“He’s intelligent and sensitive. He’s had a terrible time actually. And also, just like Sean, having a huge daddy didn’t help really.”
Yoko, 2015
Well, this post was bound to happen. This relationship wasn't an easy one, it's very well documented. But, there's a few things to get straighten out like facts getting over-exaggerated or stuff that gets overlooked and ignored. I have no intention to make Yoko out to be an evil step-monster or Julian to be a whiny brat; my goal here is to be fair and present both sides of the story. Thankfully there's been some peace and love on both sides during this past decade, so it's good to know that this post will end on a high note rather than uncertainty.
Let's start from the beginning: I don't know exactly when Julian and Yoko met. They could've met in 1967 when Yoko came by the Kenwood house asking John to be her art gallery sponsor. Or they could've met in May of 1968, while Cynthia was in Greece and John stayed home to start his public affair with Yoko; Julian mostly stayed with housekeeper Dot Jarlett but paths must've crossed at that point. Julian and Yoko definitely met by the summer of 1968 when Cynthia wanted to talk about the divorce terms in person; at one point Yoko went to the kitchen for some tea where Dot, Cynthia's mother Lillian, and Julian were in. That scene was unpleasant as Lillian took the moment to ask why Yoko would do this while defending Cynthia. My feeling for that time on their relationship was that there was none whatsoever. Yoko had no use for Julian while having her eye blinders focused solely on John (to be fair, Yoko barely saw her own daughter at that point...) and Julian was realizing his parents weren't getting together anymore. Maybe there was just no opportunity to bond? John wanted all of Yoko's attention (he can be incredibly selfish) and vice versa. They became inseparable, even going to the bathroom.
Julian and Yoko at Intertel Studios in Stonebridge Park, London during the taping of The Rolling Stones' Rock 'n' Roll Circus on December 11, 1968. It was their first public appearance together.
Well, in another few months, an opportunity for Yoko and Julian to bond came up. There was a time after the divorce while John and Yoko were living in Kenwood (until the end of the year) that Julian visited John: on December 11, 1968, John and Yoko took Julian to the taping of The Rolling Stones' Rock 'n' Roll Circus. I think it was the last time Julian got to be in Kenwood, to sleep in his room, and spend a day (or two, I don't know how long Julian's visit was then- it could've been a week visit as December 11th was on a Wednesday) with his friends. After that, John and Yoko lived like gypsies until settling into their new home, Tittenhurst Park. By then, both John and Yoko were settled enough to have their children over. Julian came just about every weekend as per custody agreement. Yoko later admitted that she didn't know much about raising boys... she had a daughter. Yoko knew about ballet, bows, dolls, and the color pink. It's ironic as Yoko later had a son of her own. I already covered life at Tittenhurst Park, and there will be a future post about the Scotland car accident, so I'll only touch on the note Yoko sent to Cynthia. In 1969, John and Yoko took Julian and Kyoko to Scotland; John, being a terrible driver, got into a car accident. While as patients in the hospital, John and Yoko refused to see Cynthia when she came to pick up Julian. Instead, Yoko passed on a note to Cynthia that said Julian behaved badly. Cynthia took it as an insult as she never let that go, as she stated in her second book. Okay, I must admit, I don't see Yoko as the bad guy in this. I work with children, and I have had my share of children that could be overall well behaved and can have one day to be a terror. That could have what happened to Julian on that particular day. It's not an insult to the way the parents are bringing up their children. It happens to everyone. Anyway, there was nothing Cynthia could do to work with John and Yoko on dealing with Julian's behavior - I think that's the main insult right there. Around this time period, Julian started to call Yoko "Hokey Cokey", much to Cynthia's amusement. I don't know what John and Yoko thought of it but they didn't seem to put a stop to it.
“Hokey Cokey is like a nickname, not necessarily a term of affection, but a lot of people took it the wrong way. I’ve always been very wary of people, anyway, and especially of her for some reason. But there have been lots of times when we’ve had great fun together. It’s just the business side of things that gets in the way.”
Julian, 1984
"She was wearing a very short black skirt, black thigh-length boots, a black shirt and a black floppy hat, all topped off with this long black hair. I think I was scared of her. But she kept cuddling me and eventually in my little mind I somehow knew that if I wanted to keep my dad, I had to like her. It wasn't until years later that I began to understand their relationship and suddenly stopped seeing her as the weird lady."
Julian
"Julian was, from the beginning, a very attractive little boy, extremely sensitive, and intelligent. I think this whole thing about stepmother, which is an ugly word, first of all... it's really not like Hansel & Gretel to me. Now, the modern stepmother, and there are many divorces in the '60s- it was like a norm... step-mothers try very hard to make it OK for the children. For children, it's very, very difficult. It was extremely difficult for Julian. Julian and I tried to be friends. Of course, if he's too friendly with me, then I think that it hurts his other relatives. He was very loyal to his mother. That was the first thing that was in his mind. She was feeling, I think, very hurt about the situation. He shared that anger, probably. He wasn't angry with me. He was very nice. All through his growing up, I felt we were having a fairly good relationship. It must have been more difficult for him... So that if he prefers not to visit me so much, then I understand."
Yoko
Yoko, John, and Julian on the grounds of Tittenhurst Park in 1971
Things soured around the time John and Yoko left England for good and moved to New York... without telling Cynthia... but that's not the worst part! The thing that really snapped was when Yoko called Cynthia to say that whatever discussion needed to be about Julian would be between them while John will deal with Tony Cox on Kyoko. I side with Cynthia on this one: Cynthia refused. If John need to talk to Cynthia about Julian, then John can contact her himself. But... unfortunately.... while I'm glad Cynthia didn't bow down to Yoko's demanding commands, it did put a three year estrangement for John and Julian's relationship. Cynthia isn't wrong, though. I would've said the exact same thing.
In late 1973, John and Yoko were not getting along at this point. Being inseparable was getting to them, Yoko was tired of being overshadowed as John's wife rather than her own person, and John had sex with another woman at a party with Yoko right there. Not to mention the aftermath stress of The Beatles breakup and lawsuits and Yoko reeling from not knowing where her daughter was. Maybe it's a good thing that Julian was away from that atmosphere. Yoko kicked John out and fixed him up with May Pang. However, the separation didn't stop them both from keeping in touch; Yoko called John the most. She was fully aware that John and Julian will reconnect, and wasn't pleased. Apparently there was a deal that as long as Yoko wasn't able to see her daughter, John couldn't see Julian. This was an equal relationship and therefore everything was fair game, including the risk of cutting the children off from contact. This is definitely the one thing I find unforgivable over Yoko's treatment with Julian. With May and Cynthia's help, John and Julian reunited.
"John kept Yoko up to date on all the arrangements. After one call, he hung up and said, 'You know Cynthia's still in love with me. She'll do anything to get me back.''John, you and Yoko haven't seen Cynthia in four years. Are you mind readers? How do you know what's going on in her head? And even if it's true, what can she do to get you back if you don't want to go? What are you worried about?' John shrugged and tried to laugh it off, but it was quite clear to me that he was still under Yoko's spell, and she had chosen, for some mysterious reason of her own, to get him agitated and upset about Cynthia. Even I, in my vulnerable position, recognized before I met her that Cynthia meant John no harm. Nevertheless Yoko kept working at it. The next day, after one of her phone calls, John repeated what he had said the day before. Again I tried to joke him out of it, but he kept repeating those ridiculous statements, and every time he repeated them he grew more anxious about the visit and more convinced that he did not want to see Cynthia. I think at that point more than any other I began to fear the power of Yoko's influence over John: To turn John against Cynthia was to make sure that John would never see Julian."
May Pang
Yoko's manipulation to drive a wedge between John and Julian did not work. On one of her daily frequent calls, Yoko did talk to Julian. I'm not entirely sure if John took Julian to visit Yoko while in New York but it wasn't until 1977 for sure when Yoko and Julian saw each other again. By then, John and Yoko reunited and had Sean. Whenever Julian visited, I would say there was underlying tension but had moments of good times. I will dive deeper in details at a later date, in short: Yoko taught Julian origami, she took him out to the theatre just the two of them, went sledding, and she did tried to protect Julian whenever John got difficult. On one scheduled visit, Yoko arranged Julian to fly on the Concorde, which excited him and he spoke about it often. Of course, it wasn't all roses and smiles... when Julian was back in England with his mother, he would attempt to call his father. Sometimes he managed to get through, but most of the time Julian hit roadblocks, either a staff member or Yoko informing John wasn't able to come to the phone because he's busy or sleeping. Why would she do that? Yoko never directly answered that question. There's lots of reasons... maybe John was busy, maybe he was sleeping, John did like to sleep... there's also Yoko feeling jealous that John got to have a relationship with Julian while she couldn't with Kyoko. I think that's the major part of it. Some say it's because Yoko wanted to drive a wedge between John and Julian and to be sure they'd never spoke again. Even if that's true, Yoko would have a difficult time to keep that rouse going as John was determined to have a relationship with Julian, and Sean adored his big brother. Julian's last visit while John was still alive was in April of 1979; the next time Yoko saw Julian was under tragic circumstances.
Yoko and Julian in New York City, 1986
Here comes the hectic part of the roller coaster story: tragically, John died on December 8, 1980. After hearing the news (England was already on December 9th), Julian decided to go to New York to be with Yoko and Sean and to see the atmosphere himself. Cynthia wanted to go with Julian due to his sad state, but Yoko said no. It was either one or none. Plane arrangements were made and Julian arrived. Many staff members warned Julian to watch his back, be cautious, because Yoko was determined to have Sean front and center on inheritance. They weren't wrong, were they? Sure enough, for the next 16 years, there was an estate battle between Yoko and Julian. For Julian, all he really wanted was to be on board with the decisions (which, he isn't), and most of all to be acknowledged as John's child the same way Sean. For Yoko, John's life started in 1966 the day he met her. At first, it didn't start off bad. There was a time when Yoko and Julian got along, but there was Cynthia to consider.
"He is a very sensitive soul and we feel very close to each other and get on very well. He's going through difficult times, too, especially because he's seventeen. It's very delicate. Cynthia did a very fine job bringing him up and I don't want our closeness to interfere with his closeness to his mother. It's a very complex situation"
Yoko, 1981
But there was another heavy cloud on the horizon: John's estate. After John and Cynthia divorced in 1968, she only received one payment of £100,000 and annual child support that took care of Julian's school fees. When John died, Cynthia received nothing. She had no rights since the divorce. Now, I don't know, but did Cynthia thought John left her money in his will? Yoko seemed to thought so at the time... Of course, later, Cynthia did acknowledge that she wouldn't be in the will as she's the ex-wife. I don't know what happened in Cynthia's mind at the time as I wasn't there, and neither was Yoko as it's not like those two chat on the phone like best friends every weekly. But, whatever was going on, it certainly wasn't easy for Julian as he was caught in the middle.
“Poor Julian is probably very confused. It all has to do with Cynthia. She is not getting any money from John’s estate—rightly—and she is very hurt by this. It’s hard for Julian to please his mother without saying bad things about me.”
Yoko, 1982
Well, I do agree that Cynthia shouldn't be in the estate, as I just mentioned.... Pattie Boyd isn't included in George Harrison's estate. I do believe Heather Mills will definitely NOT get anything from Paul McCartney's estate on the event he dies. Maureen died before Ringo, so she's not an issue at all. Sure, Cynthia was Julian's mother but I think whatever custody agreement of payments was agreed in 1968 would've mentioned anything in the event of John's death before Julian became an adult. During the divorce proceedings, John did set up a trust for Julian to inherit by the age of 25... I'll explain this a little more at the end.
Anyway, back in 1981, Yoko started sending Julian £100 a week from the estate. Needless to say, Julian wasn't happy and shared his feelings with the press.
“Yoko has total control of everything. I have a lawyer who is battling to see what else I am entitled to. But right now I am not rich. I’m just too lazy to get a job, and as long as I can carry on the way I am, I think that is what I will do.”
Julian, 1982
Okay, I'm going to be honest here: I'm siding Yoko on this round. 'I'm just too lazy to get a job'? Really, Julian? It's no wonder why Yoko didn't up the price! If Julian could at least show an effort of having jobs and working his ass off, then I'm sure Yoko would have reconsidered.
“John never gave him any allowance. Julian was complaining he didn’t have enough money to be able to buy beer, so I said, ‘How much would cover that?’ Am I wrong? How much do most kids his age get? Should he grow up so differently from other kids?”
Yoko, 1982
“He’s a young boy and should be forgiven his mistakes. He only wants people’s love.”
Yoko, 1982
“When he said those things, it hurt me terribly. But I told him I understood. If I can make mistakes—and I’ll be 50—he’s allowed some at 18.”
Yoko, 1982
To her credit, Yoko did increase the £100 allowance (not sure the exact amount), and even sent almost $6,000 to buy a drum set. By the next year (1983ish), for being young, naive, and wanting attention on his music, Julian agreed to record some songs for a greedy scam meal ticket. When Julian realized his mistake, Yoko paid over $200,000 to the promoter to free Julian. Julian eventually got a real record deal and released his first album Valotte in 1984. For the next coming years, Julian and Yoko seemed to have a peaceful time; there was a time when Julian was Sean's baby sitter (since John was alive, I think?) and I recall hearing somewhere that Sean even briefly lived with Julian in Los Angeles in the late 1980s/early 1990s but Sean also went to boarding school in Switzerland, so perhaps during school break here and there.
"I have no bones to pick with Sean whatsoever, I care about him a great deal, I used to babysit him. He's blood, he's my brother."
Julian
"I didn't want to appear like I was going after it, like a money-grabbing needy son. I sat around politely for years, not waiting for a handout, but waiting for some resolve. She has everything and anything of Dad's, but, you know, the one thing she will never have is the blood and the talent of a Lennon."
Julian, 1999
At some point in the 1990s, things changed. Probably about the same time there was an issue with the house John bought for his sisters that Yoko sold, along with his Aunt's house after she died. Julian got angry, really angry. It was bad enough to watch his mother and himself getting slowly erased from John's story, but to extend that to his family members? He was also not too pleased about the merchandise with his father's image on neck ties and other novelty things that baffled Julian.
"I would have to that she's tried to negate us from the history books. I felt that I had certain rights, yes. Absolutely."
Julian, 1999
Sean, Yoko, and Julian at his Timeless photography exhibition in New York City, 2010
When Julian's album, Photograph Smile, he used the opportunity during his promotional press rounds to express his anger towards Yoko. Even his Behind the Music documentary from VH1 was used to vent his anger. Although, by this time, the estate lawsuit between Julian and Yoko was settled in 1996. I'll explain very soon with more details along with the trust fund. What I think what triggered Julian to make his battle public was when he realized his album would be released about the same time as Sean's debut album, Into the Sun, in 1998; Julian couldn't help but wonder if there was some manipulation going on - especially Yoko - it couldn't have been a coincidence. Well, Julian got the last laugh as his album got better criticism and it sold well. But that was the least of his problems, I think, as Julian was more upset more than anything that he didn't have anything belonging to his father.... he basically had to buy his father's things from the money from his father's estate in auctions! I'll get into that in another post, since this is primarily about Yoko and Julian's relationship.
"I was mostly upset by the fact that I didn't received any of his actual belongings as far as guitars and pianos. I think she's probably one of the most insecure women I've ever met in my life. But she plays it from a very powerful role."
Julian, 1998
"Well I think he's a very pained now and he's gone through his pain and I hope one day he's going to come through that and maybe become a happier person. But he's expressing his pain in the way he wants to do maybe with me, I don't know."
Yoko, 2001
"When people badmouth about my mom in general, in the press, whether it's, you know, a critic or just a reporter, or, you know especially if it's Julian or something, she really, really gets hurt by it."
Sean, 2001
"These days, I don't hear from Julian, but I had a long relationship with Julian since he was five or something, and he was such a sweet boy, but also it was very difficult for him too. And I remember different things where I almost felt his pain, you know, so it's a very difficult situation. He was very, very exposed in some ways, so now I think it's good that he's taking time...I'm not going to force him to be close to me or anything. He knows where I am and if he wants to come I'd be very happy, but I'm sure that he's taking care of himself in the way that he wants to."
Yoko
"When we're born nobody says life is going to be beautiful. Life is always very difficult and it's wonderful sometimes and sometimes it's terrible. But in my heart, I believe in justice, and one day justice will be done. For me, the justice is that I've got a wonderful son, who's my best friend, so forget the money because it's not as important as that."
Cynthia, 1997
Things got rather quiet and rather peaceful, but, not really a surprise, another dark cloud in the horizon... in 2005, Cynthia published her second book, John, with an introduction written by Julian. You can say that the wounds from the last battle were opened up. It was Cynthia's turn to say how unfairly Yoko treated her son. However, despite the book, it seemed to have turned the page (ha! a pun) with the tense fragile relationship between Yoko and Julian. How so? Well, for starters, the following year in 2006, Yoko invited Julian (and Cynthia) to see the Cirque du Soleil/The Beatles LOVE show in Las Vegas... I already posted about this event but let's just say that Julian and Yoko did happily pose for a picture. A few years later in 2010, Yoko, along with Sean, May Pang, and Cynthia, attended his first photography exhibition Timeless in New York City where she happily stood with Julian, hugged Cynthia, and were all in smiles. Since then, Julian let go of his anger and made peace/truce with Yoko, especially for Sean's sake.
"I unleashed hell on her, but we've made our peace. We're okay. There was no point in continuing the anger. It's a waste of time and energy."
Julian
“You know it’s just not worth the stress. It really isn’t. The stresses and the strains. I think the key point to all of this for me at least has been Sean. If I hurt Sean’s mother, then I hurt Sean.”
Julian, 2010
“It’s a round-about way of thinking about things. But because I love Sean so much, I just don’t want to hurt him. I can get over it. I have gotten over it.”
Julian
"Things are good between us."
Julian, 2010
"There's a lot of misinformation and rumors about Julian and I not liking each other. But we've always been very close. He was a real hero to me. There may have been complicated feelings between my mom and Julian. But that never affected us."
Sean, 2020
On social media (Facebook, Twitter, occasionally Instagram), Yoko does give Julian a shout out for his birthday in April every year. Julian gave Yoko permission to include his postcards in a book on recording Imagine in 1971. Julian also took part in the documentary about Imagine called Above Us, Only Sky (you can find it on Netflix). I don't know exactly how often they've seen each other in person as the last public appearance together was in 2010 but I do think it's obvious there's an open communication between Yoko and Julian.
Alrighty, let's take a little more insight on this trust fund thing: As I mentioned earlier, during the divorce proceedings with Cynthia, John set up a trust fund for Julian with £100,000 to be available when he turn 25 in 1988. If any more children were to be born to John, the trust fund would be split... so, when Sean was born in 1975, they split it 50/50 including interest. But there was a twist! Despite the trust set up for both boys, particularly Julian, it was up to Yoko and co-trustee to give him whatever deemed appropriate. Sweet deal, right (I'm being sarcastic)? Supposedly, Julian got his half and Sean later got his half when he turned 25 in 2000.
When John died, he left behind an estimated £250 million estate for Yoko to manage. As mentioned earlier, she sent £100 a week to Julian, but that wasn't satisfying to him; later on it eventually reached up to estimated £70,000. After the 1996 lawsuit was settled, it's estimated that Julian receives less than £20 million from the estate... it's a guess though as it's undisclosed with confidentiality agreement. Julian also got some percentage of royalties from John's songs. As of 1999 and with his father's witty sense of humor, Julian has a royalty check framed made out in 50¢ by Yoko.
Now.... I don't know what is going on these days other than Yoko is starting to give Sean more of control on handling John's estate as she's getting older. As for Julian? Well, that remains unknown until Yoko dies. I am hoping that Sean will have Julian up as 50/50 to decide on John's estate but, in the meantime, it's just a guess. I'm sure I'll be revisiting this subject in the future. That all being said, don't worry about Julian. He does have a stake in his father's estate, he also has his own wealth, he travels, he lives in a nice house with his own recording studio that seems to go through a makeover every few years. He's not in a homeless shelter while panhandling for money and food. I just hope that at the end, both sides will be happy and satisfied and to make sure John's legacy carries on infinity.
