The Two Mrs. Lennons

"Yoko leads her life which is extraordinary and I have mine how I like it .... ordinary."

Cynthia, 1995

Yoko and Cynthia at Julian's Timeless photography exhibition opening at the Morrison Hotel Gallery on September 16, 2010 in New York City

Let me start by reminding my blog readers, new and old, that I have absolutely no intention of making this blog "anti Yoko". While it may seem like it is, and, granted, I have had my own share of misgivings about Yoko; but as I'm getting older, it's hardly worth the trouble. I don't hate Yoko, but I do wish she and John would've handled things differently, especially when it came to Cynthia and Julian's place in John's life, as well as Yoko's, to be like a blended family. Also, this particular entry post is about the relationship between Cynthia and Yoko; I already posted Yoko's relationship with Julian, and there will be more in the future of certain events and topics. 

Aside from their relationship with John and being a mother to his son, Yoko and Cynthia were as different as could be, yet very similar as well. Yoko was from Tokyo, Japan; her family were very wealthy, were neighbors with Emperor of Japan. Cynthia came from a working middle class family in Blackpool, near Liverpool. Although both were artists, their artwork couldn't be more different. Another common thing is that they had two siblings, yet Yoko was the eldest of a brother and sister while Cynthia was the youngest of two brothers. Both were born in the 1930s and lived through World War II, but there's a 6 years age difference. 

I think the best way to describe the relationship between Cynthia and Yoko is like mixing oil and water together - it's hard to blend together, always separating. I do believe there had been attempts... but it's nothing like the other relationships of other wives and ex wives: Pattie and Olivia are friends, there's an open communication between them. Similar thing with Maureen and Barbara. I think Heather and Nancy have no relationship whatsoever, however Heather did voiced her approval on Nancy being with Paul and being part of their child's life, so I would conclude they are polite to one another but aren't friends. I can't count Linda in as she died as Paul's wife; she never met Heather and although Linda met Nancy, she wouldn't have predicted that Nancy would later marry Paul. 

Here's a grand total of the known encounters Cynthia and Yoko have had:

1) August 24, 1967 at the Hilton Hotel where Maharishi Mahesh Yogi gave his lecture; Cynthia saw Yoko from a distance. As John and Cynthia were leaving, Yoko jumped in asking a ride home. They were stunned yet obliged, saying nothing during the ride. Before and after this first official encounter, Yoko visited various times at Kenwood, leaving behind jewelry and sending art gifts, including Kotex pad that puzzled Lillian and Cynthia. Cynthia and Yoko rarely encountered during this time. 

2) May 22, 1968 at Kenwood when Cynthia arrived home from Greece with Alex Madras and Jenny Boyd where she found John and Yoko in the kitchen wearing bathrobes.

3) another encounter during the Summer of 1968 when John and Yoko arrived at Kenwood to talk about the terms of divorce with Cynthia... the conversation pretty much went nowhere.

4) another encounter, this time with lawyers, at Kenwood with Pete Shotton welcoming Cynthia. John later told him whenever he tried talking to Cynthia, her lawyer refused the communication.

5) final divorce discussion encounter at Paul's house in London that went pretty much no where and Yoko apologizing not able to make tea.

6) at a London courthouse to sign the divorce documents for finalization before November 8th; that day Cynthia went to the courthouse to end her marriage while John was at the hospital with Yoko who was suffering a miscarriage. 

7) August of 1970 at Cynthia's home during her wedding celebration with Roberto Bassanini. 

8) sometime in late Summer of 1971, Yoko called Cynthia for them to deal with Julian's visits with John but Cynthia refused.

9) after John's death in December of 1980, Cynthia and Yoko spoke about Julian's travel arrangements. Cynthia wanted to come along for Julian, but Yoko refused. 

10) September of 1981 Yoko sent Cynthia a telegram wishing her luck on her Pen & Ink Drawings exhibition at Tower Gallery in Long Island, New York.

11) October 7, 1988 for the Imagine: John Lennon documentary premiere at the National Theatre in New York; after party at the Russian Tea Room.

12) October 25, 1988 for the Imagine: John Lennon documentary premiere at Canon Cinema in London. 

13) August 3, 1989, Cynthia went to The Dakota where Yoko lives to discuss the John Lennon tribute concert Sid Bernstein was organizing (more about this subject another post). That same night was Julian's concert at the Beacon Theater and an after party at Hard Rock Cafe. 

14) December 12, 1991 at Aunt Mimi's funeral. Cynthia attempted to talk to Yoko about the house John intended to give to his sisters while Yoko asks Cynthia for mother advice on a teenage boy. Afterwards, Cynthia wrote to Yoko regarding the home for Julia and Jackie.

15) June 30, 2006 in Las Vegas, Nevada for The Beatles Cirque du Soleil LOVE show premiere.

16 and final encounter) September 16, 2010 at Julian's Timeless photography exhibition at Morrison Hotel Gallery in New York City.

Here's a collection of quotes mostly by Cynthia: 

"I met Yoko after I came home on a holiday. But I had seen her before. I met her physically, you could say. She'd been staying the night with John, and I came home and they were there, which was sort of curtains for our marriage as far as all of us were concerned, really. ... I knew there was not a thing I could do about it. Any more than I could do about John taking drugs at the time. There was no way I could have stopped him."

Cynthia, 1985

"We're completely different characters and natures and cultures. I don't actually think he judged our kind of art, he just got involved emotionally and every other way with Yoko. So, I don't think he judged me against Yoko. I mean, I'm an illustrator really and a cartoonist. Then I write. So, it was a completely different kind of scenario. But, he got carried away completely with Yoko and her Imagine Art or Conceptual Art and that's what he followed. I think it was probably nearer to his conceptual writing, if you understand what I'm saying. I think he met his match with Yoko, I mean artistically."

Cynthia 

"Yoko had 10 years and I had 10 years and I would rather have had the 10 years I had than the ones she did. I had the raw talent and the raw human being, before the sycophants arrived."

Cynthia, 2000

“Yes, I have [tried to get along with Yoko]. And there’s a certain point when you stop hitting your head against a brick wall. The reason I did it was that there are two boys there, Sean and Julian. They’re half-brothers, they have the same father – they should be best buddies, they could really be helping each other, working with each other and enjoying each other’s company, but that wasn’t to be."

Cynthia, 2007

"I think no matter what two people have gone through - divorce, arguments, whatever - that its a tragedy not to be able to talk over things in later life on a nice even keel. It's tragic for Julian - and for me not to be able to talk to John about Julian. He occasionally speaks to his half brother Sean, but its not very often. I communicate with Yoko. But contrary to what the media would prefer to believe, we don't fight. We saw each other last at Auntie Mimi's funeral and it was all perfectly civil". 

Cynthia, 1995

"John kept Yoko up to date on all the arrangements. After one call, he hung up and said, 'You know Cynthia's still in love with me. She'll do anything to get me back.' 'John, you and Yoko haven't seen Cynthia in four years. Are you mind readers? How do you know what's going on in her head? And even if it's true, what can she do to get you back if you don't want to go? What are you worried about?' John shrugged and tried to laugh it off, but it was quite clear to me that he was still under Yoko's spell, and she had chosen, for some mysterious reason of her own, to get him agitated and upset about Cynthia. Even I, in my vulnerable position, recognized before I met her that Cynthia meant John no harm.

Nevertheless Yoko kept working at it. The next day, after one of her phone calls, John repeated what he had said the day before. Again I tried to joke him out of it, but he kept repeating those ridiculous statements, and every time he repeated them he grew more anxious about the visit and more convinced that he did not want to see Cynthia. I think at that point more than any other I began to fear the power of Yoko's influence over John: To turn John against Cynthia was to make sure that John would never see Julian."

May Pang, Loving John, 1983

"The world is certainly bigger than two women who loved the same man."

Cynthia, 1990

"Realistically it's about what you'd expect. We have spoken over the years. We have stood together and watched our two boys on stage. We are both part of John's family."

Cynthia, 1990

For the most part, Yoko has kept mostly mum on the subject of Cynthia. I couldn't find too much of anything with the exception of other subjects I've covered in the past and continue in the future. My opinion on their relationship was ... complicated. It was clear from the start - before John fell in love with Yoko - that these two would never be friends. I don't think there was hatred between the two women, I do think the negativity part got dramatic and exaggerated by the press and fans. I do believe Yoko downplayed John's love story with Cynthia to nothing but an obligation, as did many others. I also believe there was a part of Yoko's mind that was threatened by Cynthia, perhaps knowing if John and Cynthia spoke friendly terms something could've re-sparked their romance? Why else insisting that Yoko talked to Cynthia about Julian's welfare instead of John? If Yoko was confident that John loved only her, why go through the painstakingly trouble of driving a wedge between him and his ex wife and son? Did she really want John all to herself? Okay, I don't want to dwell on this, so I'll conclude this post with this:

After Cynthia died in 2015, Yoko released two statements (already posted! Check the labels over there ➡ on the blog, like 2015 or Yoko) and, to me, they sounded very genuine and heartfelt. I do believe Yoko looked up to Cynthia while raising a teenage boy during the 1980s, early 1990s, as a single mother. Maybe Yoko did admire Cynthia more than we know, or even SHE realized?