a central figure she was in terms of keeping him somewhat stable during that hard phase when no one knew if the boys were a passing fad or the real thing. I mean, John was the leader, but he was also scared all the time. People forget what a rock she was for him.”

Tony Barrow

Paul, John, Cavern Club owner Ray McFall, and Cynthia at the Cavern Club in October of 1962

Photographed by Mike McCartney

“As far as Brian was concerned any news item that mentioned their marriage and/or their offspring would be damaging to the image of the Beatles. I thought this was preposterous stance to take. His fear was that young females would fall out of love with John if they found out that he was a married man. My view was that in the swinging '60's an increasing number of teenage fans would find John all the more interesting when they knew he had a wife. Here was an additional challenge of the forbidden fruit variety!”

Tony Barrow

“She was so scared. She wanted to marry John- very definitely- it just wasn't the right time. She realized they weren't ready for it, but there was no other solution.”

Dot Rhone

Cynthia did glamorize her early months of marriage to John. I am sure and positivity think that she was probably more focused on the good. Whenever John returned home, he would bring some things for their new home; his first present for his wife was a beaten copper coffee table for their living room. Although it wasn't exactly in Cynthia's taste, she was touched by the thought and was swept away by his enthusiasm. However, according to Dot, there were problems. Maybe it was pressure from Brian; losing more and more free time and becoming more busier, tours, recording and writing songs, newfound fame and seeing his name in the local papers, having women throwing themselves at him, and then John would come home after being looked at as an idol to a pregnant wife holding the trash bag for him to take out.

“There were a lot of fights. He would drink an awful lot- just get drunk and mean. And then he’d say such awful things to Cyn. He was so moody. One moment he could be so funny and wonderful, and the next so damn cruel.”

Dot Rhone

A scared three months pregnant Cynthia and a protective John trying to barricade themselves from two drunken men looking for a woman.

Artwork by Cynthia

"This is in Brian Epstein's flat in Liverpool. John and had just got married- I was three months pregnant. John was panicking, he wasn't brave. I nearly had a miscarriage afterwards."

Cynthia, 1999

About three months into her pregnancy, Cynthia woke up to discover blood. With her brother Tony's help, she rushed to the Doctor. Cynthia was told to stay in bed for three days to avoid a miscarriage. Too scared to go across the apartment for the bathroom, she set a kettle for tea and a bucket for bathroom needs besides the bed (I hope she didn't poop!). John would call in but Cynthia didn't tell him until he came home well after her three bedridden days were gone. He told her she should've told him but she felt that John had enough on his shoulders. The threatened miscarriage happened after a scare John and Cynthia had in their apartment: Two drunken men came knocking, looking for a woman named Carol. John tried sending them off but the men didn't believe him and started violently pounded on the door. It wasn't until Cynthia yelled that her name wasn't Carol and that she was 3 months pregnant. The men left and the newlyweds had trouble going to sleep that night and we're quite shaken. John and Cynthia’s first apartment wasn't in the best side of town during the time period. Sadly, in 2017, a man murdered his wife and their two children in the same apartment.
When John came back home for a few days, Cynthia suggested that they should visit Mimi. Although Cynthia wasn't exactly Mimi's number 1 fan, she didn't like animosity in families and knew that both Aunt and nephew missed each other. John was incredibly hurt by Mimi's attitude towards his marriage and fatherhood; the three months have been the longest Mimi and John haven't seen or spoken to one another since his wedding. John was hesitant but agreed. Both traveled by bus, probably the last time John and Cynthia rode on the bus together as John was becoming more and more recognizable. Both were more prepared for having the door slammed in their faces but to their surprise, Mimi greeted them with an open door, hugs, and kisses and instantly started on a home cooked meal. Cynthia was now visibly pregnant and Mimi asked how she was doing. They filled her in on the almost miscarriage and how Cynthia was alone most of the time. During a fresh air break in the garden, Mimi offered John and Cynthia to move in with her. Cynthia was not too thrilled with the idea but couldn't argue against it either because she wouldn't be alone and scared.

Do You Want to Know a Secret? 1963 (recorded in 1962)
You'll never know how much I really love you
You'll never know how much I really care
Listen do you want to know a secret
Do you promise not to tell woh woh woh closer

Let me whisper in your ear
Say the words you long to hear
I'm in love with you
I've known the secret for a week or two
Nobody knows just we two
Listen do you want to know a secret
Do you promise not to tell woh woh woh closer
Let me whisper in your ear
Say the words you long to hear
I'm in love with you

“I was in the first apartment I’d ever had that wasn't shared with 14 other students- gals and guys at art school. I’d just married Cyn, and Brian Epstein gave us his secret little apartment that he kept in Liverpool for his sexual liaisons separate from his home life. And he let Cyn and I have that apartment.”

John, 1980

Ask Me Why 1963 (recorded in 1962)
I love you, 'cause you tell me things I want to know.
And it's true that it really only goes to show,
That I know,
That I, I, I, I should never, never, never be blue.
Now you're mine, my happiness still makes me cry.
And in time, you'll understand the reason why,
If I cry,
It's not because I'm sad, but you're the only love that I've ever had.
I can't believe it's happened to me
I can't conceive of any more misery.
Ask me why, I'll say I love you,
And I'm always thinking of you.
I love you, 'cause you tell me things I want to know.
And it's true that it really only goes to show,
That I know,
That I, I, I, I should never, never, never be blue.
Ask me why, I'll say I love you,
And I'm always thinking of you.
I can't believe it's happened to me.
I can't conceive of any more misery.
Ask me why, I'll say I love you,
And I'm always thinking of you.

Young Love: Paul & Dot

Dorothy Rhone in Cynthia's apartment

Dorothy Rhone was born to Tom and Jessie Rhone around in 1944 in Liverpool. Dot was the youngest of four children (Billy, Anne, and Barbara), raised in a strict household and was sheltered. She attended Liverpool Institute of Girls, across the street from Liverpool Institute of Boys where Paul McCartney attended. Dot first saw the Quarrymen perform in 1959 at the Casbah and had a crush on John. She soon discovered that he had a girlfriend, Cynthia.

“It must have been all over my face that I fancied John, but once it became clear he had a girlfriend, I lost interest.”

Dot Rhone

“John was also the dominant one, a very different personality. He gave me the nickname 'Bubbles’, for some reason, and we got along really well. I know Paul is always painted as the nice, kind one, but to me, John was more compassionate. He wasn't as mean as they make out.”

Dot Rhone

Paul and Dot started to date and she became good friends with Cynthia. The foursome would frequently double-date.

“John was a flirt. As long as they were happy, we were happy.”

Dot Rhone

“We weren't allowed to open our mouths. They'd talk all night, and we just listened.”

Dot Rhone

“The normal thing was to go to these big ballrooms, where the girls would sit at one end and the boys at the other. There would be a crowd of us: me, Paul, John, Cyn, and George- who was the youngest always tagging along.”

Dot Rhone

Like John with Cynthia, Paul was a strict boyfriend: he was jealous, quick tempered, possessive, controlling. Over time, Dot, who worked as a bank clerk, lost touch with her friends. Both John and Paul lusted over Brigitte Bardot and modeled their girlfriends after her by dying their hair blonde and their mostly black clothes. Dot lost her virginity to Paul around Christmas of 1959. The following year, in February of 1960, Dot discovered that she was pregnant. Her family were horrified and thought of sending Dot away to her older sister and give the baby up for adoption. But Paul refused: he would marry Dot and they would raise their baby. Paul's father started to help working on the wedding arrangements and was more supportive than her family. Three months into the pregnancy and the wedding looming near, Dot suffered a miscarriage. In August of that year, Paul went to Hamburg. Like John, Paul would send her letters and he had his own share of affairs.

“I spent a lot of time with Cyn talking about them and writing letters. Sometimes we would dress ourselves up in the leather skirts and put on our make-up and take pictures of one another to send to them.”

Dot Rhone

When the opportunity for Dot to go to Hamburg to visit Paul, she pleaded with her parents to allow her to go. I am sure her pregnancy from the year before was still fresh in their minds! Anyway, Dot managed to plead good enough to go. Paul's Dad and Cynthia's Mother accompanied the girls to the train station to see them off. While Cynthia stayed with Astrid, Dot stayed on the houseboat owned by their friend, Rosa the lavatory attendant.

Photographed by Mike McCartney

“She and John’s girlfriend, later wife, Cynthia, came over to Hamburg and I remember buying her a leather skirt and encouraging her to grow her hair long so she’d look like Brigitte. She was a blonde. Cynthia had the same thing- tight skirt, long blonde hair. Cynthia wasn't actually a blonde but John got her to dye it blonde to look a bit more like Brigitte. I remember he and I saying, 'Yeah, well, the more they look like Brigitte, the better off we are, mate!’”

Paul McCartney

Paul wrote two songs for Dot: P. S. I Love You (it appears on The Beatles’ debut album, Please Please Me in 1963 and occasionally performs it in concert) and Love of the Loved (unreleased).

Photographed by Mike McCartney

After returning from Hamburg, Dot got a new job as a chemist dispenser and moved into Cynthia's old apartment after she moved in next door after a neighbor left and abandoned it. Later that year, 1961, her relationship with Paul started to crumble. Paul would visit her less and less and when he did visit, they would argue. By the summer of 1962, Cynthia and Dot were enjoying a girls’ night in pampering themselves yet not in the state for their boyfriends to see. Paul unexpectedly showed up and went to Dot’s apartment for privacy when he broke up with her. Dot was devastated and moved back in with her parents. After Cynthia and John discovered that they were going to be parents and got married, Cynthia had a close call of a miscarriage. Dot went to stay with Cynthia to be with her while John was touring. One day, Dot was washing the dishes and took off her engagement ring from Paul but forgot to put it back on. Cynthia found it and put it on but forgot about it. It wasn't until 1997 when Cynthia went to Toronto where Dot was now living to return the ring. Anyway, in 1964 Dot moved to Canada and lost touch with Cynthia until, well, 1997, when they reunited; I do not know if they continued to keep in touch until Cynthia's death. A few days after her arrival in Canada, Dot met Werner Becker- they married and had three daughters (the first named Astrid, after Astrid Kirchherr). Dot saw Paul three times while living in Canada: twice during the Beatles tour and in 1976 with Wings with Paul’s wife Linda in the band. Paul invited Dot and her family to see the show and backstage where they made peace with their past.

Postman, Postman, Don't Be Slow

John and Cynthia on the beach of the Baltic Sea in Hamburg, 1961

Photographed by Astrid Kirchherr

The first ‘tour’ separation of John and Cynthia was when the Silver Beatles went to Scotland for a few weeks. John sent Cynthia a postcard or two. Then, in August of 1960, John, Paul McCartney, George Harrison, Stuart Sutcliffe, and newly recruited Pete Best, embarked on a questionable extended residency in Hamburg, Germany.

“It was as if they’d gone off to war.”

Dot Rhone

“The group had started to get its own fans. I knew they had lots of girls hanging around them, but I never worried or got jealous. I seemed so much older than all the girls. I felt very secure. But I was much more worried about Hamburg. That seemed so far away and for such a long time. I knew the Liverpool girls, but I didn't know anything about the situation in Hamburg. Anything could happen to them in Hamburg.”

Cynthia, 1968

John promised Cynthia he would write every day. Sure enough, his letters arrived almost daily.

“Thanks sexiest letters this side of Henry Miller. Forty pages long, some of them. [To Cynthia] You haven't destroyed them, have you?”

John, 1968

“He’d written all the time he was away, of course.”

Cynthia, 1968

John filled the letters with the adventurers the band were having- playing at all hours and needed more songs. He would ask Cynthia for help. She would go to the record store, listening and slowing down the record to write down the lyrics to send to John. A Shot of Rhythm and Blues is one example. He would also write notes of love, how much he missed her, wanted her, and reassuring to be patient for him to come home. John would cover the envelope with more love notes, including SWALK (Sealed With A Loving Kiss) and a note to the Postman, “Postman, Postman, don't be slow, I’m in love with Cyn, so go, man, go!” There were also several lewd sexual references that made Cynthia blush and hide the letters from her mother.

“...the love and warmth of his letters made me feel wonderful and miserable at the same time.”

Cynthia, 1985

Cynthia realized that she and John didn't have any photos of one another. However, she did share a story that John borrowed a camera to take pictures of Cynthia to have with him. Maybe he had pictures of her, but she didn't have any of him? Well, Cynthia dolled herself up and went to the photo booth. John sent back his own strips with Goofy and disgusting faces to make Cynthia laugh. Although he missed Cynthia, the boys were having a time of their lives. George was 17 and lost his virginity while the others pretended to be asleep but cheered after he finished. I will discuss John's affairs in another post. Anyway, they slept behind the theater and shared the bathroom with the customers. One night, Klaus Voormann took his girlfriend Astrid Kirchherr to see the Beatles perform after seeing them on a previous night after they had an argument. Astrid became a fan and, during their break, asked the Beatles for her to take photos of them. Klaus and Astrid were modern beatniks, dressed in leather and velvet in black, very fashionable, and in the art scene. The Beatles were quite impressed and attracted of Astrid. However, she took quite a liking to Stuart and vice versa. Cynthia took notice on how often John wrote about Astrid in his letters. She became quite jealous and expected a break up letter at any time but was relieved when she read about Stuart and Astrid.

“I was very curious about this Astrid. She’d cropped up again and again in John's letters home. Everything was Astrid this and Astrid that. Astrid was taking wonderful photographs of them, Astrid had such good taste- until I’d become quite jealous.”

Cynthia, 1994

“You know what I have written- carved- on a church in Hamburg? John loves Cyn. That was my first going out with her at the time. A church that overlooks just outside the Reeperbahn. But out right in town, and it's got a big green tower that you can walk up in. And we all carved our names on there. You can have a look. There will be John & Cyn, Stu & Astrid, Paul & *what the hell was that girl at that time? I think Stu & Astrid is up there but I know John & Cyn is. We stuck our names up there with whoever we were hanging on then.”

John, 1975

*The girl was Dot Rhone. And unfortunately, I heard the carved names are now long gone.

“I loved his mentality, not because I thought he was a sexy boy. That was reserved by me for Stuart, whom I adored and fancied right from the start. John was pleased for Stuart. Also, John told me he had left his girlfriend at home in Liverpool, so that was that.”

Astrid Kirchherr, 1985

“John and I would go and have a couple of quiet beers, just to sit down and chew the fat. And he’d talk about Cynthia and how much he missed her.”

Pete Best

In late November of 1960, the Beatles wanted to break their contract to play at another club with better pay and living conditions. But it was discovered that George was underaged, so he got deported. Paul and Pete got into trouble by lighting up a condom that ignited a fire in the club with some damage. They were thrown in jail before being deported back to England. John drifted around and eventually returned back to England, arriving late one night. Cynthia came over the following day. He kept a low profile before getting in touch with Paul, George, and Pete. Stuart stayed in Hamburg with Astrid. They regrouped and started to play at the Cavern on a regular basis in between trips to Hamburg, including the Casbah, the Jacaranda, and other clubs near Liverpool.

“Well, it was something that you didn't sort of go to see the first appearance of the Beatles together. We all drifted into it from before. Before the Cavern, they played at the Jacaranda. So we had a sort of build up to the Cavern. It wasn't the first time I’d seen them. I’d seen them in all sorts of situations, ridiculous places. They were trying to earn a crust, earn some money. That was when they were students. And then of course when they started to expand and improve, then watching them in the Cavern was no different for me than seeing them starting out. For other people it was amazing. They were rough. They were rugged. They didn't give a damn about anybody. They just blew away everybody, compared to all the rest of the music that was going on at the time.”

Cynthia

Cynthia and John in Hamburg, April of 1961

Photographed by Astrid Kirchherr

The Beatles managed to get back up to Hamburg to continue their reign. This time around, John wanted Cynthia to come up to visit him during her Easter break from college. Cynthia remained a student while John basically left, abandoning his studies. John was still jealous and possessive of Cynthia. Cynthia and Paul's girlfriend Dot traveled by train after being dropped off by Lillian and Paul's father Jim McCartney, with sandwiches and water. During the ride, they stayed in the train during rest stops because they were afraid to miss the train because of the foreign language. Cynthia and Dot arrived in Hamburg very late at night/early hours of the morning; John and Paul, wired from excitement, alcohol, Preludin pills, and lack of sleep, greeted them at the station. John and Paul took the hungry girls for breakfast before settling in. Dot stayed at a houseboat owned by the Hamburg barmaid who befriended the Beatles while Cynthia stayed with Astrid.

“Our weeks in Hamburg with Stuart and Astrid and the rest of the boys were so special. It was a brilliant, exciting time. Everything seemed to be exciting then.”

Cynthia

“Anyway, we strolled back to the Top Ten Club and as we arrived outside, a little Volkswagen pulled up beside us and a beautiful girl got out. Slim and graceful, she had very short blonde hair, perfect features, and her clothes were sleek and elegant. I studied them discreetly… I was impressed and when Astrid spoke the effect was even more charming. She spoke English with a German accent to which had been added a twang of Liverpool. She was very sweet, she was always laughing and smiling and within minutes I forgot my fleeting jealousy. I liked her.”

Cynthia, 1994

Cynthia was very impressed by Astrid's home, her bedroom especially, with all black furniture and silver walls. In between his playing, John showed Cynthia the sights of Hamburg. On one (or more) occasion, Stuart, Astrid, John, and Cynthia went to the beach.

“It was when Cynthia visited John and I had the idea to take them out to the Baltic Sea for the day. We went in the morning and came back at night because they had to play then. It was just a beautiful day and they enjoyed it very much. That was the first time John and Cynthia had been to the Baltic Sea and they were having a lot of fun playing in the sand and having a swim in the sea and they were just like children enjoying themselves. Stuart and John played in the sand building little castles and things by the sea.”

Astrid Kirchherr

There were times when Astrid, Cynthia, and Dot went out themselves, doing girlie things and going through Astrid's wardrobe. Astrid gave Cynthia a blouse that she would later wear for her wedding to John by the following year. They would doll themselves up to watch their men play. There were a couple of times when John wanted Cynthia to stay with him overnight rather than going back with Astrid, squeezing into John's small bunk bed.

“But there were nights when the two girls trooped upstairs to our dormitory and on these occasions, George and I would be instructed not to claim our bunks until 4:00 in the morning. If the holiday-makers, weary of sightseeing, came into our quarters during the afternoon, George and I would be requested tactfully to look the other way. There was little to occupy Cyn and Dot once they had done the sights and visited the shops in the more respectable area of the city, guided by Astrid who drove them around in her grey VW beetle. In the evening, the girls had a choice of either sitting around in the T Ten and watching us 'making show’ with Tony Sheridan for 7 or 8 hours, or wondering off to the dormitory to escape the ear-splitting noise. When they did choose to take refuge upstairs, John and Paul would drift off during a session to visit them, then rejoin us on stage later.”

Pete Best

“Oh, that was brilliant, but again it was very violent and very dangerous. But then again, I had Astrid Kirchherr as my sort of escort. Astrid and Klaus who they met when they first went to Hamburg and became friends with, who were German and knew the ropes and knew everything. So when I went, I was well-protected. I had no problems. But the performances there were completely different to the performances in England. Obviously it was the Reeperbahn, where it was very rough and rugged… drugs, lots of murders. Sounds good, doesn't it? But they were also protected because they had people who lived around Hamburg. They had to perform every night of the week, 8 hours every night.”

Cynthia

“Right from the start in the Casbah, John was always very jealous whenever Cyn was around. If anyone tried to talk to her while he was playing, Lennon would try to wither them with a laser like glare. Once off stage, they would be abruptly told to fuck off. It was plain that night in the Top Ten that the two girls were now a little scared. At the end of the number, the heavy mob of Lennon and Best hurried down from the dais and sailed in to save them. In his usual blunt manner, John handed out a verbal lashing and for a few moments a nasty scene threatened to develop. 'Why are you butting in?’ one of the Germans asked arrogantly, sparring for trouble, which resulted some pushing and jostling. 'That’s my girlfriend you're messing about with,’ John snarled at him. The situation immediately began to cool and the apologies followed. The Germans explained that they thought the girls were simply British tourists looking for fun; what's more, they went on, they themselves were Beatle fans and would never think of trying to upset us. After the near-miss, the waiters, ever dutiful, made a point of hovering near Cyn and Dot like watchful guard dogs. There was never any more trouble after that one incident.”

Pete Best

“... Cynthia managed to join John during the Beatles’second German jaunt. He later told me that it was on her account that he once very nearly placed his own life in jeopardy. This uncharacteristic display of gallantry occurred in the throes of a Beatles performance at the Top Ten Club, when John spied a formidable looking gentleman in the act of pawing his Cyn. In a flash, heedless of the consequences, John threw down his guitar, leaped from the stage, grabbed a bottle, and cracked it over the skull of Cyn's admirer. To John's astonishment, his rival didn't even flinch but merely stared back, motionless and expressionless with the blood, glass, and booze spilling down his face. This apparition lasted a full minute, but the end of which John felt utterly unnerved, convinced he was looking death right in the eye. Yet when the wounded tough finally spoke, all he said was, 'I’m sorry I was annoying you.’ 'Well then,’ John snarled as menacing as he could under the circumstances, 'don’t do it again!’ Whereupon he stalked back onto the stage, desperately hoping nobody noticed he was shaking as he strapped on his guitar.”

Pete Shotton, 1983

“John took Cynthia with him for part of this second trip over Easter holiday in 1961. He had been bragging so much about it at home that he really had no choice but to take her along. I'm sure that Cynthia would have heard about the girl groupies from the others and from general gossip and excitement that surrounded the group, and that this probably strengthened her determination to be at John's side during the next trip. Tables were turned, however, with a singular incident in Hamburg’s Top Ten Club, when someone in the audience tried to attach himself to Cyn, while she was watching John play. In the middle of a number, John leapt right off the stage to hit the chat-up man who was trying to get close to his girl. He must have been wearing his glasses!”

Julia Baird

That's a good point Julia made… John was literally blind as a bat without his glasses on, how could he see who was making the moves on Cynthia? I can only guess that maybe Paul or George whispered to him or John can make out Cynthia's bright blonde hair and see shadows around his girlfriend or he has a radar sense of a guy interested in his girl.

When Cynthia returned back to Hoylake, her mother had news: Lillian was moving to Canada to act as a nanny for her niece's new baby. The Powell family home was to be rented out, which meant that Cynthia had to move out and fend for herself. She was being trained to be an Art teacher, being an assistant at a school while still attending Liverpool College of Art. Cynthia moved in with Mimi. John returned and they did not dare to be passionate under Mimi's roof. Maybe elsewhere, but definitely not Mendips. Eventually, when John went back to Hamburg, Cynthia found Mimi to be difficult to live with and moved in with her Aunt. It was across town which meant Cynthia had to take more than one bus to her destinations. She looked into the classifieds and found an apartment within her tight budget. It wasn't luxury but it was hers and Cynthia tried to make the best of it. Not surprisingly, John was thrilled. They could be together without pressure or interruptions, despite the No Overnight Guests rule (betcha Cynthia broke that one!) Soon, Cynthia's weird lady next door neighbor mysteriously disappeared, so Cynthia took over her apartment while Dot moved in Cynthia's. Since living with Mimi, Cynthia got a 'vacation’ job at Woolworth's, where John would pop in to say hello when in town.

“I became pregnant before I could finish my teaching. I did teaching for a while. Then I became pregnant and following the Beatles and everything else that happened. But, no, I haven't had a job. The work I had as a student was working in Woolworth's. On the perfume counter. The cosmetics counter. But, that was when I was a student during holidays…”

Cynthia

“I believe we are going to Berlin after Christmas, but don't mention this to Cynthia yet in case John hasn't told her, because in a letter he received today she says she can't wait for Xmas and him.”

Stuart Sutcliffe (in a letter to ex-girlfriend and friend, Susan Williams)

Astrid, Stuart, and Cynthia at the beach of the Baltic Sea, April of 1961

Photographed by John

By late 1961/early 1962, Stuart and Astrid got engaged after he quit the Beatles and enrolled into an art college in Hamburg. Paul and Dot were also engaged- even after a very close call of marriage and baby (more on that in another post). John did suggest getting engaged to Cynthia but nothing came of it. They were happy the way things were.

In April of 1962, Stuart died in the ambulance in route to the hospital in Astrid's arms. Stuart had been suffering headaches in the last couple months. He died of a brain hemorrhage. His body was sent back to Liverpool; Astrid stayed with Cynthia. On the day Stuart died, John, Paul, George, and Pete arrived and were greeted by a grief-stricken Astrid who told them the news. John was devastated.

Cynthia's Transformation

Juliette Gréco and Brigitte Bardot

There's a bit of a conflict regarding when Cynthia went from being a brunette to a blonde. It's been long said that Cynthia changed her hair color after she and John started going out. However, in the last 15 years or so of her life, Cynthia insisted that she turned blonde before becoming John's girlfriend in hopes of getting his attention. Let's get one thing on record here: I do not want to make Cynthia into a liar. Not my intention at all; I am more on getting the timeline straighten out. Maybe her memories got jumbled up? So much had happened in 40 to 50 years since, but she had made quite a few errors-- even her first book, A Twist of Lennon published in 1978, had screwed up errors. However, there are photos in existence of John and Cynthia together with Cynthia sporting a short dark hair do so let's use those as our main reference.

“Phyl and I experimented with pale lipstick and black eyeliner and attempted to turn ourselves into blonde bombshells with the aid of Hiltone hair dye. Quite often we ended up an odd shade of orange but we didn't care, we were having fun.”

Cynthia, 1994

When John and Cynthia started dating in late 1958, Cynthia's hair was short, brown with red tints, and she dressed in 'twin sets’, classic 1950’s fashion. She had her hair done by her mother's hairdresser that made her look older and old-fashioned. When Cynthia arrived at Liverpool College of Art, she got a real wide-eyed opener of bohemian, teddy boy styles in fishnet stockings, tighter clothes, make-up, and longer hair. During his teenage years, John was highly fascinated, maybe obsessed enough, of Juliette Greco and, especially, Brigitte Bardot. He had a poster of Brigitte taped on the ceiling over his bed.

“This was a time when John had dual fancies for his femme fatale. One dream fantast for him, as for most other boys, including Paul McCartney, was the fantabulous blonde sex-kitten Brigitte Bardot. The other was her dianetic opposite in complexion, the sultry Juliette Greco. John had posters of both women. I can imagine him lying on his bed deciding which one to have for himself! Brigitte won the day and Cynthia, a natural beauty anyway, duly transformed her long fair hair into a dazzling shade of blonde.”

Julia Baird, 2007

“Unfortunately for Cyn, she happened to come along at the time everyone was trying to turn their girlfriends into a bargain basement Bardot. We appreciate happened to be at the age when ravishing sex goddess taking off her clothes was the fantasy for us boys. We were all smitten. So the girls had to be blonde, look rather like Brigitte, and preferably pout a lot. John and I used to have these secret talks intimating, although not actually saying it, that we could be quite happy for our girlfriends to be Liverpool's answer to Bardot. My girlfriend was called Dot and, of course, John had Cynthia. We got them both to go blonde and wear mini skirts. It's terrible really. But that's the way it was.”

Paul McCartney

Not only Cynthia changed her hair, but she changed her wardrobe too with fishnet stockings, mini skirts, tighter shirts-- mostly in black.

Cynthia did occasionally went back to her natural brunette hair color; in early 1967 during the recording of Sgt. Pepper and in 1968 while in India with the Maharishi. Other than that for most of her life, Cynthia stayed blonde.