We all know what Julian was up to in the years of 1971 (okay, technically since 1964 when it was revealed John was married with a kid) to present day. If you don't know, you can read Cynthia's book, JOHN, or read this blog as I've written about it already. But, what was Kyoko up to? The other part of the story of why John was more focused on helping Yoko look for Kyoko and essentially abandoned his son in the process. Julian is mentioned very briefly on this subject. I am going to dig deep into this story. Also, some important few notes:
1) I originally did this story more for my Children of the Beatles Facebook/Instagram.
2) Kyoko and Sean are aware of the project. Kyoko even donated some photographs she wanted instead of the actual pictures (like the custody battle) as it would be too painful. The description would've been bad enough so happier memories of photos were chosen instead.
3) For this post, not only everything got combined together from the divided sections of Children of the Beatles, but I also added additional information into what you are about to read. I wouldn't call the Facebook/Instagram "condensed" versions, but edited down for limited space. Here, I have unlimited space!
Here's the story:
Tony Cox was a fan of Yoko Ono's and went to Japan to meet up with her... He found her in a mental hospital during her divorce from Toshi Ichiyangi in 1962. Tony got her out and they soon became lovers and collaborated. Yoko got pregnant and she and Tony got married, but.... it wasn't valid as her divorce from Toshi wasn't yet finalized. When it did, Tony and Yoko officially married on June 6, 1963. On August 3rd, Tony and Yoko welcomed Kyoko Ono Cox into the world in Tokyo. A year later, in 1964, Yoko (who left first), Tony, and Kyoko moved to New York City.
“At age twenty-nine, I was not ready. Back in the Fifties, abortions had seemed like the practical and necessary thing to do, but when I was pregnant with Kyoko, Tony and the doctors frightened me into thinking that I could not safely have another abortion. At the time I decided to have Kyoko, I thought, ‘Maybe if l have a child, I’ll feel differently,’ because society’s myth is that all women are supposed to love having children. But that was a myth. So there was Kyoko, and I did become attached to her and had great love for her, but at the same time, I was still struggling to get my own space in the world. I felt that if l didn’t have room for myself, how could I give room to another human being?”
Yoko, 1981
"I had miscarriages before my daughter and after. I've never had an abortion. I think it was written that I had. My daughter was such a beautiful baby. I fell in love with her the minute she was here. Emotionally we are close, at least now we are."
Yoko, 2013
“I would like her to become an international person. The best world is world of no passports, no visas. I don’t hope to bring her up as a fanatic nationalist, if that’s what you mean.”
Yoko, 1972
Yoko, Kyoko, and Tony in Tokyo, 1964
From Kyoko's personal collection
Tony and Yoko had an open marriage - their daughter Kyoko was used to seeing them with other lovers. They moved to London in 1965 (once again, Yoko left first); the following year, Yoko met John Lennon. By the Summer of 1968, while Tony and Kyoko were in France, John and Yoko became inseparable lovers. Tony and Yoko got divorced on February 2, 1969 in the Virgin Islands. Everything was settled amicable except for one thing: custody of Kyoko. Originally, Yoko was to have custody with Tony having visitation rights. However, Tony was Kyoko's hands-on doting parent since birth. He soon grew concerned about John and Yoko's hectic lifestyle in the spotlight whenever she was with them. After John's car accident in Scotland in July of 1969 with Yoko, Kyoko (receiving 4 stitches), and Julian in the car, Tony freaked out and insisted that from then on he would accompany Kyoko whenever she visited Yoko. By the Summer of 1970, John grew unhappy with Tony's control over Kyoko and his pressure treatment on Yoko that when Tony invited them to Kyoko's birthday party in August John refused to go and forbade Yoko to go. She was devastated in knowing that Kyoko was watching the door waiting for her mother to arrive. Whenever Tony tried to contact Yoko, he would be blocked by the assistants. As the months wore on, Tony got paranoid over John's fame and money, fearing the thought of losing Kyoko. In April of 1971, Tony, his wife Melinda, and Kyoko abruptly left England for Spain.
Yoko, John, Kyoko, Tony, and Melinda in Ellidsbølvej, Denmark on January 6, 1970
"We shared custody because that has been the hippy thing- sharing. Tony thought John had been an easy touch, but John could be tough over money. Once the custody thing was settled, he refused to pay Tony's legal expenses."
Yoko
"It was very painful losing my mom, but I loved my dad too."
Kyoko, 2003
“I told myself that at least he loves her. Maybe she was OK with him. I was going through so much prejudice I questioned everything.”
Yoko, 2012
“I was not getting a fair shake at all.”
Tony Cox, 1986
"John and I got together and I separated from my ex-husband. He took Kyoko away. It became a case of parent kidnapping and we tried to get her back."
Yoko, 1980
"John was always nice to me, this consuming force. He wanted all of my mom, and there wasn't a lot of her left for me. My dad had a lot of problems, but I was his only kid."
Kyoko, 2003
"Yoko wanted access to Kyoko and we weren't against that - but we would find so much havoc introduced into our lives, we would have to withdrawal any contact with them was like touching a high voltage machine."
Tony Cox, 1981
"It was a kidnapping and it was terrible. It was different for her, she was okay and she didn't understand what was happening. She didn't suffer so much at the time, although later it was difficult for her to cope."
Yoko, 2013
"He took Kyoko from me, that is, kidnapped. And we began to strive for him to return her to us."
Yoko, 1980
John and Yoko in Mallorca, Spain to find Kyoko and fighting a custody battle in court, April of 1971
In April of 1971, as soon as John and Yoko discovered Tony and Kyoko left England without their knowledge, a court custody battle started. They learned that Tony and Kyoko were in Spain; Tony was at Cala Murada with the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi while Kyoko was at a daycare nursery. On April 22nd, John and Yoko found Kyoko and took her to their hotel room for 2 hours until the police came to arrest them for abduction after Tony found out. While being questioned by the police and in court, Yoko said she had custody but the Judge sided with Tony after asking Kyoko which parent she wanted to be with. Lawyers advised Yoko to file custody at the Virgin Islands where her divorce was situated. Meanwhile, Tony, his wife Melinda, and Kyoko left for Houston, Texas. John and Yoko went to the Virgin Islands to file for custody and then to New York to find Kyoko. On July 24th, the Judge granted custody to Yoko with Tony receiving reasonable visitation - except John and Yoko didn't know where Kyoko was. On advise of their lawyers, John and Yoko moved to New York permanently as Kyoko is a U.S. citizen to raise her and continued to try to find Tony. In December, they traveled to Houston after finding out where Kyoko was. Tony refused Yoko to see Kyoko and she reported him to the authorities (Kyoko was with Melinda's family). On December 22nd, the Judge held Tony in jail for 5 days in contempt of court. Kyoko watched her father being transported to jail on television and was very scared; it was getting close to Christmas. During proceedings, Yoko was horrified to discover that Kyoko was 3 years behind school due to the constant travel and hiding. The last time Yoko and Kyoko saw each other, Kyoko still couldn't read at 8 years old to which Yoko was very upset about it. Once Tony was released on December 24th, he, Melinda, and Kyoko fled elsewhere, jumping bail. Yoko never gave up: she hired private investigators and put out ads. After hearing about a car chase done by the investigation after Tony, Yoko was concerned for Kyoko's safety and called off the search. Whenever John and Yoko watched television and a child would appear, Yoko would get so upset John had to quickly change the channel. Every night since for a few years precisely at 5 AM, Yoko would have nightmares screaming for Kyoko.
Tony with Kyoko on his back leaving court in Mallorca, Spain in April of 1971
Yoko and John leaving court in Mallorca, Spain in April of 1971
"She is totally frightened. There was a time in Spain when a lawyer and John thought that we should kidnap her. And we did kidnap her and went to court. The court did a very sensible thing... the judge took her into a room and asked her which one of us she wanted to go with. Of course, she said Tony. We had scared her to death. So now she must be afraid that if she comes to see me, she'll never see her father again. I probably would have lost Kyoko even if it wasn't for John. If I had separated from Tony, there would have been some difficulty."
Yoko, 1980
"It was like someone had cut my arm off without anaesthetic. She was my daughter and she was such a charming attractive little thing, only five years old, and so sweet and vulnerable. Our lawyer said we could do it, but it was totally bonkers. We flew to Majorca and John and I drove to her nursery and took her. We had an hour or two with her before we were caught. It was very difficult.”
Yoko, 2003
"She's 10 now and when I saw her last she was 5. I don't even know how she looks now. It's like 5 years is a long time."
Yoko, 1973
"It was a classic case of men being macho. It turned into me and Allen Klein trying to dominate Tony Cox. Tony's attitude was, 'You got my wife, but you won't get my child.' In this battle, Yoko and the child were absolutely forgotten. I've always felt bad about it. It became a case of the shoot-out at the O.K. Corral: Cox fled to the hills and hid out and the sheriff and I tracked him down. First we won custody in court. Yoko didn't want to go to court, but the men, Klein and I, did it anyway."
John, 1980
"Allen called up one day, saying I won the court case. He gave me a piece of paper. I said, 'What is this piece of paper? Is this what I won? I don't have my child.' I knew that taking them to court would frighten them and, of course, it did frighten them. So Tony vanished. He was very strong, thinking that the capitalists, with their money and lawyers and detectives, were pursuing him. It made him stronger."
Yoko, 1980
"We chased him all over the world. God knows where he went. So if you're reading this, Tony, let's grow up about it. It's gone. We don't want to chase you anymore, because we've done enough damage."
John, 1980
"I'm living with a woman screaming for her child every night. We've got so desperate we've been putting messages on our records."
John, 1972
"We also had private detectives chasing Kyoko, which I thought was a bad trip, too. One guy came to report, 'It was great! We almost had them. We were just behind them in a car, but they sped up and got away.' I went hysterical. 'What do you mean you almost got them? We are talking about my child!'"
Yoko, 1980
"It was like we were after an escaped convict. Yoko got steamed into a guilt thing that if she wasn't attacking them with detectives and police and the FBI, then she wasn't a good mother looking for her baby. She kept saying, 'Leave them alone, leave them alone,' but they said you can't do that."
John, 1980
“They just disappeared, I finally gave up when the detective working for us called me and told me: ‘We were chasing them, it was like a movie car chase, and they were so scared, the car went up the bank at the side of the road.’ I said: ‘You do realise that my daughter was in that car?’ It was very difficult for me. Those years were very painful."
Yoko, 2003
"I can't keep in touch with her. I looked for her and I don't know where she is. Well, what do you think? I tried to find her. What do you think I am? It's not something to ask a mother. Of course it's sad."
Yoko, 1990
“We’re wary of asking for public help. There are a lot of cranks, and we don’t want to put her in a precarious position. We get a lot of crank calls as it is, and, of course, we have to follow them all up. It’s not a federal case, so we can’t call in the F.B.I. People think we’re not doing anything about Kyoko because they read about us doing other things, but rest assured that ninety per cent of our time and energy is spent looking for her.”
John, 1972
“There are many, from recording talent discovered here, to Yoko’s own art work, to a few universities that want us to go and lecture on music and art and things generally. Our most important activity is looking for Kyoko. That’s what we’re really doing, and that’s what we have planned until we find her.”
John, 1972
“I don’t know if there’s any mercy to plead for, because we are not in a federal court, but if there is any, I’d like it, please, for both of us and our child. All we ask is that whatever be done be done quietly, without fanfare. We’re frightened of her becoming a famous child.”
John, 1972
“I was afraid that if I made this incident public it would affect my child later, and hurt her. I only did it after looking for her for two years. I still feel if I had any choice about it I would never have done anything to make it public. It’s going to hurt her later to know her parents had fought over her in court. I think my ex-husband took my daughter away because she was developing a close relationship with my husband, John Lennon. Without my husband’s support and efforts to console me, I could not carry on. We have followed all the leads. We have hired private detectives. But as soon as we arrived someplace, because we are famous everybody would know we were there and my ex-husband would go away again. The ironical thing is that the position we are in, which is considered to be a powerful position, is working against us.”
Yoko, 1972
Yoko looking at a picture of Kyoko in New York, 1972
“I certainly would not send someone to sneak her away. I would ask someone both Tony and I respect—Dick Gregory, perhaps—to go and talk with him and try to work out a better situation. I know that Tony is very close to her, and I’m not about to try to cut that relationship off.”
Yoko, 1972
“I don’t have any bitterness toward Yoko. We both made terrible mistakes. Although they nearly destroyed me, at the same time she really had tremendous remorse, and when I found that out later, that changed my whole attitude. I really felt sorry for her. Regardless of how much I suffered, she was suffering also, and I’m genuinely aware of that.”
Tony Cox, 1986
"See, we're really frightened now, because some people feel that we have to leave this country. And that puts us in a position, especially for me, that I have to choose between my husband and my child. First of all, because, well, I have a child who's 8 years old and she's an American citizen, and we're looking for her. We can't find her."
Yoko, 1972
"See, her former husband is American and so therefore her daughter is. And Yoko never took out American citizenship, because she never needed it. She was here half her life, she was educated here, and then she married an American. And it never came up to change citizenship. It was just always easy to come and go. She never thought of it. So when the divorce came and there was no arrangement made for the child, because at that time we were more amicable, the two ex parties, but you know how things get, and they got worse and worse until it came that we couldn't see Kyoko anymore. The child's called Kyoko. And we've been chasing her in Europe, in Denmark, in Spain, in Hawaii, in America, back to Europe, back to - this has been going on for two or three years. And finally we thought, Oh, let's go to court in the place where the divorce was. That was in the US Virgin Islands. So we went there, and we only just got in, and they told us, 'You can have just enough time to go for the court case.' And that was going be one day. And we said, 'That's fine.' ...-... But as it happens, we finished the court case quickly, we got custody, we went up to New York for a little sort of social business because our firm is up there, Apple, and then we went back to England... Finally we got custody, but during that, her ex-husband, Tony Cox, opened a court case in Texas, where his parents-in-law are, and he set up an establishment there for the first time in two years, set up a residence, and was carrying on all the family life down there. And he chose Texas as then a forum to fight our case in the Virgin Islands. So then we had another case going that was in Texas, so obviously we had to keep coming and going. And immigration was getting upset with us and saying, 'Well, tell us when it's gonna be.' We said, 'We can't tell you; it's up to the judge when it happens. We have no control.' So finally, as we start winning the case in Texas, Mr. Cox runs away with Kyoko again. So it's easy for somebody to go in court and accuse people like us in public of terrible things. And by the time we've waded through it all and said, 'No, we haven't done a damn thing, actually, all we're trying to do is talk to her.' She hasn't spoken to her Fra year. By the time the judge has seen through all the games, the man's run away again. They give us custody again, and this temporary custody, only if we bring the child up in America."
John, 1972
"So it's easy for somebody to go in court and accuse people like us in public of terrible things. And by the time we've waded through it all and said, 'No, we haven't done a damn thing, actually all we're trying to do is talk to her.' She hasn't spoken to her for a year. By the time the judge has seen through all the games, the man's run away again. They give us custody again, and this is temporary custody, only if we bring the child up in America."
John, 1972
"Cause she's an American citizen, and the judge felt she should be brought up here. And we don't mind. We'd like to be here and bring her up. So a) we have the two papers with custody, but we don't know where she is still. We haven't a clue where she is; she's in America somewhere. So we've no idea. We can't tell immigration or anybody when it'll be all over or when we'll know what's gonna happen. And they began to intimate to us that we were using that as an excuse to go on The Mike Douglas Show, The Dick Cavett Show, and things like that. But all it is, we're not just gonna sit in a box while we're in between court cases. We have to live our life, and to work is the only way we can keep our minds off it. 'Cause it's killing her. It's two years since she's seen her and one year since she's spoken to her on the phone, and immigration's policy has always been not to split a family. So they're saying that seeing as Mr. Lennon is not eligible because I was busted in England in 1968 - planted by the way, but bust. I pleaded guilty on lawyer's advice. She was three months pregnant and all that. It was a real drag, but I did it, and I paid my hundred-dollar fine or whatever it was. And then they say because I'm not eligible, 'Rather than split a family, although there's nothing against Yoko Ono, you'd both better get out.' And I'm saying, 'Well, if you don't want to split a family, let us stay here, because our daughter's here.' She has to choose between me and the daughter. And a) she doesn't know where the daughter is -- we don't have a clue. We just know she's in America somewhere."
John, 1972
"See, even if she's not in America-I really don't know where she is- but the thing is, from a mutual friend we've heard that my ex-husband is saying that all they have to do is hide and wait until we're kicked out. And of course that's the cleverest way. And then this will be a haven for them, because they don't have to worry about us coming in."
Yoko, 1972
"Yoko always said in all the transcripts of the court cases, too, we don't want to take the child away from Tony. He's paranoid about it. He thinks we're big, powerful people that are going to do something to him, and we're not. We're saying, now if you're watching, there's nothing John and Yoko could do to Kyoko. We couldn't hide her anywhere like you because we're too famous; there's nowhere we can go. And Yoko always said in court and out of court, she thinks the child should have both parents, be able to see both parents. And we don't care what kind of arrangement he wants to make, just so the child does have the benefit of both parents."
John, 1972
"Well, John has to switch the TV to another channel whenever I see a child because I just can't stand seeing a child, you know."
Yoko, 1972
"There's no way out. And it comes out every night in nightmares, it really does. If we work all day to not think about it, it has to come out somewhere, and it comes out every night about five o'clock."
John, 1972
"That's our house [Tittenhurst Park], yeah. I just wish to mention that my son visits me every weekend at that house, which is a beautiful home in Ascot with 80 acres of ground. York's daughter is not allowed to visit us because her ex husband won't let her see her own daughter. All Yoko wishes is that now and again Kyoko could be brought to that house to spend some time with her mother and with my son, Julian, because it's a beautiful home, and we have 8 or 10 children living there that belong to the staff. And we're not allowed to see our daughter, and Yoko's going mad as any mother would because her daughter's being withheld from her. That's all we have to say about that. But that's the house waiting for her, if you're watching, Kyoko."
John, 1971
“Kyoko has had enough traumatic experiences without the police coming to grab her father. Remember, I once before pushed this to the point where Tony went to jail. I feel guilty about that now, because it didn’t help, and it upset Kyoko very much. And please remember, in the story of Solomon it was the real mother who gave up her child rather than let it be cut in half.”
Yoko, 1972
Kyoko and Tony biking around The Netherlands, 1979
From Kyoko's personal collection
After leaving Houston and jumping bail during Christmas of 1971, Kyoko accompanied her father Tony with his wife Melinda to Los Angeles where they soon joined the Church of the Living Word (known as the Walk). Tony was scared that if there was any contact with Yoko, he'd be arrested in kidnapping, a federal charge; the "church" promised to hide them and keep Tony out of jail. The church turned out to be a cult, and when the leader tells them what to do (including get married or divorce) the members will do. The leader would have women move into communes to have sex with them and the members would give him their life savings and sell their homes to give him money. Nobody was allowed to be friends with anybody whose not involved with the cult and were cut off from family. There were farms and businesses that the members would work on low wages; Tony, Melinda, and Kyoko would work on the farm doing weeds and operating tractors. Sometimes Kyoko helped at the sawmill with other children. Her main job was cleaning the house, cooking meals, and doing the dishes. The cult moved around a lot in the U. S., Kyoko went through several schools and 9 name changes. In 1977, now divorced from Melinda, Tony and Kyoko were in Hollywood where she was attending Walter Reed Junior High School when he decided to leave The Walk; he picked up Kyoko from school with only what they had on person to Oregon as Tony feared The Walk would take her away. Melinda remained in the cult and warned Kyoko that Tony may be a bad man, father, and husband but he didn't deserve to go to jail. Tony found work as a house painter and they rented a small one bedroom house where Kyoko slept in the bedroom and Tony on the couch. Although Kyoko missed Yoko and wanted to get in touch, several people (including Tony) told her he would go to jail if she did contact Yoko. Kyoko knew her mother was happy with John and Sean and she was happy for Yoko. Kyoko was seeing a psychologist at the time after leaving the cult (and realizing how bad the cult was) and wanted to be a psychologist herself at the time.
“I asked her what she wanted to be and she said, ‘A psychologist.' When she comes out, I will tell her straight the kind of life I had and what happened. Despite the fact that I wasn’t tying her shoelaces during the years we were together, we had a buddy-buddy relationship and I’m sure she missed me as a mother.”
Yoko, 1981
"She's 26 now, going on 27. I haven't seen her for about 20 years. It's a typical case of a man who's in love with a child, who doesn't want to share her with a new man. But from what I know, he did a very good job raising her. I spoke with her in 1977 on the phone, and she sounded very sweet and intelligent. My ex-husband and she were planning to come see us and spend Christmas in 1977, but they didn't show. She, of course, must be very grateful to him, and she might feel guilty about getting in touch with me. A lot of children have that same problem. It's a guilt trip. Well, it's not enough to blame the mother, now you're blaming her?"
Yoko, 1990
"For me, it was like they just disappeared from my life. Part of me left with them."
Yoko, 1980
"When she gets to be in her 20's, she'll understand that we were idiots and we know we were idiots. She might give us a chance."
John, 1980
“We left with the clothes on our backs. I was afraid even to return home before getting out of town in my old car. I’m an unusual case, I’m what is termed a ‘walkaway.’ I got up and walked out on my own volition. I was there for five years, and experts in the field say that after five years there’s very little chance someone’s going to get out on their own.”
Tony Cox, 1986
Kyoko and Tony in Wheaton, Illinois, where she was attending college in 1985
From Kyoko's personal collection
Tony and Kyoko temporary moved to Switzerland after Tony received an invitation to go there by an Evangelical preacher, Francis Schaeffer, supplying the travel tickets. They stayed in Switzerland for three months and traveled around Europe for a couple of years. They mostly spent their time in The Netherlands where the television only had two channels. In 1979, Tony decided to make a documentary about the cult with financial backing from the Netherlands television station. He wanted the law enforcement to understand why they were gone for a long time. At the time, Kyoko was attending Dutch Montessori Lyceum and would have to drop out as Tony also wanted her to work on the film with him. He would pay her as his only employee and Kyoko really wanted to go to college. Over the years, she taught herself to read after missing a lot of school. Kyoko agreed as long as the documentary didn't involved John Lennon and Yoko Ono and she could use the money to attend college. They returned to the United States from Europe to work on the documentary when Tony and Kyoko heard John was murdered in 1980. They were shocked by the awful news and sent Yoko a telegram with their condolences. For a brief moment, Tony and Kyoko considered to reach out to Yoko but Kyoko thought it would be a very bad time for Tony to reenter her life. Kyoko realized how messed up Tony was and didn't want him to involve her mother and go to jail. In 1986, Tony surfaced to the public eye to release his short documentary film, Vain Glory, about his experience with The Walk with Kyoko listed as associate producer. Tony told the press that if Kyoko wanted to reunite with Yoko, it would be her decision. Yoko responded by publishing an open letter to Kyoko:
Dear Kyoko, All these years there has not been one day I have not missed you. You are always in my heart. However, I will not make any attempt to find you now as I wish to respect your privacy. I wish you all the best in the world. If you ever wish to get in touch with me, know that I love you deeply and would be very happy to hear from you. But you should not feel guilty if you choose not to reach me. You have my respect, love and support forever. Love, Mommy
During this time, Kyoko was attending college in Indiana; it was very religious. She had to sign a pledge not to smoke, drink, dance, or play cards on Sundays. She read the Bible and classic English literature, like Shakespeare and Chaucer. However, whenever Kyoko told Tony she wanted to get back in touch with Yoko, Tony repeatedly told her that it would ruin him. He hired a lawyer in Houston to see if there was still an arrest warrant - there was with Yoko renewing it every year. Kyoko didn't know how to get in touch with Yoko without having her dad be arrested. In the meantime, she managed to go to college and received both Bachelor of Arts and Master of Arts. By the time Kyoko got married to Jim Helfrich, he's a lawyer and informed Kyoko she didn't need to worry about an arrest warrant on her father as it was a pro forma step taken to retain the help of the police to find a missing child; custody battles don't end up in serious jail time.
"Mom says now that she wouldn't have put him in jail, but as a child, I didn't know what was going to happen. I was protective."
Kyoko, 2003
“Because of our life-style, she was taught with tutors, studied in foreign schools and has a conception of the world that’s very mature for someone her age. She’s in great shape, really together. She came out of the experience smelling like a rose.”
Tony Cox, 1986
“She really has her own life. I can’t emphasize that enough.”
Tony Cox, 1986
Sean, Yoko, and Kyoko during the first week mother and daughter reunited after 23 years apart, July of 1994
From Kyoko's personal collection
After Tony and Kyoko Cox left the Church of the Living Word in California and moved up to Oregon with little cash, Tony called John on November 10, 1977 and Kyoko got to talk to Yoko on the phone. There was a promise of a Christmas visit (with Yoko happily offering to pay travel fare), but it didn't happen. Tony still feared going to jail and Kyoko was embarrassed to see Yoko and John in their poor state. She also didn't trust her parents to stay calm with one another. It wasn't until 1994 when Yoko heard from her daughter. While working as a teacher at Arrowhead Elementary School in Denver, Colorado, Kyoko had gotten married to Jim Helfrich and they planned to have a family. James Scott Helfrich was born to John and Mrs. Helfrich in New York on April 26, 1962. Jim studied to become a lawyer in many colleges and moved to Colorado for litigation and finances since 1990. Kyoko was already settled in Denver since 1986 as a writer for a non-profit organization before becoming a teacher. They married on August 1, 1992. Jim eased Kyoko's worry about her father's arrest warrant and encouraged her to get in touch with Yoko so their children would know about their grandmother. Kyoko called Yoko's office at The Dakota in New York City. Yoko noticed an excitement in her staff and took the call. She invited Kyoko and Jim to New York and they reunited at the airport after 23 years since seeing each other during the first week of July in 1994.
“It was very hard. I remembered her as a little girl and I kept buying her small beautiful cashmere sweaters. They piled up in my dressing room until someone said to me, ‘Do you realize she’s now 26, she’s probably larger than you, why are you keeping those little things?’ It was terrible. I didn’t know where she was. It was a kidnapping and a very difficult situation. She had so much love for her father who took care of her all that time, and he had said very clearly that if she searched me out she would never see him again. She got married and before they were going to have a child the husband said — he’s a very intelligent guy — you have to say hello to your mother before you have the baby because the baby is going to wonder where the grandmother is. So she came.”
Yoko, 2012
"I didn't feel it right for me to become a mother without at least letting my mother know that I'm alive and well."
Kyoko, 2001
"Everything is good again now Kyoko is back. It was such a long time, but when I heard her voice, I knew it was her."
Yoko, 1999
"They'd pretend to be Kyoko, then turn out to be blonde and blue eyed."
Yoko, 1999
"I didn't know what it was going to be like. I was very nervous. But she's very intelligent and sensitive woman, I'm really very proud of her. We are friends now."
Yoko, 2013
“It was nerve-racking, because it had been such a long time. My daughter and I are very close, but she is still in contact with her father. I don’t ask about it. I’m not angry. I would not have survived this long if I was an angry person,”
Yoko, 2003
“She’s a completely independent individual. After seeing what some of the aspects of public life are about, she realized that was one thing she did not want.”
Tony Cox, 1986
“It was so hard. It was more than 20 years that we spent apart. She phoned my office downstairs. I saw the office people, very pale, scurrying around, and I asked, ‘What’s going on?’ They said, ‘We’ve had a call from your daughter. And we think it really is your daughter.’ I thought, ‘Oh my God…’ That first meeting I was so nervous, so nervous. I was at the airport in New York waiting for her to come out. You know, she and Jim are very sensible people. They had planned to have children — they are that sort of people — and he said to her, ‘Before we have a child, you have to go to your mother.’ What a sensible idea.”
Yoko, 2013
Sean and Kyoko in December of 2021
From Kyoko's personal collection
Kyoko always wanted a baby brother. Although news was scarce in the cult, somehow Tony and Melinda heard about John and Yoko having Sean in October of 1975. Kyoko was thrilled! She was happy for John and Yoko. There was also a relief for Tony and Melinda that now Yoko would focus more on Sean than look for Kyoko. Some time after, Kyoko had a vivid dream that Sean told her their mother did love her. After getting out of the cult and speaking to her mother on the phone, Yoko put an excited Sean on the phone - although he didn't say much (Sean was 2 years old). Kyoko and Sean loved each other without knowing each other well over the years they were apart. Kyoko was frequently isolated with the celebrity news - the only celebrity source of the day was People magazine and the two tv channels in the Netherlands didn't have any celebrity news content so she couldn't really kept up what her mother and brother were publicly doing or going. Meanwhile, Sean always wanted Kyoko to come back to Yoko as he knew she was sad without her daughter around. The dream came true in July of 1994 when Kyoko reached out and visited; Kyoko was 30 and Sean was 18 when they finally met. Sean welcomed his sister warmly with love and excitement. Although they are different (Kyoko a conservative Christian and Sean a cutting edge intellectual), they understood each other immediately and are very close. When Kyoko welcomed her first child, a daughter Emily Ono Helfrich, on September 4, 1997, Sean was one of the first people to hold his niece. Kyoko also had a son, John David Yeisuke Helfrich, on January 9, 2000, whom Sean taught his nephew music. Jack plays in a band called Uni and the Urchins with Sean's girlfriend Charlotte Kemp Muhl and his own bands, Failure Egg and Ghost Pony, and other collaborations. Sean attended Emi's college graduation from New York University in 2019. Emi is interested in film making after studying visual arts and special effects. Jim and Kyoko would eventually divorce, yet they remain amicable and co-parenting their children.
"It was so terrible. I kept imagining I was talking to her, but I couldn't speak to her. I didn't know where she was. And for a long time, it affected my attitude to having another child."
Yoko, 2008
“DNA is a strange thing, Kyoko and Sean’s handwriting is so similar it’s impossible to tell the difference. People say Kyoko looks like me and Sean looks like John.”
Yoko, 2012
"Eventually I decided that, okay, I was given a beautiful son, Sean, so I should not think about her any more. And I created a new life. It was a surprising thing, but it was to do with Sean, too. I wanted to be a good mother to him and it was unfair to be thinking about the past, comparing him to my other child.”
Yoko, 2003
"Sean likes the fact that because he was the only child- he was always saying, 'I'm the only child, I mean, I don't have anybody around me,' or something so it was good that he got together with Julian, and also, by the way, he got together with Kyoko too."
Yoko
Emi, Yoko, Jack, Kyoko and Sean at The Dakota celebrating Yoko's 85th birthday on February 18, 2018 in New York City.
Photographed by Bob Gruen
After retiring as a teacher, Kyoko followed her mother and Aunt Setsuko's footsteps into the art world. She studied ceramics and photography (Kyoko was given her first Polaroid camera by Yoko when she was 6) in her hometown Denver and in New York City. Kyoko started having exhibitions of her own - usually grouped with other artists - around the United States: Rhode Island, Oregon, California, Colorado, and counting. In 2015, Yoko invited Kyoko to have an exhibition of her ceramics at City Museum of Reykjavik on Videy Island, Iceland while there to light up the Imagine Peace Tower called 11 Spheres of Iceland. In May of 2022, Kyoko curated an exhibition called Guilty at the Emmanuel Art Gallery in Denver with artwork submitted by University of Colorado. You can check out her portfolio on KQ6 and @kqsix on Instagram.
As of this writing, Kyoko and Julian have not yet reconnected during the past 30 years. Both are extremely close to Sean. However, never say never! There's always a chance and I pray for it.
No comments:
Post a Comment