Part one of two. I am going to say (well, write) it: once again this won't be an easy read and there will be other difficult subjects to explore. However, I can't ignore it either. It's another part of John that makes me cringe and wonder why Cynthia managed to be with him… but to be fair, Cynthia didn't know this part was going on until much later. Cynthia admitted that she was blinded by love and naive.
Aside from his infidelity while with Cynthia, I am also going to take a little look into John's previous relationships with girlfriends before Cynthia here as well.
John was not an angelic boyfriend: he was jealous, possessive, quick mood swings, and he cheated. Why be in a relationship in the first place? Only John can answer that. It's been said that John cheated right from the start. And, of course, he didn't want Cynthia to know about it. Although I do think some affair claims were exaggerating and mythical, but fact is fact: he had a wandering eye.
To be fair though, so did Paul McCartney, George Harrison, and later Ringo Starr. I have heard, and I can believe it, that Paul was the worst of the four. At least until he became a married man because I never heard Paul cheating on any of his three wives. Anyway, back to our main focus: John. I think Cynthia had her own suspicions, but had little lack of proof. She wasn't that stupid but love can be blind. John also kept Cynthia away from some parties- probably told her it would be too dangerous or some lame yet believable excuse to keep her away. His friends would also cover for John.
“Cynthia never went to them or many other parties; everybody protected her from what was going on between John and other women.”
Pauline Sutcliffe
“I didn't suspect, none of us did. We only heard about it years later. Now I’ve got to know how many there were and what happened and I've thought, 'My God, when he was in Hamburg, I could have caught anything off him!’ Thank God I was lucky. They must have gone through so many German frauleins while they were there, but we didn't honestly think of it.”
Cynthia, 2005
“John, who didn't mind describing himself as 'a great wanker from way back’ was highly delighted with some of his efforts. 'I’ve had a great session,’ he would tell us, 'I pulled a couple of birds- but not a word to Cyn!’ Cynthia would often arrive at Mathew Street for our evening performances- and so perhaps would a girl who had been posing for John in the afternoon. When a girl beamed a knowing smile his way, he would switch off as if he never seen her before in his life or, if near enough, give a quick innocuous 'Hello’, for fear of Cynthia stumbling onto his secret.”
Pete Best
John would take pictures of these girls. I wonder where those pictures are today? John may have hidden or destroyed them.
I do wonder what made John want to cheat? Although some say John cheated right from the start. Cynthia did consistently say that they were inseparable in those early days of their relationship. The only real time John could cheat was when he took Cynthia to the bus station late at night. John was a night owl, so there is a good chance he used that time. Other chances would be when Cynthia was in class during the day (morning and afternoon); John playing hooky wasn't unusual. He was either playing with his band, drinking, and, yes, a side treat. Another available time would be playing somewhere with the Beatles out of town (not Hamburg or Scotland) or in a dangerous neighborhood where John convinced Cynthia to stay away. John did indeed have quite an opportunity to do as he pleased.
The affairs. The girls. Let's get into the ones who came forward or that we know about.
Beth was already talked about in a previous post (read Wild Ride: the Dating Years or click on her name under Labels on the right side of the blog ➡).
Barbara Baker
Barbara Baker (previous girlfriend)
John's first serious girlfriend when he was 16 years old and who he lost his virginity to. John's sister Julia remembers finding them making out and he would pay her to scram off (yet, he didn't pay when while doing the same thing to Cynthia!). Obviously, the relationship didn't last. Maybe a year.
Margaret Jones (previous girlfriend)
On and off girlfriend of Len Garry who briefly dated John in between while with Barbara. It was so brief, it was a type of relationship that if you blink, you would miss seeing it happen.
Thelma Pickles
Thelma Pickles (previous girlfriend)
Thelma was John's next girlfriend when he started Liverpool College of Art. I would say that they had most in common: her father bailed when she was 9 and they had a similar outlook on life. Thelma and John did have sex- even at Mendips when Mimi wasn't home. Their relationship basically petered out and remained friends. Thelma did briefly dated Paul a few short years later. Thelma and Cynthia knew each other but mainly as friendly associates. Thelma thought Cynthia could edge off John's anger. During their respected time with John at Liverpool College of Art, both Thelma and Cynthia would try to do John's schoolwork for him so he could squeak by, or attempted.
“He called her Miss Prim, and he said to me, 'It’s a pity she's a bit posh,’ implying there was a gulf he would never be able to overcome. It wasn't that John thought she had any feelings of superiority. He just recognized her different background, because she was from over the water. It was our inverted snobbery. When she walked into the room, he’d say, 'Don't talk like that 'cause Cynthia's here.’ He meant we had to be on our best behavior.”
Thelma Pickles
“Cynthia was so quiet. A completely different type from us. She came from over the water, the posh part, from a middle class area. She wore a twin set. She was very nice, but I just couldn't see her suiting John. He used to go on about her, telling us how marvelous she was. I just couldn't see it. I left college for a year, and when I was away I heard they were going strong. I thought that would settle him down, calm him a bit, but it didn't turn out that way at all.”
Thelma Pickles
I don't know if John cheated on Thelma but I wouldn't be surprised if he did.
Patricia Inder
Patricia Inder
One time on my Children of the Beatles Facebook page, my co-Administrator put up a picture of Julian with Paul Kilmister, son of Lemmy from a popular metal rock band Motorhead and Patricia, when they were briefly in a band together. Patricia made a comment and I, being slightly as a Cynthia defender and sarcastical bitch, replied to her, referring her as John's mistress. I guess she didn't like that word mistress at all as she insisted that she wasn't his mistress but a girlfriend who already shared her story in recent biographies on The Beatles. So… I suppose in her mind that she was The girlfriend and Cynthia was the side piece? I think I used the proper definition of 'mistress’ quite well… what do you think? Well, that was my only encounter with a side lover (MISTRESS!) of John's. That must have been awkward for Julian and for Paul of their parents’ love triangle.
Anyway, let's get down to the real point: Patricia regularly saw the Beatles perform, hardly missing their shows, and became friends with the band. She was 15 at the time and John thought she was too young, but as she claims, John wrote Hello Little Girl for her. When Patricia turned 19, their friendship turned romantic. They mostly had their trysts at her friend's apartment with a spare room and spend their nights together (after John took Cynthia to the train station), and when Cynthia got her own apartment, he would say he would be with Paul writing songs.
“John and I were friends before we became lovers and he was my first. I supposed I’ve always loved him.”
Patricia Inder
During their 'friend’ years (1958-1960), Patricia had a crush on Paul, who was dating Dot at the time. She wasn't attracted to John until he kissed her at a private party for two at a mutual friend’s apartment. He was romantic with her- kissing her eyelids. They would also talk, John spoke about his parents… I guess Cynthia was wrong that he only opened up to her… he would talk about his late mother to Patricia as well as with Cynthia.
“I knew about her, but she didn't know about me. John didn't often bring her to gigs, but I do remember one time he brought her to the Cavern. He came up to me and said he’d be over later after he’d put Cynthia in a taxi. Obviously, I wasn't happy about the situation and I’d tell John I felt I was wasting my time. His response was that one woman was never enough for a man. He would say he was torn between two blondes, that he loved Cynthia, but was in love with me. I have nothing against Cynthia. In fact, I’d love to meet her because we’d have a lot to talk about.”
Patricia Inder
If John was so 'in love’ with Patricia, why didn't he broke up with Cynthia? He had no problems doing so with Yoko, so why not with Patricia? Again, only John can answer that. Patricia claims that while they were drinking over dinner and after they left the restaurant, he proposed. She thought he was joking. The next day, it was forgotten. From the way she told her story, John was mostly with her in between gigs with the Beatles, nevermind with Cynthia. What about when John was in Hamburg- did he also write to Patricia? Did she travel up to see and be with him?
After Cynthia discovered she was pregnant, Paul told Patricia and John confirmed it (Patricia also claimed she had a pregnancy scare around the same time Cynthia discovered she was pregnant). He wanted to continue on with Patricia… ok, now this is the area where it gets sketchy as there are two different versions of the story:
- According to the Daily Mail (admittedly not the best source), Patricia didn't want to continue on. After the Beatles left Liverpool for good in 1963, Patricia moved on as a Nanny and didn't see John again until 1965.
- According to Philip Norman’s book, John Lennon: The Life, Patricia did continue to see John after he got married and had Julian. He would have Cynthia believe that he was working (on tour, writing with Paul) until he moved to London.
So, which one is true?
In 1965, the Beatles were playing at the Hammersmith Odeon. Patricia somehow got a backstage pass to see John. He was combing his hair until he saw her. Calling her the love of his life, John swing her around and kissed Patricia. They had little time to talk before he was to be on stage. That was the last time they would ever see each other. Patricia moved on with Lemmy Kilmister but held a torch for John. Apparently, John would ask mutual friends about her and would've loved to see her again.
“John spoilt it for me. He made me think all men were as romantic, funny, and talented as him. John was special, he really was. Wouldn't it have been great if I had married him after he proposed? Things may have turned out very differently for both of us.”
Patricia Inder
I wonder if John would have left Patricia for Yoko as he did with Cynthia? We will never know…
Besides Liverpool, there was also Hamburg.
John and Bettina Derlien in Hamburg, 1966
Bettina Derlien
Bettina worked as a barmaid at the Star Club in Hamburg. She soon discovered that she and John had a lot in common. They would go to the movies whenever John had free time and then some. It wasn't long until Bettina got pregnant; John allegedly demanded that she would get an abortion (proof that John was a naughty boy), which she did so. But the abortion would affect her health and weight by developing a glandular condition. Their relationship changed when John acted all shoddy but Bettina believed he really cared for her. In 1963, knowing that the Beatles were becoming popular, Bettina convinced a friend to take her down to where they were staying to reunite with John, who was now married. John saw her but avoided her as much as he could. Bettina encountered John once more in 1966 when the Beatles tour in Hamburg; it was a much friendlier encounter than three years previously and even posed together for photos.
Renata
A brief girlfriend in Hamburg but they had little time for each other due to conflicting schedules.
Cynthia was unaware of these affairs, she didn't find out until much later. I am not sure about Patricia, but Cynthia was at least happy to be the one John held on to. Cynthia was the one he wrote home to (that we know of!) and she was also the one John sent money to from his meager earnings for Cynthia to save for their future.
“I couldn't believe what he was doing. I said, 'If you do this every week, what do you live on?’ and he said, 'Oh, I can earn a few marks by playing for this stripper 'round the back street in the afternoon.’ It was incredible- very responsible behavior for a boy of that age. All the musicians seemed to booze their money away. John had to get it back to Liverpool quickly.”
Henry Henroid, the Star Club’s booking agent
“When John was with me, it was total commitment. Whatever he did outside our relationship didn't seem very important. We were together such a lot of the time that whatever other affairs he had once we met couldn't have amounted to much because I was with him most of the time. He kept me in Liverpool as late as I dared stay. It wasn't as if he wanted to get rid of me. Later on, during the Beatles’ very busy period and when he was away a lot, it was a different matter. But love is blind.”
Cynthia, 1985
No comments:
Post a Comment