Wild Ride: The Dating Years

Tony Carricker, Cynthia, John, and Jon Hague

For Cynthia, dating her new boyfriend wasn't easy. John had a lot of anger in him: starting with having an absentee father, a mother who had very few options of the times for her to keep her son under her care, and ended up living with his Aunt. His mother had children with another man and living a life as a wife despite never divorcing John's father. As John became a teenager, he spent a lot of time with Julia and was at her house when the policeman came by with news of Julia's death. Julia died on July 15, 1958 after being hit by an off duty drunk policeman while crossing the street. Right after her death and drifting away from Thelma Pickles, John got involved with Cynthia. John also drank alcohol heavily and could be temperamentally difficult. He had his fair share of fights, confrontations, and sudden mood swings where he would be happy and loving, sarcastic and livid a second later. Cynthia never knew what to expect or hardly hints of warning.

“I remember he had a great deal of pain and insecurity in him, that was constantly trying to come out. His father left home when he was a child and his mother went to live with someone else, so he was brought up by his Aunt Mimi. And he was very happy for years. When he was 15, he met his mother again and they got on famously for a year. Then she was killed in an accident right outside his home. When I met him a few months later he had a great chip on his shoulder.”

Cynthia, 1976

“Catch? When I met him, he wasn't a catch. If he hadn't been a Beatle he’d have been a bum. Stuart was the brilliant artist but Stuart didn't have that brilliant humor. They were a good foil for each other. John was screwed up from the beginning, so when it came to any pain he had to switch off. He couldn't take it. That's when he would disappear into his own world or become cold. He was very selfish in that respect.”

Cynthia

“John was in constant need of proof of love and security and he was constantly testing people for that proof.”

Cynthia

“He didn't talk about his mum to anybody but me. It shattered his life. He often said how horrible it was that he’d lost her just at the time she was becoming his best friend. I could see the feeling welling up deep inside him, then he would say something like that and closed down. I’d say, 'Come on, John, I want to know all about you,’ and he’d shake his head as if to say no. It was obviously too painful for him to open up very much. I'm sure that's why he went completely crazy at college and why the combination of drink and anger made him so aggressive. It was a bitter rage. When he became successful as a Beatle he was a different person altogether. The aggravation was restrained. He became gentle. He still drank but he didn't get so aggressive.”

Cynthia, 1985

“It was like living on a knife’s edge. I don't think I ever drew the real John out. I don't think he ever got over the tragedy of his mother. Most of his life was a bit of an act. He was very, very jealous and very possessive and I was aware of his jealousy but not his violence.”

Cynthia, 2007

“I was totally under his spell but I was really quite terrified of him 75% of the time.”

Cynthia

“I think she offered him a kind of mother thing. She was so warm and gentle. She was the kind of person anyone would have been proud to have as a mother.”

Thelma Pickles

There were two major problems that Cynthia had with John:

1. His temper and sudden mood swings
2. His jealousy and possessiveness

Over time, John seemed to have cooled off. He still got jealous and switched moods without warning. But once he realized Cynthia loved him and wanted to be with him, John relaxed. Despite this, John wanted all of Cynthia's attention; her college work started to suffer, she saw less of her friends and her mother. She started to play hooky to go to the cinema (mostly to make-out), going to a cafe or to Ye Cracke, or to Stuart's for some lovey dovey stuff.

“He used to say I was his rival for Cynthia's attention.”

Phyllis Mackenzie, 1985

“I was in sort of a blind rage for two years. I was either drunk or fighting. It had been the same with other girlfriends I’d had. There was something the matter with me.”

John, 1968

“I was frightened of him. He was so rough. He wouldn't give in. We fought all the time. I thought if I give in now, that’ll be it. He was really just testing me out. I don't mean sexually, just to see if I could be trusted, to prove to him that I could be.”

Cynthia, 1968

Opposites Attract

John and Cynthia outside Liverpool College of Art in the Spring of 1960 with Jon Hague (behind Cynthia) and Tony Carricker (behind John).

John and Cynthia were different from each other like night and day. Once they became a couple, the people around them scratched their heads in puzzlement and certain that the relationship wouldn't last. From their first impressions, Cynthia thought John was rude, disgusting, arrogant, and he scared her; John thought Cynthia was posh, snobby, trim and proper. Yet John also thought she was attractive- Brigitte Bardot potential type. John liked to joke around, play hooky from school while Cynthia was a serious student with a sweet heart. He dressed in leather, she dressed in cotton. She came on time for their dates, he would arrive late. They had very few things in common.

• John and Cynthia lost a parent as teenagers.
• John and Cynthia had poor eyesight.
• John and Cynthia were book readers.

They were both well aware of this- yet it worked for awhile. They balanced it out. Cynthia became an important person in John's life, along with Stuart Sutcliffe, Paul McCartney, and his Aunt Mimi Smith. Despite their objections, many believed that Cynthia was a positive influence for John.

“When I met him a few months later, he had a great chip on his shoulder.”

Cynthia

“He had finally found someone who took the edge off his anger.”

Jon Hague

“I was immediately struck by how different this attractive, well-bred, young woman was from all the lowlife scrubbers John had lately been associating with. Cyn proved to be exceptionally polite and and almost painfully shy, and I couldn't help but think she was perhaps too fragile a flower to be in John's hands. But if John ever seriously mistreated her, I was never aware of it first hand, and Cyn’s unwavering devotion certainly helped to exercise some of the pain of Julia’s loss.”

Pete Shotton, 1983

“I’d thought she'd be good for him, temper his aggression. I knew she'd have to tailor herself into looking like Brigitte Bardot for him, and I remember reflecting on the fact that he teased her so much about being so proper. I remember thinking, 'He’s got what he wanted again.’”

Thelma Pickles, 1985

“Cynthia was a catch for John. She could have had anyone she wanted. She had lovely eyes and the most beautiful pale skin. And she was the sweetest, nicest person you could ever meet.”

Ann Mason

“She was very pretty Bardot-like, and I enjoyed looking across the canteen at her. It was certainly surprising that a girl like Cynthia had been caught by this shit called Lennon. They looked at each other adoringly. They were totally fixated.”

Michael Isaacson, 1985

“John's friends were a bit put off though. Cynthia was far too respectable to fit into the image of a rock 'n’ roller’s moll. John had his own ideas about his perfect woman.”

Julia Baird

There were noticeable changes in John and Cynthia, individually, personality, and appearance. John started wearing more suits (that belonged to his late Uncle George Smith) along with his leather. As for Cynthia, well, that deserves her own blog post! During the lusting and attraction stage, John hid his giddiness and lovely dovey slop from his friends and family. Once they were officially a couple, John revealed his giddiness to those closest to him.

“About a fortnight after John and Cyn started going together, I happened to stop in at Mendips a few moments before she was due to turn up. Though I was expected elsewhere, John insisted that I stick around. 'You’ll want to see this one,’ he said, 'She’s not Brigitte, but she's really all right.’ I couldn't remember John ever having seemed so excited about a girl, he even kept running to his bedroom window to check whether Cynthia's bus arrived.”

Pete Shotton, 1983

“One day, not long after we had first met Cyn, I was at Mendips with John and he told me that Cyn was coming from town on the bus. I was 12 then and I was looking forward to seeing her again, wondering what arty studently clothes she would be wearing. Mendips is right on the main road, which meant that you could see the bus stop if you looked through the upstairs windows, which was why John ran up and down the stairs to his bedroom whenever he thought he heard a bus engine. You could hear whatever or not the bus stopped to let the passengers on or off. When the bus did indeed deposit Cynthia on the pavement, John shouted 'Yes!’ and then flung himself downstairs to watch for her coming through the gate. Then he sauntered through the kitchen, as if he didn't even know she was coming and he was bumping into her in his own garden by sheer good luck! I couldn't believe his cool. I loved it! Cynthia was dressed in black from head to toe, just like John. A couple of art students in love and looking like art students… in love. It was tangible.”

Julia Baird