Wife vs. World

"It's not very easy for a woman to be associated with The Beatles. I think all the wives did suffer...quietly suffered...but endured."

Cynthia, 2009

A fan photo of Cynthia outside of Kenwood, 1967

Being a Beatles' wife is not an easy position. It may sound easy, but nope. Pretty much all the wives have had criticism; some were hated- especially Yoko Ono, Linda McCartney, and Heather Mills. Both Yoko and Linda were blamed for breaking up The Beatles. Still do! I say that Heather has gotten the worst of it. Comparing then to today, there's the internet and more 'sources' to spread all kinds of rubbish gossip. She has been accused as a gold digger, a prostitute, a liar, a fantasy dreamer (what's wrong with that?), attention seeker, publicity stunter, just about everything you can think of. Unfortunately, Heather has also been made fun of her handicap with only having one leg and use a prosthetic limb after losing her leg from an accident. Honestly, I think that is taken too far to be making fun of the handicap. Other things stacked up against Heather was the relationship with her former step children; she was accused of wedging Paul away from them… nevermind that Heather, Mary, Stella, and James were grown adults living their own lives and creating successful careers of their own. Majority of fans have decided to pretend that Heather doesn't exist, that the marriage was nothing other than suffering, that Paul is only married two times (Linda and Nancy are valid wives), and Beatrice was magically created in the Cabbage Patch garden. I don't hate Heather; I actually don't mind her! She doesn't bother me or anything. Paul is a big boy and all he gotta do is smile for the camera and ding! ding! ding! cha-ching! A million bucks in his account! That divorce dip is basically nothing… easily recovered by album sales, touring, etc. Not to mention by remarrying a wealthy woman in her own right. If Paul had ended up in a shack by the poor side of town, then the perspective of this post would be much different. It's obvious that Heather did no damage to Paul: he still has his career, he still fell in love, he still has a strong relationship with his children, especially their child Beatrice, and he doesn't look at all traumatized by the experience. My take on Paul and Heather is that I do genuinely believe that they did fall in love, they did want to have a successful marriage and partnership, except after almost 10 years it just didn't work out. They are much better to co-exist as parents and friendly acquaintance. The ghost of Linda and the nayslayers were hard to ignore. Then there was the divorce circus. Of course, Heather was made out to be the bad guy while Paul was made out to be the one who could do no wrong. In 1968, lawyers tried to convince Cynthia to take more money from John, but she didn't want to. In 2006-2008, lawyers did the same with Heather… yes, Heather not only took the bait but she also had a merry-go-round of lawyers before ultimately representating herself in court. It was a mess. I feel without the press or fans and 'commentators', the divorce could have been done easier and less drama as it originally was set out, and quicker too rather than being dragged around for two years. At least Heather could never be accused of breaking up a marriage or a band… I do respect Heather highly as a mother. From day one of Beatrice's existence, Paul and Heather have been on the same wavelength on how to raise their child, especially celebrity status. They give their daughter the privacy she deserves to just being a child, teenager, without having a mob of photographers shouting in the face. With the divorce, it was immediately settled that they would share 50/50 custody. Heather not Paul ever denied visitation requests nor kidnapping fights, nor proving the one parent sucks. Not one custody fight. They do put their child's well-being first and foremost.

Linda wasn't really the catalyst of the breakup between Paul and Jane Asher- that prize goes to Francie Schwartz. Linda never met Jane… although Linda wasn't a fan of Jane's either. Why? That's for Linda to answer. Although I suspect it's because Linda got sick of being constant compare to Jane by press and fans, it certainly didn't help much. However, Linda was accused of breaking up The Beatles, which is absurd. Linda was actually a fan of The Beatles. While in the studio, Linda let them be and did her job: photography. After the breakup, Paul formed his own band, Wings, and Linda was a member playing keyboards and backup vocals. You bet that Linda got criticism for that! She became the butt of jokes, got flack for her singing, her playing the piano… Linda did confess that she wasn't a musician, that she wasn't the greatest keyboard player, yet she was on the stage for one reason and one reason only: Linda loved Paul. After her death in 1998, most realized what kind of person Linda was: a dedicated wife and mother, an outspoken supporter for animal rights, and a trailblazer for vegetarism. But don't get me wrong: there are still plenty of fans (especially women) who still hate Linda with a passion, that Jane (or themselves) is still the one for Paul, that still believe that Linda was the weakest link of Paul's music career. Certain fans can sure hold a grudge after 50 years!

Aside from Heather, Yoko also gets the worst treatment as she's been dealing with for over 50 years now. From her race, singing, art, her treatment towards Julian and Cynthia (that will have it's own post), her treatment towards The Beatles, her role in the studio, the list goes on. However, there are fans that accept and love Yoko, saying that since John loved her, takes care of his legacy, and appreciates her. When I was in my teens and early 20s, I was completely anti-Yoko, 100%. Now, these days and nearing 40? Well, I am still not a fan. I can forgive John leaving Cynthia for Yoko as it happens to most but I find it hard to forgive Yoko's treatment towards Julian… I am sure now it's a lot better as Yoko included Julian in the Imagine box set, and I'm glad about that, but it's hard to forget the past. But I did cool down on my rants about her. Ever since I witnessed Sean defending his mother on Twitter, I couldn't help feel sorry for him to deal with that. I can't even imagine on Beatrice reading the internet and social media about her mother. I also have interacted with Sean and Kyoko through social media and found that they are polite and intelligent… so, Yoko must have done something right?

I don't think neither Olivia Harrison, Barbara Bach, nor Nancy Shevell had much problems. Nancy is treated like some savior who saved Paul from his disastrous worth-nothing marriage. Don't get me wrong on this either: Nancy, Olivia, and Barbara do have their fair share of criticism but it's not as exploited as Yoko, Linda, and Heather. I do know that Olivia gets racial slurs, Barbara has gotten 'she's not as nice as you think' illusions, and Nancy gets criticism for her body weight on being too skinny. Nobody is safe from criticism. Not even Cynthia Lennon, Maureen Starkey, and Pattie Boyd (and Jane Asher).

Cynthia, Maureen, and Pattie have gotten their fair share. Both Cynthia and Maureen have had jealous confrontations since The Beatles' early days in the Cavern. They were called names, spat on, hair pulled, taunted… the taunting even went as far to their work place. Both tried to put their heads down, try to blend in with the crowd but that doesn't always work. The only safe time was when their boyfriends were performing and the audience were captivating.

"I might have been killed otherwise. The other girls were not friendly at all. They wanted to stab me in the back. They [The Beatles] were playing at the Locamo once. Just before they finished, Ritchie told me to go outside and sit in the car and wait for him, so no one would see me. I was sitting in the car when this girl came up… she said, 'Are you going out with Ringo?' I said, 'No, oh no, not me. He's just a friend of my brother's.' 'Liar', she said, 'I just saw you talking to him.' I'd forgotten to wind the window up. Before I could do anything, she had her hand through the window and scratched me down my face. She started screaming and shouting some very select language at me. I thought this is it, I'm going to get stabbed. But I just got the window up in time. If I hadn't, she would have opened the door and killed me."

Maureen Starkey, 1967

That's scary stuff. That was on February 14, 1963.

Eventually, Cynthia and Maureen were accepted by fans. When John left Cynthia for Yoko in 1968, the fans took Cynthia's side; when they were busted, a fan shouted out that Cynthia was better than Yoko. Name calling and gifting flowers with thornes. Yoko and John would fall for their fake act.

Pattie had her own fair share of fan disapproval. Mick Fleetwood once wrote that Pattie would get kicked and punched while dating George. Pattie mentioned in her book that she got hate mail on a regular basis. Maureen and Pattie certainly have angry fans for hurting Ringo and George while Maureen had an affair with George and Pattie was seduced by Eric Clapton… nevermind the idea that perhaps Ringo and George broke their wives' hearts.

Even after death, Cynthia had her own criticism after her divorce from John despite support. She's been criticised for living off John's name and fame by keeping her last name Lennon that she decided to keep after deed poll. She had given interviews, wrote books, putting her personal items on auction. It's like no matter what a wife does, she won't ever win someone over.

The Beatles loved their fans, especially John, who credited them for their success. There's been a debate on who was more kind to their fans: John or Paul? Both generous on giving out autographs- John even gave his autograph to his murderer!

"When he came back we moved to London, and that was when I got my first inkling. We had a students' hostel just across the road from our flat, and there always seemed to be girls on the balcony looking at us. And there were always queues of girls and odd bods at our door."

Cynthia, 1976

"Oh, frequently. They would wait outside for them. They had a lot of scuffles. and I had problems as well. I'm being ganged up on by the girls who fancied the guys. So, it was quite rough. But it was a lot of fun. It was strangely dangerous, but very exciting. I learned very quickly [to take care of herself].  I would never do it, but in Liverpool if you give a 'Liverpool Kiss' it's called a head butt. But that didn't happen with me, thank God. I had a very good way of talking my way out of things. Yes [mistaken identity], or I'd get in and out very quickly and smile. Kill with kindness, not with violence."

Cynthia

"The support I had was fantastic. Once the fans knew about me, they decided they would love me, and they still do; they're still pro-me and anti-Yoko. But that doesn't really work for you on a day-to day level. Good vibes don't pay bills."

Cynthia, 1999

"I think I’ve always had a good relationship.  I’ve had plenty of mail – fan mail. I don’t like to say fan mail. But I have lots of contacts and things from the old days. And it’s never really stopped."

Cynthia, 1982

"It's not so bad these days, but it happens. Cyn was attacked not long ago in the street. Some girl kicked her on the legs and said she had to leave John alone, or else. Isn't it amazing, after all the years that John and Cyn have been married?"

Pattie Boyd Harrison, 1968

"It's not so much myself that I mind about, it's Cynthia. She can't even take the boy for a stroll in the carriage- much less shop for the day's groceries. The house is besieged with Beatle fans. And despite the high iron fence, … a couple of them face-to-face with Cynthia when she comes into the kitchen to make tea. They shriek upon seeing her and the boy almost as wildly as they do when they see us on stage or some place, I say, it's not only made Cynthia a bundle of nerves, it's telling on my son, too. He's as jumpy as a cat. I realize we owe our fans everything, but must we give up our peace of mind, too?"

John, 1964

"I don't think his marriage will affect The Beatles' popularity really, but there might be some shuffling of fans from one of the Beatles to another, at least that's what happened when news that I was married was revealed."

John, 1965

"I don't think the two of us being married has had any bad effects on our popularity. Remember, when it got out that both Ringo and I were married, there hadn't been anybody in such a position as we were in, who had got married. It was Silver Disc as opposed to Gold Disc people who'd got married before us! People who relied on wiggling, we still don't, and we won't. We were never dependent on fans being in love with us so much as others are. Not [Mick] Jagger. Now he can't afford to get married. The Stones would be all over."

John, 1965

"I was married from before The Beatles left Liverpool, that never made any difference. Cyn didn't have a career like Yoko does, but Pattie had a career- that never upset it. Maureen is a fantastic artist in her own right as well, apart from bringing up that tribe of Ringo's, she also is an artist, and it is nothing to do with the wives."

John, 1971

Do you think this is just a cover for the admiration, to get close, it's just an excuse, or do you think a lot of people really feel this way? (Interview, 1964)

"I think that with my wife- I hate saying that word, it sounds sort of formal- with Cyn, it starts off sort of 'well, he's hooked, we'll sort of like them both, we'll like his wife', but a lot of them are very genuine, yeah, you can see through letters. You know, the letters you get where they're addressed to Cyn that say, 'I like you,' you know, this and that, or, I don't know, they say all sorts of things, are genuine. A lot of them are genuine. Some of them are fake. You can read through them a mile, or sort of, 'hello Mrs. Lennon, may I call you Cyn? Could you get me 95 autographed photographs of the boys?' then you know they're just, you know, just in it." John

How about the French girls compared to the British girls? (Press Conference, 1964)

"Yeah, well, I'm married so I didn't notice them." John

Mr. Lennon, what do you think Mrs. Lennon thinks of The Beatles? (Press Conference, 1964)

"She rather likes them." John

(Inaudible question about whether Cynthia was jealous of the female fans)

"No, because I don't have a go at them." John

John, how does your wife like all these girls making all this fuss over you? (Press Conference, 1964)

"She loves it." John

Because John is married, does he find that fans react a different way? (Press Conference, 1964)

"I don't. No. I might have less because I'm married but the ones I have got react the same." John

John, how does your wife feel about girls screaming and running after you? (Press Conference, 1964)

"She knows they never catch me." John