I’m Looking Through You

John and Cynthia on the plane in February of 1964

This is just a hunch, but I believe John was wooing Cynthia while serenading her with Ain't She Sweet. John first saw Cynthia as an uptight snobby shy girl and used his disruptive crude jokes and teases to break down the up tightness. Once he managed to get her to laugh and blush, John went to the next level of showing the sensitivity, caring, and wounded boy while noticing that Cynthia was a very beautiful young lady. Cynthia's feelings for John soften, and they became friendlier; his jokes became complimentary. She started arriving to Lettering class earlier and leaving later hoping to get his attention and sitting close by. Maybe Cynthia was in denial with her feelings for John at this point? She told herself that there was more to John's story and wanted to dig deeper… Cynthia was still a dedicated art student with a boyfriend who planned on marrying her but at the same time they were drifting apart. Honestly I don't think anything was the same for Cynthia and Barry from their breakup caused by another woman. Maybe her first time with Barry was the catalyst of her feelings and made Cynthia questioned if he was the right man for her? John offered rebellion, humor, and fascination. He wasn't boring. Not to insult Barry: according to Cynthia, he was handsome, the Romeo of the neighborhood, was a catch, came from a good functional family, had a job, and tons of potential of the future. Her mother Lillian approved of Barry.

One day in Liverpool College of Art, the Lettering instructor stepped out so the students started a game of eye testing. It was discovered that John and Cynthia had similarity eyesight; without their glasses, they would wave at a light pole rather than the greeting friend. They talked about their common disability but after that, nothing much changed as friendly acquaintances. However, things really changed for Cynthia on another day: during a lecture, Cynthia was sitting behind John and their mutual friend, Helen Anderson, being entertained by John’s antics. Next thing Cynthia saw was an innocent gesture made by Helen soothing John's hair. Jealousy shot through Cynthia so fast, it practically knocked her socks off!

“One afternoon, all the intermediate students were asked to be in the lecture theatre for a discussion. John was a few seats away from me, and my friend Helen Anderson, who was also friendly with John, suddenly leapt forward and stroke have hair. Helen didn't fancy John- it was a friendly gesture in response to something he said. But when I realized how jealous I was, it brought me up with a jolt.”

Cynthia

“Laughing, she reached forward and stroked the stray locks into place. And as her fingers touched John's hair, a pang of pure jealousy shot through me. I was astonished. It was instantaneous, completely out of my control and weird. I didn't even like him, why should I be jealous?”

Cynthia

“Despite myself, I had fallen in love. Until that moment I was serious, hard-working Cynthia who wanted to be an art teacher. But from then on, things were never normal again.”

Cynthia, 2000

Cynthia was now in love. With another man while with someone else.

Not exactly sure when John realized he was in love with Cynthia other than what she revealed that after their first love-making, John told her he lusted her during that term… but more about that in a different post.