“He often said it was a shame his family had to be pushed into the background. He regretted it, but once the Beatles wagon was rolling, he could not get off when he wanted to. He became exhausted and irritable when he was at home, and angry at his own absence when he wasn't there.”
Cynthia, 1985
Cynthia and John during The Beatles first United States visit on February 7, 1964
John's Tours
The Ballad Show Tour (Scotland; May 20-28, 1960)
Helen Shapiro (England; February 2- March 3, 1963)
Tommy Roe & Chris Montez (England; March 9- 31, 1963)
Spring (England; April 2- May 17, 1963)
Roy Orbison (United Kingdom, Sweden; May 18 - September 15, 1963)
Autumn (United Kingdom, Sweden; October 5- December 13, 1963)
France (January 15- February 4, 1964)
Spring (United Kingdom; April 19-30, 1964)
World Tour (Europe, Hong Kong, Australia, New Zealand; June 4- August 16, 1964)
North America (United States, Canada; August 19- September 20, 1964)
United Kingdom (October 9- November 10, 1964)
Europe (France, Italy, and Spain; June 20- July 3, 1965)
North America (United States, Canada; August 15-31, 1965)
United Kingdom (December 3-12, 1965)
Europe and Asia (Germany, Japan, Philippines; June 24- July 4, 1966)
North America (United States, Canada; August 12-29, 1966)
John first went on the road to Scotland in 1960 for only a few days before going to Hamburg. He sent Cynthia letters and postcards, which continued in Hamburg, writing 30+ pages of what was going on, drawings, poetry, whatever he offered. He did miss her and was opened about it. When the Beatles got more popular and more busier, John was rarely home and he continued to write to Cynthia, as well as calling whenever he could. This fact might surprise you: John did get homesick. I do believe John enjoyed touring. Heck, he saw that he could do anything he wanted [John the Cheating Husband post will be coming soon… drugs, too.] and definitely took advantage. But he was also in tight quarters. The Beatles had massive fans, causing mob scenes. They were stuck indoors and couldn't go anywhere. They did try to sneak out, sometimes successfully. They couldn't explore the sights; it was just a routine: hotel, gig, plane, hotel, gig, plane.
Retail sales had to come to them with clothes, jewelry, toys, etc.
“Lennon seemed to have a very traditional love for Cynthia and would call her nightly to check in and talk, in baby talk, to his son Julian. It was exciting to watch. Here was a Beatles, the idol of millions, savoring a few minutes on the phone with his wife.”
Art Schreiber, Radio Broadcaster
“Her name is Cyn and I miss her very, very much.”
John
Do you miss not being at home, since you are basically a family man with a wife and a child. Do you miss it? (Interview, 1966)
“Of course I miss it, but if I'm home for three months, I miss being out on tour. I need both sides of life to keep me going.” John
So, have you been in touch with the people at home? (Interview, 1964)
“I talk to Cyn almost every night.” John
On these trips that take you away from your family, don't you miss Cynthia and Julian a great deal? (Interview, Bahamas 1965)
“Yeah, I miss them like mad, you know?” John
Where would you like to go that you haven't gone yet? (Press Conference, Chicago 1964)
“Home.” John
What does your wife think about your traveling away all the time? (Press Conference, Jacksonville 1964)
“Well, she don't like it much. But she doesn't mind too much because it makes a lot of money for her.” John
Which one of you is most anxious to get home? (Press Conference, 1964)
“Probably me, I'm married.” John
Are you looking forward to seeing your family again? (Press Conference, Australia 1964)
“I am. Yes, very much.” John
When you go away for any length of time and you return, do you find he’s developed new traits which you weren't aware of before? (Interview, Bahamas 1965)
“Oh well, yeah, they all change all the time at that age, he’s only a little tot, just two years old. Mainly new words he’s learned, you know, which is quite fun. See what he's learned when I get back.” John
John at Luton Airport on July 2, 1964 when The Beatles arrived back in England from Australia where Cynthia greeted him home in between tour dates during the World Tour.
In 1966, it became clear that The Beatles had enough of touring- especially John and George. Paul felt touring was part of a musician thing to do, and he isn't wrong, but he did soon agree to stop. Ringo was neutral. But I think at that point he was tired and wanted to spend time with his growing family, Maureen and their son Zak. While performing, the fan screaming was so loud, they couldn't hear themselves. The only way Ringo knew they were playing a song was by their butts jingle to the beat. I am sure they all played a different song at the same time during a 20 minute set. At first, the screaming was exciting until it wasn't anymore. It got stale, frustrating, they wanted to be heard. Their sound system in those days sucked. It connected to the PA system where sports newscasters would tell the audience who hit or kicked the ball or who's out. These days, the sound system is better than it was. Both Paul and Ringo still tour, well into their 70s- Ringo will be 80 next year (in 2020)! George did tour twice since the Beatles broke up, but I don't think his heart was ever really in it. John never toured again, although before he died, he was thinking of it. I bet Paul will tour until his end- coming off the stage and boom, the end. I think he loves it. He had gaps of not touring, like in the 1980s- I think that was more of Linda's insistence as the children were getting older with school work and friends, settle down for the time being until 1989. Plus, I'm sure Paul getting busted in Japan had something to do with the break. Then after 1993 until 2002, a lot of life happened to Paul from Linda's illness, her death, and his new relationship with Heather Mills… now, for over a decade since his divorce and child custody arrangements, Paul does mini-tours. Anyway, I just realized I am rambling, so let's get back to 1966 with John and Cynthia. Before John left for America, it was already decided that this was it and when John returned, he would be able to be home more, being a proper husband and father. It would be a very tense tour: after John's misunderstood comment on The Beatles being more popular than Jesus Christ, there was tremendous backlash in America. They also got in trouble in the Philippines for allegedly standing up on Imelda Marcos, then First Lady. They were receiving death threats, horrid death predictions, merchandise bonfires, like I said: very tense. John and Cynthia kept in constant communication on that tour as much as possible… any conversation could have been their last. It must have been a relief to have come home safe and alive. In retrospect, the Beatles quitting touring was probably the start of the end of John and Cynthia's marriage…
There are songs John wrote about being away, homesick, and missing his family:
It Won't Be Long 1963
It won't be long yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah)
It won't be long yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah)
It won't be long yeah (yeah), 'til I belong to you
Every night when everybody has fun
Here am I sitting all on my own
It won't be long yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah)
It won't be long yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah)
It won't be long yeah (yeah), 'til I belong to you
Since you left me, I'm so alone
Now you're coming, you're coming on home
I'll be good like I know I should
You're coming home, you're coming home
Every night the tears come down from my eyes
Every day I've done nothing but cry
It won't be long yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah)
It won't be long yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah)
It won't be long yeah (yeah), 'til I belong to you
Since you left me, I'm so alone
Now you're coming, you're coming on home
I'll be good like I know I should
You're coming home, you're coming home
So every day we'll be happy, I know
Now I know that you won't leave me no more
It won't be long yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah)
It won't be long (yeah), yeah (yeah), yeah (yeah)
It won't be long yeah (yeah), 'til I belong to you
I Call Your Name 1963
I call your name but you're not there
Was I to blame for being unfair
Oh, I can't sleep at night
Since you've been gone
I never weep at night
I can't go on
Don't you know I can't take it
I don't know who can
I'm not going to make it
I'm not that kind of man
Oh, I can't sleep at night
But just the same
I never weep at night
I call your name
Don't you know I can't take it
I don't know who can
I'm not going to make it
I'm not that kind of man
Oh, I can't sleep at night
But just the same
I never weep at night
I call your name
I call your name
I call your name
I call your name
A Hard Day's Night 1964
It's been a hard day's night, and I've been working like a dog
It's been a hard day's night, I should be sleeping like a log
But when I get home to you I'll find the things that you do
Will make me feel alright
You know I work all day to get you money to buy you things
And it's worth it just to hear you say you're going to give me everything
So why on earth should I moan, 'cause when I get you alone
You know I feel ok
When I'm home everything seems to be right
When I'm home feeling you holding me tight, tight, yeah
It's been a hard day's night, and I've been working like a dog
It's been a hard day's night, I should be sleeping like a log
But when I get home to you I'll find the things that you do
Will make me feel alright, oww
So why on earth should I moan, 'cause when I get you alone
You know I feel ok
When I'm home everything seems to be right
When I'm home feeling you holding me tight, tight, yeah
Oh, it's been a hard day's night, and I've been working like a dog
It's been a hard day's night, I should be sleeping like a log
But when I get home to you I'll find the things that you do
Will make me feel alright
You know I feel alright
You know I feel alright
I'll Be Back 1964
You know, if you break my heart I'll go
But I'll be back again
'Cause I told you once before, "goodbye"
But I came back again
I love you so, oh
I'm the one who wants you
Yes, I'm the one who wants you
Oh, ho, oh, ho, oh
You could find better things to do
Than to break my heart again
This time I will try to show that I'm
Not trying to pretend
I thought that you would realize
That if I run away from you
That you would want me to
But I got a big surprise
Oh, ho, oh, ho, oh
You could find better things to do
Than to break my heart again
This time I will try to show that I'm
Not trying to pretend
I wanna go
But I hate to leave you
You know I hate to leave
Oh, ho, oh, ho, oh
You, if you break my heart I'll go
But I'll be back again
Anytime At All 1964
Any time at all, any time at all
Any time at all, all you gotta do is call
And I'll be there
If you need somebody to love
Just look into my eyes
I'll be there to make you feel right
If you're feeling sorry and sad
I'd really sympathize
Don't you be sad, just call me tonight
Any time at all, any time at all
Any time at all, all you gotta do is call,
And I'll be there
If the sun has faded away
I'll try to make it shine
There is nothing I won't do
When you need a shoulder to cry on
I hope it will be mine
Call me tonight and I'll come to you
Any time at all, any time at all
Any time at all, all you gotta do is call
And I'll be there
Any time at all, any time at all
Any time at all, all you gotta do is call
And I'll be there
Any time at all, all you gotta do is call
And I'll be there
When I Get Home 1964
Whoa oh ah, whoa oh ah
I got a whole lot of things to tell her
When I get home
Come on, out my way
'Cause I'ma gonna see my baby today
I've got a whole lot of things I've gotta say
To her
Whoa oh ah, whoa oh ah
I got a whole lot of things to tell her
When I get home
Come on, if you please
I've got no time for trivialities
I've got a girl who's waiting home for me
Tonight
Whoa oh ah, whoa oh ah
I got a whole lot of things to tell her
When I get home
When I'm getting home tonight
I'm gonna hold her tight
I'm gonna love her 'til the cows come home
I bet I'll love her more
'Til I walk out that door again
Come on, let me through
I got so many things I gotta do
I got no business being here with you
This way
Whoa oh ah, whoa oh ah
I got a whole lot of things to tell her
When I get home, yeah
I've got a whole lot of things to tell her
When I get home
Wait 1965
It's been a long time
Now I'm coming back home
I've been away now
Oh how I've been alone
Wait till I come back to your side
We'll forget the tears we've cried
But if your heart breaks
Don't wait, turn me away
And if your heart's strong
Hold on, I won't delay
Wait till I come back to your side
We'll forget the tears we've cried
I feel as though
You ought to know
That I've been good
As good as I can be
And if you do
I'll trust in you
And know that you
Will wait for me
It's been a long time
Now I'm coming back home
I've been away now
Oh how I've been alone
Wait till I come back to your side
We'll forget the tears we've cried
I feel as though
You ought to know
That I've been good
As good as I can be
And if you do
I'll trust in you
And know that you
Will wait for me
But if your heart breaks
Don't wait, turn me away
And if your heart's strong
Hold on, I won't delay
Wait till I come back to your side
We'll forget the tears we've cried
It's been a long time
Now I'm coming back home
I've been away now
Oh, how I've been alone
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