Right of Family Privacy

John and Cynthia at his In His Own Write luncheon, April of 1964

Early on, John must have known how difficult fame could be on Cynthia and Julian. Girls (and some boys) would not only scream and make a grab on John, they were also voyaging to wherever he lived. Obviously they would encounter his wife and baby. Same with reporters/photographers hoping for a front page attention money grabber shot… much like today! However, in 1964, it wasn't as bad as it is today. There was no social media, no TMZ… there were photographers floating around the streets but I don't think the term paparazzi came about until around the time Princess Diana died in 1997. There was a time where there were a few and far between moments, there was obsession, yes, but not as tense and there was a respectable limitations in 1964. People knew things but kept their mouths shut. Now? 6 or more digits of a check dangling in your face hoping for a juicy piece of gossip to put out there. Now, I don't know how John would really know this: to be honest, I can't think of anybody in John's position to know what to do. He may have gone with his instincts. John didn't exactly have anybody in his position to look up to: Elvis Presley wasn't married until 1967, Buddy Holly was married but wasn't exactly a 'dreamboat’ despite being 22 before his death, Bill Haley was married but was practically a middle-aged man, Ricky Nelson was a dreamboat but his girlfriend/wife was integrated into his family's TV show, The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet. Same with Chuck Berry, Fats Domino, Little Richard, Fabian, Jerry Lee Lewis, you name them, none of them weren't exactly in John's level: a handsome young dreamboat that can make girls swoon with a bonus talent of being a talented musician who had a wife and baby at home. John also quickly learned the line between public and private lives. To us, the fans, John was a musician, songwriter, author, actor, a place to showcase his talent through music, films, and art. To Cynthia and Julian, John was a father, husband, the breadwinner who wore his glasses that majority of the public didn't know until a few years later behind closed doors. I suppose going through magazines with celebrities posing at home with their families was a turn off for John, although he did participate on rare occasions (1965 and 1967, but more about those at another time). In 1966, after John made his The Beatles were more popular than Jesus comment, there was a kidnapping threat on Julian that understandably upset John and especially Cynthia; it does explain why John tend to keep Cynthia and Julian away from The Beatles’ popularity. John continued to dislike seeing his children in magazines and newspapers up until he died in 1980. John also must have known that his fame would be hard on Julian, and later Sean. Nevermind that both boys would be following their father’s musical footsteps and would be constantly compared to John.

A 'paparazzi' shot of Cynthia outside her London apartment, 1964

"I like to keep my work and my private life separate, which is why I keep Cynthia out of the picture. I took her to America because a trip like that comes once in a lifetime, and she deserved it. I'd dearly have loved to take her to Australia, but the schedule looks too grueling."

John, 1964

“I want my wife to lead a normal life and not be pestered night and day just because she’s married to one of the Beatles. My wife married me, not because I’m a Beatle, but because she loves me. Why should she have to be bothered by publicity?”

John, 1964

“I think Cynthia brought out a soft side to John we didn't see very often. He really protected her and Julian in the early days and made sure they weren't being harassed or bothered so he denied he had a family. She was a really nice girl, always made me feel like I wasn't the runt of the band.”

George Harrison

“Mum and I really lived an isolated life, away from the madness of the Beatles. Dad protected us from a lot of that for a long time.”

Julian

"At first it was quite easy-going because I was kept away from any publicity; so much so that once I was left standing with all our luggage whilst John and the other Beatles pulled out of the station on the train! I was surrounded by the fans and nobody recognised me. A policeman thought I was another fan and stopped me getting on the train. And that wasn't the first time it had happened!"

Cynthia, 1999

I have to say, I saw your wife on TV and she is very, very lovely (Interview, April of 1964)

“My wife? What was she doing on television?”

Filmed with you in New York. You didn't know, but you were

“When was she on?”

At one particular time when you were making a guest appearance in the U. S. and they panned the cameras off on her.

“Oh! Sneaky.”

You didn't know a thing about it, did you?

“No!”

Why do you prefer not to talk about your marriage? (Interview, June of 1964)

“For only one reason- that sort of thing is personal. It's really private business.”

But what if your fans want to know?

“For the record, here are the facts: I met Cynthia in Art School and I flipped for her. Soon, we were married. We now have one 8 month old son, Julian."

Where do you live?

“For the time being, we stay with Aunt Mimi or Cynthia's Mum when we're not traveling. I try to take Cynthia everywhere I go.”

Does she like the notoriety of being your wife? (Interview, 1964)

She prefers to just stay in the background as long as the people know that I'm married. She just wants to be a normal housewife as much as she can be, married to a Beatle, mind you.

You've kept your son out of, uh - out of the press. Has that been your own doing, or is it that the press is not really interested in your son? (Interview, February 1965)

“I don't know, you know. They want pictures, I suppose, but - you know, I just - he's gonna have enough problems as it is being my son, getting pictures in when he's a kid, y'know. I don't like family pictures, anyway.”

Is Julian ever bothered, John, because having a, obviously, very famous father? (Interview, September of 1974)

“Well, ‘cause he doesn't know anything different, you see. You know, if you are the 'son of’, I guess you're lumbered with it, you know? He’s very normal, in the nicest sense of the word. And I think that's probably due to his mother who sort of, you know, put him - we made sure he went into ordinary schools, you know. And mixed with ordinary kids. So I think he’ll survive it as well as you can survive being the son of Dracula or whatever.”

“Before we got to Disneyland, John said firmly, ‘We have to watch out for photographers. I don’t believe in having a kid’s picture taken just because he has a famous dad. I hate all those stars using their families to get free publicity by having themselves photographed with their children. If I see a photographer, I’ll break his fuckin’ camera.’”

May Pang, 1983

"It's nice of them to show just the back of the baby. I don't want pictures of Sean going around. Most stars, as soon as they have a baby, put it on the front page: 'I've just had a baby!' I'm not interested in that. It's dangerous. You know, we make no pretense of being average Tom, Dicks or Harry – we make no pretense of living in a small cottage or of trying to make our child into an average child. I tried that game with my son Julian, sending him to a comprehensive working-class school, mixing with the people, but the people spat and shit on him because he was famous, as people are wont to do. So his mother had to finally turn around and tell me to piss off: 'I'm sending him to a private school, the kid is suffering here.'"

John, 1980

Interestingly enough, as much as John wanted to keep Cynthia (Julian and Sean) away from the spotlight, he had no problems with flaunting his relationship and marriage to Yoko Ono to the press and public. I’ll save this thought for another post.