The Inner Light

February 16 - April 12, 1968

Maureen Starkey, Paul McCartney, Jane Asher, unknown, John, Cynthia, Pattie Harrison, and Jenny Boyd in Rishikesh, Spring of 1968

I will be honest with you: I dreaded this post. I knew it would happened eventually, but now it's been a few years since I started this blog. I decided it was time to just get it over with and not have this over my head. This was not the best of John and Cynthia times, it's one of the worst. Let's face it head on:

After the Magical Mystery Tour phase ended, The Beatles started to prepare for their meditation phase in India. During the month of January, John and Cynthia went on their short (final) vacation to Morocco during New Years and The Beatles recorded some music, mostly singles (Hey Bulldog, Lady Madonna), and the animation movie Yellow Submarine to film the final scene in live action (yet, weirdly enough they didn't use their own voices for the animation!). I don't think their marriage was that bad, crumbling? Yes. Living two separate lives under one roof kind of thing. Maybe friendship... since they did go to Morocco, maybe to add spice to their marriage. Perhaps it did work, I mean, the pictures of John and Cynthia going to India looked like they enjoy each other's company. But the moment they arrived and settled in, something shifted different in John. 

"It was very genial, friendly and they were very much like a family. They cracked jokes and engaged in friendly quibbling. They were also resting well and meditating. Harrison, followed by Lennon, was the most interested in the experience. Ringo was the least. All four of them seemed truly kind, with no airs. However, I did feel a kind of distance between Lennon and Cynthia. They were sleeping separately; Lennon and Yoko were frequently writing to each other."

Paul Saltzman, 2018

“The Maharishi Mahesh Yogi came into my life at a traumatic time. It was the late 1960s. I was married to John Lennon, one of the so-called Fab Four. The Beatles were at the height of their fame, but my relationship with John was becoming fraught and distant. Sex, drugs and rock’n’roll had taken their toll on the Beatles. They were exhausted. Too many people wanted too much – all the time. Then Brian Epstein, the band’s manager, suddenly died. We all needed some peace and space and found it at the Maharishi’s ashram in India. I did not know it at the time, but this would be a defining moment of the 1960s, the moment when flower power went mainstream. The pictures of the Beatles, the fashion leaders of the time, sitting cross legged with the Maharishi, were to spark a huge interest in eastern mysticism and meditation. I was in London last week when I heard the Maharishi had died. I was surprised at how shocked I felt. He was part of my life for just a few short months in the late 1960s, but his influence on me has lasted. It’s bizarre: I was never a follower, yet I have a beautiful photograph of the Maharishi holding a rose that I have kept with me ever since."

Cynthia, 2008

"John, always passionate about a new cause, was evangelical in his enthusiasm for the Maharishi, talking about spreading the message to the world. I was a little more sceptical, but I enjoyed the meditation so I was happy to go to India. I hoped, too, that time out of the spotlight would be good for John and me. In fact the opportunity to be away from everything was heaven-sent. I can still see us there, by the Ganges, living in little bungalows with no heating and no luxuries. It was bliss. No one in India knew who the Beatles were so they were not mobbed all the time."

Cynthia, 2008

John and Cynthia on their way to Rishikesh from London on February 16, 1968. They were traveling with Jenny Boyd, George and Pattie Harrison.

On February 15, John and Cynthia visited roommates Alex Madras and Jenny Boyd in Pimlico when Alex tried to talk John out of going to India and go to his guru instead, as Alex was jealous of John's interest in the Maharishi. Did Alex actually had a guru? I don't know, other than he was a very creepy and sketchy guy, I always take his words and actions with a grain of salt. Cynthia seemed to be on my wavelength while John was the opposite: he was practically in awe with Alex. Anyway, with all accounts, John was all for this meditation thing with George. Cynthia was more 'eh, whatever' about it but felt it would be good for John as it didn't involve drugs and it could perhaps help their marriage. 

The weirdest thing is, in Cynthia's first book A Twist of Lennon, she wrote that it was Magic Alex that introduced meditation and Maharishi to the group, not Pattie. In her later book, John, Cynthia corrected herself by naming Pattie the one to introduce meditation. 

"Anyway, in February 1968, we set off to join the Maharishi in Rishikesh, India. Looking  back it was very funny. There were us four girls, Pattie, Maureen, Paul's girlfriend Jane Asher and me, with all these trunks of clothes, having no idea what we were going to need. All we needed it turned out, was a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. The complex was right out in the wilds in tiger country on the banks of the Ganges and it took us 8 hours in an Indian taxi to get there from Delhi. By the time we arrived, we were a sorry, bedraggled-looking crew. Eight hours bumping over those rough roads would have dampened anyone's enthusiasm and the weather didn't help. We'd expected warmth and sunshine and wore light clothes but it was the end of the rainy season and the weather was terrible. It was cold and wet, and the complex which consisted of a group of little bungalows clustered round an open space resembled a barracks. We dragged the blankets off our simple beds and wrapped them round us for warmth and in the pictures that were snatched soon after our arrival we look thoroughly miserable. Yet in many ways things improved tremendously as the days went on. The weather brightened, the sun came out and we took our meals at long bench tables surrounded by white creeper-clad trellis where mischievous monkeys swung down and pinched the fruit from under our noses. India was fascinating. On the outskirts of the compound were Indian tailors working in tents, sitting crossed-legged on the floor stitching away with little sewing machines. I bought some material and had a sari and a long Indian tunic made. During the mornings we'd meditate with the Maharishi, sitting on the roof of his bungalows, then later the more dedicated would continue their studies while us girls, who didn't take it quite so seriously, would gossip or go exploring the local village. There were no drugs, the food was fresh and healthy, and there wasn't supposed to be any booze but in the evenings we'd play cards and inevitably someone would send out in a taxi for wine. We found out later that dozens of people had died from drinking the wine that had been mixed with paraffin or some such substance but fortunately it didn't seem to have any ill effects on us."

Cynthia, 1994

"On February 16 we flew out with George, Pattie, Jenny and Alex Mardas, a young Greek sound engineer we called Magic Alex. From Delhi we took a taxi for eight hours to the Maharishi’s compound of low stone cottages containing five rooms each. When we arrived dozens of people of all ages, creeds and races were gathered to take the Maharishi’s path to enlightenment. Among them were actress Mia Farrow, Mike Love of the Beach Boys and, later, the singer Donovan with his friend, a burly bloke called Gypsy. Donovan was having a romance with Jenny and wrote his hit song Jennifer Juniper for her in India. John and I had a room with a four-poster bed. Close by were the Maharishi’s house, a swimming pool, a laundry, a post office and a lecture theatre where we would gather for regular talks. I loved being in India, away from the fans, hordes of people, deadlines, demands and flashing cameras. Just peace, quiet and sweet mountain air filled with the scent of flowers. Best of all, John and I could be together for much of the time.

Four days later Paul, Jane, Ringo and Maureen arrived. Ringo, wary of the spicy Indian food that he was certain would be served in the communal dining hall, had brought a crate of baked beans and another of eggs. In fact some of the centre’s food was surprisingly ordinary: for breakfast, which was taken at long trestle tables out in the open and often shared with brazen monkeys, we had cornflakes. In the first week we settled into a routine, meditating for several hours a day and going to lectures, then spending the rest of the time on our own pursuits. John had his guitar with him. I drew and wrote poetry. The Maharishi had a laugh like a tinkling bell. He had an aura. I was as cynical as anyone to begin with, but I suppose I’m a perpetual student. I felt he was someone I could learn from. He’d call us for two chats a day to talk about the spiritual life. I didn’t follow the whole thing, just took what was necessary for me. I still meditate occasionally. I have my mantra, a personal word that we were all given, which was to be kept secret and to be repeated over and over. It works: eventually your brain does go to a different level. It empties your mind and gives you space to think."

Cynthia, 2008

"Sitting directly behind them, I looked straight at George Harrison’s shiny hair, clean and beautifully cut in its long, shoulder-length fashion. The delicate girl next to him was his wife, Patty. She was the one who had originally led the group to Maharishi. Next to her was her look-alike sister Jenny Boyd. The third girl was John Lennon’s wife, Cynthia. Although wearing glasses, she was the prettiest of the three. Then came John, who looked like a stern schoolteacher with his granny glasses. His white skin had an unhealthy tinge of gray. During the lecture his hands never stopped moving; he seemed to be doodling. Later I learned he’d been a heavy drug user, especially LSD, but was now off drugs. He undoubtedly had a lot of tension on his nervous system."

Nancy Cooke de Herrera

Paul McCartney, Jane Asher, Ringo and Maureen Starr arrived in Rishikesh on February 19, 1968.

John, Cynthia, Maureen Starkey, and Ringo Starr relaxing while preparation for a class picture with the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi was being set up in Rishikesh, India, March of 1968 

Paul McCartney, John, and Cynthia relaxing in Rishikesh, Spring of 1968

Photographed by Pattie Boyd Harrison

Paul Saltzman came to the ashram after experiencing a heartbreak. At first, Maharishi and his people thought he may be there for The Beatles and refused to let him in. But Paul stayed out in front for days to show he was serious about meditation, not to fanboy around the Beatles; eventually he was allowed in. Paul was from Canada, and got teased by John, Paul, George, and Ringo. Paul left with Ringo and Maureen after being there for a week.

"The morning after my breakthrough meditation I was walking through the ashram when I saw John, Paul, George, and Ringo sitting with their partners - Cynthia Lennon, actress Jane Asher, Pattie Boyd Harrison, and Maureen Starkey - as well as Donovan and Mal Evans at a long table by the edge of the cliff that overlooked the Ganges and Rishikesh. Somewhat nervously, I walked over."

Paul Saltzman

“I saw John and George and Paul and Ringo and Cynthia Lennon and Jane Asher was with Paul. And Maureen, Ringo’s wife, and Patti Boyd Harrison with George, and Donovan and Mia Farrow was there and Mike Love of the Beach Boys and Mal Evans, their roadie.”

Paul Saltzman, 2012

“John talked with that wonderful wry wit, asking me if I worshipped the Queen. His wife, Cynthia, then told them to leave me alone, as I had only just arrived.”

Paul Saltzman, 2018

"I went in search of John, Paul, and George and found them with Cynthia, Jane, and Pattie, sitting at our familiar spot overlooking the river where I'd first met all of them. We all said very warm goodbyes."

Paul Saltzman

"Pattie, Cynthia, and I, and Jane when she was there, would chat quietly, listen to songs and sometimes have our hands painted with henna by one of the Indian women, or be shown the correct way to wear our saris."

Jenny Boyd, 2020

"They were very friendly. Immediately, the girls asked me about getting some clothes made. We made plans to do some shopping in Rishikesh. Maharishi was so happy. He gave out such energy and joy. What a compliment that The Beatles actually came to his ashram ... The celebs seemed happy with their rooms. They indicated that they didn’t want to take their meals alone, that they would eat with the rest. Evidently the casual reception had reassured them that they would not be bothered by the other students. That afternoon The Beatles, their women, and I set off across the river with Raghvendhra, one of the head Brahmacharis, in tow as interpreter. ... The three girls wore long, slim dresses under their overcoats. It was the last of February, still winter in India, and crossing the Ganges one felt the cold humidity creep through. It didn’t seem possible that the ramshackle city of Rishikesh would have much to offer the shoppers, but in an hour’s time our arms were full of purchases—colorful fabrics, saris, long sleeveless vests, thin embroidered kurtas (Indian overblouses), swaths of plush, cheap velvet, and Kashmiri shawls. I’m sure the merchants unloaded a lot of merchandise they figured would never sell. ... The girls were supportive, but the boys made the purchases. They refused to barter, even though Raghvendhra told them it was expected. They especially loved the Khadi shop and all its handspun fabrics. Even John dropped his cynical expression and became excited at the wealth of exotic fabrics. He picked the brightest. Pointing to the gold plush cloth covered with red dots he proclaimed, 'I’ll make me a coat out of this one.' What fun it was for them to leisurely shop around, no one molesting them in any way, no one suspecting that they were special. For the time being, they were completely offstage. As for me, I had to keep pinching myself. Was I really here shopping with two of the most famous personalities in the world? Several days later, after our shopping trip, costumes began to emerge from the tailor’s tent, which were to influence fashion trends of the world for a decade. At first, the tailor, whose creations were to have more impact on the world than Dior or Balenciaga, was completely confused. George and John were using women’s saris for their shirts, and John did use the red and orange velvet for a long coat. It was wild! The girls used men’s dhotis (white cloths wrapped around the waist and brought up through the legs) to fashion pajamas, while saris were turned into long, flowing dresses. Long shirts hung below sleeveless vests, accompanied by pajama-like, baggy pants. On The Beatles it looked good—and comfortable. Other course members started to copy their zany styles. Most of the men were sporting beards by now, and soon it was difficult to tell a Beatle from a chela."

Nancy Cooke de Herrera 

At one point, Jenny fell ill. Maharishi thought it was an "iceberg" and told Jenny to keep meditating. However, by morning while meditating through the night, she was slumped next to her bed, very weak. Pattie found her and sent for a Doctor, who said she had dysentery.

"As I was sitting up in bed the following morning, leaning against my pillow and still feeling weak, John and Cynthia walked into my room. John handed me a picture he'd drawn of a man sitting cross-legged with a turban on his head. He was playing a flute and in front of him was a snake, coiled up in a basket with his hooded head peeking out. The inscription underneath read: 'By the power that's in and the power that's out. I cast your tonsil-light-house out. Love John and Cyn.'"

Jenny Boyd, 2020

"During our time at the ashram, I had many deep conversations with Cynthia Lennon about meditation and her life at home. She confided in me about her concerns for John as she watched him changing before her eyes, the distance between them growing each day and becoming more obvious. When we returned to England, she asked me if she could come to Greece with Donovan, Magic Alex, and me."

Jenny Boyd, 2020

"It was such a joy for me and so inspiring to sit on the roof of our bungalow at the Ashram, to feel the morning sun on our faces or have henna painted on our hands as my sister, Cynthia Lennon and I listened to the sound of John, George and Paul playing their guitars. With my eyes closed, as if in a trance, the birds singing and the sun getting warmer I remember listening to them talking to each other as they tried out new songs."

Jenny Boyd, 2018

John and Cynthia in Rishikesh, Spring of 1968

Photographed by Paul Saltzman 

After arriving in Delhi, there was a six hours drive to Rishikesh by taxis. They were all staying at the Academy of Meditation. All couples originally shared rooms (John & Cynthia, George & Pattie, Paul & Jane, Ringo & Maureen). The bedrooms were basic: four-poster bed, a dressing table, some chairs, and an electric fire. George and Pattie decided to have separate bedrooms after disturbing each other while meditating. I'm sure some hanky panky went on in between as Paul Saltzman observed that they looked very much in love. John and Cynthia also decided to have separate rooms... Cynthia originally thought it was the same reason why George and Pattie split rooms: need meditation space. But, not so, as it turned out. 

"Meditation is a very solitary exercise and to partake one has to be alone. John and I shared our room but found it increasingly difficult to coordinate our timing as far as meditation was concerned. For two people to meditate for days on end in the confines of a single room was very disturbing and difficult. The ideal situation we found was to have our own separate rooms and do our own thing. I think it was at this particular point that John and I began really to go our separate ways, not necessarily mentally but physically. Sometimes we met at mealtimes; sometimes not at all. Depending on our meditation times, we would pass each other on the winding paths between the different buildings, wave, and pass the time of day. But the closeness that we felt at the time of Brian's death was slowly disappearing. We were separate entities and contact was infrequent."

Cynthia, from her 1978 book, A Twist of Lennon

"Patty and her sister Jenny were very chatty and friendly; Cynthia Lennon seemed depressed and quiet. I wondered what it must be like to be the wife of a Beatle. Obviously she wasn’t handling it well, even though the other girls explained that she’d known the group the longest."

Nancy Cooke de Herrera

"John panicked at the accumulating threats from the Princess of Darkness. That was when he decided to go to India with Cynthia to put some distance between himself and Yoko. If he stayed away long enough, he could hope Yoko would just go away. Maybe she'd go back to America, or vanish in a puff of smoke. Her scissors act might go horribly wrong, or while she was bagged up one day the Royal Mail might frank the bag and deliver it to anywhere but India. Yes, a long trip to the ashram, where he could meditate and learn how to be calm and in control, give up drugs and spend romantic moments with Cynthia and glue his crumbling marriage back together, seemed opportune....Even while meditating halfway up a mountain with their heads in the clouds, the Beatles wanted to keep in touch. I also forwarded their mail, including dozens of postcards from Yoko, who, even at that distance, still peppered John with her poems on a daily basis. To save any problems, I put these open cards in a plain manila envelope so Cynthia wouldn't be upset."

Tony Bramwell

"Yoko and me, we met around then. I was going to take her. I lost my nerve because I was going to take my ex-wife and Yoko, and I didn't know how to work it. So I didn't quite do it."

John, 1970

While Tony said one thing, and John said the opposite... of course, John would be more believable. However, I do believe Tony. When John said the idea of having Yoko with him in India, I am 100% certain that Yoko was sitting next to him as he said that. Could you imagine her reaction if John collaborated with Tony to say John was really running away from her? 

"As a couple, George and Pattie were self-contained and quiet. They seemed very much in love. Pattie's younger sister Jenny was always happy, and very beautiful - she was a model at the time. Ringo and Maureen had just had their second child together and seemed so comfortable, like an old married couple. As I spent time with the Beatles, together or individually, Paul was the most overtly warm and friendly. Jane Asher was a lovely hearted woman whose striking red hair framed a freckle-filled face of beauty and intelligence. Unlike the other Beatles and their partners, Jane and Paul were openly tactile and affectionate. John and Cynthia were different. They were both bright and friendly with me but distinctly distant and cool with each other."

Paul Saltzman

"George embraced the meditation and philosophy 100 per cent and started to learn the sitar. John, while not as convinced as George, took it very seriously but Paul and Ringo were not so impressed. Maureen couldn't stand the flies that swarmed everywhere and it wasn't long before she, Ringo, Paul and Jane went home. George, John, Pattie and I stayed for two months. On one level I was enjoying myself. As an artist I loved India. The sights, the sounds, the smells, the extraordinary extremes, were fascinating to me. Yet on a personal level I was unhappy. Something had gone very wrong between John and me. A great coldness had come over him. He withdrew into himself, he hardly spoke to me and it was as if a barrier had come down between us. He got up very early which was odd because he'd never been an early riser and he kept disappearing and wouldn't say where or why. I've found out since that he was going off to collect secret letters from Yoko. She was writing mind-blowing stuff to him such as: 'Watch the clouds, it's me coming over...' which in his mental state he thought was wonderful. But at the time I had no idea of this. All I knew was that I couldn't reach him. It was as if a brick wall had gone up between us. There were no quarrels, no arguments, yet the atmosphere was so bad that we couldn't even meditate together. I'd sit there getting such bad vibes from John that I'd have to move to a different room."

Cynthia, 1994

"But Ringo and Maureen weren’t happy: they missed their children, Ringo was soon tired of eggs and beans and Maureen had a phobia about flies. After 10 days they went home. I was not having the second honeymoon I had hoped for. John was increasingly cold and aloof. He spoke to me very little and after a week or two he announced that he wanted to move into a separate room to give himself more space. What I didn’t know was that each morning he rushed down to the post office to see if he had a letter from Yoko. She was writing to him almost daily. When I learnt this later I felt very hurt. There was I, trying to give John the space and understanding that he asked for, with no idea that Yoko was drawing him away from me and further into her orbit."

Cynthia, 2008

"Maharishi and the elders greeted us and we were shown to our rooms. Initially George and I shared one. It was sparsely furnished, with two skimpy beds, but we kept disturbing each other in our meditation so we ended up with a room each; John and Cynthia were next door to us to begin with but they were not getting on well - John had met Yoko Ono - and after a week or two he moved into a room on his own. I felt so sorry for Cynthia: he received notes from Yoko in the post almost every day saying things like, 'If you look up at the sky and see a cloud, it's me sending you love."

Pattie Boyd, 2007

“There was one day when John and I were sitting alone at the table. He looked up at me and said, 'So how come you’re here?' I wondered about what I wanted to say and then I thought well, why not? I said, 'heartbreak, meditation…' and he said 'Yeah, love can be very tough on us, can’t it.' I said 'Yeah.' Then he said 'You know the really great thing about love, Paul, is you always get a second chance.' I thought he was talking about me and he was but he was also talking about himself and Yoko Ono. I realised this much later… he was falling in love with her although he was here with Cynthia."

Paul Saltzman, 2015

"But for me it was good, India was good for me, and I met Yoko just before I went to India and had a lot of time to think things out there. Three months just meditating and thinking, and I came home and fell in love with Yoko and that was the end of it. And it's beautiful.” 

John, 1969

"It was cruel, yes, but under the circumstances it was difficult for two people to meditate in the same room, and there wasn't much else going on. Our love life had definitely disappeared by then. He was having problems, either because of being so high on drugs or whatever. He found it quite difficult with me, although obviously not with someone else. There are many ways of stimulating someone, but I didn't know the tricks."

Cynthia, 2005

For Cynthia, she mentioned in A Twist of Lennon that she felt like her own woman for the first time. She depended on no one and spent her hours doing art for whoever wanted to hang her drawings and paintings on the wall (Pattie got a painting on her birthday by Cynthia, she still has it!). Cynthia also started to write poetry. Unlike John who would spend days in deep meditation, Cynthia meditated intermittently; although she believed meditation was a wonderful exercise for the mind and body, it wasn't really her thing. Everybody got their own mantra to use to go into a trance like state. I believe Jane was in the same as Cynthia with meditation, but wanted to venture out more, like to see the Taj Mahal and other sights in India, with Paul. However, I think the travel was rather difficult... maybe now it's easier but back then? 

John and Cynthia in Rishikesh, Spring of 1968

The Beatles weren't the only big names at the Ashram, there was also Donovan and his manager Gipsy Dave, actress Mia Farrow with her sister Prudence and brother Johnny. Mia had just broken up with her husband, Frank Sinatra, and Prudence suggested meditation. Prudence got super involved in meditation so much so she wouldn't come out of her room while being in a trance like state. There was concern: Paul, John, and George would play music for her - John even wrote Dear Prudence that soon appeared on The Beatles album (White album) released the same year. I've heard that the Maharishi had put a sexual move on Mia and she left... if I'm not mistaken, she left around the same time as George and John, maybe earlier with Paul? I'm not quite clear on that but Mia recently wrote on her Instagram that she did not like the Maharishi. However, because they were actresses, models, and same age, Mia got close with Jane, Pattie, and Jenny; she later hung out with Maureen in London. I'm not sure her relationship today, but when Cynthia died, Mia retweeted Julian's video tribute for his mother in April of 2015. Mike Love from the Beach Boys was also there, as well as Paul Horn (jazz flute player), Tim Simcox (actor; who John later accused Cynthia of having an affair with during their divorce battle), Richard Blakely, a professor who later wrote his experience in Rishikesh called The Secret of the Mantras, and Nancy Cooke de Herrera, who was a socialite and also wrote her experience in a book, All You Need Is Love: An Eyewitness Account of When Spirituality Spread from the East to the West (excerpts included here). It was Nancy's son Rik that inspired the song The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill after he killed a tiger. While I'm mentioning books, there's also Mia's autobiography, What Falls Away, as she does have a chapter about it in her book. There's was also the only journalist allowed in the ashram, Lewis Lapham.

I suppose the environment and activities of the day were much like camp: there were meal times, meditation, a lecture/talk by the Maharishi, sleep, swimming in the river (which apparently was a no-no), and hanging out, playing and listening to music. For meals, it was all vegetarian. Ringo, with his stomach sensitivity, feared the spiciness Indians were known for, traveled with a case of beans and eggs. George and John were vegetarian, though John eventually went back to meat while George kept it up until he died. Both Paul and Ringo were meat eaters but, as we know now, are famous vegetarians. There were monkeys around, trying to snatch the food away! 

There was a swimming pool, laundry, a post office, and a lecture theater. The scene was breathtaking beautiful with flowers around. Not to be too cut off from the world, the Maharishi made sure there were some outings to the nearby town Deradoon to shop while the streets were filled with hungry children, beggars, and motionless gurus. There was also an arrangement for a masseuse to come and massage the women with her creams and oils... perhaps due to language miscommunication, the lady would follow them around and would sit herself down next to an unsuspecting customer and start massaging vigorously. The women meditators soon learned that when they see her coming, run away to the opposite direction!

"Before returning to the ashram, we went clothes shopping for Donovan. As we drove through Connaught Circle, we saw amazing news posters pasted to the columns of the buildings. They were headlines of the daily papers— Wild Orgies at Ashram and Beatles Wife Raped at the Ashram, were two that caught our eye. We bought copies of three or four papers, and Avi, Donovan, and I read aloud to each other as we left Delhi. 'Listen to this one, ‘Cartons of whisky were seen delivered to Maharishi’s guests at the ashram. Evidently the guru doesn’t want his disciples deprived of their pleasures while learning about the spiritual world. Maharishi teaches that all desires must be satisfied.'' 'And this, it’s unbelievable, ‘Sources close to the Academy of Meditation located in the Himalayas above Rishikesh report that attempts are being made to suppress the fact that one of The Beatles’ wives was raped two days ago. It has not been determined as yet which wife was the victim.'' ... The Beatles came over to greet Donovan, whom they knew and respected. We showed them the newspapers. They were incredulous. Donovan asked, 'Come on, who was the one who got done?' The girls, Patty and Cynthia as the only Beatles’ wives, claimed they hadn’t had the honor. In fact, Cynthia was in a very happy mood."

Nancy Cooke de Herrera

(note: this was before Paul, Jane, Ringo, and Maureen arrived)

Julian under the care of housekeeper Dot Jarlett and grandmother Lillian while his parents were in India, Spring of 1968

"One night, the first week in April, the two remaining Beatles and their wives met with Maharishi to discuss the Guru Dev movie. John held Cynthia’s hand, the first sign of affection I’d seen him show her. She looked almost happy. The movie was to be focused on Guru Dev, Maharishi, and the movement, and would be shot at the ashram and in Kashmir. George kept coming up with ideas, which John would then contradict or affirm. It was clear who the dominant personality was—clearly John had the highest IQ, but it was George who was the spiritual leader. John was in a rare mood that night, ideas for songs and scenes poured from him. 'The only thing is, Maharishi, I miss me little son Julian. Maybe Cyn and me could go back to England and bring him to Kashmir with us. What do you think?' Maharishi thought it was fine, but I was bold enough to suggest, 'It might not be wise, Cynthia, to bring such a young child to India. The food situation would be difficult for you, and dysentery is so dangerous in children. If you have him in good hands, leave him where he is.' Cynthia seemed to agree. 'Well,' stalled John, 'We can make that decision later.'"

Nancy Cooke de Herrera

Meanwhile, John and Cynthia's son Julian was back home in Weybridge with his grandmother Lillian and housekeeper Dot. I remember on Facebook recently someone called out that John and (especially) Cynthia were away from Julian for about three months, making it sound controversial and irresponsible. All I can really say is that I don't think the ashram wouldn't have been an ideal spot for children. Julian was also in nursery school and I gathered that Cynthia didn't want his routine disrupted. I'd say Cynthia tried to make the best parenting decision she could. Besides, Julian doesn't sound angry or destroyed by the India phase at all. 

"When he stayed at our house, we had a little cot and he used to sleep in the same room as my daughter. While John and Cynthia were in India, we stayed at Kenwood and had a birthday party for Julian. He knew a little American girl nearby who was his friend, Lucy."

Dorothy Jarlett 

"We gave Julian his very first real birthday party while John and Cynthia were in India. I had a cake made like a train engine. My husband and I invited some of his friends from the nursery school, little Anne he played with, who lived at the house at the bottom of the hill nearby, and children who also lived in the neighbourhood. Mrs. Powell got him a drum set and he loved that. We made a little film of it, with Julian learning to play. He was very happy."

Dorothy Jarlett

Lillian got Julian a drum set? I always heard it was John that did that. The only logic explanation would be John wrote to Lillian or pre-ordered it or something like that and had Lillian sign for it, pick it up. I'll stick to that. 

"And I remember my fifth birthday. The cake was a Casey Jones steam train."

Julian, 2011

"Probably my earliest memory of my father was when I was about three years old and he sang happy birthday to me. We were living in Weybridge, Surrey, and Dad threw a birthday party for me; he brought in a long cake shaped like a train, festooned with candles. He and mum both sang to me... it was a great event for me."

Julian, 1981

Yikes! Neither John nor Cynthia were present at the birthday party with the train cake... unless the train cake happened more than once? I am sure Julian does have a genuine memory of his parents singing Happy Birthday as there had been a couple of years John was present for Julian's birthdays, maybe 1966 (when he did turn 3) or 1967. Julian also admitted in recent years that he always had a terrible memory. There's a possibility that he could've combined a few birthday memories as one. 

"The only time I broke through was on Julian's birthday on April 8. Julian was at home in Weybridge with Mum but nevertheless we wanted to mark his big day. The Maharishi invited us to his bungalow and there was a little ceremony during which he opened his trunk and brought out an exquisite set of hand-painted soldiers for Julian, as well as a beautiful outfit of Indian clothes. It was as if he sensed the rift between John and me and was trying to push us together again. Afterwards, as we walked back to our quarters, John suddenly turned to me. 'I do love you Cyn,' he said, clearly moved. 'I love you so much. I really love you.' It sounds soppy when you write it down but he came to me in such a strong way, I knew he meant it and I was so happy. I thought that's fantastic. It's going to work out after all. Sadly, I was wrong. I think that just for a moment, the Maharishi's words had touched him. For a moment he realised what he had. He had a son, he had a wife, two people who loved him very much, he had a beautiful home, he had gifts from the gods and he was on the verge of throwing them all away. For a little while he hesitated but not for long. The moment passed."

Cynthia, 1994

"I was very young at the time and it seemed that only George, out of all the boys, stuck with it in the end."

Julian, 2010

George and Pattie Harrison leaving the ashram

Ringo and Maureen left first, after 10 days, on March 1st.Ringo was tired of eating eggs and beans while Maureen had an insect phobia - especially flies. According to Paul, Maureen had a talent of knowing exactly where the flies were and even got trapped in her room because a fly was on the other side of the door! They also missed their children, Zak (2 and a half years old) and Jason (6 months old). Paul and Jane left on March 25th as Jane had an acting commitment she couldn't get out of and Paul wanted to oversee The Beatles' Apple company himself.

Soon Magic Alex arrived near the end of the stay, it's never a good sign with him around stirring up trouble. He was with an American girl who later claimed that the Maharishi was inappropriate with her. Cynthia had noted that Alex never meditated, he was more interested in hanging out as if he was on vacation. I personally think that Alex purposely missed John back in England and decided enough was enough, so he went over to end this phase so John can get back to England and enjoy being spoiled of attention, money, and narcissism. Can you tell I don't like Alex? Alex also smuggled in some alcohol as it was forbidden in Rishikesh. He got a hold of some Indian wine but it turned out in the next day newspapers that the wine had poisoned hundreds of Indians. Luckily, no one got sick other than from guilt: Alex, Cynthia, Pattie, and two American mediators indulge. (Not surprisingly) George and (very surprisingly) John did not drink any smuggled poisoned wine. Probably from Alex's influence, John went from a believer to a nonbeliever; not just the allegations, but the attention Maharishi had been getting from celebrities, money, and recognition. He even wrote the song Sexy Sadie. Cynthia was sad that the Maharishi didn't get a chance to tell his side of the story and didn't believe it. George later forgave and reestablished a relationship with the Maharishi. I don't think Pattie believed it either, like Cynthia. 

“Magic Alex came over and I knew he was up to no good. He had come to visit me the night before we went to India, and John and Cynthia were there. He was still trying to get John to go to his guru instead. So there was a real jealousy there, because he thought he was John’s friend, and didn’t want anyone in his way. So when he arrived, I thought, ‘Uh-oh, he’s here to make trouble.’ I just had this feeling. I’d see him walking around the ashram hand in hand with this woman, and I could sense there was something being cooked up. Then he told John that the woman had said that Maharishi had tried something on her, and that Mia Farrow had said the same thing. So John went to George, and they both went to go and see Maharishi.”

Jenny Boyd, 2020

"Then something happened that shook all of us. A couple of weeks before we were due to leave, Magic Alex accused the Maharishi of behaving improperly with an American girl who was a fellow student. Without allowing the Maharishi an opportunity to defend himself, John and George chose to believe Alex and decided we must all leave.  I was upset. I was surprised that John and George had both chosen to believe Alex. It was only when John and I talked later that he told me he had begun to feel disenchanted with the Maharishi’s behaviour. He felt that, for a spiritual man, the Maharishi had too much interest in public recognition, celebrities and money. I disagreed. But by dawn the next morning Alex had organised taxis from the nearby village and we left on the journey back to Delhi. After eight weeks the dream was over. I hated leaving on a note of discord and mistrust. But John was running away and I had little choice but to run with him. My last glimpse of the Maharishi was of him sitting quietly, as if he had been betrayed. He was baffled that we were packing up and that hurt me. The journey home was long and grim. I was close to tears and John was paranoid, afraid that the Maharishi would take his revenge on us in some way. Alex had discovered that if we hurried we could make the night flight to London. I hated the rush, which seemed unnecessary, but with the others setting the pace we hit the road and just made the flight. Sad as I was at the way the Indian trip had ended, it was wonderful to hold Julian again. We had brought him back six little Indian outfits and some delicate hand-carved wooden soldiers, gifts from the Maharishi for his fifth birthday a few days earlier. He looked adorable in his Indian clothes and was thrilled to have mum and dad at home. John continued to be distant towards me. Now we were away from the others and the charms of India, I felt increasingly afraid and depressed. John and I were back in the same bed, but the warmth and passion we had shared for so long were absent. What I hadn’t allowed for was that John’s history, his attitude to marriage and the family were very different from mine. He had hardly ever seen his parents together: at five he had been abandoned by his father and, effectively, his mother too. Given how often and uncannily we repeat the patterns of our parents, I should, perhaps, have been more prepared for John to leave his own marriage and five year-old son. But I was too young, too inexperienced and too determinedly optimistic to take it seriously. I had thought our magical interlude with the Maharishi would be the making of our marriage – but in reality it just presaged the end."

Cynthia, 2008

"Needless to say, it was Magic Alex who'd spread the damning allegations that the holy man had been seen fondling the breasts of one of his more nubile young meditators. George and Cyn refused to believe a word of it, but eventually agreed to go along with John's decision to confront the Maharishi."

Pete Shotton, 1983

"Coming around the last turn in the road, we met a puzzling sight. A taxi stood at the ashram entrance and George Harrison was loading suitcases. His shiny, long hair hung over his flushed face as a result of his efforts. He paused to greet us, 'Well, you’re just in time to say a fast farewell.' 'What do you mean? Where are you going?' At that moment, a teary-eyed Patty Harrison joined her husband. Patty, delicate and pretty, was usually serene and friendly. At this moment she was obviously distressed. 'We have to leave because of a misunderstanding.' 'But only a few nights ago we were discussing all your plans for making the movie of Maharishi’s life. You had definitely decided to go to Kashmir with the group and finish the course. Will you still meet us there?' As I asked this, an angry John Lennon strode up to the car, 'We’re not going to join Maharishi there or anywhere. We’ve ’ad it. If you want to know why, ask your fuckin’ precious guru!' His thin face was tight. Behind his granny glasses, his sharp eyes were full of fury. 'Cyn, get your ass out here! I want to get out of this bloody place, now, for Christ sakes!' Cynthia was also in tears. I asked the two girls, who had been so thrilled with Maharishi and his course, 'What has happened? I have the things you asked me to buy for you.' Taking packages out of my tote bag, I handed them over. 'You were all fine this morning. Does Maharishi know you’re leaving?' I could not comprehend what was happening. Before she could answer, John snorted, 'Does he know we’re leaving? That’s the laugh of the day!' Cynthia spoke with great distress as she was hustled into the taxi after Patty, 'We are so unhappy. I can’t explain what happened. It is all a big mistake, but the boys insist on leaving.' ... The Beatles and their entourage had seemed blissfully content. Several groups of personal friends from England had visited them at the ashram; Jenny Boyd, Patty’s sister, had left with one of these groups. Also, Paul and Jane had been so happy when they said goodbye. A few days before there had been a special puja out in the middle of the ashram. A space had been cleared for a flower-covered trellis, which shaded an intricate design of colored rice and combed sand. Patty and Cynthia had appeared in gowns made from saris, their feet decorated Indian fashion. Their soles were painted vermillion and scalloped around the edges. On each toe was a toe ring and they wore anklets with bells. Everyone admired them. John had been popping up everywhere snapping photos. He seemed open and happy with everyone."

Nancy Cooke de Herrera

George, Pattie, John, Cynthia, Jenny, and Alex left the ashram by taxis but went in different directions. George and Pattie remained in India to the south while John and Cynthia went back to London. Getting to the airport in Delhi was a nightmare: the taxi driver didn't understand or speak a word of English, the taxi itself looked like it could fall apart at any bump on the road - sure enough the car broke down - John and Cynthia were left with no food, no drink, it got dark, and no idea where they were. John decided it was time to hitchhike and got a ride by two Indian men, one was a rather a fast driver, to get them to the next town to be warm, fed, and drinks, as well as calling another taxi to continue on to Delhi at a hotel. Cynthia didn't understand why the rush to get back to England, but John was eager (hello, Yoko!). Poor Cynthia, she didn't believe these allegations about the Maharishi and was willing to stay longer as intended. That being said, Cynthia was thrilled to be reunited with Julian. She was away from him for about three months - the longest mother and son had been apart. 

During the plane ride home, John got drunk and told Cynthia all about the affairs he had behind her back, which I already covered in When the Marriage Ends, Vol. 1.

"When they went away on holidays, my husband Bernard and I would stay at Kenwood. When they came back from India, Julian was looking out of the window and he came running up to my husband and said, 'Bern, there’s a funny man coming up to the door.' When we opened the door, he said, 'Julian, that’s your dad -- he’s just wearing Indian clothes and he’s grown a beard.'"

Dorothy Jarlett