Monday, March 25, 2019

Paperback Writer

"The only way you can get the truth is from the inside, not the outside. I feel the time is right."
Cynthia, 2005
Cynthia at her first book launch party in June of 1978

Cynthia wrote two books about her life with John:
A Twist of Lennon (1978)
John (2005)

John was still alive when her first book was published, and when excerpts appeared in a newspaper, John tried to stop the publication of her book thinking that it would put him and Yoko in a bad light. However, there was no evidence of any resentment so the book came out anyway. I heard John got one of his employees to get the book for him while spending a lot of alone time in his bedroom not wanting to be disturbed. I think John did care and didn't want Cynthia to reveal the real him, in a way, he still trusted her until he heard about the book. He probably thought she would be quite betrayed and nasty especially after the way he left her. Personally, I didn't think it was a big deal. The second book, John, was much more revealing. Cynthia once said if she were to publish another book, it would be her art; maybe Julian will do something in the future?


“They all get one shot. Each chauffeur and ex-wife and ex-lover and ex-servant gets one book if they're lucky.”
John

A Twist of Lennon started on her meeting with John, only briefly writing about her childhood, and it ended with their divorce. Albert Goldman used Cynthia's book in his own controversial biography, The Lives of John Lennon after she refused to be interviewed by him.
"No, I didn’t, and I don’t know anyone close to him who did. I was pursued for four years when we were living in Cumbria and I’d get phone calls from one of his researchers saying that he wanted an interview and I said that no way would I help him. I read the book that he did on Elvis Presley and I was so shocked at that that I wasn’t going to help him with a book about John; there was no way I was going to be involved in it. The man is such a character assassin. The researcher even threatened to camp out opposite. He really harassed me for four years and even followed me here to the Isle of Man. He went on about how honourable this book was and what an intelligent and qualified man Albert Goldman was. How he’d interviewed all the family - I know that he did interview a cousin in Scotland. I thought I’d heard all this before. John has gone now and he doesn’t have to defend himself, he doesn’t have to fight for his reputation. He can’t. The rest of us can. It’s our duty to respond- even if it does help to sell his book. What I’ve seen so far is negative, so fabricated. It’s the most negative piece of work I have ever seen. It’s almost as if he has taken a half truth and twisted it, as far as I’m concerned, to the point of no recognition. He’s taken things from a book that I wrote called A Twist Of Lennon and he’s even twisted that. He’s taken a lot from other books, Ray  Coleman’s book and Philip Norman’s book Shout! on the Beatles, and elaborated on it and twisted it. I’d like him to be portrayed as a real man, not this shadow of a man. I haven’t read John Lennon, My Brother, but it sounds okay."
Cynthia, 1988


Cynthia at her second book's signing in 2005

In John, Cynthia wrote more of her childhood, her life with John and after up to that point of writing (2005) with much more details, including Julian and her difficult relationship with Yoko. Cynthia once described A Twist of Lennon as a little girl's essay which I agree; it seems like it was written in a hurry and under pressure. Meanwhile, John seemed to have been under the works for over 10 years before it's release.

There are errors: the dress she described wearing to the premiere of A Hard Day’s Night was actually the dress from the premiere of Help! Ringo and Maureen got married in 1965, not 1966 (George and Pattie got married that year), and Stuart did have a girlfriend or two during art college before Astrid. Bill Harry once made a list of errors from her book- I recently tried looking for it on the internet but haven't found it at this time.

“Well, he's an old friend of mine. He went to junior art school with me and also to the college. He is a detail, data man. I'm an emotional woman. I'm writing about my life and my emotions and what happened. For me that was far more important than dates and lists of this and lists of that. There's so many books like that anyway that I wasn't writing a book about dates. For a real Beatle aficionado and fans, they know all that anyway. I've never been good at numbers, so I've no qualms about Bill. He's doing very well doing the way he does it, which is a little bit unemotional if it's all about dates and places and things and I was trying to get to the core of my relationship with John and my life with John and my son's experiences. If that had been scattered with dates then you wouldn't have gotten a story at all.”
Cynthia

When Cynthia wrote A Twist of Lennon, she was married to John Twist who encouraged her to write the book. I suppose John Twist imagined the book would open up doors of fortune. John Twist and Cynthia lived in Ireland for a year while she wrote A Twist of Lennon while Julian was at Ruthin School in 1977.


“The first book was a very cathartic situation. The reason I wrote it was not to make millions, it was to express what I’d been through and also speak to John at the time, because I was not in a position to speak to him, because he’d gone off with Yoko, so in a way it was a letter, an extended letter."
Cynthia, 2007

In 1993, it was revealed that Cynthia was writing another book but it was eventually shelved until in 2004 when Julian and his business manager suggested that she should write a book. It took six months to write until John was released in 2005.


“Cyn is writing another book, which will certainly destroy many myths. It will include a lot about Julian, who now lives in Los Angeles, as well as tell a few unpleasant truths about that woman.”
Jim Christie, Cynthia's boyfriend, 1993

“I think the sands of time are running out, actually . . . And I just wanted to balance the scales.”
Cynthia, 2005

"What’s happened since has been mega in so many ways. I’ve gone through divorce and death, inheritance problems and all of the horrors that big money brings people.  I really wasn’t going to do it. Three years ago it was suggested that I write the book by Julian and his business manager. I started thinking about it and I thought it might be very good therapy. I thought it would keep me occupied and it hasn’t stopped keeping me occupied."
Cynthia, 2007

"It’s there anyway, it’s in you anyway and you’ve been through it millions of times anyway. The book took me a lifetime to live and six months to write."
Cynthia, 2007

“I think it was probably time, because in retrospect if you think of the age of all of us at this point, if you don’t get the facts down now, then you never will and if it's that important, and it obviously is, then you just do it and that’s what’s happening at the moment"
Cynthia, 2007

"I think the hardest thing for me to do was the audio book. I’m in this tiny little studio in London, earphones on, I’ve got my book in front of me, and nobody’s there and it’s freezing…I’m reading my life and I can hear my voice and that really did me in… Funnily enough it wasn’t John’s death that did it or the divorce that did it… it was actually me reading the fact that Astrid was holding Stuart as he was dying in an ambulance in Hamburg, and I just fell apart, that was the culmination of it, it had to come out somehow. I said, ‘Excuse me, I’m going to have to go outside for at least half an hour, then I’ll come back and finish it.’"
Cynthia, 2007

"Promoting the book is just me expressing and explaining what I’ve written. I’m telling the truth, if you don’t believe it, that’s fine, if you have a different viewpoint, that’s fine, because you’ve got hundreds of books that you compare my book with. I’m not demanding you buy it, you make up your own mind what your situation and your feeling for John and The Beatles is, it’s your choice."
Cynthia, 2007

My favorite part of the John book was their time in Kenwood from 1964 until 1966; John was doing his songwriting with Cynthia as his audience, their private singing duets, John spoiling his wife and son, having fun and spending whatever quality time they had of their 'John-and-Cyn’ when they can unwind, exchange gifts and notes, and be their romantic selves. My favorite part in A Twist of Lennon was their dating years of being in a local coffee shop, holding hands under the table and staring into each other's eyes.

Cynthia and Ray Coleman during the promotional tour in 1985

Besides her two books, Cynthia contributed to Ray Coleman's book, Lennon, published in 1985 and took part in UK's HELLO! magazine in six installments in 1994. Before that, she did take part of Hunter Davies biography The Beatles, published in 1968. The Beatles historians Mark Lewisohn and Martin Lewis have also interviewed her.

"I was still reeling from John's death, I had read things in other books about John that I couldn't believe. I was with him for 10 years. I know what's true about him. All these exaggerations and figments of people's imaginations were eating away at John's memory and eating away at my flesh as well. After years of being portrayed as something I'm not I thought it was time for me to have a platform. I didn't know Ray very well. We had quite a few battles at first. It's amazing we get along so well now. But I trusted his integrity. I was finally convinced that he wasn't looking for scandal. It's been very painful. When I agreed to do this promotion with Ray I didn't expect to feel this way. I agreed to do the tour because I believe in Ray and the book. But I'm reliving this thing with John over and over because I get the same questions over and over about the same painful things. It's like I have a knife in me and people keep twisting it."
Cynthia, 1985

She was also not the only wife to publish a book. Other wives have done so as well:
Pattie: Wonderful Tonight (2007)
Linda wrote a number of photography and cookbooks during her marriage with Paul but no biography unless you count her photographs as a pictorial biography.
Yoko: Grapefruit (1966) and Acorn (2013) but it's more of musings, thoughts, and poetry rather than an autobiography. She has curated a few books about John but hasn't yet written her own autobiography.
Heather: Out on a Limb (1995), A Single Step (2002), Life Balance (2006), and cookbook Love Bites (2010)
Olivia kinda wrote Living in the Material World (2011) but it is more of an accompaniment for the Martin Scorsese documentary on George as the same for Concert For George (2004) as a accompaniment for the 2002 tribute concert… not about her life.
Maureen and Barbara haven't written any books other than some interviews.

John wrote a few books, mainly his art and storytelling:
In His Own Write (1964)
A Spaniard in the Works (1965)
Skywriting by Word of Mouth (1986)

Julian also has a few books under his name, including children books:
Beatles Memorabilia: The Julian Lennon Collection (2010)
Touch the Earth (2017)
Heal the Earth (2018)
Love the Earth (2019)

Julian has considered writing an autobiography, we shall wait and see!

Saturday, March 16, 2019

Breakdown on Marriage

“As you and I well know, our marriage was over long before the advent of LSD or Yoko Ono... and that's reality!”
John, 1976


This post list was inspired by what John publicly wrote to Cynthia in 1976 during the time she was doing interviews, particularly with News of the World. I will post the entire letter(s) in full another day but now I want to go over the list of reasons why John and Cynthia's marriage didn't last… Mind you, this is all speculation and my opinions only. You don't have to agree and you are more than welcome to share your own opinions of what went wrong in the comments (just be nice is all I ask). So, let's give John a benefit of the doubt and explore the top 10 possibilities of why their marriage didn't last.


  1. John
He was away a lot. Even in town, John was away a lot. He was incredibly busy with The Beatles with recording, touring, partying, photo sessions, the lot. I don't think that's entirely his fault though. I can't even blame Brian Epstein for it. It's just the way of life of a musician in the 1960s. It's not just his lack of absence. There's also his drug-taking, infidelities, his old-fashioned views of being the dominant male and breadwinner of the household. John didn't exactly have the best husband-like figure in his own life as his father wasn't around at all and his beloved Uncle George Smith died when John was 13. There was hardly anybody for him to learn what it took to be a husband. Both Paul and George had their fathers, Ringo had his stepfather to be influenced; John didn't really have anybody. Then there's the in depth level on how much John loved/in love with Cynthia as many many people (except me) have question or came to the conclusion that John was never in love with her. Especially comparing to his overrated love story with Yoko Ono.


  1. Cynthia
I like to think that Cynthia didn't have a lot of blame in her marriage breakdown but… it does take two. Well, I think what John was looking for was a partner-in-crime or a dominant partner, or both. I must say and admit that Yoko provided both. Whatever John did, Yoko did too. Whatever Yoko did, John did too. Before Yoko arrived in his life, John did try to get Cynthia to be his partner-in-crime. He wanted a buddy to do drugs with (I don't think Cynthia was wrong on refusing drugs: good for her!) and whatever mischievous ideas he had. But I believe that once Cynthia became a mother, the partnership ended. Cynthia became, in Pattie Boyd's words, more like a mother than a wife. I also don't think Cynthia managed to integrate into the rock and roll style well. Although London may have fascinated her, she was more happier in a small town village. Maureen Starkey had a similar upbringing like Cynthia but managed to blend herself into the entertainment world while married to Ringo Starr and Isaac Tigrett. Cynthia wasn't a partyer, a few are okay but not frequently. Nothing wrong with that (as I am more of a homebody myself) but for John and their marriage, I believe he wanted more pizzazz and surprises; maybe more sex, more mischievous thinking, more fun, to be on his mentality wavelength. After John got hooked on LSD, whatever was left of their partnership started to wind down.


“I don't know. I must have a guardian angel somewhere. I guess it's my boring, down-to-earth attitude that probably sent John running and was the end of the marriage. I see things in black and white rather than grey or colours. It's just my upbringing. I'm a realist.”
Cynthia, 1988


  1. Drugs
A big part of the catalyst that broke up John and Cynthia. There will be a post dedicated to drugs so I don't want to dwell over this, so here's a short version: while John was in Hamburg, he was into pills that gave him and the other Beatles an adrenaline rush to play several hours onstage. When Cynthia visited, she took them too but I don't think the pills really agreed with her. In fact, I don't think any drugs agreed with Cynthia. She didn't take well to marijuana as it made her sick but she didn't really objected John using it as it helped him relaxed. I do think Cynthia did her fair share of it or at most had gotten a contact high. LSD frightened them both at first but John decided to explore it more while Cynthia definitely had a bad reaction every time she took it. As mentioned in #2, John wanted a drug buddy in Cynthia, but her body, mind, and self was just not into it.


"When John discovered drugs I lost him. He had decided his path in life and there was nothing I could do about it. He would just take acid every day in the hope of escaping from me, from Julian, from the Beatles. I tried acid twice but it just made me feel sick. My priority was Julian, while John had no interest in responsibility at all."
Cynthia, 2000


  1. Infidelities
All through their relationship, John did cheat. Maybe it had been exaggerated on how often… some made it as though John had so many women he barely had time for Cynthia or sleep. Yet early on their relationship, John and Cynthia were very inseparable… only John knows the real story but then again John would say he was a proud dirty man-slut. Whatever how it may have been, John covered it up because he didn't want Cynthia to know about it until he met and eventually got involved with Yoko. Before Yoko, John treated his side pieces like toilet paper. I guess John cheating did screw him to be paranoid towards the end of the marriage as he started to get curious on how Cynthia really behaved during their relationship.


  1. The Beatles
I wouldn't say The Beatles were THE blame of the breakdown of the marriage… but, yes … they did ultimately caused the breakdown. Cynthia did seem to understood that she would have to share her man not just with the guys but with the whole world. But that being said, Paul McCartney, George Harrison, Ringo Starr, Pete Best, and Stuart Sutcliffe did like Cynthia and vice versa. On their wedding night, John performed elsewhere. On the time during Julian was born, John was on tour. The Beatles took John away when he really needed to be with Cynthia during these monumental moments. They needed to readjust their relationship as a married parents but it was difficult to do when they were apart with just phones and letters. I do understand that John had no control over the timing and it was his dream to succeed as a musician- Cynthia knew that from day 1. Cynthia did accept it but it couldn't have been easy.


“I lost my first family to do what, make Sgt. Pepper?”
John, 1978


  1. Fame
I know that Cynthia yearned more for the early days when John started becoming more successful and well known. She preferred it. I get it: before John was famous, he was around more. Broke, mind you, but honestly, if John was to be homeless, Cynthia would be cozy in a cardboard box next to the highway alongside with him. They went everywhere together: to a park, to shops, to the movies, to wherever they wanted. As John got famous, he would get stopped, mobbed, and chased after so much so that it was impossible to just go outside and explore the city. They couldn't even live in the heart of the city as it was unbearable. It's a high price of fame. Nowadays it may have been different today but celebrities do still have paparazzi and stalkers while the fan-mobbing have scaled back a bit. If John and Cynthia were together in this day in age rather than in 1964, their freedom to go to wherever they pleased would be a lot easier! Unlike with Yoko Ono, John kept his marriage quiet and private. I don't think Cynthia then didn't like the fame part although she did participate in film premieres and travels. There were, and are, perks but fame does come at a price; from divorce, to death.


  1. Opposite Directions
Right from the very start of their relationship, John and Cynthia were very different from each other. Like night (John) and day (Cynthia). It even baffled their friends- it wouldn't surprise me if they took bets with how long it wouldn't last. At the same time, being the opposite seemed to have worked in balance. John took in so much joy into seeing Cynthia's shocked reactions over his grotesque and dark humor. Cynthia was very shy while John was sociable (up to a point). They had very few things in common: they lost a parent while aged 17; they were blind without their glasses; and they both enjoy reading. They were also artists, however even that has opposite point of views. John doodled, Cynthia detailed. With drugs, John wanted to explore while Cynthia had bad reactions. With raising Julian, John was tough while Cynthia coddled. I would say that around 1966/1967, John and Cynthia were starting to live two separate lives in one big house to the point of being roomies. They fell into a habit of sleeping in the spare room so one night owl would not wake the other. John was still wrapped up in his Beatle world as well as drugs and weird cronies while Cynthia went out and about with her mother. The opposite attraction may have worked in the beginning but it didn't in the end.


  1. Lillian Powell
I don't believe that Lillian's presence helped their marriage one bit. According to Tony Bramwell, Pete Shotton, and many others, John did not like Lillian. Of course, Cynthia tried to downplay it, 'oh yes, they got along for my sake'. At best, it was tolerance. For a better idea of my version on Lillian, think of Marie Barone (played by Doris Roberts) on Everybody Loves Raymond. John would give her money and send her off on shopping sprees just to get her out of the house. John even bought Lillian her own home nearby but that didn't last very long. I do understand why Lillian was around alot: she was very close to Cynthia, her only daughter and baby of her nest; she doted on her first grandchild, Julian; and who would want to leave a luxury apartment or mansion?!? I wish there was some sort of compromise… like, when John was away on tour or in the recording studio, Lillian could be with Cynthia. If John was home, Lillian could be with her two older sons, her friends, travel, be anywhere but Weybridge so John could have peace and quiet with his wife and son.


  1. Magic Alex Mardas
Mr. Creepy. That guy is as mysterious as Jack the Ripper. The only little background things known about him was that he was from Greece. I don't know how exactly he met the Beatles other than through art gallery owner John Dunbar (somewhere around 1965, 1966) but he certainly latched onto John. Alex fascinated John with his far-out engineering inventions and ideas but they never seem to work… he tried to upgrade the recording studio in Apple Corps but nobody was happy about it- George said that they had to strip everything off. Perhaps his ideas were ahead of the times but nothing came of it as you don't see Alex on the list of inventors along with Thomas Edison, Eli Whitney, or Benjamin Franklin. The most cringing thing about Alex was his role in the breakdown of John and Cynthia's relationship. I know he had one. Not just the part where he put the moves on Cynthia while she was staying with him and Jenny Boyd… or when he traveled to Italy to tell her John wants a divorce. I believe he encouraged John in his paranoia that Cynthia may be cheating on him and the interest in Yoko Ono. Telling Cynthia her marriage with John was over got Alex a new Rolls Royce and John was Best Man at Alex's wedding to Eufrosyne Doxiadis on July 11, 1968 (even that relationship is a mystery). I don't think he told John to leave Cynthia for Yoko but he was a 'yes’ man who got prizes (including his own electronic laboratory and head of Apple Electronics from Apple Corps) from John. He definitely took advantage.

  1. Yoko Ono

No explanation necessary other than what's already been posted.