A Country with No Phones: Libya

In August of 1965, Cynthia took a trip to Libya to visit her eldest brother, Charles. I don't know if her mother Lillian accompanied her but most likely she did. I don't know the exact dates, but definitely around the week of her wedding anniversary with John on the 23rd. Julian was definitely not with Cynthia as she was always consistent that Julian's first abroad trip was to Italy in 1966. In fact, it was fairly recently that I discovered that Cynthia went to Libya. There is a quote by John (that will be here momentarily) that he hadn't called his wife because she was where there were no phones. I always assumed it was a joke or some kind of innuendo that just didn't click together. Well, now it clicks! I did know that Charles lived in Libya as Cynthia mentioned it in both her books that when it was clear that she and John were getting a divorce, Charles helped get her an attorney after Lillian contacted him. Meanwhile, John was on tour with The Beatles in America, and was occasionally asked if he was in touch with Cynthia.

John, have you called your wife yet? (Press conference, 1965)
“No, she’s in a country where they don’t have phones." John

John, is it true that you were not home for the third year in a row on your anniversary? (Press conference, August 22, 1965)
"Why should I have been? Birthdays and such are a lot of rubbish. We don’t have birthday celebrations or anything like that. Don’t even bother with them. Besides that my wife is in Libya and I couldn’t see her if I was home." John

"I’d ring home, too, but my wife’s in Libya visiting her brother … You can’t ring Libya."

John (August 23, 1965)

There had been reports that during this time John was in a cranky mood. It was around the same time John wrote to Cynthia about not being there for Julian as he should be as a father. I believe he was certainly homesick and missed his family while going through the best milestones like performing at Shea Stadium and meeting his idol, Elvis Presley. 
Two years later, in August of 1967, John and Cynthia were considering going to Libya but plans changed to go to Bangor, Wales to attend a seminar by Maharishi Mahesh Yogi (when Cynthia famously missed the train). 

"Cyn and I were thinking of going to Libya, until this came up. Libya or Bangor? Well, there was no choice, was there?"

John, 1967

Another Girl: Yoko Ono

Yoko Ono was born on February 18, 1933 to Eisuke and Isoko Ono in Tokyo, Japan. At the time of her birth, Eisuke was living in America as a banker- he didn't meet Yoko until she was three years old when her mother took her to San Francisco, California. Yoko has a brother Keisuke and sister Setsuko; they were mostly raised by the family's servants while their mother was a socialite. The Ono family moved constantly between Japan and America for a number of years until 1953 when they moved to New York (Eisuke and Isoko moved back to Japan for good in 1962). Yoko attended college and lived in New York City. In 1957, she married Toshi Ichiyanagi against her parents' wishes. Around this time, Yoko started her career in art. In 1962, Yoko started a new relationship with Anthony Cox while still married; she divorced Toshi in 1963 and quickly married Tony. They welcomed their daughter Kyoko Ono Cox on August 3, 1963 in Tokyo. With Tony primarily taking care of Kyoko, Yoko mostly focused on her art, putting on art exhibitions. They moved to New York City where Yoko would work in between projects as a waitress and cook to make ends meet; Tony and Kyoko would occasionally take an interactive part in her art displays. In 1966, they moved to London.

On November 9, 1966, John Lennon attended a preview of Yoko's exhibition before it was opened to the public. They became somewhat friends while Yoko wanted John to sponsor her as an artist. While John was in India in early 1968, Yoko would send him one-line letters. By the time he returned back to England, John wanted to get to know Yoko more and they fell in love. John divorced Cynthia and Yoko divorced Tony; they married on March 20, 1969. They moved to Ascot and partnered together in art, music, pulling publicity stunts and protests to promote peace during the Vietnam War. By 1972, tired of the bad press, John's fans poor treatment against Yoko, and her tense custody fight over Kyoko that resulted in long term estrangement, John and Yoko moved to New York City. In late 1973, they were in a rough patch: John cheated on Yoko while she felt she was losing her independent identity, so she decided they needed a separation. Knowing that John would date other women, Yoko set him up with their assistant May Pang. During their separation, Yoko focused on her music and toured in Japan. She and John were in daily contact; then, in January of 1975, they reunited and welcomed Sean Taro Ono Lennon on October 9, 1975 in New York City. John settled in the domestic routine while temporarily retiring from music to focus on Sean while Yoko settled in handling their business affairs. In 1980, John returned to music- they released Double Fantasy and were planning to tour and visit England. But, on December 8, 1980, while returning home late at night from recording, John was murdered. Yoko accompanied John to the hospital, however it was too late. After John's death, Yoko focused on raising Sean while maintaining John's estate as well as her own career in music and art. By 1997, Yoko was reunited with her daughter Kyoko and became a grandmother (Emi was born in 1997, Jack in 2000). Yoko lives in New York City.

After the Divorce

"People always want to remind me of the Beatles. They ask if I know what's happening to them, will they really get back together again. I say, 'You read the papers, you know as much as I do.' They can't understand that for me it's all over. It's been eight years since my divorce from John. That's a long time."

Cynthia, 1976

Unfortunately I can't say that after their divorce John and Cynthia remained friends (example: Ringo and Maureen, George and Pattie) or manage to co-exist for the sake of their child (example: Paul and Heather). John was the only divorce Beatle who wanted nothing to do with Cynthia; he was the type that once something is finished, it's finished and forgotten, out of mind, out of sight, move on… Well, same with Paul regarding Heather Mills, but to his credit, they do make it work for their daughter. Paul still treats his ex-wife better than John did. Because John died while Julian was still a teenager, we would never know if John could face Cynthia at Julian's graduation or wedding. I don't know if John knew he would have some kind of a relationship with Cynthia, after all they were forever tied together by their son. John did encounter Cynthia a few times after their divorce in 1968.

Instead of picking up/dropping off Julian at Cynthia's house himself (just as well since John was a horrible driver and with terrible sense of direction), Julian's visits were arranged through Peter Brown and transportation from chauffeur Les Anthony. Meanwhile, Ringo and Paul have had no problems going to their exes's homes to pick up/drop off their children.

Julian, Roberto Bassanini, and Cynthia after their wedding at Kensington Registry Office on July 31, 1970

In August of 1970, Cynthia and her new husband Roberto Bassanini hosted a housewarming party to celebrate their marriage. John and Yoko came, as did Paul, Linda, George, Pattie, Ringo, and Maureen. The Beatles were already broken up and had lawsuits flying in every direction, things were frosty yet John would rather talk to them than to Cynthia, who he mostly ignored in her own home and party. According to Peter Brown, the next day John contacted Cynthia to come over that day and spent many hours alone with Julian in his room. Afterwards, John came down, was in a good mood enough to have a chat with Cynthia over a cup of tea. Things were going well and hopeful until it ended when Yoko called being all suicidal- John quickly went home. Is Yoko psychic? How would she have known that John and Cynthia were chatting cordially? Do I think that if Yoko wasn't around and a different woman instead, would John and Cynthia have a cordial relationship? I like to think so. Or Yoko suck it up and let John and Cynthia communicate. 

Then, in 1971, John and Yoko decided that he would deal with Tony Cox regarding Kyoko and Yoko with Cynthia about Julian. Like that would work out! As it turned out, Cynthia said no to Yoko over the phone and Tony kidnapped Kyoko and lived anonymously in central America with rare minimal contact with Yoko (known twice, 1976 and 1980 by a telegram of condolences after John's death); Kyoko and Yoko reunited in the mid-1990s. 

"There were plenty of bad articles about John, and I worked very hard to keep them well away from Julian. But of course the parents of the other kids told them, and they passed it on to Julian in a garbled form. There was no way of protecting him completely, and he was getting very mixed up. As time passed and he didn't see his father I could see that the image of the human being that he'd known was vanishing in his mind, and being replaced by a voice on a record, a face on the TV screen, and a few muttered stories at school. But I couldn't do that because I knew how John had thought of his father all that time he was being brought up by his aunt. And when he finally met him, of course, years had passed, and his dad had grown older and wasn't at all the way John thought he'd be. I didn't want that to happen to Julian, so I talked to him about the past, and tried to make him remember his father as a person."

Cynthia, 1976

Julian and John posing for photographs with Cynthia and May Pang in the background outside the United Artists Recording Studio on January 10, 1974

Photographed by Peter Borsari 

In January of 1974, Cynthia heard that John and Yoko were separated and managed to get his number. Cynthia called, and to her amazement, John picked up! He was surprised to hear from her. Cynthia reminded John that he has a son that needed his father. At the same time, May Pang was encouraging John to reconnect with Julian. 

"It was a very strange period for John and Yoko and anybody who was working for them. You could feel the tension between them. One day, Yoko walks into my office and says, 'I’ve got to talk to you.' I’m thinking, 'I haven’t had my first cup of coffee yet.' She said, 'John and I are not getting along.' I said, 'I’m so sorry to hear that.' Meanwhile everyone could feel it. She said, 'You know, he’s probably going to start seeing other people.' Then I hear, 'Oh, you don’t have a boyfriend.' I said, 'What? I’m not interested.' She said, 'Oh, I know, I know, but I still think you would be good for him.' I said, 'I’m not interested.' One day, we were going to the studio for John’s recording session, and as we were leaving to get to the studio, in the elevator, all of a sudden, John leaned over and gave me a kiss. He said, 'I’ve been waiting to do this all day.' I said, 'What are you talking about?' What happened was, he’d liked me. When he started to pursue me, I kept backing off. Finally, he was more insistent than I had anticipated. It’s hard to resist someone after so long."

May Pang, 2017

"Also, he hadn’t seen his son Julian in three years, and I was able to get him to talk to Cynthia, his first wife, to have closure he never had. There was a lot of loose ends, and that closure was needed."

May Pang, 2017

“Julian and his father— he hadn’t seen him in three years. And so I worked awfully hard to rekindle that relationship and keep it going. I wanted to make it easy and I also arranged it so that Cynthia was in the picture; he hadn’t seen her either. They never had proper closure. I was just trying to make it all comfortable and easy so that everyone could move on."

May Pang, 2017

"Well, when May was with John for the 18 months, during that time I brought Julian over to stay with John and May, and I went off on holiday in L.A. But I wanted Julian to see his father and May was with him at the time and they got along beautifully. You know, we got on very well together. You know, when two people love the same person, it’s hard to describe, but it’s just that we get on very well together. And there’s no sort of bitterness or anything, and Julian loved May, and May was very kind with Julian, and so that’s how it evolved, came about."

Cynthia, 1982

Julian and John posing for photographs with Cynthia and May Pang in the background outside the United Artists Recording Studio on January 10, 1974

Photographed by Peter Borsari 

It was soon arranged for Julian and Cynthia to travel to New York. John paid for their tickets. John was jittery- it had been 3 years since he last saw Julian. Things have changed: especially Julian's growth from aged 7 to now 11. Cynthia and Julian traveled from England to America by boat, sailing, by coincidence, with Elton John, who was very impressed by Julian's mannerisms. John mostly dreaded seeing Cynthia… That being said, there must have been something as Cynthia attempted to smuggle England's specialty blood sausages that was difficult to find in America but it was confiscated by customs (May eventually found a butcher shop that sold blood sausages). John and May greeted Julian and Cynthia. For John and Julian, there were hugs and kisses. For Cynthia, John managed to be polite yet frosty by giving her a peck on the cheek. Then he turned his attention on Julian, the sole purpose of this trip, while mostly ignoring Cynthia. She was hurt but figured it was more important for John and Julian to reconnect. Cynthia was going to stay with Jenny Boyd but the plan fell through, so John put her up at a hotel. John and May went to Los Angeles, along with Julian and Cynthia. Once again, John ignored her but May and Cynthia bonded. In Los Angeles, Cynthia went to stay with studio session drummer Jim Keltner and his family. There was a day when John was going to take Julian out but he threw a major tantrum because he wanted Cynthia to come along. John wasn't too thrilled with the idea but Julian wasn't going to lighten up so he relented. Betcha John ignored her… yep, he did! Cynthia was literally dragging herself behind with the party, sad that John hadn't given her the time to sit down and talk. Mal Evans was part of the entourage and kept Cynthia company. Mal decided that John's behavior to Cynthia went far enough and arranged a gathering that would give John and Cynthia an opportunity to sit down and talk, relax. Thankfully, it worked and even Yoko's daily numerous phone calls didn't damper the mood. John and Cynthia talked about Julian, her divorce from Roberto, their friends, India (according to May), and… an idea of having another child… according to both John and May while Cynthia later claimed that was rubbish. But it may be very true as May wrote about it in her first book, Loving John, and John wrote about it in some letters to a relative, as well as an open letter to Cynthia when her book was being published. I do want to go deeper on the idea of another child, but it will be in a different post. Let's stick to their encounters after the divorce: All in all, John and Cynthia found satisfied closure to their relationship. The next time John saw Julian, Cynthia wouldn't have to come along- he would be under the care of a flight attendant.

That was the last time John and Cynthia would see each other.

"In 1972 I suddenly realized that Julian hadn't seen his father for three years. I felt something should be done about it. Maybe I should have left matters alone, but Julian had an image of his father on a television screen, and that was all. I thought that was terribly sad and possibly damaging to him. Other children he met could talk about their fathers, but he only knew his father as a Beatle. A few months later I took Julian over there, and I stayed with a friend while Julian had a holiday with his father. Since then their relationship has been beautiful. They talk a lot on the phone, there've been other visits, and he's going again this year. I believe now that John is completely off all drugs, has been off them for years, otherwise I'd never let Julian go. As it is, I'm easy in my mind."

Cynthia, 1976

"Just after we seperated John went to live in America for four years, with Yoko Ono. We didn't hear from him at all during that time, nothing. So I took Juilan to America so that he could get to know his father properly, and that's how we began to talk again. John couldn't handle the confrontation or the guilt. It did both of us good to talk again, and of course it was important for Julian because after that he could go stay with his father and they got close then."

Cynthia, 1996

"There were so many petty jealousies. I went there for Julian's sake but it was a very awkward situation for us all. It was certainly no holiday"

Cynthia, 2000

But the contact didn't end there. 

When Cynthia married John Twist in 1976, John (who reunited with Yoko and had a new child, Sean) sent a congratulatory telegram. Around the same time, Cynthia wrote to John regarding Julian's education fees to have her access the money easier rather than having to wait for John and Yoko's signatures. Luckily, John agreed.

I don't know if John and Cynthia ever spoke on the phone whenever John would call Julian. I believe they did and exchanged awkward pleasantries.

"Soon after the Beatles parted John and Yoko moved to New York and Julian's visits to his father petered out. Contact was difficult. John and Yoko had come to an arrangement whereby any matters relating to her daughter Kyoko from a previous marriage were dealt with through John and anything to do with Julian was handled by Yoko.Julian inherited John's musical ability.  He looks and sounds incredibly like him, too. Maybe it was wrong of me but I refused to talk to Yoko about Julian and in the end Julian managed occasional phone calls to John himself. But it wasn't a satisfactory state of affairs. I wanted Julian to grow up knowing his dad. At the moment the only time he ever saw him was on the television. My relationship with John had failed, I accepted that, but Julian would always be his son and I wanted them to be close. Then in 1973 I saw a chance to bring them together. I read in the papers that John and Yoko had split up and John was now living with a young Chinese girl called May Pang. So I wrote to him and asked if I could bring Julian for a visit. I found out later that John wasn't keen. He was fraught and nervous at this time and terrified of seeing me. He didn't want to be reminded of the past. But he did want to see Julian and May Pang helped tip the scales. She came from a close-knit Chinese family and she couldn't understand why John had not set eyes on his son for four years. So Julian and I went to New York. By now I was back in contact with Patti and Maureen and Patti's sister Jenny had by this time moved to New YOrk. The arrangement was that I would check into a hotel, John would collect Julian and take him off for a fortnight's holiday and I would go and stay with Jenny. Unfortunately though, to my embarrassment, the plans fell apart. Jenny was not at home when I phoned and I couldn't reach Patti back in England. John and May Pang arrived. John was very nervous and twitchy with me and he was quite thin but overall he was looking better than in his last pictures. He'd shaven off the beard and his hair was short which made him look much younger. He was civil but it was very awkward. But Julian was delighted to see his dad. He ran to him and gave him a big hug and once John's wariness had faded he was over the moon to see his son. There was a lot of hugging and kissing. As for me, it was very strange. Just being in the same room with John stirred up so many memories. I still cared for him, I couldn't stop caring for him but the old sparkle was gone. The physical attraction was missing. He'd changed so much he wasn't the same in my eyes anymore. As well as being my son, Julian has been a wonderful friend. 'Look, I'm terribly sorry,' I said after a few minutes, 'but I'm in a mess. I'm supposed to be staying with Jenny, it was organized by Patti, but Jenny doesn't seem to be there. I don't know what I'm going to do.' I felt terrible. I'm sure he thinks I've engineered it, I thought. But John was sympathetic. 'It's okay,' he said, 'We're taking Julian to Los Angeles. You can come with us, I'll put you up in a hotel and I can come and take Julian to Disneyland and everywhere.' So that's what we did but it remained a difficult situation. Like children everywhere Julian wanted his parents to be together and one morning when John arrived to take him to Disneyland he got very distressed. 'I want mummy to come,' he insisted. He wanted to go but he didn't want to leave me. He clung to me and sobbed and it was very awkward. In the end I went too but it was awful. I felt I was muscling in and the atmosphere was polite and strained. Julian fortunately was blissfully unaware of the grown-ups' hang-ups and had a ball. And May Pang was wonderful. She was extremely kind and sensitive and I liked her very much. Just before we left though, John and I did at last talk naturally. One of the roadies we used to know in Britain had moved to LA and invited us to a party at his home. John asked me to come and during the evening he talked to me pleasantly. He asked about Roberto and I explained what went wrong. John seemed genuinely sorry that it hadn't worked out. At last, when no one was watching, the guards came down and he allowed himself to care. That was the closest we came.I never saw him again. My third husband was John Twist.  We got on like a house on fire and John and Yoko even sent us a telegram wishing us happiness. Back in England I moved to the North and in 1976 I married John Twist, a sensible, down-to-earth engineer. He was gentle, polite and quite handsome and we got on like a house on fire. Oddly enough, John and Yoko, now reunited, even sent us a telegram to our wedding wishing us happiness."

Cynthia, 1994

Cynthia, Julian, and John walking in Los Angeles on January 10, 1974.

Photographed by Peter Borsari 

It was the last time John and Cynthia would see each other

Starting to Crumble

"It was a period of great, great change in John’s life. He didn’t know which direction he was going to take. The direction was chosen for him, anyway. Well, by his meeting with Yoko. That was it."

Cynthia, 1987

You would think that with John done with touring that his marriage would've lasted longer… maybe if The Beatles hadn't stopped touring, would John's marriage to Cynthia lasted? Hard to say. Drugs would still be around, as would John's infidelity. Or if John and Cynthia stayed in Spain one week longer so that he wouldn't have met Yoko Ono? Chances are John would have encountered Yoko regardless for being in an artistic world. Well, let's get out of the What Ifs scenarios and go back to reality:

John and Cynthia arriving at Heathrow Airport in London from Spain after John finished filming How I Won the War as Private Gripweed on November 6, 1966.

Yoko Ono at Indica Art Gallery in London for her exhibition Unfinished Paintings and Objects, November of 1966. 

John and Cynthia arrived home from Spain after he filmed How I Won the War on November 6, 1966… Three days later, on November 9, 1966, John Dunbar invited John over to his Indica Art Gallery to preview a new art exhibition Unfinished Paintings and Objects by Yoko Ono before opening to the public. John heard about Yoko before from reading about her in newspapers; he originally thought her art was whacky but agreed to go. After John went around the gallery, he met Yoko who encouraged him to climb a ladder with a magnifying glass hanging from the ceiling with YES in small print. Yoko then handed him a card that said BREATHE and a copy of her book, Grapefruit. John soon became fascinated with her work, writings, and Yoko herself.

“I got the word that this amazing woman was putting on a show the next week, something about people in bags, in black bags, and it was going to be a bit of a happening and all that. So I went to a preview the night before it opened. I went in- she didn't know who I was or anything- and I was wandering around. There were a couple of artsy-type students who had been helping, lying around there in the gallery, and I was looking at it and was astounded. There was an apple on sale there for two hundred quid; I thought it was fantastic- I got the humor in her work immediately. I didn't have to have much knowledge about avant-garde or underground art, the humor got me straightaway. It was two hundred quid to watch the fresh apple decompose. But it was another piece that really decided me for or against the artist: a ladder that led to a painting, which was hung on the ceiling. It looked like a white canvas with a chain with a spyglass hanging on the end of it. I climbed the ladder, looked through the spyglass, and in tiny little letters it said, YES. So it was positive. I felt relieved. It's a great relief when you get up the ladder and you look through the spyglass and it doesn't say NO or FUCK YOU or something. I was very impressed and John Dunbar introduced us - neither of us knew who the hell we were, she didn't know who I was, she'd only heard of Ringo, I think, it means apple in Japanese. And Dunbar had sort of been hustling her, saying, 'That's a good patron, you must go and talk to him or do something.' John Dunbar insisted she say hello to the millionaire. And she came up and handed me a card which said 'breathe' on it, one of her instructions, so I just went [pant]. This was our meeting” 

John, 1970

John may have been floored, impressed, but I wouldn't say it was love at first sight. John and Yoko developed a strange friendship; he even got rather annoyed with her! Yoko wanted John to sponsor her- I believe he did at some point in 1967. She started stalking him, showing up at his home, staying for hours that gained pity from Housekeeper Dot and Cynthia's mother Lillian who made the mistake of letting Yoko in to call for a ride home. Yoko used that opportunity to leave behind a piece of jewelry and then come to get it back the next day. She also started sending odd "art" packages of broken cups and tampons that freaked Cynthia out.

“I was making little art projects. You’re supposed to mend the cup that is broken. The idea is, when you open the Kotex box and go through it, there is something red in there.”

Yoko, 1980

“I was married and my wife wondered who was this woman who sent me a box of Kotex, ‘This is actually an artist’s work, my dear. This artist happens to work with Kotex. One of the avant-garde fields, Kotex, you see.'"

John, 1980

Yoko gave John her book, Grapefruit, which he read in bed. Cynthia one time asked what he was reading and found out that John and Yoko met, despite John continuing to refer Yoko as a whacky artist. I do think that there was a part of John that was freaked out by Yoko, she does have a rather dominating personality that's captivating and attractive for John.

"Well, it’s very difficult. You can write a book about that. But, and then again, maybe you can’t. Because it’s the kind of magic that you can’t express in words maybe. But we didn’t know it was going to be like this."

Yoko, 1987

Yoko with John during the recording session for the song The Fool On The Hill at EMI Studios, Abbey Road, London, September 25 1967. This was the first time John brought Yoko to the studio.

Besides the growing attraction of John and Yoko, there were other things going on in his marriage to Cynthia. There were the drugs… which I already covered. But it wasn't the only problem. The more John sank into the psychedelic world, the more far apart he was going from Cynthia. Their sex life became far and few in between, they developed a habit where if one is sleeping, the other would sleep in the spare room not to disturb the sleeper. Cynthia would often go out and about with her mother. John and Cynthia were living two different worlds in one roof. 

"I think we both changed. But I did not want to go down the road that John was going."

Cynthia, 1987

"Until about the summer of 1967 I thought the house was reasonably happy. I do remember some differences of opinion between Mr. and Mrs. Lennon but nothing out of the ordinary. Mr. Lennon was frequently away on tour, filming, and recording and I did not see very much of him… From about a year ago Mr. Lennon did not seem as keen as before to take Mrs. Lennon out with him to various functions, studio recordings, etc., to which he had previously taken Mrs. Lennon. I quite often heard Mrs. Lennon ask whether she could accompany him, but he had refused, making excuses for not taking her. He would only take her, if they had been invited together. The atmosphere seemed to change and there seemed more tension. As a result Mrs. Lennon was often depressed and unhappy."

Dorothy Jarlett, the Lennon's housekeeper

Okay, back to Yoko and John's friendship of sorts…

I don't think Cynthia knew that John and Yoko had developed a friendship… could it be naive? Denial? Or Cynthia was in her own world that she didn't notice until it was too late? All Cynthia knew for sure was that John was changing in front of her eyes. During the summer of 1967, as her marriage started to fail, neither John or Cynthia were ready to call it quits. 

On August 24, 1967, The Beatles, along with Cynthia, Pattie, Maureen, and Jane, went to the Hilton Hotel to meet with the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi for a lecture and arrangements for the train trip. Yoko was also there. From my understanding, John didn't know she was going to be there nor did he acknowledged her existence until she decided to ride with John and Cynthia to take her home. John was genuinely shocked by the move.

"That was the first contact. And then we had a few letters from Yoko asking for help, you know, with her cause and her art, and then it just… It’s very hard to be suspicious under those circumstances. John was just surrounded at the time by very weird people."

Cynthia, 1987

"Well, that was an occasion, it was something to do with the Maharishi. We went to a meeting, and Yoko happened to be at the meeting. And she asked for a lift to wherever it was she was living and she got in the car. I said to John, 'Why?' He said, :I don’t know.' And that was it. Well, only Yoko can say that, not me. It happened, these things happen in life. I knew at the time there was nothing I could do to stop what was happening. He was hell-bent on something. And it happened to end up he was hell-bent on Yoko. What he was looking for was a woman and a man combined. Someone he could call a pal, someone who was a woman, someone who encompassed everything in his life. He wanted to thin down his life with one person that he could put his trust in and believe in.”

Cynthia, 1987

“A few days before we left, we had a meeting with the Maharishi’s assistant at a house in London to finalise details of the trip. As we entered the main room, I saw seated in a corner armchair, dressed in black, a small Japanese woman. I guessed immediately that this was Yoko Ono, but what on earth was she doing there? Yoko introduced herself to the group, then sat silent, taking no part in the proceedings. John chatted to the other Beatles and the Maharishi’s assistant and appeared not to notice her. My mind was racing. What on earth was going on? At the end of the evening our driver was waiting outside for us. He opened the car door and, to my astonishment, Yoko climbed in. John gave me a look that intimated he didn’t know what the hell was going on, shrugging, palms upturned, nonplussed. He leant and asked if we could give her a lift somewhere. ‘Oh, yes please, 25 Hanover Gate,’ Yoko replied. We climbed in and not another word was said until we dropped her off, when she said, ‘Goodbye. Thank you,’ and got out…”

Cynthia, 2008

"The first time that I ever came in contact with Yoko Ono was at a meditation session in London. Prior to that, letters addressed to John had arrived at our home asking for his help and support in getting her book Grapefruit off the ground. She claimed that no one understood her work and that if someone didn't help her, she would give up everything. I had also been informed by Dot, the housekeeper, that she had been to the house on numerous occasions asking after John, but had been unlucky on all her visits. I didn't think anything of this lady until the night of the meeting when she arrived all in black and sat quietly in the corner of the room. When I first set eyes on Yoko, I knew she was the one for John. It was pure instinct. The chemistry was right and the mental aura that surrounded them was almost identical. I'm sure that, at this point, John had not even given it a second thought…"

Cynthia

"Well, that’s not how it happened."

Yoko, 1987

Pattie Harrison trying to help Cynthia on the train while her sister Jenny Boyd held her while George Harrison looked on in horror at Euston Station on August 25, 1967

John peering through the window to see the commotion of Cynthia missing the train Euston Station on August 25, 1967

But when Cynthia missed the train to Bangor, the writing was on the wall. It was just the matter of time of when it was going to crash and burn. On August 25, 1967, The Beatles, along with Cynthia, Pattie Boyd Harrison, Jenny Boyd, Mick Jagger, and Marianne Faithful were going to Bangor to attend a seminar by Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. Ringo's wife Maureen didn't go as she just had her second baby and Jane had other acting commitments but managed to catch a ride with Neil Aspinall when he drove Cynthia to Bangor. Cynthia got behind while managing the luggage while everyone else sprinted to get in the train. Just as Cynthia was about to put her foot on the train, she was held back by policemen believing she was a fan. John was already on the train; Pattie quickly realized what was going on and tried to pull Cynthia in but couldn't… at least Pattie tried to help immediately! John realized Cynthia wasn't there and peered through the window, shouting at Cynthia to tell the police that she was with them but no. The door shut closed, and the train started to move. Cynthia couldn't help but felt this was a bad omen, her future, to see her husband fade away from her in the distance.

Cynthia crying while being escorted by Peter Brown and Neil Aspinall after missing the train from London to Bangor at Euston Station on August 25, 1967.

"John leapt out of the car with the others and ran for the platform- leaving me to follow with our bags. It was the result of years in which he’d taken it for granted that others would see to all the details. I followed him as fast as I could. The station was mayhem, with fans, reporters, police and passengers all milling around. I struggled to push my way through, but when I got to the platform my way was barred by a huge policeman who, unaware that I was with the Beatles party, said, ‘Sorry, love, too late, the train’s going,’ and pushed me aside." 

Cynthia 

"In the rush Cynthia was left behind– she was probably carrying the suitcases while John, empty-handed and thoughtless as ever, made a dash for it. And so the train pulled away and I shall never forget the sight of Cynthia running down the platform shrieking at John to wait."

Pattie Boyd, from her book, Wonderful Tonight: George Harrison, Eric Clapton and Me, 2007

“John's wife Cyn got left behind in the crush, and as the train left the station she was just standing there, so I drove her to Bangor that day. Some friends of mine were staying in a caravan in North Wales, and after I dropped Cyn off I went to see them.” 

Neil Aspinall

“I remember Cynthia not making the train, which was terrible and very symbolic. She was the only one of our party not to get there… That was the end of her and John, really, weirdly enough.” 

Paul McCartney

"It was on 25 August that the train, bearing Beatles, Yogi, friends and families, not forgetting the reporters and photographers, left London's Euston Station from platform 8- leaving guess who on the platform? I watched tearfully as the train slowly drew away from the platform. John, realizing that someone was missing from his baggage, poked his head out of the window and other heads sprouted their way out to see what was happening. 'Tell the (a policeman who had pushed me aside) to let you on. Tell them you're with us,' John shouted. I found it very embarrassing.  Brian's secretary told me not to worry, telling me that Neil would drive me to Bangor and that we would probably get there before the train arrived. I knew that, when I missed the train, it was synonymous with all my premonitions for the future. I just knew, in my heart, as I watched all the people that I loved fading into the hazy distance, that that was to be my future. The loneliness I felt on that station platform would be a permanent loneliness before very long. I shivered at that thought."

Cynthia

“I was crying because the incident seemed symbolic of what was happening to my marriage. John was on the train, speeding into the future, and I was left behind. As I stood there, watching the train disappear into the distance, I felt certain that the loneliness I was experiencing on that platform would become permanent one day.” 

Cynthia

John and Cynthia at Bangor Normal College on August 26, 1967

When Cynthia (and Jane) caught up with everyone in Bangor, John was not happy with her on not being able to keep up. Well, John, maybe if you gave Cynthia the first thought of making sure she was next to you, then this wouldn't have happened? Maybe if you guys weren't running as late, then this wouldn't have happened? Cynthia has said that she was ready to go on time while everyone else was running behind… The Beatles were used to having their luggage being handled by someone else as they dashed from plane to car in the matter of seconds while Cynthia wasn't used to the rush. 

On August 27, 1967, their world turned upside down when news of Brian Epstein's death came. There was a phone call that Jane picked up and handed the phone to Paul. I promise you that Brian's death and the Maharishi involvement will be deeply examined in a post of it's own so I will say this much on the subject that for the moment John and Cynthia got closer in grief. Both were in deep shock over the sudden death, and perhaps another nail being pounded on the coffin of their strained marriage. 

New Year and Last Vacation

December 29, 1967 - January 3ish, 1968

Morocco

Postcard from John in Morocco to Ringo in England.

Source: Postcards From the Boys, 2004

"This is a very old card. I think this is probably the only card I've got from John and Cyn. And Victor Spinetti. Anyway, that's nice to have. Marrakech. Victor and John were friendly enough to go on holiday."

Ringo Starr

John and Cynthia with an unidentified man in Morocco

There's not very much about this vacation. Victor Spinetti came with them. They left on December 29, 1967 from London and arrived in Casablanca. John, Cynthia, and Victor celebrated New Year's in Marrakech with author John Hopkins on January 31st and January 1st. The party was hosted by Paul and Talitha Getty in their palace in Medina. According to John Hopkins, Paul McCartney was there, he and John were lying on their backs, couldn't get up, nor talk… wasted drunk or tripping on drugs. But, I never heard Paul was actually there since he just got recently engaged to Jane Asher and they went to Scotland. Maybe John Hopkins meant Victor? Anyway, a blizzard happened after New Year's. Other than that, Cynthia had never mentioned or wrote about the trip.

Cynthia, John, and John Hopkins in Marrakech celebrating New Year's

Another thing is that this was John and Cynthia's last official getaway as a couple; yes, there was the Rishikesh trip but that was something else- I don't really classify it as a vacation, more like a retreat. It lasted for about a week.

Rest in Peace Cynthia

"Cynthia Lennon passed away today at her home in Mallorca, Spain following a short but brave battle with cancer. Her son Julian Lennon was at her bedside throughout. The family are thankful for your prayers. Please respect their privacy at this difficult time."

Cynthia in 2014

On the morning of April 1, 2015, Cynthia Lennon Charles died in her home in Spain. It was April Fool's Day and, yes, it was first thought to be a cruel joke… I wondered if Cynthia was aware of the date as she took her last breaths? Maybe she had a bit of a chuckle. It was also the same date that her ex-father-in-law Alfred Lennon died on. I honestly wanted to be a joke, maybe you and a lot of people did too. But the seriousness really poured in: it was officially on Julian's website and social media- most notably was the YouTube music video tribute. It was real. 

Cynthia lighting up John's cigarette at home in Kenwood, 1965

Photographed by Henry Grossman

For the majority of her life, Cynthia smoked cigarettes. As did John, as did the other three; George Harrison had both throat and lung cancer due to the excessive amount of smoking in the 1960s and it cost him his life. John continued to smoke up until his death- we would never know if smoking would've affected his health these days if he had lived. Paul and Ringo eventually quit at some point in the 1980s (as did George). At the time, you can smoke anywhere and everywhere from hospitals, restaurants, you name it. When they were dating, John used to smoke like a chimney but didn't like Cynthia to smoke- at the time, she was smoking two cigarettes a day. In the last 30 years or so, there was a realization that smoking cigarettes was bad for health. Cynthia's father Charles was also a heavy smoker and died of lung cancer in the summer of 1957 when Cynthia was only 17 and about to attend Liverpool College of Art.

“Of course, you can’t do it anywhere now. I’m going to have to wear the patches, I’m going to have to try. I could be an absolute druggy and I could be I don’t know how many feet under by now. But I’ve only this vice and the odd scotch. I’m okay so far.”

Cynthia, 2005

Cynthia was diagnosed with lung cancer in the beginning of the year, January of 2015. At that time, her discovery was too late; the cancer had already spread in her body. Time to get personal with a related experience: my grandmother died from lung cancer. She was coughing and coughing for several months and didn't understand why. At first, the obvious, maybe she was sick? Took medicine, stayed in bed. But no sniffles, no fever. Her energy was normal. Hmm? Maybe it's allergies? Dust? The Kleenex she was using to cough and sneeze? It took awhile for her to go to the last resort, the Doctor. She was diagnosed with lung cancer, and had spots on her liver (I don't think Cynthia had that). And, sadly, she couldn't do anything about it. My grandmother also was a smoker in the 1960s, 1970s. The cancer was wrapped around her esophagus/trachea area so much so that operation would not be ideal- a knick from the scaplel would've killed her. Grandma opted to die at home. Her energy level quickly went. It was in the Summer of 2006. In August, she gifted Mom and me a trip to Chicago for Beatles Fest and when returned, I went to see her to provide details and she laid down on the couch while dressed in shorts and t-shirt. She got completely bedridden by September, started to fade away in October, before passing away two weeks into November, missing eight days before her birthday. 

“My mum always said that you just kill people with kindness. There’s no need to be mean, nasty, or cruel to anybody. Mum was my rock. I didn’t handle it well at all. I threw myself into denial. I couldn’t believe that she was gone. The saddest words from her lips were, ‘I did this to myself.’ That was really hard to take. It was true to some degree. She was mostly comfortable until the last week. Then her body shut down. I don’t think she wanted me to witness her passing, I talk to her at night. She comes to me.This plane that we live on, this existence is the weirdest thing in the world, isn’t it? I’m in awe of it and overwhelmed by it every single day.”

Julian 2017

Now, it sounds like from Julian that Cynthia was quite active until the final week of her life, unlike my grandmother. I am guessing that her cancer's main place was not in the position that could be operated wasn't life threatening. If Cynthia had discovered her lung cancer early, then perhaps her life would've lasted longer. But hearing lung cancer… hate to be blunt but usually means you are out. It's rare to survive it but I personally can't think of who other than Alexis Davis on General Hospital, but that's a soap opera- people come back from the dead. Cynthia was a believer to heal herself before resorting to the Doctor, she admitted it in her first book A Twist of Lennon during her appendix pain. It's not really a surprise or shock that Cynthia waited it out until booking a Doctor appointment. Cynthia and Julian kept the news to themselves. Barely anybody knew! Not even May Pang. I highly doubtful that Yoko knew… maybe Sean knew? I'm iffy on that… a (half) brother should tell his (half) brother that his mother was dying, right? Maybe Yoko did know? That's why I am doubtful. Definitely Paul, Ringo, and Olivia didn't know. There were rumors of Cynthia's ailing health after her husband Noel Charles died in 2013, it got too persistent that Julian had to post on Facebook that his mother wasn't ill at all. Between Noel's and her death, Cynthia only did one interview (in 2014, just before she was diagnosed) and one public appearance for Julian's White Feather Foundation Gala. Cynthia had made it very clear around 2010 that she was done with the Beatles/John Lennon shadow and it was around the time Noel was diagnosed with prostate cancer. From her last interview, Cynthia was rejuvenating herself as an artist, working on her artwork and be seen as an artist.

Julian, Princess Charlene of Monaco, and Cynthia at The White Feather Foundation Charity Ball on May 10, 2013 in Monaco. 

This was Cynthia's first public appearance after her husband Noel Charles' death and her last public appearance. 

From what I gathered on Julian's social media over the last few years, Cynthia continued her art, she also packed up her belongings for Julian to take and inherit while leaving notes for him to find, including two white feathers, and eventually got hospice with a hospital bed in her home. Since her diagnosis, Julian rarely left her side, they joked, talked, spent time together, laughed, serious talks, whatever you do in the remaining moments that they had left. Not one to give up hope, Julian searched for treatments, some he never heard of. It does open a whole new world in the medical field and get educated more than you ever thought about. I don't think Julian stayed at her home though… would think so, but guess not as Julian left the night of March 31st and returned 15 minutes after she passed away. Cynthia must have died in the morning, considering it was late morning on the same day when I heard the news; there is a six hours difference between Florida (where I live) and Spain (where Cynthia lived). Despite the statement that he was by her side, Julian didn't witness her passing. When he told her that he'll see her tomorrow, she replied, "All right, love," but..

“It was sort of a resigned response. I felt something was different.”

Julian, 2017

Those were their last words to each other. To be fair, none of the family witnessed my grandmother's passing either. My mom was there but went to the grocery store to get lunch for herself and the two hospice nurses, my Aunt was driving on her way to see Grandma, my Uncle and I were at work, my cousins were in school, my Grandfather and his wife (my grandparents were divorced) were in their second home they had recently bought in North Carolina and immediately drove back to Florida after receiving the death news. I believe both my grandmother and Cynthia were aware of their surroundings, who were with them (in my grandmother's case, two hospice nurses), and decided to leave Earth behind so their children wouldn't see it. Olivia and Dhani saw George leave. Paul, Heather, Mary, Stella, and James saw Linda leave. Ringo, Zak, Jason, Lee, husband Isaac, and mother Florence saw Maureen leave. I'm not saying it's not fair, I believe it happened for a reason. I don't really regret not being there, it was hard enough to watch beforehand. The next and last time I saw my grandmother was at her memorial service in a coffin before being cremated. Cynthia was cremated and her ashes were given to Julian; on September 19, 2017, Julian decided it was time to let go of his mother to spread her ashes. Half were planted in the New Jacaranda trees in Julian's yard in Monaco that she loved and the other half was scattered into the sea. Understandably, Julian took his mother's death hard- he is a Mama's boy and those two were as close as they could be. Even today, Julian is still struggling. I think he will always struggle, to be honest. Look at Linda's four children, for example: you can still see them mourn after over 20 years. But the worst thing about it? Cynthia died seven days before her son's birthday. Ouch! 

Julian made one public appearance during his mother's illness at his Horizon photography exhibition at the Emmanuel Fremin Gallery on March 11, 2015 in New York City. Little did we, the public, know that Cynthia was in Spain dying. 

What was I doing on April 1, 2015 when I heard the news? Well, it was late morning and I was doing what I am always doing: Picture of the Day for both The Beatles Wives & Girls (BW&G) and Children of The Beatles (links on the side here ➡) for Instagram. Because it was April, I was prepping for Linda McCartney tributes. I glanced at Julian's posts on Instagram: there were pictures of candles and of his mother but no captions, so I thought how sweet yet a bit odd… maybe Julian was fooling around with Photoshop? Then I saw a comment mentioning Cynthia's death. That caused me an internet search frenzy to find out if this was true or a cruel joke. The news was just breaking at that moment and spreading. It was true. My heart broke. My favorite wife of the Beatles had died. As for BW&G, although Maureen and Linda had died, it happened way before the Facebook page as it started in 2010. It was our first death experience to deal with. Everything to do with Linda immediately went out the window except for the 17th. I quickly scraped together a month long tribute on Instagram dedicated to Cynthia. Then I had to go to work. Wasn't easy, I couldn't call and say that I was in mourning over someone I never met, I was tempted but knew it would be ridiculous if I were in the office's shoes. Honestly, I didn't know what to do, there was no warning. Of course, I didn't expect Julian to call me to give me a heads up. It's a miracle that I managed to put together a tribute.

Paul, Ringo, Barbara, Olivia, and Dhani last saw Cynthia in 2006. Julia Baird, John's sister, last saw Cynthia in September of 2014. May last saw Cynthia in 2014. Not really sure on Pattie, but the last known get together was in 2010 with Julian, Yoko, and Sean; same for Yoko and Sean. 

Cynthia in 2014

"The news of Cynthia’s passing is very sad. She was a lovely lady who I’ve known since our early days together in Liverpool. She was a good mother to Julian and will be missed by us all, but I will always have great memories of our times together."

Paul McCartney, 2015

"I'm just really sad that she passed so suddenly. It's a sad time. I hadn't spoken to her for a little time."

Pattie Boyd, 2015

"Sending our love and deepest sympathies to dear Julian Lennon. May God bless Cynthia always. Love,"

Olivia and Dhani Harrison, 2015

"Peace and love to Julian Lennon God bless Cynthia love, xx" 

Ringo Starr and Barbara Bach

"Words fail me... now she has her Angel wings....RIP Cyn. You are loved." 

Cynthia. From the Greek referring to The Moon Goddess Artemis. OUR beloved Cynthia saw her fair share of the dark side of the moon thru the tornado that was the Beatles, but she also had her sunshine always in her heart. Julian. Jules, you are her blessing, her legacy and her artistic talents, love, light, sharing and nurturing nature live on in you. After reading my essay The Chemistry of Lennon & McCartney she rang and asked me if I had 'swallowed a dictionary', and we reminisced about John & Paul’s 'pH balance' that brought the world so much music and so many memories. The last time we spoke, a few months ago, at least I made her laugh. Some silly Scouse joke about 3 blokes in a pub, but she laughed that unmistakable laugh of hers, a quiet, low giggle, still with the charm of the schoolgirl that met John Winston in Art School and then said, in her unique velvet voice 'Oh Luv, you can take the girl out of Liverpool…' God speed, dance with Noel tonight and save us a seat near the stage…"

Ruth McCartney, 2015

"Cynthia Lennon (1939-2015) R.I.P. We'll miss you! Our thoughts and our love and our prayers go to Julian at this difficult time."

Sean Lennon, 2015

"I would be walking down to the Liverpool Institute, while they were walking up to the Art College. I would say ‘Hi, John’ and ‘Hi, Cynthia’, and they would answer to the postbox because they were both as blind as bats without their glasses, and you wouldn’t wear glasses because you were too proud. She was the Wirral girl from Hoylake, and she’d always be around in some of the pictures I took as John was her fella in a group with my brother. That’s how I knew of her existence. After they divorced, she moved back up here, and my ex-wife used to cook in a restaurant Cynthia had in Ruthin in North Wales. The last time I saw her was in Vegas when the Love show was launched, when she was there with Julian. She hadn’t changed at all- she was basically a shy girl, dead straight, rather on the serious side. She was a lovely girl and I’ve got good memories of her. It’s very sad.”

Mike McCartney, 2015

For the month of April, John's estate social media (Facebook and Twitter) had a cover photo of Cynthia from Julian's website featured as a tribute. 

As for Yoko's statement? Well, it's going to have it's own post… to be continued.