All For Charity

 

All You Need is LOVE

Julian and Cynthia at the The Beatles' Cirque du Soleil LOVE show in Las Vegas on June 30, 2006

The last time Cynthia saw Paul and Ringo was on June 30, 2006 in Las Vegas during the event of The Beatles' Cirque du Soleil LOVE show. Let's start from the beginning to give LOVE a backstory: 

Before he died in November of 2001, George became friends with Cirque du Soleil founder Guy LaLiberte through their love of car racing after meeting at the Formula 1 auto-racing circuit in 1995. In 1999, George had an idea and talked about it with Guy: a Beatles themed Cirque du Soleil show. In 2000, George invited Paul McCartney (with Heather Mills) and Ringo Starr (with Barbara Bach) to see some Cirque du Soleil shows, and with Yoko Ono’s approval (on behalf of John Lennon), the LOVE project went ahead. After George's death in 2001 and Olivia now on board, the LOVE project went on as planned. George Martin and his son Giles were enlisted to mix the songs up for the show. 

"George was very keen to inspire the others and, in fact, brought Guy together with Yoko, Paul, Ringo and himself in June 2000, and Guy made sort of a proposal in his way that was so seductive, I think. He's bohemian.” 

Olivia Harrison, 2006

“Actually, it was George's vision. George and Guy Laliberte had a friendship and they had this creative spark of a moment and, you know, George was around just long enough to transmit that to all of us. And through everyone's effort it came through.” 

Olivia Harrison, 2007

Olivia Harrison

Ringo Starr and Barbara Bach

Yoko Ono

The LOVE show was held at the Mirage Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas, Nevada. It's one of the rare Cirque du Soleil shows that does not tour. If you want to see LOVE, you'd have to come to Las Vegas. I got to see it in 2008; the sound was everywhere, the performers were everywhere, you would need to have eyes all around our head just to see everything. It's pretty chaotic. But, wow! Beautiful! I was amazed! It premiered on June 30, 2006. Olivia and her son Dhani, Yoko, Ringo and Barbara, Paul (who just separated from his wife Heather Mills), George Martin with his wife Judy and Giles attended. Yoko invited Julian and Cynthia. Now.... I have heard that Yoko invited only Julian and he turned around and bought along his mother (and her husband Noel Charles); since then, Paul, Ringo, Olivia, and Yoko had been weary to invite Julian. Why weary? Well, Cynthia's John autobiography had just come out several months before in late 2005 where it's quite clear that Yoko wasn't Cynthia's favorite person. Cynthia also confirmed George's affair with Maureen, so I'm sure Ringo and Olivia weren't so thrilled either... but that's pure speculation. From some reliable news sources, Yoko invited both- maybe perhaps to show peace in the family? Or extend an olive branch? Whatever the case may have been, I don't think Cynthia enjoyed herself as much as she could've, for two reasons:

1) obviously Yoko. As mentioned earlier, Cynthia's recent book came out and it did not paint Yoko in a positive light... so, Cynthia was still feeling the burns, especially when it came to Julian and his rightful inheritance and place in The Beatles family. To her credit, Yoko tried the best of it, sitting with Cynthia during the after-party, posing for photographs (oddly, none of Cynthia and Yoko were published). Yoko even attempted a conversation but Cynthia wasn't interested in a polite manner. 

“Thank you for coming to my party.”

Yoko, to Cynthia, 2006

A journalist took noticed and later spoke to Cynthia about it. Cynthia was not amused and she didn't hide it.

"You saw her talking to me. It’s not like she gave me her phone number and said let’s get together. I think they call that a photo op.”

Cynthia, 2006

2) Another reason for Cynthia's dark mood was getting sad news earlier that day: Cynthia received news that a good friend back home in Spain passed away. 

“Between that and the show, I was close to tears at the end. I mean, the show really moved me. I was just at that point where I was going to start crying.” 

Cynthia, 2006

Julian and Cynthia during the after-party

Two years after the big event, I was there in 2008 for Beatles Fest and to see the show. During the Fest, a number of guests attended the premiere, so I took an opportunity to ask how Cynthia was treated. I basically got the same answers in different voices: Cynthia mostly kept to herself during the after-party but there was a family vibe going on. Cynthia had plenty of familiar faces to talk to, especially Judy Martin, Paul's brother Mike, Peter Asher, so I don't think Cynthia was treated as a total outsider by anybody there. Brian Ray, Paul's touring band member, has said he met Cynthia there.

“Have you already met Cynthia and Julian Lennon? I really admire them.” Twitter Question

"yes, LOVE them." Brian Ray, 2011

"But, the last time I saw them [Paul and Ringo], which is after quite a long time, was in Las Vegas when they did the show Love. That was a reunion that happened for the first time since before we were divorced, which was really lovely." 

Cynthia, 2009

Paul McCartney and Julian

Julian with Dhani Harrison

Julian and Yoko

Meanwhile, her son Julian had a blast! He hugged Paul, he posed pictures with Dhani and Yoko, he really enjoyed himself. Julian even spent a few days helping to spread the word to see LOVE on his Facebook and other social media accounts (except Instagram, it didn't yet exist, nor I think Twitter either). 

"It's really beautiful to have all the families here- it's like a reunion. I saw Paul and we gave each other a big hug." 

Julian

As mentioned, it would be the last time Cynthia saw Paul and Ringo, as well as Olivia and Barbara, Mike too. Not quite sure on George and Judy Martin though- I think there was another get together afterwards but more on that another day. Of course, nobody knew that this would've been that last time for Cynthia, Paul, and Ringo... but, it was.

Rest in Peace John

"I would like to say how terribly upset we are at the sudden and tragic death of John Lennon. I have always had the deepest affection for John since the divorce and have always encouraged his relationship with Julian, which I thought was the best. Julian, of course, is particularly upset about it. It came so suddenly. Julian remained very close to his father in recent years and is hoping to follow a career in music. He was looking to his father for guidance. Julian was hoping to see his father shortly. We don't know what will happen now."

Cynthia, 1980

John during the day at home in The Dakota, New York City, on December 8, 1980

Photographed by Annie Leibovitz

“You know, dad and I had been getting on and speaking a lot more on the phone, you know, when I was sort of 14, 15, 16 and 17. And I just remember I was living in North Wales at the time and I’d spent six months or a year in boarding as well and I’d finally come home. And I was living at mum’s house and I was finishing up at school and I remember him playing Starting Over over the phone, he just mixed it. And he played it over the phone and I was living in the attic in the house in this street called Castle Street in a town called Ruthin, and I remember hearing it and saying I loved it, I absolutely loved it. I didn’t know what to expect from this new album of his, Double Fantasy. And I’d heard that and I told him how much I loved it and then obviously, what happened happened. It was literally, I don’t know whether it was the same day or night after or a couple of, it was right within that time period that I woke up with the unfortunate news of, I woke up in the middle of the night with the chimney falling in into my room at the house and I just remember that as being the last kind of moments, listening to him being extremely happy in a happy place, and doing what he loved, and the music that he played me at that particular point, Starting Over, and some of the other album tracks. I was very happy for him and looking forward to seeing him again. Anyway, in another dimension.” 

Julian, 2020

December 8, 2020 marks the fortieth anniversary of John Lennon's death. 1980. I did not exist then, I entered the world almost a year later so I did not experience this loss. There's pros and cons.... a mixed bag of feelings. I would have loved to have had the opportunity to live in the same lifetime as John. However, I am relieved in some ways that I never got to experience his death. That magnitude of loss, I sometimes wondered if I would have survived that. I've been through tragic losses like Princess Diana and Robin Williams, where you're glued to the TV and tears streaming down the face. My mom said she was in bed for three days, crying over John. 

Well, I don't want to go into every fiber detail there is over John's death. You're getting enough of it as it is on television, magazines, and social media. Since this is a John and Cynthia blog, I'll just focus on her side of the story instead. 

"I was 17 when I lost my father, John was 17 when he lost his mother and Julian was 17 when he lost his father. He and John were just starting to talk together when some nutcase decided to knock him off."

Cynthia, 2000

Julian and Cynthia leaving home to go to the airport, followed by Zak Starkey, on December 9, 1980 in North Wales

In December of 1980, Cynthia's marriage to John Twist was struggling, barely hanging by the thread. Probably staying mainly together over their restaurant, Oliver's Bistro, and Cynthia trying to hold on as it was her third marriage... I don't think she was quite ready to quit and was praying a miracle would happen to save their marriage. They were cordial, obviously strained but tolerating their presence. Besides that, it was Christmas season and everyone was in a festive spirit, putting up decorations. On December 7th, Cynthia pulled a cracker and a toy gun fell to the floor. She picked it up and shivered.... the toy gun seemed very out of place amongst the decorations. The next day, on December 8th, Cynthia had to go to London to sign some legal paperwork. Oliver's Bistro was a bed and small cafe with a small staff with Cynthia, John Twist, Angie McCartney (Paul's ex-sister-in-law), and John's parents. Cynthia stayed with Maureen Starkey while in town. On that night, Maureen hosted a party with old friends, Dale and Jill Newton, from Liverpool. Maureen had a full house: her three children Zak, Jason, and Lee, her mother Florence, the children's nanny, and I believe her boyfriend Isaac Tigrett was living with Maureen but there was never really him being mentioned being there... either his presence wasn't as important in the story, or he was away on his own business trip and managing A Hard Rock Cafe. Anyway, there was dinner made by the nanny, drinks flowing around, and plenty of talking; the conversation took a sad turn on Mal Evans and his unfortunate death. On January 4, 1976, Mal (who was The Beatles roadie and assistant) was living in Los Angeles, separated from his wife Lil and their two children, and was feeling rather loss after his employment with The Beatles ended. Mal wasn't in the best situation. He did had a girlfriend and was at her house... Apparently something went terribly wrong and the police were called. Mal was having some sort of breakdown and had a gun. The police saw him waving the gun and thinking the worst, they shot him. Mal died instantly... and they discovered that the gun was unloaded. A very tragic loss and end for a kind man who wasn't in the right mind for a temporary time. At one point, Cynthia realized it was getting late and she was going to leave early in the morning to go back

John and Yoko during the day at home for the Rolling Stone magazine photo session in The Dakota, New York City, on December 8, 1980

Photographed by Annie Leibovitz

Meanwhile, on the other side of the pond in New York City, John and his wife Yoko... John got up early morning, had gotten a haircut in reminiscent of his 1950s "duck's arse" hairstyle, he was listening to Yoko's song Walking on Thin Ice that they were still working on by the time Yoko got up. They did a radio interview before the Rolling Stone magazine photo shoot with Annie Leibovitz, then to the music recording studio (the Hit Factory) until late, around 10:30 PM. John and Yoko were planning on going out for a late dinner but John wanted to come home to see Sean. As they were entering the building of The Dakota, John was ahead of Yoko when a man called out John's name. As John turned, the man started shooting with a gun, 5 shots. Four of them got John. John tried to go to the doorman for help before collapsing. The man was calm and waited for the police and got arrested, Yoko was screaming and calling for help while cradling John. The police came quickly; John was loaded in the cop car, still alive and barely conscious. The policeman asked if he was really John Lennon, to which John confirmed before dying. Once in the emergency room of St. Luke's Roosevelt Hospital, John was immediately admitted and operated on, given blood transfusions, but it was too late: John was already dead. John lost a lot of blood, one of the bullets severely damaged an artery. By 11:07 PM, John was officially pronounced dead. Yoko had followed John in another police car and was waiting in the waiting room when the doctor came out to tell her the news at 11:15 PM while handing over John's possessions.... it was when his wedding ring was given to her that Yoko knew for sure John was dead. David Geffen and Jack Douglas met up with Yoko at the hospital and went to take her back home (by police car) to be with Sean. John's body was taken to Frank E. Campbell Funeral Chapel in the morgue before cremation.

There's about a six hour difference between New York and London. When John was killed, Cynthia was sound asleep.

Elliot Mintz, Barbara Bach, and Ringo Starr leaving the Dakota in New York City after visiting Yoko and Sean on December 9, 1980. Julian arrived not long after.

John's death was announced on American television during Monday Night Football. Ringo Starr and his girlfriend Barbara Bach were on vacation in The Bahamas when her daughter Francesca called from Los Angeles with the news that John was shot but she wasn't sure if John was still alive or dead. Francesca called again a few minutes later to confirm that John was dead. While Ringo and Barbara arranged an immediate flight to go to New York to see Yoko and Sean, Ringo called Maureen to inform her the news. Maureen screamed, which woke up Cynthia. Maureen quickly burst into where Cynthia was sleeping and told her that John had been shot dead while Ringo was still on the phone. Cynthia spoke to Ringo; he told her exactly what he told Maureen: John's dead. Maureen insisted on accompanying Cynthia home and took Zak with them.

Immediately, Cynthia thought of her son, Julian.

Back in Wales, Julian was sleeping in his room but woke up, sensing something was terribly wrong. The press was slowly yet quickly gathering up around Oliver's Bistro. Cynthia had called her husband John Twist to tell him and asked him not to tell Julian until she got there... not exactly the best move as Julian certainly noticed the commotion going outside the Bistro. John had no choice but to tell Julian that his father was dead. Julian then went out to a pub with friends and drown his sorrows. Cynthia, Maureen, and her son Zak traveled to Wales. Julian was still out when Cynthia arrived and waited for him to come home. When he did, he sat on his mother's lap and she rocked him in her arms in comfort. Maureen busied herself making tea while Zak sat quietly in the corner, unsure of what to do. Then came the talk of what to do next. Maureen offered Julian her home for him as a safe refuge from the press; instead Julian opted to go to New York City. This is why I love Cynthia and Maureen's friendship, I even have a website dedicated to it called Cyn & Mo. Anyway, Julian wanted to be there and see for himself, he was also concerned for Sean. Around that moment, Yoko called. Or Julian called Yoko. Depends on what/who you believe as both versions have been said... no matter who called who, the main point was for making arrangements for Julian to fly to New York. As a protective mother, there seemed to have been a suggestion that Cynthia should come along, too, but Yoko said no. It was either Julian or Cynthia, not both... to be fair to Yoko, other than being concerned for Julian, why should Cynthia go? What would her presence be while there? Sitting quietly on a couch? That would have been awkward, and rather pointless, to be honest. Cynthia was the ex-wife, and there's bad enough tension between the ex-wife and the widow as it was. Yoko told Cynthia that it's not like they're good school friends. Cynthia felt hurt, maybe insulted, but, I must admit, I have to side with Yoko here. She had enough on her plate as it is with this tragedy, she had a five year old son who didn't know yet that John was dead, she had crowds of people mourning on her front door step of her apartment building, Yoko didn't need another person to add on. Cynthia did understand it, and Julian was 17 years old. However, there was a compromise for his best friend Justin Clayton to come along later.

Arrangements were made; John Twist and Cynthia took Julian to the airport. Maureen and Zak eventually went home. Ringo and Barbara visited Yoko and Sean and left just a few minutes before Julian arrived. I'll save Julian's stay in New York for a later date as this post is more so about Cynthia. Julian called Cynthia to let her know he was there safe and sound. Late at night, Cynthia was startled to hear a loud sound... she went outside to see what it was: her chimney had collapsed right into Julian's bedroom! If he had been there, he would have been crushed to death. Scary! 

Julian and Cynthia leaving home to go to the airport on December 9, 1980 in North Wales

"Anyway, as Christmas 1980 approached, the marriage was falling apart but John, Angie and I were still slaving away in the restaurant. One afternoon we put up the Christmas tree and Angie and I light-heartedly pulled a cracker. Instantly, a small plastic gun fell out into my hand. I tossed it away in distaste. A week or so later I had to visit London and I went to stay with Maureen - now ex-wife of Ringo. We had dinner with some friends, then, since I had to be up promptly next morning for my train back to Wales, I went to bed early. I had no sense of foreboding. No premonition. I fell asleep easily. Then suddenly in the middle of the night there was a terrible shriek and a scream. I heard all this running up the stairs and a blood-curdling howling and screaming... Terrified, I jumped out of bed and ran onto the landing. There was Maureen in her nightie, tears streaming down her face. 'Ritchie's just been on the phone,' she sobbed, 'John's been shot! He's dead.' When John died I felt as if part of my life had been wiped out. My legs nearly collapsed under me. Oh Jesus Christ, I thought. I can't cope with this. And then I thought, Julian! He's in Wales and I'm here. How am I going to get to him? I can't tell him this over the phone. 'Don't worry Cyn,' said Maureen. 'I'll drive you back.' There seem to have been so many terrible shocks in my life. So many tragedies. Throughout the long drive I struggled to come to terms with what had happened. It was as if part of my life had been wiped out. Part of me. The worst horror was that it was murder. If it had been an accident, a plane crash or a car smash somehow that would have been easier, but murder... it was just too awful..Over and over again on the news they described what had happened. How the killer had approached John on the pavement outside his New York apartment. Every time I closed my eyes I could visualise it. I could almost feel the impact of those bullets as if it had happened to me. Even though we hadn't been together physically for so long there was obviously still a spiritual bond between us that I hadn't realised until now. The murder struck me right to my soul. For months afterwards I couldn't watch anything on TV that involved a gun. Every time I saw a gun, my mind threw up an instant replay of the murder. I couldn't bear it.This picture actually shows John signing an autograph for Mark David Chapman, the man who killed him..When we arrived in Wales the street was full of reporters and photographers and the curtains of the house were drawn. It was naïve of me to think that Julian wouldn't find out until I arrived. But then I was in shock. I hadn't been thinking clearly. As it turned out John Twist had broken the news and Julian had immediately gone out with his friends for comfort. There was nothing to be done but sit and wait for him to come back. Eventually the door opened and there he was. He was 17 now, a tall, slim boy, very like his dad. Someone had given him a drink but he was white, completely ashen and he was in tears. He didn't say anything. He came straight over and sat on my knee and we wept together and I rocked him just like I did when he was a little boy. Then, after a while the phone rang. It was Yoko. She wanted Julian to come over for the funeral. I realised that much as I would have liked to pay my respects it wouldn't be appropriate for me to attend too. Yoko was the widow, not me, and we didn't want to turn a solemn event into a circus. But Julian wanted to go and though I worried about the harrowing experience he would have to face I knew I must let him. That same day I drove him to the airport and put him on a plane for New York. But the dramas weren't quite over. Late that night, as I sat staring bleakly into the fire an incredible storm blew up out of nowhere. The wind howled in a way that was quite unearthly and then there was a tremendous crash that shook the house. The noise and the impact were so enormous I thought a bomb had gone off. Terrified, I rushed out into the street in the pouring rain and as I stood there, looking up and down the road, trying to make out what had happened something made me look up. My mouth dropped open. There was a gaping hole in our roof. The big stone chimney that had stood there through storms and rain for hundreds of years had crashed right through the roof into the room where Julian would have been sleeping had he not left for America. It absolutely freaked me out. It was so bizarre. That this should have happened on the night John was killed struck me as downright spooky. Despite it all, life had to go on as it always does. I decided the only way to cope was to try to be as normal as possible and resume my duties in the restaurant. Sympathetic cards and letters flowed in and I kept reading them and reading them in an effort to make myself believe it had really happened. I was still in a daze. I went about my work like a robot."

Cynthia, 1994

"I was at Maureen's house, Ringo's ex-wife, in London when we got a call from Ringo. He was in New York when it happened. It was horrible. It took us more than a year to understand what had happened. Julian was only 17 and he had to go to the funeral in New York alone because Yoko refused to allow myself or the rest of John's family to attend." 

Cynthia, 1990 

(as stated before, Ringo was actually in the Bahamas at the time before immediately going to New York. I don't necessarily blame Cynthia for the screw up... so many things happening all at once and in grief.)

"It's really the day afterwards that I remember. I had to put Julian on the plane for New York- aged 17 and all alone, facing the death of his father. Of course I wanted to go with him, but I was told that if I came, Julian couldn't. At home, that night I heard what sounded like a huge explosion so I leaped up- only to discover that a chimney pot had fallen through the roof and into Julian's bedroom, where in ordinary circumstances he would have been asleep. It was very weird. Amazingly the chimney landed intact, and wherever I've moved from then on, it's come with me."

Cynthia, 1998

There was actually no funeral. There wasn't even an official memorial service, nothing, other than 10 minutes of silence requested by Yoko on December 14th. John was cremated at Ferncliff Cemetery in New York on December 12th; his ashes were given to Yoko. There's been a lot of debates over the years on what Yoko did with them: for years, it was said she kept him under her bed. It's also rumored that she scattered his ashes in Central Park where Yoko and John frequently walked. At one time, Yoko said she buried his ashes in an undisclosed location in England... maybe where their first unborn child is? I don't know. Only Yoko knows. Julian definitely doesn't know, Sean.... iffy on his knowledge on where his dad's ashes are located. Either way, it's really none of our business as John was Yoko's husband. She's in charge of his remains and legacy.

Cynthia was deeply shattered by John's death, no question. Honestly, I think his death was much harder for her to get over than the divorce was. His death robbed John and everyone else, especially Julian, a chance to reconnect and be close. There was so much talk of plans: for John to go back to England with Yoko (although it's also been said that they were planning to divorce) and for Sean to meet his family, his sisters, Aunt Mimi, to have a proper father-son relationship with Julian, there was talk of Julian attending an University in New York and for him to live with John. There were pending plans to go tour which John hadn't done since 1966. Maybe a Beatles reunion could've happened in a few years. Unfortunately, those ideas, those plans, went poof! disappearing forever. We will never know what would've happened if John had lived.

"I don't think he found the complete satisfaction in life, because I think was always searching, always looking for it, always searching for something new. He was due to come back to England just before he died. So he was constantly changing and looking for new quests. But whatever he did, it was totally honest and wholehearted."

Cynthia, 1985

"Just before John was gunned down, he had said he was coming back to England. That would have helped; it would have put him back in touch with his roots. He might have got to know his son properly, we might have got on... it would have been normal and natural. But then, that was never the deal. There was nothing normal or natural about it"

Cynthia, 2009

"He told them [sisters Julia and Jackie] he was coming back to England to live. That he was leaving Yoko, he'd had enough. He said he kept having a dream in which he saw himself floating down theR MTersey in a huge Cunard liner. He told Julian, too, 'I want to come home'. It was not to be."

Cynthia, 1999

"Yes, millions of people did. For me, the most tragic aspect was that my son lost his father." 

Cynthia, 1996

"His death was very hard to handle, but life goes on. I just wish that he had had a happy existence- he was always suffering in one way or another. But when I heard him sing, that was his escape."

Cynthia, 1999

 

Rest in Peace Cynthia

"Cynthia Lennon passed away today at her home in Mallorca, Spain following a short but brave battle with cancer. Her son Julian Lennon was at her bedside throughout. The family are thankful for your prayers. Please respect their privacy at this difficult time."

Cynthia in 2014

On the morning of April 1, 2015, Cynthia Lennon Charles died in her home in Spain. It was April Fool's Day and, yes, it was first thought to be a cruel joke… I wondered if Cynthia was aware of the date as she took her last breaths? Maybe she had a bit of a chuckle. It was also the same date that her ex-father-in-law Alfred Lennon died on. I honestly wanted to be a joke, maybe you and a lot of people did too. But the seriousness really poured in: it was officially on Julian's website and social media- most notably was the YouTube music video tribute. It was real. 

Cynthia lighting up John's cigarette at home in Kenwood, 1965

Photographed by Henry Grossman

For the majority of her life, Cynthia smoked cigarettes. As did John, as did the other three; George Harrison had both throat and lung cancer due to the excessive amount of smoking in the 1960s and it cost him his life. John continued to smoke up until his death- we would never know if smoking would've affected his health these days if he had lived. Paul and Ringo eventually quit at some point in the 1980s (as did George). At the time, you can smoke anywhere and everywhere from hospitals, restaurants, you name it. When they were dating, John used to smoke like a chimney but didn't like Cynthia to smoke- at the time, she was smoking two cigarettes a day. In the last 30 years or so, there was a realization that smoking cigarettes was bad for health. Cynthia's father Charles was also a heavy smoker and died of lung cancer in the summer of 1957 when Cynthia was only 17 and about to attend Liverpool College of Art.

“Of course, you can’t do it anywhere now. I’m going to have to wear the patches, I’m going to have to try. I could be an absolute druggy and I could be I don’t know how many feet under by now. But I’ve only this vice and the odd scotch. I’m okay so far.”

Cynthia, 2005

Cynthia was diagnosed with lung cancer in the beginning of the year, January of 2015. At that time, her discovery was too late; the cancer had already spread in her body. Time to get personal with a related experience: my grandmother died from lung cancer. She was coughing and coughing for several months and didn't understand why. At first, the obvious, maybe she was sick? Took medicine, stayed in bed. But no sniffles, no fever. Her energy was normal. Hmm? Maybe it's allergies? Dust? The Kleenex she was using to cough and sneeze? It took awhile for her to go to the last resort, the Doctor. She was diagnosed with lung cancer, and had spots on her liver (I don't think Cynthia had that). And, sadly, she couldn't do anything about it. My grandmother also was a smoker in the 1960s, 1970s. The cancer was wrapped around her esophagus/trachea area so much so that operation would not be ideal- a knick from the scaplel would've killed her. Grandma opted to die at home. Her energy level quickly went. It was in the Summer of 2006. In August, she gifted Mom and me a trip to Chicago for Beatles Fest and when returned, I went to see her to provide details and she laid down on the couch while dressed in shorts and t-shirt. She got completely bedridden by September, started to fade away in October, before passing away two weeks into November, missing eight days before her birthday. 

“My mum always said that you just kill people with kindness. There’s no need to be mean, nasty, or cruel to anybody. Mum was my rock. I didn’t handle it well at all. I threw myself into denial. I couldn’t believe that she was gone. The saddest words from her lips were, ‘I did this to myself.’ That was really hard to take. It was true to some degree. She was mostly comfortable until the last week. Then her body shut down. I don’t think she wanted me to witness her passing, I talk to her at night. She comes to me.This plane that we live on, this existence is the weirdest thing in the world, isn’t it? I’m in awe of it and overwhelmed by it every single day.”

Julian 2017

Now, it sounds like from Julian that Cynthia was quite active until the final week of her life, unlike my grandmother. I am guessing that her cancer's main place was not in the position that could be operated wasn't life threatening. If Cynthia had discovered her lung cancer early, then perhaps her life would've lasted longer. But hearing lung cancer… hate to be blunt but usually means you are out. It's rare to survive it but I personally can't think of who other than Alexis Davis on General Hospital, but that's a soap opera- people come back from the dead. Cynthia was a believer to heal herself before resorting to the Doctor, she admitted it in her first book A Twist of Lennon during her appendix pain. It's not really a surprise or shock that Cynthia waited it out until booking a Doctor appointment. Cynthia and Julian kept the news to themselves. Barely anybody knew! Not even May Pang. I highly doubtful that Yoko knew… maybe Sean knew? I'm iffy on that… a (half) brother should tell his (half) brother that his mother was dying, right? Maybe Yoko did know? That's why I am doubtful. Definitely Paul, Ringo, and Olivia didn't know. There were rumors of Cynthia's ailing health after her husband Noel Charles died in 2013, it got too persistent that Julian had to post on Facebook that his mother wasn't ill at all. Between Noel's and her death, Cynthia only did one interview (in 2014, just before she was diagnosed) and one public appearance for Julian's White Feather Foundation Gala. Cynthia had made it very clear around 2010 that she was done with the Beatles/John Lennon shadow and it was around the time Noel was diagnosed with prostate cancer. From her last interview, Cynthia was rejuvenating herself as an artist, working on her artwork and be seen as an artist.

Julian, Princess Charlene of Monaco, and Cynthia at The White Feather Foundation Charity Ball on May 10, 2013 in Monaco. 

This was Cynthia's first public appearance after her husband Noel Charles' death and her last public appearance. 

From what I gathered on Julian's social media over the last few years, Cynthia continued her art, she also packed up her belongings for Julian to take and inherit while leaving notes for him to find, including two white feathers, and eventually got hospice with a hospital bed in her home. Since her diagnosis, Julian rarely left her side, they joked, talked, spent time together, laughed, serious talks, whatever you do in the remaining moments that they had left. Not one to give up hope, Julian searched for treatments, some he never heard of. It does open a whole new world in the medical field and get educated more than you ever thought about. I don't think Julian stayed at her home though… would think so, but guess not as Julian left the night of March 31st and returned 15 minutes after she passed away. Cynthia must have died in the morning, considering it was late morning on the same day when I heard the news; there is a six hours difference between Florida (where I live) and Spain (where Cynthia lived). Despite the statement that he was by her side, Julian didn't witness her passing. When he told her that he'll see her tomorrow, she replied, "All right, love," but..

“It was sort of a resigned response. I felt something was different.”

Julian, 2017

Those were their last words to each other. To be fair, none of the family witnessed my grandmother's passing either. My mom was there but went to the grocery store to get lunch for herself and the two hospice nurses, my Aunt was driving on her way to see Grandma, my Uncle and I were at work, my cousins were in school, my Grandfather and his wife (my grandparents were divorced) were in their second home they had recently bought in North Carolina and immediately drove back to Florida after receiving the death news. I believe both my grandmother and Cynthia were aware of their surroundings, who were with them (in my grandmother's case, two hospice nurses), and decided to leave Earth behind so their children wouldn't see it. Olivia and Dhani saw George leave. Paul, Heather, Mary, Stella, and James saw Linda leave. Ringo, Zak, Jason, Lee, husband Isaac, and mother Florence saw Maureen leave. I'm not saying it's not fair, I believe it happened for a reason. I don't really regret not being there, it was hard enough to watch beforehand. The next and last time I saw my grandmother was at her memorial service in a coffin before being cremated. Cynthia was cremated and her ashes were given to Julian; on September 19, 2017, Julian decided it was time to let go of his mother to spread her ashes. Half were planted in the New Jacaranda trees in Julian's yard in Monaco that she loved and the other half was scattered into the sea. Understandably, Julian took his mother's death hard- he is a Mama's boy and those two were as close as they could be. Even today, Julian is still struggling. I think he will always struggle, to be honest. Look at Linda's four children, for example: you can still see them mourn after over 20 years. But the worst thing about it? Cynthia died seven days before her son's birthday. Ouch! 

Julian made one public appearance during his mother's illness at his Horizon photography exhibition at the Emmanuel Fremin Gallery on March 11, 2015 in New York City. Little did we, the public, know that Cynthia was in Spain dying. 

What was I doing on April 1, 2015 when I heard the news? Well, it was late morning and I was doing what I am always doing: Picture of the Day for both The Beatles Wives & Girls (BW&G) and Children of The Beatles (links on the side here ➡) for Instagram. Because it was April, I was prepping for Linda McCartney tributes. I glanced at Julian's posts on Instagram: there were pictures of candles and of his mother but no captions, so I thought how sweet yet a bit odd… maybe Julian was fooling around with Photoshop? Then I saw a comment mentioning Cynthia's death. That caused me an internet search frenzy to find out if this was true or a cruel joke. The news was just breaking at that moment and spreading. It was true. My heart broke. My favorite wife of the Beatles had died. As for BW&G, although Maureen and Linda had died, it happened way before the Facebook page as it started in 2010. It was our first death experience to deal with. Everything to do with Linda immediately went out the window except for the 17th. I quickly scraped together a month long tribute on Instagram dedicated to Cynthia. Then I had to go to work. Wasn't easy, I couldn't call and say that I was in mourning over someone I never met, I was tempted but knew it would be ridiculous if I were in the office's shoes. Honestly, I didn't know what to do, there was no warning. Of course, I didn't expect Julian to call me to give me a heads up. It's a miracle that I managed to put together a tribute.

Paul, Ringo, Barbara, Olivia, and Dhani last saw Cynthia in 2006. Julia Baird, John's sister, last saw Cynthia in September of 2014. May last saw Cynthia in 2014. Not really sure on Pattie, but the last known get together was in 2010 with Julian, Yoko, and Sean; same for Yoko and Sean. 

Cynthia in 2014

"The news of Cynthia’s passing is very sad. She was a lovely lady who I’ve known since our early days together in Liverpool. She was a good mother to Julian and will be missed by us all, but I will always have great memories of our times together."

Paul McCartney, 2015

"I'm just really sad that she passed so suddenly. It's a sad time. I hadn't spoken to her for a little time."

Pattie Boyd, 2015

"Sending our love and deepest sympathies to dear Julian Lennon. May God bless Cynthia always. Love,"

Olivia and Dhani Harrison, 2015

"Peace and love to Julian Lennon God bless Cynthia love, xx" 

Ringo Starr and Barbara Bach

"Words fail me... now she has her Angel wings....RIP Cyn. You are loved." 

Cynthia. From the Greek referring to The Moon Goddess Artemis. OUR beloved Cynthia saw her fair share of the dark side of the moon thru the tornado that was the Beatles, but she also had her sunshine always in her heart. Julian. Jules, you are her blessing, her legacy and her artistic talents, love, light, sharing and nurturing nature live on in you. After reading my essay The Chemistry of Lennon & McCartney she rang and asked me if I had 'swallowed a dictionary', and we reminisced about John & Paul’s 'pH balance' that brought the world so much music and so many memories. The last time we spoke, a few months ago, at least I made her laugh. Some silly Scouse joke about 3 blokes in a pub, but she laughed that unmistakable laugh of hers, a quiet, low giggle, still with the charm of the schoolgirl that met John Winston in Art School and then said, in her unique velvet voice 'Oh Luv, you can take the girl out of Liverpool…' God speed, dance with Noel tonight and save us a seat near the stage…"

Ruth McCartney, 2015

"Cynthia Lennon (1939-2015) R.I.P. We'll miss you! Our thoughts and our love and our prayers go to Julian at this difficult time."

Sean Lennon, 2015

"I would be walking down to the Liverpool Institute, while they were walking up to the Art College. I would say ‘Hi, John’ and ‘Hi, Cynthia’, and they would answer to the postbox because they were both as blind as bats without their glasses, and you wouldn’t wear glasses because you were too proud. She was the Wirral girl from Hoylake, and she’d always be around in some of the pictures I took as John was her fella in a group with my brother. That’s how I knew of her existence. After they divorced, she moved back up here, and my ex-wife used to cook in a restaurant Cynthia had in Ruthin in North Wales. The last time I saw her was in Vegas when the Love show was launched, when she was there with Julian. She hadn’t changed at all- she was basically a shy girl, dead straight, rather on the serious side. She was a lovely girl and I’ve got good memories of her. It’s very sad.”

Mike McCartney, 2015

For the month of April, John's estate social media (Facebook and Twitter) had a cover photo of Cynthia from Julian's website featured as a tribute. 

As for Yoko's statement? Well, it's going to have it's own post… to be continued.