Leaving For Weybridge

In July of 1964, John and Cynthia left their London apartment for the final time to go to their new home in Weybridge. Paul McCartney accompanied them. I don't know about Julian, but I believe he was in the care of his grandmother Lillian at the new house.

While on the Plane

Photos 2 and 3 were photographed by Harry Benson 

First to Hear

Paul McCartney, Cynthia, and John in India, 1968

Photographed by George Harrison

Being married to a musician, especially turned out legendary, has some perks. Can you imagine witnessing John and Paul writing a future classic that would be heard on the radio for over 50 years? Very few handful of people can raise their hands. There was no pattern to write- John and Paul wrote when inspiration struck… and if paper of whatever kind (John wrote A Hard Day's Night on the back of Julian's birthday card) available. They could be anywhere: plane, home, backstage, in studio, doesn't matter. Cynthia witnessed the songwriting partnership of Lennon & McCartney early on until she and John broke up. Especially after they married and were soon living with Aunt Mimi; Mimi had previously banned John from playing guitar in her house and he could only play on the porch. He would call Cynthia over to listen. When they moved into their mansion in Weybridge, John converted one of the attic rooms into a home recording studio. There he would call down to Cynthia to come up and have a listen. If she didn't come as soon as he wanted, John would impatiently call for her again. There had been a number of times when Cynthia would hang out with John in his music room to keep him company and listen to his craft; if John was stuck, she would try to help. While sleeping, Cynthia got used to John getting up at a certain time to jot down a lyric. According to Ray Coleman's biography Lennon, Cynthia felt 1965 was John's finest year of songwriting. In Hunter Davies's The Beatles book, he observed the songwriting team at work: in March of 1967, John and Paul got together at Paul's house to work on With a Little Help From My Friends around 2 PM in the afternoon. Three hours later, at 5 PM, Cynthia and friend Terry Doran arrived. Cynthia kept busy by reading a book she found in Paul's workroom. John and Paul kept working, trying to work out lyrics; Cynthia suggested a line ('I just feel fine') but John said no: the word JUST should never be used as it's meaningless and a fill in. At some point, Paul and John got goofy while Cynthia (and Terry) kept on reading. Around 7 PM, John and Paul needed to go to EMI studio (Abbey Road Studio) to continue to work on Ringo's song. 

"It was par for the course for John to write, draw, whatever, when the muse took him. So, yes, in the middle of the night, in the bath, plane, car, he was a vociferous writer and yes, I was there as a captive audience, because it was a joy to behold."

Cynthia, 1999

"We would normally play it to Cynthia or whoever was around" 

Paul McCartney

"I turned up at John's house for a writing session and saw the opportunity to add a descant [melody in the second verse]. We finished it quite quickly; we went downstairs and sang it to John's wife at the time, Cynthia, and a journalist he was friendly with called Maureen Cleave. We were very pleased with ourselves."

Paul McCartney, about the song Help!, 2015

Cynthia listening to John playing a guitar while on vacation in Tahiti, May of 1964

After John's death, there's been a bit of, I wouldn't say controversy but a definite noticeable theory, on whether or not John wrote songs for Cynthia. John didn't really outright say that so-and-so was written for Cynthia… to come to think about it, it was really rare that at press conferences and interviews, the muse of music wasn't really touched on as it is now. John didn't really get in depth with his songs until the late 1960s while with Yoko. Of course, I do strongly believe that there are songs inspired by Cynthia. You just have to really listen to the lyrics. Here's the list of songs that I believe were written for Cynthia (lyrics and more in-depth look into the songs, check the Labels for Songs, located ➡ on the blog):

Do You Want to Know a Secret? 1962

Ask Me Why 1962

Please Please Me 1962

I'm in Love 1963 The Fourmost (originally written by John)

It Won't Be Long 1963

I Call Your Name 1963

All I’ve Got to Do 1963

A Hard Day’s Night 1964

I Should Have Known Better 1964

You Can’t Do That 1964

I’ll Be Back 1964

Anytime At All 1964

If I Fell 1964

When I Get Home 1964

I Feel Fine 1964

Help! 1965

Girl 1965

In My Life 1965

It's Only Love 1965

Run For Your Life 1965

Wait 1965

Good Morning Good Morning 1967

Across the Universe 1968

Yer Blues 1968

One After 909 1969 (originally written in the early 1960s)

Jealous Guy 1971 John Lennon (originally written in 1968)

"I'm sure I was part of John's writing. In those days, none of them would say, 'I'm writing this for so-and-so', because it would be too embarrassing. But he actually wrote poetry to me quite a lot. The only song I thought might be something to do with me was Girl, but of course John isn't here to say any more. But whatever they were writing at the time was about their lives anyway."

Cynthia, 1995

"It was too sloppy when you were young to dedicate anything to anybody. Macho Northern men didn't do that in those days. I can only muse about our time together and feel from the music."

Cynthia, 1999

For some strange reason, in his later years, John associated both Girl and Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds to Yoko; John didn't know Yoko when he wrote Girl and barely had any interest in her other than an annoyance during Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. In her John book, Cynthia wrote that John told her that she was an inspiration of his music. Over the years in various interviews and Beatles conventions, Cynthia revealed some songs that she suspected to be to her, like In My Life and Girl. I definitely believe that the 'homesick' songs (I'll Be Back, When I Get Home, Wait) were definitely for Cynthia as were the 'jealousy' songs (You Can't Do That, Run For Your Life). It's too bad that John isn't alive to confirm although I also don't think John would reveal much. Cynthia barely wrote anything about the songs her famous ex-husband wrote in her first book, A Twist of Lennon, while she did opened up more in her second book, John. In the hardcover John version, Cynthia mistakenly thought All My Loving was for her but the truth is it's mainly Paul's song and written for Jane Asher. The mistake was edited out in the paperback version so Cynthia must have realized the error. 

Cynthia's Favorite Song(s)

Now we move on to a different yet related subject: Cynthia's favorite song. For a number of years, it's been In My Life. She even covered it in 2011. Besides In My Life, another favorite song was She Loves You as the yeah, yeah, yeah part reminded her of John's Christmas letter when they started dating to her where he wrote yes, yes, yes. As for John's solo work, Cynthia's favorite song was Woman; she named her perfume after the song. As for her least favorite, Cynthia was open and consistent that it was Love Me Do as she thought it was monotonous. 

“There were so many but let me say Woman. I just thought it was so beautiful the overall sentiment about women. I know it’s said that it was written for Yoko, but I always felt it was written for all the women in his life, a little bit like In My Life, looking back in retrospect. It was such a gentle, beautiful love song, and that’s how I’d rather remember him than for his battling political songs or for all the anger that came out. I just felt that at the end he was mellowing and softening.”

Cynthia, 2005

“I find it very strange when we go out to dinner with someone and they say, ‘Do you mind if we put on Rubber Soul?’ I say, ‘Please do.’ My favourite? I love Sgt Pepper. I love them all except Love Me Do and I didn’t like George’s first sitar music. But everything else just got better. My favourite track is a bit sentimental — it’s In My Life.”

Cynthia, 2005

The Last to Join: Ringo

Ringo dancing for John and Cynthia while in Miami, Florida, February of 1964

Photographed by Dezo Hoffman

Cynthia saw Ringo performed several times while he was a drummer for Rory Storm & The Hurricanes while dating John at various clubs in Liverpool- particularly the Cavern. But Ringo and Cynthia didn't officially met until after John and Cynthia were newly married and living in Brian Epstein's apartment; they unfortunately got off on the wrong foot. When John brought Ringo home, Cynthia was making dinner Vesta Beef Curry from a packet (just add water). Despite a limited amount of serving, Cynthia offered him some but Ringo refused, including a follow up offer of a sandwich. What Cynthia didn't know until later that Ringo had many illnesses and operations as a child and was very sensitive with spicy food. I don't know if Ringo was aware that John and Cynthia were married? I don't even know when this happened of the visit but probably just before Cynthia started to show in her pregnancy. Ringo wasn't invited to their wedding- he had literally just joined the Beatles a week before and wasn't yet "in" with John, Paul, and George's tight knit bond. He didn't know until gradually on tour while staying in hotels and, for sure, when The Beatles met with an accountant and John filed for a dependent (see post Mr. & Mrs. Lennon). Since the food incident, Ringo and Cynthia were wary yet polite with each other until eventually they got closer, getting along very well. 

"One evening, soon after the wedding, I was standing at the stove stirring yet another Vesta curry when John came in with a short, skinny young man whose small, square hands flashed oddly in the light. I peered closer and saw that he was wearing a ring on every finger - an unusual habit in Liverpool.'This is Ringo,' said John. 'He's going to be our drummer.' Pete Best, their previous drummer, had recently left the group. Despite his good looks and skill on the drums he'd never really fitted in with the other boys. While John, Paul and George laughed and joked and swopped witty repartee, Pete sat silently on the edge, quiet, thoughtful and on a different wavelength altogether. Ringo in contrast wasn't handsome and at the time I didn't consider he was a brilliant drummer but they didn't need a brilliant drummer. They needed a good beat provided by someone compatible. Ringo was perfect. Very Scouse and down to earth, he was a natural clown and he made a great fall guy for the rest of them.The first time John and I heard the boys' music coming out of the radio instead of the Cavern it was almost too thrilling to take in! 'Hello, Ringo,' I said, tearing my eyes away from the glittering rings and giving the curry another stir. I was a bit embarrassed about that curry. The portions weren't large, I didn't think I could stretch the meal to three and there was no other food in the house. Ringo was embarrassed too. He didn't know what to say to me. I was from Hoylake so he probably thought I was posh, and I was also John's wife so he didn't want to make a bad impression. He declined my offer of a sandwich and sat there politely with a cup of tea while John and I ate our meal. It was all a bit starchy and I don't think I was ever to see Ringo so subdued again. In fact Ringo joined the group at a very good time. They were now well known in Liverpool and getting plenty of gigs. John and Paul were writing a lot of songs and Brian hawk their work round a few record companies. Eventually they ended up with producer George Martin."

Cynthia, 1994

John, Cynthia, Maureen, and Ringo in Trinidad and Tobago, January of 1966

In 1965, after Ringo married Maureen Cox, they moved to Weybridge, Surrey, about 10 minutes away from John and Cynthia. They became very close, hanging out together over the weekend, going out to clubs, and a vacation to Trinidad and Tobago in January of 1966. Usually, Ringo would walk home after being with John. One of Julian's earliest memories would be riding on John's motorbike to Ringo's home. 

"John had Julian and I had Zak so we'd try to do the fatherly things. We'd try to do manly things too; we'd go to the pub and bring Maureen and Cynthia  a Babycham or something- a real Liverpool attitude" 

Ringo Starr

"I mainly saw John in that period because we lived a couple of blocks from each other. We used to spend practically every weekend together. We'd edit 8mm film and have fun- sometimes hysterical fun. I'd walk home. One Bonfire Night that we had at my place, John and I decided to show our kids some fireworks. We went and bought all these fizzy ones. We'd smoke a lot of herbalized stuff so we didn't want anything really loud. We were doing this whole set up and sitting around, relaxing a little and we went outside to give the babies this big show and everything we bought just exploded! Exploded! What the kids must have thought, I don't know because the grown-ups were going 'Ow! Ow! Aaaagh!' We were so shocked, we had to go back inside. And that's what makes our children what they are today." 

Ringo Starr

"Ringo had this habit of lighting up two cigarettes, one for Maureen at the same time that he lit his own. I remember thinking it was a loving thing to do and wishing John did it for me. But that would have been too obviously demonstrative, maybe, for John." 

Cynthia, 1985

"All I knew was that he was away a lot. When he came home, and we were together, I recall most of all the fun like flying a kite in the garden, or riding on the back of Dad's motorbike down to Ringo's home. The rest of my childhood with dad is a fog."

Julian 

"But I do not have any more memories of them. Not even John. I remember him as someone who always came by the house, but unfortunately I was very small. I could not say that some scenes stayed with me."

Zak Starkey, 2019

Unfortunately, the fun ended in 1968 when John and Cynthia broke up; Cynthia was literally cut off from John's life and Ringo rarely saw Cynthia afterwards. Ringo and Maureen did attend Cynthia's housewarming party after she remarried to Roberto Bassanini in 1970. Ringo and Maureen (more on Cynthia's relationship with Maureen later on in it's own post) separated by 1974 before divorcing in July of 1975. Ringo went to Los Angeles and bunked with John, who was also having marital problems with Yoko and was with May Pang; they partied, got drunk, did drugs, and played music with Harry Nilsson, Keith Moon (who also went through a recent divorce), Mickey Dolenz, and more. During that time, with May and Cynthia's support, John and Julian reconnected; for Julian's first visit in America, Cynthia accompanied him to New York before they all went to California where Cynthia saw Ringo for the first time in some years. Not much is really know other than John and Julian reconnecting and Cynthia stayed at Jim Kelter's home. In December of 1980, Ringo called Maureen to inform her about John's death; Cynthia was staying with Maureen and spoke to Ringo over the phone. Ringo and Cynthia saw each other in 1986 for a charity event with his wife Barbara Bach. I don't doubt that Ringo and Cynthia saw and spoke to each other under sad circumstances while Maureen was sick and dying in 1994. The last time Ringo and Barbara saw Cynthia was in 2006 for the Cirque du Soleil LOVE show in Las Vegas. After her death in 2015, Ringo issued a short yet sweet tweet in Cynthia's memory.

In His Life: The John Lennon Story

2000; television movie

John… Phillip McQuillan 

Cynthia… Gillian Kearney

Based mainly during the late Quarry Bank years (meeting Paul McCartney, relationship with his mother Julia) up until 1964 before the Beatles visit America. It wasn't a bad tv movie- the Mendips set was actually Mendips.

Cynthia was first seen as a brunette saying hi to Stuart and quickly got quiet when she saw John; she wasn't too impressed. John checked her out but shook her off as he thought Mimi would approve. But John had a change of heart while at a party when he asked her to dance. Cynthia mentioned her fiance but John told her he didn't ask her to marry him. They danced, then they kissed.

Next, Cynthia was now a blonde. John was in Hamburg sending her letters, he even called her. Oh, speaking of her blonde hair, it looked fake on her. She looked like she was wearing a wig- the actress most likely was indeed. 

Anyway, later, John and Cynthia were walking on the dock where he noticed she was being quiet. Cynthia told him she was pregnant (error: Cynthia told John in her apartment). John and Brian talked about it and Brian's insistence of keeping the marriage a secret.

She was in the hospital after giving birth to Julian. John got out of a taxi under a disguise and entered the room. Julian was in the baby bed cart thingy where John picked him up (error: according to Cynthia, she was holding him when John came in). Julian got fussy was John was holding him and unsure of what to do so he gave Julian to Cynthia to calm him down. Cynthia spotted the onlookers outside her window, John closed the blinds and told her about going to Spain with Brian. Cynthia wasn't happy but understood.

In Cynthia's last appearance in the movie was during Paul's 21st birthday when a drunken John got into a fight with Bob Wooler.

While John was in Paris with the Beatles, newspapers featured Cynthia and outed John as a married man. Brian was furious while John didn't care (error: the marriage came out before the Paris tour).

Drugs and Alcohol

John at Brian Epstein's home in London on May 19, 1967 during the press launch of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. Many people there have commented how John looked while stoned.

As mentioned quite a bit on this blog, drugs were part of the catalyst that broke up John and Cynthia. Drugs started to take hold on John since 1960 in Hamburg when he and the Beatles were playing long hours on stage to boost the energy. I will go through drug by drug in great detail but to say that in general, it affected their relationship greatly. Cynthia wasn't the far out druggie one, she did not get addicted; yes, she tried some (pills, marijuana, and LSD) but each one had a bad effect on her. Some she understood why John took them: pills boosted his energy, pot helped him relaxed, LSD he escaped mentally. LSD Cynthia hated the most- will explain momentarily. Because she was sober, Cynthia watched in great horror of her witty husband becoming a stranger living with her. During perhaps the last year of their marriage, John didn't look at Cynthia the same way as he got more and more deep- he wanted a partner of crime, but instead he got straight and narrow. John wanted pizzazz but was bored. If John had never got deeply involved with LSD, perhaps their marriage would have survived longer than it did. While John was high in the clouds, Cynthia was rightfully worried about her son. John would come in at the crack of dawn with his strung out "friends" that littered around the house, sleeping off their high after loud partying. Cynthia quickly realized that you can't have two drugged out "not there" parents- Julian was a toddler who demanded attention and needed guidance. John did noticed the rift; but his solution was to join him on his drugged out mental journeys rather than sobering up, or to cut off LSD entirely. John would try to convince her that it was really beautiful and wonderful but didn't fully comprehend that whenever Cynthia got high, she would get monsters and boogeymen while John would get flowers and laughter. It pulled John and Cynthia away into different directions. Cynthia felt helpless as she didn't know how to help him or put her foot down… if she did, John would have rebelled and sink further down. Cynthia was in a no win situation.

At the time of the 1960s, there were barely any rehabs- maybe anonymous meetings or hospital treatments, but no rehab. It started to boom out around the time United States First Lady Betty Ford admitted to drug use and seeked help, even forming her own rehab clinic center. By that time after Sean's birth in 1975, John kicked out most of his drug habits. Although I do think he had a couple of marijuana tokes up in his death.

"Which was the road of 'enlightenment' as far as drugs were concerned. John was in a more trapped situation than I was. Trapped in his own mind, and in the Beatles’ situation and the pressure of the music and the pop world. And I think he’d had enough and wanted to escape that. I had nothing to escape. I wasn’t looking for anything else. I wasn’t searching in my mind for new experiences on a mental state. That was the beginning. He was always searching, John. Always looking for the truth, an ideal, a dream. And I suppose once he’d got hooked on that situation and the mental state, he thought he’d found something new in life that nobody else had. I think that any drugs are destructive of anything and everyone. But the reality of life was slipping by John. He wasn’t aware anymore. He became less interested in the original dream of becoming famous and becoming wealthy, and that didn’t matter to him anymore. He had that, he had it all."

Cynthia, 1987

"John needed to escape his reality. I understood completely but I couldn't go along with him."

Cynthia

"Creatively, it’s very difficult to say. I think drugs were an escape at the time. And that’s my view, and they were still – no matter what they did, as far as drugs were concerned, I think they were creative in themselves. So the creativity would still be there. It might be heightened or lessened – but they were still very creative." 

Cynthia, 1982

Preludin

In 1960 while performing long hours at seedy clubs until the crack of dawn, John, Paul, George, Pete Best, and Stuart Sutcliffe would get obviously tired. In order to keep up their energy, someone offered up preludin. When Cynthia visited John in April of 1961, one of the first things she noticed was his energy and body build being skinny by barely eating while having the time of their lives despite living conditions. Cynthia did take preludin and had a bad reaction: it was as though she was feeling dizzy and the patterns on the wall went wild. I don't think Cynthia took those pills anymore after that trip. I believe John, Paul, and George stopped after their time in Hamburg ended.

"Nevertheless, exciting though those evenings were, I doubt whether we'd have been able to stay awake all night every night without a little help. We managed to get hold of some Preludin - speed - so there we were sipping beer and as the night wore on we'd take half a "prely" to keep us going. Soon my heart would be racing and I'd feel giddy and hyped-up and silly. Mind you, on one occasion the combined 'prelys' and booze had a dramatic effect. I woke up the next morning to find that the zig-zag wallpaper in my room was zig-zagging about in an alarming manner, every line dancing independently of the line next to it. And everything else I looked at seemed to be moving. I felt terrible and it took all day for things to settle down. I gave up the prelys after that. But this was my only unpleasant experience. Everything else was magical."

Cynthia, 1994

Marijuana

Although it made Cynthia sick, she didn't objected John to smoke. She saw that it relaxed him, put him in a positive mood, and helped relieve the pressure he was having. John had deadlines for books, films, albums, writing, demoing, recording, touring, photo sessions, interviews, oh my gosh I am tired already and ready for a nap! I believe John started smoking pot by 1964 during the Beatles actual first major tour in America with a visit by Bob Dylan. Bob misinterpreted the lyrics in the song I Want to Hold Your Hand as I get high instead of I can't hide so he thought that they were potheads. They definitely became potheads after that! They filmed Help! stoned, John had said that Rubber Soul was influenced by marijuana while Revolver was influenced by LSD, and Paul wrote Got to Get You Into My Life for pot rather than long believed Jane Asher. Paul was a longtime pothead until after his divorce in 2008 when he became a single parent to a toddler Beatrice. Cynthia claimed she didn't do much smoking but she could still get stoned by getting a contact high.

"Yet gradually, as the years passed, our relationship changed. John changed and drugs had a lot to do with it. It was inevitable that the pressure would mount. John had no control over his career. The lawyers, the managers, the record company - they were the ones who seemed to have the real control, who knew what was going on. John had to go along with what they said. There was so much money around, yet the Beatles were so young and vulnerable. The stress grew and John wanted something the help him to relax. At first it was pot. Gradually I noticed that every party you went to, people were passing reefers round. The first time I'd come across it was in a record producer's flat. Somebody had introduced him to pot and he wanted to introduce it to everyone else. 'It's fun,' he told us. 'It's relaxing.' So we all tried it. Within minutes I realised it was a mistake. Everyone else seemed to be enjoying themselves. They were giggling and happy but after just a couple of puffs I felt paranoid. Someone was playing a hideous trick on us, I decided. I didn't trust anyone. All around me the others seemed to have turned into idiots. Somebody would stand up and point to something, some ordinary everyday object and everyone would fall on the floor laughing. I couldn't understand it. 'It's not funny,' I wanted to tell them. 'What's funny about a table lamp?' But it was useless. They only giggled all the more. You couldn't get through to them. They'd gone stupid. I'd always been keen to try new things but that night I ended up with my head down the toilet for about two hours. Pot was a big mistake. John, however, enjoyed it, but he confined his smoking to the studio. There it calmed him down and helped him to enjoy the music. It didn't seem such a bad thing."

Cynthia, 1994

"John kept a big box on a convenient shelf filled with pot. He often stayed stoned or dropped acid, something else that terrified Cynthia."

Tony Bramwell

LSD (Lysergic Acid Diethylamide)

How John and Cynthia first experience with LSD will have its own individual post but for short story: a dentist spiked their sugar cubes with it during a dinner party with his girlfriend, George, and Pattie in 1965. The first experience was terrifying! But once John, Cynthia, George, and Pattie got back to reality, John was eager to try again. George too but not as far as John got while Pattie went with the flow. Cynthia? Not so much. She claimed to have had only three trips: dentist, carried away, and 'Mission Cynthia'. Since the dentist one will have a post all on its own, let's go into the carried away and 'Mission Cynthia': carried away was quite simple- John and Cynthia were with a group of friends, someone had LSD and because everyone was in such a jolly randy good times mood, Cynthia participated in and… she did not have fun. The third and final time was Mission Cynthia: it was John's way to fix their marriage for the better to have his wife with him on the hallucinating adventure. Cynthia was for it; they set the date, time, where, who could come, and the acid was laced into a drink or food so Cynthia couldn't back out at the last minute. Once again, Cynthia had an awful time. Later in 1976 in an open letter, John wrote of Cynthia seemingly forgot about other subsequent trips… I don't think John was lying as he was pretty open about the drug taking. Maybe there were more than three drug-trips but those definitely stood out for Cynthia.

"It was at this point in our marriage that I realized that unless I joined the club, we weren't going to survive, so I succumbed to one of John's never ending requests to take LSD with him. I didn't want to but I felt that I had to save our marriage. I also believe John in his own way was doing the same. During my trip John was marvellous. But whatever happiness and awareness John gained through it, I didn't. I hated every moment. It was hell on earth. The hallucinations sent me into a panic. Through my tears and fears I would look at John in the hope that he could in some way help me out of the prison my mind had become, only to see the man I loved turn into a giant mule with razor sharp teeth leering and laughing at me. All the time John kept telling me he loved me and would never leave me. All I could reason was that I was definitely going mad. It was something I never wanted to experience again." 

Cynthia 

"I knew I had to keep away from the stuff for everyone's sake, but mostly for Julian's. I thought John could take care of himself, but he couldn't. Luckily for me I had a strong instinct for survival. But I was an absolute bore to everybody. They did their utmost to get me to go on it. 'Oh, it's beautiful,' they'd say. 'Come on, let's be brothers and sisters.' I always hoped John would understand that you don't have to do these things to be yourself. They all thought drugs would enhance something in their lives. I suppose I thought that just by being me I'd make some sort of point. But it didn't work. I could see John being sucked away into a dream world. I tried to fight it but the dream world won. All the big guns were on the other side."

Cynthia, 1976

"The Indian period was very relaxing, we were away from all the screaming and pressure. Brian Epstein had just died and we each needed to gather our thoughts. But the Beatles began dabbling in drugs when we went out with a dentist friend and he spiked our drinks. It was a night of absolute horror for all of us - probably the worst thing that's ever happened to me. After that, John got really into experimenting with drugs and because he was having a good time he wanted me to join him, but I hated it. And that was the end of the end of our relationship which was very sad." 

Cynthia, 1995

"She had been persuaded to drop acid at a dinner party where she, John, George, and Pattie had been introduced to it, and had such a bad trip that she wouldn't use it again. She was convinced that sooner or later John would literally lose his mind, that his brain cells would melt and dribble out through his nose. The way in which he lay for hours on a wicker sofa in the sun lounge sleeping or gazing into the sky ignoring her and Julian convinced her that the rot had already started. She would hover helplessly over him, telling him to stop, watching him like a hawk in case he died- all of which wound him up, pissed him off, made him even more paranoid."

Tony Bramwell

"After the LSD incident, I was not dealing with a rational person. I lost John to drugs, not Yoko."

Cynthia

"When John discovered drugs I lost him. He had decided his path in life and there was nothing I could do about it. He would just take acid every day in the hope of escaping from me, from Julian, from the Beatles. I tried acid twice but it just made me feel sick. My priority was Julian, while John had no interest in responsibility at all."

Cynthia, 2000

Heroin

In his new relationship with Yoko Ono, John started taking heroin probably around May or June of 1968. Yoko was taking it and introduced John to it; I don't know if John was still taking LSD at the time unless he dumped it in favor of heroin? Can you imagine doing heroin and LSD at the same time? That would have been quite a trip! A trip I wouldn't go on! Heroin scares me and LSD is hardly available anymore. John must have known it was bad as he didn't see Julian until he settled in Tittenhurst Park in 1969 and got cleaned, going cold turkey. I've heard Yoko continued to dabble with heroin longer but this isn't about Yoko- this is about John (and Cynthia).

Cocaine

I don't know when John tried cocaine but I am definitely guessing during his Lost Weekend while he hung out with Harry Nilsson and Keith Moon who were taking it at the time. Cocaine was definitely popular in the 1970s. 

Julian has had his own fair share of doing drugs- I know he did cocaine in the 1980s, early 1990s. Marijuana, too. Not sure about heroin- maybe a dabble here and there. 

And then there was John's drinking. That was around since the beginning of John's relationship with Cynthia. Well, before that: Paul recalled smelling beer on John when they first met in 1957. John did drink a lot… it couldn't have been the aftermath of his mother's death as she died in 1958 he was already drinking… but I do think his nasty drunken temper really came out after Julia's death. He was a regular at Ye Cracke bar in Liverpool near the art college. During Paul's 21st birthday party in 1963, John got very drunk by getting into a fight with Bob Wooler, and a few heated exchanges. Tony Bramwell has said that John would be happily jolly in two drinks but afterwards John would be not happy. I, honestly, know someone like that… after several drinks, this person becomes miserable company. In 1974, John's drinking went on a binge; even getting kicked out of a club for heckling. Was Cynthia a drinker? I would say definitely yes but not as an alcoholic. She did loved her wine.